I have learned a great deal about cognitive therapy techniques as a way to make changes in my own life.
Whether the special day is preset, such as birthdays, New Years, Valentines Day, etc, don’t wait for others to provide that special something to you. Some may lavish in the ability to have others that they know will do such special things. But some of us may find that relying on, or waiting for others to make us feel special, just leads to disappointment and not feeling special at all.
Either way, why should we feel the need to wait for others to form these special days for us? Why do we need to place getting special treatment in the hands of others? Sure, it’s nice when others let us know that we are thought of as a priority to them; but why not take responsibility for providing ourselves with that sense of importance? After all, the one who should love us the most, and with whom we should be most important to, is us.
How I came to recognize this idea
On one of my birthdays, I was feeling very down because no one provided me with any recognition on my special day. On this day, I felt like I wasn’t remembered by anyone and I moped around for most of this day. Then, it dawned on me that I don’t need anyone else other than myself to make my day special. So, I set out to give myself my own special day and it turned out to better than any other birthday. The reason why was because I did the activities and got things that I really enjoyed; it was all on my own terms. It also turned out that my own company was pretty good and I knew myself better than anyone else. So, the love I showed myself was the most special. Since then, I have never felt down again when I don’t get that special treatment from others on those occasions. Because I can do this for myself!
Here are some ideas to provide a treat yourself for making your own special days spectacular and all about you.
Take Extra Care of You
Treat yourself to some extra “you time” for the day. For me, this simply means taking time to lavish myself in special treatments, such as a relaxing scented bath and putting extra time into my appearance and attire for the day. If you’re like me, this simple act of providing yourself with some extra care and attention is a pleasant treatment for your special day. You’d be surprised how some time just for yourself can help you unwind and make you feel important. If you have the budget to do so, you could choose to do this by treating yourself to a spa day.
Get Yourself a Bouquet
Nothing says “you’re special” like a bouquet of your favorite flowers. I’ve heard that guys enjoy getting flowers too. Why not? They are pretty and smell nice, which can be pleasing to your senses. So go pick yourself out a bouquet of flowers and take them home or to your workplace to enjoy.
If you want to go a bit flashier with this, you can treat yourself by ordering a bouquet and have them sent to you. You could also surround yourself with other fun bouquet arrangement types, such as a bunch of balloons or other creative arrangements that you would enjoy seeing and that would brighten your day!
Get yourself your favorite treat. Maybe that would be your favorite candy, ice cream, specialized coffee, baked goods, even your own birthday cake or Valentines Day goodies. You can also treat yourself to your favorite meal out or a drink. If you feel uncomfortable dining out alone, take the initiative to invite someone to share your special time with, order dine-in, or even make your favorite dish to eat at home.
Cards & Gifts
Why not get a card for yourself? Find a card that makes you smile and feel special or write a note or poem to yourself reminding yourself of your good qualities. Showing such appreciation and care to ourselves means a lot more than most of us may realize and most don't consider.
Get yourself a gift that you would enjoy. Anything from your favorite self-care products, massage kits, books, an outfit, a tech gadget; whatever it may be that you would enjoy and that also fits into your budget.
Stay In or Go Out; Do What You Enjoy!
Go see a movie that you’d really like to see, or rent your favorite movie and settle in complete comfort with your favorite treat at home. Enjoy the pleasures that are your own and that others may not think about, to fill your special day with even if they try.
Go on a day trip. Whether you like to visit the downtown stores, head out to the countryside, spend time at a park/local gardens, go to a museum, head to the beach or spend time in the mountains. Think of where you feel most peaceful and happy and make a date with yourself to go there.
Grab a Friend
Be willing to initiate a special day with a friend. Other people may not know what you’d like to do on your special day and often, in the busy-ness their our own routines, days have a tendency to sneak up and leave many totally unprepared to provide something unique and special. Presenting a suggestion to them may be a great way to treat yourself by sharing your time with those you greatly enjoy being in company with, without over-burdening them with expectations or dealing with disappointments.
Any Day Can Be a Special Day
You don’t need to wait for your birthday, Valentines Day, or the few preset special days per year to do something special for yourself. Why not treat yourself special on a more regular basis? Every now and then, choose one or two special ideas simply to brighten your day, make yourself smile and to remind yourself that you are indeed special.
Treat Yourself Responsibly!
My final note to this: Treating yourself special still requires that you live within your budgeting means and hold to responsible limits. You want to enjoy your special day today to carry that beyond without creating hardship or regrets. After all, being responsible is still an important part of self-care.
- Finding Happiness Within to Be Truly Happy
In a world filled with commercialism, leading people to believe that external factors are what lead to finding happiness, it can be difficult to slow down and consider the facts behind such a belief.
- Relationship Addiction; Seeking Value from Others
Some people tend to go through life with the belief that their value is derived from their relationships and through approval from others. All the while, they tend to lack value and approval of themselves.
- Being Optimistic through Adversity
People who are optimists manage to maintain a positive outlook, even during the most difficult times. Those who are optimistic are more likely than pessimists to be active problem solvers and to seek information that can help them.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2013 Mary Roark
Mary Roark (author) from Boise area, Idaho on August 31, 2013:
billybuc, you are so right, that the value, or lack of value, that we give ourselves does come through in the value we are able to provide to others. You can't help others thrive if you're not thriving yourself!
I always appreciate your visits. Thank you!
Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on August 30, 2013:
It took me a long time as well, Mary, but now that I have grasped this concept I am full speed ahead. How can I be of any value to others if I do not value myself? Duh!
Have a great weekend Mary. I'm going to be back; I love your message of life.
Mary Roark (author) from Boise area, Idaho on August 24, 2013:
It is so great to hear your experience with treating yourself on special days. I love hearing you've also experienced that doing so is a win, win situation for all involved. That's a very good point!
Denise W Anderson from Bismarck, North Dakota on August 23, 2013:
I, too, used to be terribly disappointed when my loved ones did not do something nice for me on my special days. It took a very difficult one for me to realize that I didn't have to wait, now, I plan in advance, purchase most of my own gifts, and create fun experiences with others on a regular basis. I am a lot happier as a person, and my loved ones are less stressed because they don't disappoint me. This is a great idea!
Mary Roark (author) from Boise area, Idaho on January 31, 2013:
Thank you very much Glimmer. It lifts my spirits to hear that others are doing things like this for themselves. :o)
Claudia Mitchell on January 31, 2013:
I do this every once in a while. It really lifts my spirits if I am feeling down. Love this hub. Up and awesome
Mary Roark (author) from Boise area, Idaho on January 24, 2013:
Thank you Billy. It took me way to long to realize that I'm worth being treated special... especially from myself. If I don't treat myself as worthy, then I end up passing that message on to others.
Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on January 24, 2013:
I love the premise behind this hub....we are all worth it! Great suggestions, Mary, but more importantly is the message that we all deserve to be treated as special.