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11 Books You Should Read Before You Start Dating

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Once trapped in a toxic relationship it’s very difficult to break free and even if you do succeed, years of your life are already wasted. These books will help you spot a toxic person before you get involved.

Red Flag: 50 Warning Signs of Narcissistic Seduction

Author: H. G. Tudor

Average goodreads rating: 4.52/5

The narcissist is a skilled predator. His or her actual motives are always concealed, and almost no one can identify the narcissist as he/she chooses a target and then seduces the victim. This book, written by a narcissist, gives you the inside knowledge on fifty red flags that appear when a narcissist is courting you. The author explains what to look for, how the narcissist deceives you, and what the narcissist is actually doing behind the scenes. This book is a must-read for anybody looking for an intimate relationship at any stage of their life so that they know what to look out for. It will enable you to identify the narcissist as he or she seduces you, allowing you to escape them early and avoid the anguish and destruction that usually follows after a narcissistic relationship. A precious piece of guidance!

Prepare to be tortured─ the price you will pay for dating a narcissist

Author: A.B. Jamieson

Average goodreads rating: 3.95/5

We've all heard the word narcissism and the tale of how some Greek deity or other stared into a pool of water and fell in love with himself. But what does it truly mean to date one of the same stated species?

This simple book outlines the usual process from beginning to end, from being utterly amazed and convinced that one has discovered their real soul mate to the games and tests that narcissists play once the partner has been seduced. This is a type of narcissistic guidebook that is useful to have on hand when our mind says one thing but our heart says another.

How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved

Author: Sandra L. Brown

Average goodreads rating: 4.22/5

It's normal to want to be in a loving relationship, but do we know how to choose a psychologically healthy partner? The author discusses the red flags that women should be aware of while they are dating. She discusses eight categories of dangerous males and provides protection techniques as well as a red alert checklist for each. This is the ounce of prevention that might save you from the agonizing pound of cure.

The dangerous men that she lists are:

• The permanent clinger

• The parental seeker

• The emotionally unavailable man

• The man with the hidden life

• The mentally ill man

• The addict

• The abusive or violent man

• The emotional predator

My only gripe is that though the author discusses addicts as dangerous men, she misses pimps and drug dealers who are even more dangerous. Drug dealers and pimps may be particularly exploitative of women participating in the world of illicit substances and sex work, so it makes sense that the author should have included those in her list too and warned readers about them.


Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

Author: Lundy Bancroft

Average goodreads rating:4.23/5

This interesting investigation into what makes abusive men tick is disturbing, but its candid approach to a tough issue makes it a useful resource for both victims and experts. Bancroft, has specialized in domestic abuse for 30 years, and his mastery of the topic and audience is evident on every page of the book. He uses his extensive expertise to help women realize when they are being devalued and controlled, and to find ways to get out of an abusive relationship.

Among the major topics covered are the early warning signals of abuse, myths about abusers, the nature of abusive thinking, the ten abusive personality types, the impact of drugs and alcohol, what can and cannot be changed, and how to safely leave an abusive relationship.

Women Who Love Psychopaths

Author: Sandra L. Brown

Average goodreads rating: 4.23/5

The authors say, “there are at least 6 million men in America with psychopathic traits which means women are very likely to hook-up with psychopaths.” This book is based on the authors' experiences counseling women who were devastated by a romantic relationship with a psychopath, as well as the findings of a worldwide research survey. Readers can determine if they are part of the special at-risk group and learn how to protect themselves from these predators.

Red Flags: How to know he's playing games with you

Author: Brian Nox

Average goodreads rating: 4.15/5

There are several types of men that enjoy playing games with women. Not all of these players can be recognized easily. Some men utilize covert manipulations to keep women engaged even if they desire no future with her.

This book will teach you what sort of guys play games, why they play those games, red signs to look out for, and how to screen out the truly bad boys from your life. You'll discover how to shield your heart against men who don't deserve your attention, much alone your love and commitment.

Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't

Author: Henry Cloud, John Townsend

Average goodreads rating:4.24/5

Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend provide reliable advice for making healthy decisions in relationships ranging from friendship to romance. They assist in identifying the caring people we all require in our lives, as well as those we must learn to avoid. According to Cloud and Townsend, there are three categories of unsafe people:

  • The Abandoners - Those who can start a relationship but cannot finish it. They leave, when things become difficult.
  • The Critics — Constantly critical, they frequently find themselves in one-up/one-down situations with others.
  • The Irresponsibles - They can't take care of themselves; therefore, they can't take care of others.

People that fit into these categories are not safe to be around. They will not be there when you need support, but they will throw truth in your face when all you require is love and grace.

Safe People will teach you how to identify 20 characteristics of relationally harmful people. Learn what makes certain individuals relationally safe and how to prevent toxic relationships. You'll discover facts about yourself that endanger your relationship stability. You'll also learn what to do and what not to do in order to cultivate a balanced, healthy attitude towards relationships. Finding the right kind of people – and becoming the right kind of person – to be safe with, is what Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren’t is all about.

202 Ways to Spot a Psychopath

Author: A.B.Admin

Ave goodreads score: 4.16/5

According to research, around 1% of the population meets the psychopathy criteria. However, because many psychopaths remain undetected, the real number of psychopaths might be far higher. These toxic people are masters at disguise. The most disturbing aspect of psychopathy is its invisibility.

Psychopaths have perfected the skill of disguising their true personality. They're excellent impersonators and actors. But they can only fool us if they first persuade us that they are genuine, honest, and trustworthy. In order to do this, they must look 'normal.'

So, how can you spot a psychopath? It can be done, if you know what to look for.

A.B. Admin discusses the clues that a psychopath can leak so that you can identify a psychopath when you come into contact with one. There are 202 methods discussed in this book to identify a psychopath.

This is a short read. Because this type of knowledge is sometimes required quickly, a brief book that does not ramble on is ideal.

Red Flags of Love Fraud: 10 Signs You're Dating a Sociopath

Author: Donna Andersen

Average goodreads rating: 4.65/5

No, a sociopath isn't usually a psychotic serial killer— that’s just media hype. These individuals are social predators who exploit others for sex,money and attention and they are always on the hunt for victims. This book exposes the techniques of sociopaths who pursue romantic relationships.You'll discover how sociopaths lure their victims, why it's difficult to leave these kinds of relationships, and how to protect yourself.

The data is based on over 2,800 cases gathered by Andersen through Lovefraud.com, as well as the findings of two Internet surveys completed by Lovefraud.com readers who loved and lived with these human predators. It's a must-read for anybody seeking a relationship—or anyone who is confused by the partner they already have.

Dangerous Personalities: An FBI Profiler Shows You How to Identify and Protect Yourself from Harmful People

Author: Joe Navarro

Average goodreads rating: 3.83/5

Navarro, based on his expertise as an FBI criminal profiler, provides readers a thought-provoking course in psychological self-defense by analyzing typical personality features of potentially dangerous individuals. The book examines the four most prevalent criminal personality types—narcissists, predators, the emotionally unstable, and paranoids—and provides crucial distinguishing traits for each.

These explanations are simple but chilling; for example, Navarro describes the predator as one who is "unfettered by emotional attachments, conscience, morals, laws, or ethics," victimizing women and children or, in a corporate context, investors, all while displaying a "flat affect" like the BTK killer. The author includes a detailed checklist to assist readers in determining where a troublesome person could lie on the continuum from “emotional toll” to “emotional, psychological, financial, or physical danger.”

Aside from the obvious caution to keep your distance, there is guidance for coping with each personality type (for example: avoid arguing with the paranoid). Readers will discover how to defend themselves both instantly and long-term, as well as how to recover from the trauma of being in the presence of such a devastating personality type.

Red Flags: How to Know When You're Dating a Loser

Author: Gary Aumiller, Daniel Goldfarb

Average goodreads rating:4/5

Sure, he's handsome, witty, and charming—but there are warning signs early in each failed relationship that foretell the awful news to come. According to studies, most women would try to rationalize these signs, justifying them so they don't interfere with their dream of meeting the perfect man. Unfortunately, these signs are the essence of what Daniel Goldfarb and Gary Aumiller refer to as Red Flags. The challenge then becomes how to recognize and respond to a Red Flag before it is too late.

This first-of-its-kind book will help readers determine a man's all-important loser potential within the first three dates. Each chapter includes a profile of a different loser, a post-date quiz to help you determine if Mr. Right is Mr. Wrong, and important information about the best way to break up with him. Red Flags has all the fun of a magazine quiz combined with the expertise of psychologists who specialize in the techniques used by the police to profile criminals. They know how to spot the rejects--and now you will, too

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