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A New Beginning! Chapter Three-Hope

Many people pray for love, others pray for hope! Every love story is beautiful, but each story is different!

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My Truth


Kane had called me one day out of the blue asking if I could help him to move a friend of his out of an unstable situation. For a split second I had hesitated. But after about thirty seconds my mind was made up, and I had dropped everything I was doing just to see him again. It wasn't the thought of helping his friend that had me to agree, it was knowing the fact that I would get to be near him. I knew at that point that I was already gone. I knew at that point that I would do pretty much anything that he asked of me. It had taken me a while to figure out where he was at, and after being pulled over for a broken tail light, I had finally arrived at the house. My heart had started racing as soon as I had seen him standing in the driveway. Moving his friend had been an all day deal, but just being close to him and seeing him smile whenever he had looked at me had made it all worth it in the end. I had known after that night that it was truly time to leave Stephen.

Hidden Agenda


Kane was in a tight spot himself because the truck that he had bought going off someone's word had decided to quit working. So I had made him an offer that I was hoping he wouldn't refuse. I had offered that he could come live with me, and we could share the truck so that both of us could make it to work everyday. I had offered for him to live with me so that he would have a stable roof over his head and food to eat. Part of me had made the offer to be close to him even though he wasn't looking for anything serious, but another part of me didn't like to see him struggling. I was tired of being alone, and I wanted to give him a better chance at life. Part of me had hoped that maybe in time our friendship would turn into something more, but at the same time if it didn't well just having him close was enough for me. I'll admit sharing one vehicle was very trying at times seeing as how our work schedules always collided. I felt bad because he was losing out of work hours and money having to come and pick me up, just to turn right back around and head right back to work after. It went on like that for a while. I ended up switching jobs so that I could walk to work most days and have him to pick me up if he was off in time. But knowing that he was making it to work, and coming home to me every night gave me a small measure of comfort.

His Truth


The more time we had spent together, the stronger my feelings were growing. Kane is definitely not an easy person to read, so I could never figure out what he was thinking or feeling unless he told me. Days turned into weeks as I was growing restless. I wanted to become more than just friends. He was up front and honest with me about a couple of things though. He had told me that he talked to a lot of females, because in past experiences he couldn't trust males around anyone he was with. Being completely honest, that truth made me extremely insecure. In the back of mind I had wondered if we ever ended up together if I would always have to compete for his attention for the other woman that he talked to almost on the daily. He also told me that every past relationship that he had been in that they had cheated and lied to him. I knew the feeling first hand, but I had also been the cheater in my past. He had been hurt a lot, and I wanted to show him that I could be different than the rest. But first there was plenty of things that I needed to work on myself.

My Insecurities


I had watched him what seemed like a million times put his code into his phone, so one night while he was asleep my curiosity had gotten the better of me and I had peeked. To say that I hadn't felt guilty afterwards was an understatement. But after seeing all the females that he talked to, I felt extremely plain compared to them. Now at this time we weren't even together, but my jealousy had gotten the better of me. I had started a huge argument about it the next morning because I had felt that he would never give me a chance. I had lied and told him that I thought he had just been using me for a place to stay, and to use the truck. But in reality I had made him the offer, and I was taking my jealousy out on him without actually telling him the real reason behind it. Just being friends he made me feel special, cherished, and in the back of my mind I had felt like he might end up choosing someone else to be with. I didn't want to lose the way he made me feel. It was selfish of me, but I couldn't help it. I wanted him to myself. But it only put strain between us when I let my jealousy get the best of me.

Hope

For weeks after he had started staying with me I had wondered if there could ever be a chance to become more. In the beginning he was very closed off, and guarded about what he said. But then I had started noticing as the days came and went, that he started opening up more. It had started with little things like telling me small pieces about his past, to telling me about things he loved to do, to letting me see the more wild and untamed side of himself. I had found it became easier each time to let him in more. It took him what had felt like forever before he finally gave me a chance. The first time he had acknowledged that we were together, was also the first time I had ever met his parents and his older brother. That in itself was completely nerve wracking to me. I have a hard time around new people, and at the time I hadn't known by him taking me to his parents house that he was giving me a part of himself. He thought he was being funny by calling me his "New side piece" to his older brother. I'm not going to lie that phrase in itself had kind of hurt, but when he had explained later that night that he was introducing us as an item, well I finally understood. I didn't talk much that first time meeting his family, I had mainly observed the way that they had talked and acted around each other. You could tell that despite their pasts that they loved and cared for each other deeply. Kane got his wicked sense of humor from his father, and his more tender and affectionate side from his mother. I envied them! They had a bond that I never had the opportunity to have with my parents. But it also made me realize not to take anything for granted.

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