This author is a former teacher of gifted and talented students, where creative thinking and problem solving is a primary focus.
Valentines Day - Redneck Style
Lookin for redneck valentines? Best everlovin' collection of redneck valentines and whitetrash hillbilly sweetheart funny stuff assembled - right here on this here perty redneck page.
Not your traditional Valentine stuff here, this is pure redneck humor, the best of Redneck Valentine's Day. Fans of guys like Jeff Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy will just bust a gut at these redneck valentines.
Funnies and sweet nothings, all collected below just for you. So without further ado ...c'mon in and git yo giggles on with this redneck LOL lovebird humor.
A Redneck Love Poem
Kudzu is green, my dog's name is Blue. I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze, softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.
You move like the bass, which excite me in May, ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway.
You're as graceful as okry Jist a-dancin' in the pan, yo're as fragrant as SunDrop Right out of the can.
You have all yore teeth, for which I am proud, I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions, when you shave yore armpits, well, I'm in hawg heaven, I'm plumb outta my wits.
Them fellers at work They all wanna know, what I did to deserve such a purty, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape Yo're there fer your man, to patch up life's troubles And stick 'em in the can.
Yo're as strong as a four-wheeler racin' through the mud, yet fragile as that sanger Named Naomi Judd.
When you hold me real tight Like a padded gunrack, my life is complete, ain't nuttin' I lack.
And when you get old Like a '57 Chevy, won't put you on blocks and let grass grow up heavy.
Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie With a RC cold drank, we go together Like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth. "Diamonds are forever," they explain, all suave and couth.
But for this man, honey, these will not do, you are too special, you sweet thang you.
I got you a gift, without taste nor odor, better than diamonds it's a new trollin' motor.
Rednecks DO write love poems, ya know.
Roses are red, or are they blue? I don't know. but i do like you.
I love you more than my truck's tires.
Yer more useful than my old rusty pliers.
You cook a good deer and fry a good egg,
just wish you'd shave that hair off your legs.
If you decide not to do it, Pumpkin Face, It's okay, I'll just keep on tellin my buddies, yer up fer a part in Planet of the Apes.
Yer my pride and joys, What a lady! But hows come we KISS only when it's my payday?
When I ran over ya with my truck, you didn't even say "ouch." And you are so cute, when you wipe your boogers under the couch.
I hope we stay together, at least a couple more days- cuz i'm really in love jus like i sais. Happy VD!!!!!
Redneck Valentine Gifts
We picked just a few fun gift ideas for celebrating Valentines Day redneck style. Lots more where these came from. YUP!
Just click any of these to head over yonder to that amazon place, where there's more redneck fun than you can shake a stick at.
Redneck Wedding Photos - Gittin Hitched, Redneck Style.
Poll: Like Redneck Humor?
How to Make Your Redneck Valentine a Dump Cake
Feeling down in the dumps?
This easy Southern Dump Cake recipe will pick you up.
Some southerners swear by this dump cake as a sure way NOT to get dumped, cause your honey will LOVE it.
SO easy, it's a piece of cake to make. No mixing, just dump!
|Prep time||Cook time||Ready in||Yields|
1 hour 10 min
10 - 12
- 1 can can crushed pineapple (in heavy syrup)
- 1 can prepared fruit cherry pie filling
- 1 box yellow cake mix
- 2 sticks of butter or margarine each cut into 12 slices
- some chopped nuts (any kind ya like)
- DUMP CAKE RECIPE:
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Have a 9 by 13-inch baking pan ready.
- Dump undrained pineapple on baking dish and spread it out evenly. Then dump globs of cherry pie filling evenly on top of the pineapple. Sprinkle the cake mix evenly over the cherry and pineapple layers. Cut butter into slices with a butter knife and place slices evenly over cake mix. Sprinkle nuts on top if you're using them. To serve, just scoop cake out with a large spoon like a cobbler, and dump it on a bowl or plate. Serve warm or cold.
- * OPTIONS: Try other fruit variations like blueberry, apple, strawberry, peach. Also try different cake mix flavors and additional toppings, like maybe coconut. Vanilla ice cream makes a delicious topping for dump cake, especially when the cake is still warm.
Rednecks Havin Fun
Check out this FUNNY redneck video, to the tune of "Cotton Eyed Joe".
Ya'll come back now,
Rednecks might also like THIS funny place:
- Retro Rednecks
Rednecks are retro. You betcha. Retro is something outdated that has become popular once again. And to a redneck there ain't NOTHING that's outdated.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2011 Carolan Ross
Redneck Guestbook - Leave a redneck love note, or just a Howdy Ya'll.
HillBilly1985 on May 03, 2014:
Redneck humor, Git Er Did!
Aunt-Mollie on February 14, 2013:
Really funny! HAPPY VALENTINES DAY.
JoshK47 on February 16, 2012:
Definitely got a chuckle here - thanks for sharing! :)
Joan4 on February 03, 2012:
oh that's my kind of poetry!
ohcaroline on February 24, 2011:
That certainly is a different kind of Valentine's celebration.