Many people pray for love, others pray for hope! Every love story is beautiful, but each story is different!
Six Years Ago
Being a single mother to an 18 month old, and a week old newborn is extremely hard thing to do. So when one of my best friends had told me she had wanted to set me up on a blind date, I was leery. It took her awhile to convince me to even consider it. But after much pestering and persuasion I finally gave in. Turned out the blind date wasn't so blind in the end. The person she had set up for me was none other than a guy that we had both went to middle school with. Things had been awkward in the beginning for many reasons. One reason being that I had already had two children, while James had none and would never be able to have any biological children of his own, but he swore we could make it work. Another reason being because he was a "Momma's Boy" and did anything and everything that she told him to do. The first year was extremely rocky for us, but we made it through the worst times. We had lived together on and off at his parents house, but I always ended up moving back home because I couldn't bare their judgments or their degrading nature's. So fast forward another two years and that's where things got interesting.
Three Years Ago
Things had become extremely bad with my children's father. I wanted a clean slate for my children and myself. So when James and his parents told me that they were planning on moving away and offered for me and the children to move with them a part of me wanted to go, just to start over, but the other part of me was scared of change. It took months for James to convince me to leave my home and family behind to start new. We moved two hours away from everyone and everything that was once familiar to me. Not long after my grandmother passed away, and I was left a broken shell of the person I used to be. The mental and physical abuse started not long after that. James and his mother became more controlive to the point that I was completely shut off from everyone. They made sure that me and the children had become completely isolated from all of my friends and family, making us become completely dependent on them for everything. We weren't allowed to be happy for long periods of time. They worked us on the farm like animals. James' mother worked us from sun up till sun down, never caring if we became ill. Most days I contemplated suicide from the sheer brutality of the life I had begun to live, the only thing that stopped me was knowing I had to protect my children. James and his mother had began to map out how each day of our lives for the last three years would be for their convenience. The children were miserable the biggest majority of the time, and I lost all hope of ever getting us away from them. Then James had gotten me addicted to pain pills, making sure to always have a supply ready so I would always go back to him for more. Some of the things he had me do in order to get them still makes me cringe just to think about. So in the end, that final day, I lied to save my children and to finally get away from them for good.
I never thought that after ending a six year abusive relationship that I would be forced to come back home. I vowed to myself that I would never let that happen, and yet here I am living proof that I had no other choice. Being a single mother of two small children definitely didn't help my self esteem any, especially as I feel like a failure to my children for not giving them the chance to continue to have two parents instead of one. The last time that James put his hands on me, turned out to be none other than our six year anniversary, but the last few years had became increasingly worse. So in order to save my children and myself, we came home. Most days I still question if that was even the right decision for us, but only time will tell. After a few months of being home, I had grown lonely and decided to try a dating app. Probably the stupidest thing to do, but I had been gone so long that I didn't know anyone at home anymore. I had met Stephen on the app, and for a few months I had begun to think that maybe I had finally became lucky. But boy was I so wrong. Stephen had begun to exhibit the same signs as James, with the controlive nature and the turbulent mood swings. Luckily I had saw the signs early enough and had gotten out of the relationship before further damage could be done. Life hadn't been easy for me since coming back home. Asking my little sister to raise my children until I could get back on my feet was the hardest thing I had to do, but there just wasn't room at my father's house for all of us. But I had slipped while I had been dating Stephen, after finding out that he had cheated. I came home one day to my father's house (the only place I had to go until I could get back on my feet) to find a perfect stranger sitting on the couch who took my breath away upon first glance. From his sandy blonde hair, to his intimidating blue eyes, his intriguing tattoo's, and his cocky smirk. I knew I was going to be in way over my head. He was too perfect to ever go for someone as average as myself, so I was completely taken back when later that evening he came down to my room to talk. It had been so long since I had an actual conversation with another person, especially one who made my heart flutter when he would smile or laugh, or gave me butterflies any time he would look at me with an intensity I wasn't used to. That night Kane had me laughing and opening up to him more than I had in the past almost seven years. There was a feeling of safety about him that had allowed me to come out of my shell after being closed off for so long. The first time he had called me beautiful, it made me melt a little inside. I wasn't used to being called beautiful, let alone feeling that way. We talked throughout the night, and when the early hours of dawn came was when he made first contact. He simply laid his hand upon my cheek, and that was my undoing. His touch was gentle, without a hint of aggression. It wasn't a feeling that I was used to. I remember that his face had softened while staring at me, his eyes were intriguing pools of endless blue. I felt something that night that I hadn't felt in years. I felt like the old me, the me that wasn't broken and damaged beyond repair. He had made me realize that night that a part of the person I used to be was still there. I felt hope again for the first time in years. I knew that I was with Stephen, but that night my feelings for Stephen had started to lesson, and my feelings first Kane were just starting. But I also knew that Kane said he wasn't looking for anything more than friendship, that he had been hurt too much in the past to try to find something serious.
© 2020 BleedingHeart
BleedingHeart (author) from Georgia on November 09, 2020:
John Hansen from Queensland Australia on November 08, 2020:
A nice beginning of a story. Good job.