"In this age and time, I think we've all been a little heartbroken or felt a little distant from our partner. We can all relate to AVON"
How do people do this, I thought to myself as I tidied up my room.
It has been almost two weeks since my boyfriend sent me a text. I have been here worrying and obsessing over why he wouldn’t chat me or make an effort to call me. He never even asked for my calling number.
I never thought much about it because we had social media and he could always chat me but the chats have stopped coming. I think, in my heart, I knew there was a problem when he stopped sending me text like-
“How was your day?”
“Have you eaten?”
“Are you ok?”
When school ended a month ago for summer break, he had promised that we would keep in touch and face-time all the time. Considering that we were going to University this year and we had both gotten into different Universities.
I had complained and told him that I didn’t want to drift apart from him but he promised me that we would figure it out.
Every time I bring up a problem we were facing, he would say, “we would figure it out”.
I am beginning to think that he was just trying to comfort me. We didn’t figure it out. We never even talked about it again. How can I be in a relationship and I haven’t heard from my boyfriend in so long.
I tried to talk to him. I have tried countless times. My chats just always get opened with no reply or a solemn reply like “yeah” or “cool”.
The last meaning full conversation we had was a month ago, before we parted. Two weeks ago, he sent me a “hi”- out of the blue.
How am I meant to respond to that after a week of radio silence?
I have never been one of those people who was ready to try long distance relationships. Absence made the heart grow colder- not fonder. But, I would have been willing to give it a shot for him.
A few days ago, I sent him a text. Deciding to lay it all out there.
Me: Babe, what is happening to us? I feel like we are drifting and it’s making me insecure about our relationship. I don’t like it. We basically live an hour from each other at the moment but we haven’t seen each other- not even once. What’s going to happen when we are off to University and we are at least two hours from each other? I can’t go through all the pain and worry. I just…just can’t.
Him: We will talk tomorrow.
Tomorrow never came.
Three days later, he sent me a text.
Him: Sorry, I was busy.
I honestly didn’t know how to respond to that so I replied.
Me: It’s fine.
Him: I know it’s not fine, don’t lie to me.
Me: It’s fine, really.
But it wasn’t fine. It was far from fine. I felt dejected and unwanted and lonely. I just didn’t know how to tell him all that.
I could feel my feelings for him fading and I didn’t know what to do.
It’s like I don’t exist to him when we are not together.
That’s the problem.
My mind keeps asking me- IF THIS IS REAL, WHY DON’T WE FEEL A LITTLE BIT MORE?
© 2020 Yvonne