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New Year's Resolutions with a Twist

Linda (Kaywood) Bilyeu is a self-published author. Her books are available on Amazon. She writes from the heart—there is no other way.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

Ring in the New Year...

Out with the old, in with the new. Another New Year is upon us. It's time to reminisce about the previous year and look forward to another New Year. It's time to make a New Year's Resolution. Uh oh. Not that again.

We could select from the usual choices:

  • Good health
  • Good wealth
  • To find a mate
  • To lose some weight
  • Find a new friend
  • Start a new trend
  • Write a book
  • Become a better cook
  • To get a new job that you enjoy
  • To stop smoking or drinking, "oh boy!"

Blah, blah, blah. The list continues. How many of you actually commit to your New Year resolution? Hardly anyone sticks to it. We might try, OK, many of you do try. We get gym memberships and that lasts a couple of weeks, until you realize sweating isn't your style.

We buy patches and/or nicotine gum to quit smoking. We vow to be a better person.

Last year my New Year's Resolution wasn't successful. I decided to start drinking. Yes, I was prepared to numb my sense of being and become a drunk. My resolution lasted 3 hours. On the morning of New Year's Day I realized it just wasn't worth it. I truly felt like crap! My resolution failed within hours of the New Year!

This year I decided to add a twist. I'm going to pick a resolution that's a bit off the wall. I intend to succeed. I'm not sure what my resolution is yet, but I'm going to share my ideas with you.

Who knows maybe you will finally have a successful New Year's Resolution!

new-year-resolutions-with-a-twist

New Year Resolution ideas...

  • Be a grouch. They say nice guys always finish last, so why be nice? Be mean. See how far that gets you. When someone asks, "How you doin'?" say to them "Do you really care how I'm doing?" I bet they don't ask you the same question twice.
  • Be a pessimist. Where has being optimistic got you? Is your life better due to having a positive nature? Probably not. Go ahead, be your negative self. Chances are by the end of the year there won't be anyone left in your life to tell you how miserable you made them.
  • Start smoking. Yes, the Surgeon General states that smoking is hazardous to your health, but how much of this data is actually factual. Granted thousands of people a year are diagnosed with lung cancer and that could put a cramp in your style. Yet, the choice is yours.
  • Start drinking. Your liver might not appreciate it, but you might view live in a different perspective and decide hitting the booze is just what you needed. I heard over time you begin to create your own remedies for hangovers.
  • Make the choice to be the boss. Tell your boss that you are tired of his "rules and regulations" and you are ready to take the reins back. Be prepared to live off of unemployment for a wee bit.
  • Gain weight. Heart disease and diabetes might be in your near future, but wouldn't it be worth it to eat whatever you want and never have to exercise again. Just forget about that gym membership you won't be using again this year either.
  • Vow to become the neighborhood Peeping Tom. Treat yourself to a telescope and peep at your neighbors on a daily basis. Make sure you have a back-up plan for a new residence once you are caught.
  • Become one with Road Rage. Flip the bird, honk your horn, tailgate all fellow drivers on the road. Think of the excitement and the adrenaline rush you will have. Word of caution: Be sure your vehicle is bullet-proof and constructed from titanium.
  • Promise yourself to go into debt this year. Spend beyond your means. Purchase frivilious materialistic items that you could do without, but buy them because your friends or neighbors have them. Go so far into debt that you won't be able to climb out, but consider all those new toys you have to play with. You might want to consider disconnecting your phone before the debt collectors begin to call.
  • Be more assertive. The next time your wife makes a demand or request. "Just say no." Tell her you've had enough of her honey-do lists and you want more time to watch sports on the tube, go fishing or just scratch yourself. No more words are needed. I wish you good luck.
  • Be self-centered. Yes, the world could revolve around you! Yes, it could be all about you. Why think of others? Do they go out of their way for you? Probably not. Wear your new badge proudly, "It's All About Me." Prepare to live a lonely existence since self-centered people aren't well liked.
  • Start gambling. If you've already started, don't stop! You never know when you will strike it rich. If you really think about it does your kid really need those new shoes? No, duct tape works wonders on holding shoes together. Do you really need to save for a rainy day? Not if you live in the desert. How often does it rain there? So go ahead and buy that extra lottery ticket or roll those dice. Chances are you will get lucky one day. Or eventually your luck will just run out.
  • Be tardy. What's so important about being on time. For instance, doctors are always late and they are doing well for themselves. So forget about setting alarms, keep others waiting, you are in charge of pissing people off now.
  • Find a mate. Register with an online dating service. Use a fake photo. Present yourself as a god or goddess. When reality hits, consider being your true self. One should never have to look for a mate. It'll happen when you least expect it.
  • Commit to going to church each Sunday. Dress in your finest clothes and worship along with the congregation. Be cordial, mingle and leave a donation to show your appreciation for the service. Try your best not to gossip about fellow worshippers. Try your best not to judge others. Most of all try your best to practice what is preached.
  • How about a year of being lazy? Yes, you could resolute to being lazy, if you aren't already. You work your tail off each year and have nothing to show for it. You don't feel appreciated and you want to be a bit of a slacker. By all means, go right ahead. Be careful of all those doors, you never know where they might hit you.

I hope my ideas helped you select, or not select a New Year's Resolution. We all have choices to make in our lives. Some of us make the right choice, some of us don't. We live and learn.

Happy New Year - Fireworks

Happy New Year - Fireworks

Disclaimer...

These resolutions don't apply to everyone. Some might be a bit far fetched and out of your league. Then again you might be ready for a change.

Keep in mind that change is good for you at times. You might be a bit surprised at how well you adapt to a new way of thinking or lifestyle change.

You might decide to go the traditional route and that's just fine. Go ahead and lose weight, stop smoking and drinking...see where that gets you.

Be sure and keep us posted on your progress no matter which resolution you might select.

Best wishes for you a Happy New Year and may all your dreams come true.

Auld Lang Syne - It's A Wonderful Life

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Fireworks Celebration

© 2012 Linda Bilyeu

Comments

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on January 04, 2016:

Happy 2016 shanmarie!

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on January 04, 2016:

Much appreciated, Nellie! :)

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on January 04, 2016:

Thank you, SAA! Happy 2016!

Nellieanna Hay from TEXAS on January 04, 2016:

So amusing, Linda! Thank you, Martie, for pointing me in this direction. I may work on the being lazy one! ;) Or not. . . You are such a good writer~ !

Martie Coetser from South Africa on January 04, 2016:

This is so-so funny. I had to share it (again)!

Shannon Henry from Texas on January 04, 2016:

Thanks to Martie for sharing this one on FB and thanks to you for writing it. Exactly what I needed this morning!

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 31, 2015:

Happy New Year 2016

Nithya Venkat from Dubai on December 28, 2014:

Enjoyed reading and love your sense of humor. I have decided not to make any resolutions!

Mary Hyatt from Florida on December 27, 2014:

Since I have the distinction of being a Senior Citizen, I can do a lot of this stuff and get away with it, cause people feel sorry for me. They just blame the way I act on my age, and chalk it up to senility!

I have not made any resolutions, and I don't intend to, either!

Linda, I hope you have a wonderful 2015. Stay the way you are, girl!

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 26, 2014:

Way to go, Love Doc! Not many people carry through with their resolutions, so bravo to you! I didn't make any resolutions so I'm ahead of 2014. I'm considering making one for 2015. A year of "Out with the old and in with the new" around my home...I haven't changed anything in quite a while and it's time.

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 26, 2014:

That would be a NO, Effer. Let's shoot for something that doesn't require bail money. :)

lovedoctor926 on December 26, 2014:

I followed through with my New Years resolution last year of not drinking regular coke anymore. I do drink Coke Zero every so often but nothing compared to a regular coca-cola. Great hub! voted up funny!

Suzie from Carson City on December 26, 2014:

That's a scary enough thought! It's liable to be anything, GF. Do you have bail money saved?

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 26, 2014:

Hi Effer! Another New Year will soon be upon us...I wonder what trouble we will get into for 2015? ;)

Suzie from Carson City on December 26, 2014:

Well GF...I commented on this CRAZY hub 2 yrs ago...but where was I last year? Hmmmmm very strange. You make me laugh, which of course is part of your job description as my SFAM!...LOLLOLOLL

I'll be talking to you several times, I'm sure before the New Year's Eve.....so I can tell you what resolutions I won't be making this year!

Hugs........The Effer

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 26, 2014:

It's almost time to welcome in the New Year of 2015!

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 27, 2013:

Happy New Year 2014 - Chitrangada!

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 27, 2013:

Hey Martie, We'll just let them figure that out for themselves! :)

Happy New Year SAA!

Chitrangada Sharan from New Delhi, India on December 27, 2013:

Very interesting hub with lot of humour! An enjoyable read indeed!

New year resolutions are made to be broken. Even I do make resolutions but hardly keep them for a week.

Happy New Year 2014!

Martie Coetser from South Africa on December 26, 2013:

Hahaha....

Well, I actually tried some of your suggestions, and believe it or not, with great success.

But I think you have to emphasize that they could only be successful after your 50th birthday.... Now this will make the young look forward to their autumn and winter years, when all pretentiousness just fall to the ground....

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 26, 2013:

Hi Nell, I did enjoy adding the "twist!" :)

Happy New Year to you!!

Nell Rose from England on December 26, 2013:

LOL! now these are great Linda! Yep to the alcohol, and maybe most of the others too! its funny how the bad things for you are so much easier to do than the good! lol! Have a wonderful New Year!

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 26, 2013:

Happy New Year 2014!

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on January 06, 2013:

Happy New Year TT. Wishing you luck with your 2013 Mission :)

Terrye Toombs from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. on January 05, 2013:

My New Years resolution was to be a b*tch. For the sole reason that being nice has gotten me...exactly nowhere. So, this is the Year of the B*tch. :) Loved your ideas, Sunshine!

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on January 01, 2013:

Happy New Year Saloca and Healthylife! Wishing you an awesome 2013.

healthylife2 on January 01, 2013:

Most of those resolutions on that list I made the minute I finished chemo except the smoking one and the new mate because one was enough. Thanks for the entertainment!

Sarah Campbell from Liverpool, UK on January 01, 2013:

Great suggestions, they'd certainly make for an interesting year ahead!

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 31, 2012:

Happy New Year!!!

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 31, 2012:

CrisSp ~ Victoria ~ Michelle ~ Stephanie ~ Bill ... Wishing you all a Happy and Healthy 2013.

Stephanie Henkel from USA on December 30, 2012:

These are all so good I hardly know where to start...hmmm...maybe with the drinking since it's New Year's Eve tomorrow! But then I did have a little road rage yesterday when someone nearly sideswiped us on I-95. I think he read my lips when I said some bad words... :)

Thanks for sharing your wonderful sense of humor with us! Happy New Year!

Bill De Giulio from Massachusetts on December 30, 2012:

I'm sitting here trying to figure out what my resolution for the new year should be and now I have plenty of options. This should keep me laughing right up until the ball drops. Have a happy and healthy New year :)

Michelle Liew from Singapore on December 30, 2012:

Linda, coming in for a taste of the twist and to share again! Happy New Year to you and the family!

Victoria Lynn from Arkansas, USA on December 30, 2012:

So funny! I think I could actually keep several of these. I'll pick a few! Thanks for the list! :-) Many votes!

CrisSp from Sky Is The Limit Adventure on December 30, 2012:

This is phenomenal! I snort while reading, Lol! I don't do any resolutions, I find solutions instead!

This is indeed, a happy read. Thank you my sunshine.

Voting up, funny and absolutely sharing the twist! Happy New Year!

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 30, 2012:

dghbrh, Thank you for stopping by and for your kind wishes. I wish the best for you also :)

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 30, 2012:

Ish, Thank you for sharing! I appreciate it. Wishing you the best, always!!

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 30, 2012:

nenfea, by all means think about yourself as often as you want. It seems to work for some people. For awhile at least. Happy New Year!

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 30, 2012:

Happy New Year Dancilla!

deergha from ...... a place beyond now and beyond here !!! on December 30, 2012:

Wow LOL.......what a easy way to start the year laughing out and rolling on floor literally dear sunshine.................many thanks for sharing this one. happy new year to you dear.....all votes up and sharing.

Ishwaryaa Dhandapani from Chennai, India on December 30, 2012:

A hilarious hub! I enjoyed reading your humorous list of resolutions! Way to go!

Happy New Year to you & your family!

Thanks for SHARING. Funny & Awesome. Voted up & shared on Facebook

Olivia on December 29, 2012:

Haha, I really enjoyed this post. I think the idea of resolving to take more time to think about ME is a good idea.

Priscilla from El Paso on December 29, 2012:

These really made me laugh. Great hub!

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 29, 2012:

Hi HWM, I couldn't agree more. Laugh until it hurts and then laugh some more! :)

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 29, 2012:

Hi LaLiz! I'm also so ready for that ball to fall. Bring on 2013. Woohoo! Happy New Year to YOU!

Ruth R. Martin from Everywhere Online ~ Fingerlakes ~ Upstate New York on December 29, 2012:

They say laughing is good for your health - thanks for being such a great dose of health to me! Keep it up - we all need to losen up and have a moment of nothing but pure fun every now and then. But I'd rather have it now, not then!

LaThing from From a World Within, USA on December 29, 2012:

Hellloooo, sweet Sunshine!! Love your ideas.... Road Rage, I am in! Being lazy for the whole year, count me in!! Woohoo.... I am all set for the new year! LET THE BALL FALL ......

Thoroughly enjoyed it! You are one hilarious List Lady :)

Voting up and everything!

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 27, 2012:

SAA, You have earned a well-deserved applause indeed!!! Wishing you a Mr. B a wonderful 2013. You go girl :))

Martie Coetser from South Africa on December 27, 2012:

Oh my, Linda, you've got me ROFLMAO! As usual!

Now seeing that you can't stick to your New Years resolutions, the chances are 99,9% that you'll stay the lovely Sunshine you are.

BTW, I am near perfect. I do stick to my resolutions. But just because they are achievable. Beginning 2012 one of them was indeed to find a suitable partner - after all, it was a leap year. And where else as on a dating site would I find one? Come on, we are living in the 21st century. I refused online chatting, demanded immediate eye-to-eye interaction. (You see, I've learned all lessons there are to learn in CyberSpace.) Had seven 'interviews' with punks, and, of course, in a restaurant, keeping my address a secret. Then came Number Eight - whalla, my perfect match.

My resolution for 2013 is to be happier as ever before and to allow nobody to steal my peace and joy. And that's that.

So you see, Sunshine, I am one of the 23% who is near perfect.

Do I hear a well-deserved applause?

Lol!

(Voted up, funny, fantastic and fabulous :) (((xxxx)))

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 25, 2012:

Mary ~ Jen ~ Expert ... Your comments are appreciated! Wishing you the best on 2013.

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 25, 2012:

Maria, Leisure wear and laced lemonade! When do we start? I'm all for it!

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 25, 2012:

Vinaya ~ LoveDoc ... Thank you for your wishes and Happy New Year to you also!

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 25, 2012:

Snurre, I'm glad being self-centered worked out well for you. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do for yourself. Wishing you the best for the new year. Thank you for sharing!

Stanley Soman from New York on December 25, 2012:

Florida is treating you too nice, that explains this

jenbeach21 from Orlando, FL on December 23, 2012:

Too funny! I already have the road rage resolution down:)

Mary Craig from New York on December 23, 2012:

I think I know the gal who had these resolutions last year ;) Great job Linda....maybe it'll boost us into the good stuff.

Voted up, useful, and funny.

Maria Jordan from Jeffersonville PA on December 22, 2012:

Well, I resolve to ... oh, not a dang thing.

Linda, let's lounge around in leisure wear with laced lemonade?! You are my kinda lady pal!

I needed to break up some of my reading with some light-hearted laughs. In response to Honey BB's challenge today, this is the 21st of 26 hubs I intend to read.

This one is dedicated to Avielle Richman (10-17-06) and may her sweet soul rest in peace.

Love, MM

lovedoctor926 on December 21, 2012:

You're so funny! It's too early to wish you a Happy New Year.

Vinaya Ghimire from Nepal on December 21, 2012:

Sunshine,

Thanks for always sowing positive vibes in me.

Merry Christmas and a very Happy New year.

Snurre on December 21, 2012:

Hee hee hee! At the turn of 2011 into 2012 I had one one New Year resolution - to stop being nice to everyone and start being nice to myself instead. And to do what I want. On the large scale, I managed to make this work. As a result I got out of a failed marriage, advanced in my career and travelled to a lot of nice places. Also joined a band where I enjoy playing lots of positive Scottish music. So your resolution to be self-centered is definitely a worthwhile thing.

Voted and shared :)

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 20, 2012:

Hi b. I agree! Eat, drink and be merry! Happy 2013 to us!

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 20, 2012:

Haha Jools! You are so funny! Keep us posted on your progress in 2013.

b. Malin on December 16, 2012:

Hi Sunshine,

This was such a Fun Read. A real Belly Laugh...Speaking of Bellies...Who cares... Lets just Eat like little Piggies and NOT worry how we look, bathe, or Smell. What a Hoot! It will really be a "HAPPY NEW YEAR"!

Jools Hogg from North-East UK on December 16, 2012:

After reading this, I feel like I am too dull! I am going to be mean on 1st January and have already entered up my 'resolution mood' for the next 364 days after that - mean, smokin', plastered, angry, flatulent (in public), dirty, antsy, sweary, inappropriately dressed, loud, flatulent (again, why am I 'repeating' myself so much?), wild, bored with people, plastered.....great hub hun! :o)

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 15, 2012:

Hi Alocsin and Nell, I did mention these resolutions came with a twist, didn't I? They are effortless ideas! :)

Nell Rose from England on December 14, 2012:

Oh my goodness, Haha! brilliant! I am going to be lazy, drink get completely into debt, um what else? great ideas linda, and so easy to do!

Aurelio Locsin from Orange County, CA on December 14, 2012:

The funny thing about your list is that no effort is required to make or maintain these resolutions. They all seem to happen every year, no matter what. Voting this Up and Funny.

lovedoctor926 on December 13, 2012:

Thanks sunshine:)

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 13, 2012:

Shauna! No showers, too funny! I'm thinking many people do that already without it being a resolution! Haha!

Hi Diana! Go Google! :)

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 13, 2012:

I agree Glimmer. Why take another chance? Happy New Year!

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 13, 2012:

I wish you good luck with your 2013 goals LoveDoc! :)

Dianna Mendez on December 13, 2012:

Funny! I am not going to make any resolutions this year - wait, is that one already? This one should hit the top list on google!

Shauna L Bowling from Central Florida on December 13, 2012:

Linda, Linda, Linda! I think this year I'll save on soap and water. Just think, no shower, no clean clothes. I'll just lie around and stink up the place!

Seriously, this was funny. Thanx for the laugh? BTW, I never make New Year's Resolutions. If I haven't resolved throughout the year, what makes me think I'll change my mind in a day?

Claudia Porter on December 12, 2012:

This was great fun! I gave up resolutions long ago when the disappointment of not meeting them got me down. Thanks for making me smile!

lovedoctor926 on December 12, 2012:

"Vow to become the neighborhood Peeping Tom. Treat yourself to a telescope and peep at your neighbors on a daily basis. Make sure you have a back-up plan for a new residence once you are caught."

You're so funny! Actually, I'm thinking of starting my own business this upcoming year and also writing my first book. Good health and wealth definitely.

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 12, 2012:

Mary615, I look forward to hear about the success of your resolutions during 2013. U go girl.

Epus, Good luck with the drinking. Your liver would appreciate it. We all have our vices. Don't sweat it.

tlpoague, Very funny! Sounds like something I would do to my family, but I wouldn't be joking! Haha!

Happy New Year to Y'all.

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 12, 2012:

travmaj, Wishing you an adventure filled 2013 :)

molometer, be sure and keep us posted on your resolutions!

Sunnie, Feel free to enjoy a lazy 2013. You have deserved it! ;)

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 12, 2012:

Mhatter99, Wishing you a limerick filled 2013.

FullofLoveSites, Very true a pessimist is never disappointed. Haha!

accordingtomomma, You go girl. Wishing you much success :)

drbj, I'm pleased yet not surprised that you have got the point of these New Year's Resolutions :)

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 12, 2012:

Rajan Jolly, Thank you for adding to the fun!

ARUN KANTI, Your thoughts are appreciated. Thank you for posting.

Jeannieinabottle, I'm glad you like these New Years Resolutions! Enjoy 2013!

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 12, 2012:

Malkie Wersba, I hope your idea comes true! Very good!

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 12, 2012:

Michelle, By all means you deserve a lazy year. I hope you enjoy it! :)

Tammy on December 11, 2012:

I have always been one of those people that never found the knack for smoking or drinking. (I use to claim it was because I didn't see the fun in it.) Once I hit my late 30's, I decided to surprise my hubby one day by walking out to the garage with a cancer stick in one hand and a glass of bubbly in the other. My hubby asked what I was doing. I told him that if you can't beat them, join them. I figured I was old enough to chose what I wanted to do and was tired of certain people telling me I couldn't do something. (I never did take up either habit, but enjoyed the surprised look on his face.) I am not sure who had the bigger stroke of me being so out of character, my kids or the hubby.

Loved your resolutions! I may have to try on a few others this year.

P.S. Thanks for the laugh!

Epus Gren from Philippines on December 11, 2012:

I am taking your prosposals too:

Good health

Good wealth

To lose some weight

To get a new job that you enjoy

To stop drinking (my struggle) GRRR!!!

:) Pray with guys that I may fulfill these things next year.

Mary Hyatt from Florida on December 11, 2012:

I would have a better chance of keeping my resolutions if I followed your list. I never keep mine....I expect too much of me, and I'm never going to be perfect anyway!

I love your resolutions!

Sunnie Day on December 11, 2012:

Oh Sunshine this was so funny! Resolutions in reverse...Brilliant! I may just start early so I can have a running start...oh wait I am to be lazy...so I will just take my time...

Thanks for the smiles

Sunnie

Micheal from United Kingdom on December 11, 2012:

I love this, it had me in stitches.

Good health

Good wealth

To find a mate

To lose some weight

To get a new job that you enjoy

To stop smoking or drinking, "oh boy!"

Think I'll have 'all of the above' :)

Michael

travmaj from australia on December 10, 2012:

count me in! Such a change from the goody stuff we usually choose and forget by Jan 2nd. This doesn't look too difficult at all. Such fun - thanks for this - really made me laugh.

drbj and sherry from south Florida on December 10, 2012:

Thank you, Linda, for compiling this great list of innovative and compelling resolutions,

Whenever I decide to live all by myself without family or friends, these will be my solutions.

Jen Eggleston from Wisconsin on December 10, 2012:

lmao awesome - I think I might resolve to some of these just in the hope that they won't come true since resolutions so rarely DO come true. I resolve to gain weight, spend more money, be truly lazy and accomplish nothing.

FullOfLoveSites from United States on December 10, 2012:

It's actually nice to be a pessimist. That way you won't be disappointed! Hehehe. :)

Martin Kloess from San Francisco on December 09, 2012:

Thank you for these "great" resolutions. Good luck to us all.

Jeannie Marie from Baltimore, MD on December 09, 2012:

Finally! Some New Year's resolutions I actually want to do! Sure, I might not make it to 2014 in good condition, but who cares? These are great. :-)

ARUN KANTI CHATTERJEE from KOLKATA on December 09, 2012:

I am tempted to quote a small child’s resolution in his own way:

Come new year

I shall further be senior

I shall obey my parents

Who are my best friends

I shall play cricket

With deuce ball, bat and wicket

I shall do my own jobs

Without help from others

I shall wake up early

To start the day fairly

I shall write rhymes and

Draw beautiful pictures

For your happiness and cheers

Thanks for the funny hub.

Rajan Singh Jolly from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar, INDIA. on December 09, 2012:

Very Linda like! Love these twisty ones. It would be fun to incorporate just one of these into this year's resolutions and watch!

Voted up and funny.

17 & Due on Shavuot from Modesto, CA on December 09, 2012:

Hilarious!!! I like taking money from charities (hopefully that means that we'll all give a little more ;)

Michelle Liew from Singapore on December 09, 2012:

I'd like to have a year of being lazy!! Well done, Linda!

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 09, 2012:

Hi Vinaya, 9 New Years in one year! Wow! That's a lot of resolutions! :)

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 09, 2012:

Hey Lisa! I'll take $20 on 25 black! Also always bet against the dealer. Have fun at the casino! :)

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 09, 2012:

Thank you Bill, Daisy, Janine and Audra for your comments! :)

Linda Bilyeu (author) from Orlando, FL on December 09, 2012:

Way to go Stoker with your 5K. I remember cheering you on from my mind, it must have worked! :)

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