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Valentines Jokes and Riddles

Sheila is the author of the Fiona the Theater Mouse series of children's books, as well as Treasure in a Mountain Cave. She is also a poet.

A Froggy Valentine

Valentines Jokes and Riddles for a Laugh

Valentine's Day is a great time to share a riddle or a joke! This is true whether you have a Valentine sweetie or whether you are alone with your stuffed animals and dolls.

Riddles and jokes will make you laugh, and even if they are not all that funny, they will at least bring a smile to your face.

You can make your own Valentine cards by writing the question of the riddle on the outside of your folded card stock or construction paper and write the answer on the inside. Your hand picked riddle will be at least as funny as the cards in the store. Maybe funnier. And you have the extra bonus of being able to decorate your card, too. This you can do with cut-out hearts, paper doilies, leftover snowflake cutouts, and lots of glitter and paint. You can even add origami hearts like the ones I've provided a link to at the bottom of the page.

If you want to really get wild, smear on some extra red lipstick and kiss the card surface. That should get you some attention. (Will they come after you with a white coat?)

You can create the best Valentine's Day cards you've ever sent. All you need are a few card design ideas and a riddle or two.

Here's the riddle part. Read on and see if one of these riddles strike your funny bone. You can find riddle books and jokes with a Valentine's Day theme on this page, too.


Ella Fitzgerald Sings "My Funny Valentine" - I Love This!

Even though the words in this song sometimes strike me as odd -- who would express her love for someone by insulting him? -- I love the way Ella Fitzgerald sings this classic. I thought to myself, what better way to introduce you to Valentine's Day Jokes and Riddles than to give you a Valentine's anthem sung by the best so you have something to listen to while you read?

So here she is: Ella Fitzgerald. Even if you are funny looking yourself, she will convince you that someone somewhere loves you.

(P.S. Have you seen my bio photo?)

Chocolate Riddle: Indulge in this tasty joke

For each question, choose the best answer for you.

  1. What did the melted chocolate bar say to the marshmallow?
    • Dip in, you goo ball!
    • You make me feel like mud.

Scoring

For each answer you selected, add up the indicated number of points for each of the possible results. Your final result is the possibility with the greatest number of points at the end.

  1. What did the melted chocolate bar say to the marshmallow?
    • Dip in, you goo ball!
      • A Goofy Valentine: +5
      • A Brooding Valentine: 0
    • You make me feel like mud.
      • A Goofy Valentine: 0
      • A Brooding Valentine: +5

This table shows the meaning of each possible result:

A Goofy Valentine

Your Valentine thinks you are a goofy grape.

A Brooding Valentine

You think sad thoughts when you should just lighten up! Celebrate a little!

That's a Cupid Joke

For each question, choose the best answer. The answer key is below.

  1. Did Cupid shoot his arrow at the lovers?
    • No, he didn't have the heart.
    • He tried, but he was a poor shot.

Answer Key

  1. No, he didn't have the heart.

Edible Riddle: Wildlife Gourmands

For each question, choose the best answer. The answer key is below.

  1. What do you like to eat for dinner on Valentine's Day, Deer?
    • Candy hearts
    • Chocolate covered grass.
    • Cheez, fawn, d'you?

Answer Key

  1. Cheez, fawn, d'you?

Salad Riddle I Had to Stop Myself on This One -- So Many Possibilities!

For each question, choose the best answer for you.

  1. What did the love-sick salad chef say to the waiter?
    • Olive you!
    • Lettuce alone!
    • To mate-oh!
    • Cute cumber!

Scoring

Use the scoring guide below to add up your total points based on your answers.

  1. What did the love-sick salad chef say to the waiter?
    • Olive you!: +5 points
    • Lettuce alone!: +3 points
    • To mate-oh!: -3 points
    • Cute cumber!: -3 points

Interpreting Your Score

A score between -3 and -1 means: Where's your sense of respect?

A score between 0 and 1 means: ?

A score between 2 and 3 means: Aren't you rushing things?

A score of 4 means: ?

A score of 5 means: You sweetie, you!

Be My Valentine

© 2011 Sheilamarie

Happy Valentine's Day! - Please Let Me Know You Came By

Sheilamarie (author) from British Columbia on February 22, 2013:

@CoolFool83: Godfather, I'm glad I made you chuckle.

CoolFool83 on February 22, 2013:

Some really funny stuff here.

Sheilamarie (author) from British Columbia on February 07, 2013:

@takkhisa: Yes, they're silly, but fun.

Takkhis on February 07, 2013:

Wow! Fun books. I love reading jokes books.

Sheilamarie (author) from British Columbia on February 05, 2013:

@poutine: Thanks, poutine!

poutine on February 05, 2013:

Fun to read

Cynthia Sylvestermouse from United States on February 12, 2012:

Cute and fun! I love those silly little jokes!

BuckHawkcenter on February 12, 2012:

This was fun! And listening to Ella Fitzgerald sing was marvelous.

tssfacts on February 11, 2012:

It was fun "testing" my brain.

ohcaroline on February 11, 2012:

You've just added another dimension to Valentine's Day. Good subject.

Marie on February 10, 2012:

Your riddles are always very entertaining :) What a great idea for a Valentine's page too!

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