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Naughty Elf on the Shelf Ideas: Good Elf Gone Bad

FlourishAnyway is an I/O psychologist and parent with a slapstick sense of humor.

This Is so Wrong! Where Did Santa Get This Elf?

The naughty Elf On the Shelf upskirts the angel.  Now you know why the Frosty the Snowman ornament is always smiling so broadly.  (He's got the best seat in the house.)

The naughty Elf On the Shelf upskirts the angel. Now you know why the Frosty the Snowman ornament is always smiling so broadly. (He's got the best seat in the house.)

Is Santa Close to Retirement? Outsourcing Hits the North Pole

You can keep a secret, can't you? I didn't think so. I guess I'll tell you anyway.

Santa's been at this whole gift giving thing a long time, you know. Frankly, he has me worried. Between job burnout, all those fattening Christmas cookies, and his age—seriously, how old is he?—he could be pulling a retirement surprise on us any day now. Then where would we be?

You can see the writing on the wall because Santa's hired a sidekick less than half his age. (Or could the reindeer be trying to force him out? They are very cliquish, you know, and I hear that Blitzen is a real bully.)

Santa, Please Don't Retire! We Need You!

Santa, don't go anywhere.  We need you!

Santa, don't go anywhere. We need you!

Santa's HR Elf Didn't Check this Elf's References

The jolly old fellow used to do all the research himself on which children were good or bad. But now it looks like he's outsourced those crucial duties to some young intern, for Pete's sake.

Or rather, Santa has had his HR elf do the hiring for him. I'm not even sure HR checked references or qualifications on this intern fellow. I'm guessing the HR elf just hired someone he knew. (You know how those elves are—always sticking together.)

It was bound to happen.  If you don't check references, a bad elf is bound to slip through.  This one plays with knives.

It was bound to happen. If you don't check references, a bad elf is bound to slip through. This one plays with knives.

Santa Has Dialed Down His Workload

Santa is calling his young sidekick the "Elf On the Shelf." He assigned the kid the duties of spying on girls' and boys' behavior during the all-important weeks leading up to Christmas. That's when children come down with a bad case of the "gimmes." I really think the jolly old guy has just about had enough.

Each night, Santa's intern reports back to him on whether the kiddies have been naughty or nice. That's right, Santa has dialed down his workload. He's left this crucial work duty to this young hack.

For Jolly Saint Nick, There's No Hiding. Will He Be Retiring?

Santa can't even visit Waffle House without being photographed by the paparazzi.  The word on the street is that he is looking to retire and move to a warmer location.

Santa can't even visit Waffle House without being photographed by the paparazzi. The word on the street is that he is looking to retire and move to a warmer location.

Okay, Here's the Scoop, but You Didn't Hear It from Me ...

Rumor is this Shelf Elf is not cut out for his job. As in candy cane clueless.

Now, North Pole Internal Investigations has gotten involved and they are looking into whether he is doing his job appropriately. You didn't hear this from me, got it?

I've obtained a copy of their secret file, full of undercover photos. With all his pranks, this guy is making a mockery of the "nice and naughty" list. If you ask me, he's had too much eggnog and is behaving like a hohoho.

Don't tell a soul, but I think this Christmas elf has gone bad. Just get a load of some of the things I saw.

Santa's New Sidekick: Acting like a Hohoho

Yep, this is him!

Yep, this is him!

What Is Elf On the Shelf?

While Carol Aebersold was growing up, she enjoyed a Christmas tradition involving a hide-and-seek pixie elf.1 The red-clad elf was Santa's eyes and ears during the busy holiday season, watching over her and reporting back to Santa each night. It was with elf assistance that Santa kept on top of his Nice and Naughty list for girls and boys.

In 2005, Aebersold co-authored the book Elf on the Shelf and has since sold over 6 million copies.2 Children "adopt" the elves, name them and register them online. Their elf often appears between Thanksgiving and Christmas and magically appears in a new spot each morning. Often, the elf is involved in a humorous prank. Parents commonly post photos on social media sites like Facebook. Given the popularity of the elf, inappropriate elf photos have become popular.

The Elf On the Shelf is now adding a birthday edition. A Hasbro employee has created a Jewish spinoff to the elf, called Mensch on a Bench3 A mensch is a good and honorable person.

Cookies and Cocoa with an Ugly Twist

These photos are truly shocking. Our little elf friend must have a deep disdain for not only his job but also the families he serves.

We all get a case of the "Hershey squirts" from time to time, but you and I don't go spreading the love, so to speak. North Pole Internal Investigations caught him decorating peanut butter cookies with his ... ahem ... stomach ills.

Almost as disturbing, he invited a nice family of Russian dolls over for hot cocoa then served it to them out of a neti pot! Yes, this is the same device that serves as a nasal douche when the sinuses are clogged.

I don't know about you, but in those photos, I can see "floaters" in that cocoa. Can we trust him that they're just marshmallows? That's one sick dude.

He's Got a Case of the "Hershey Squirts"

Having a case of the "Hershey squirts," the elf decorated some Christmas cookies.  Yum!

Having a case of the "Hershey squirts," the elf decorated some Christmas cookies. Yum!

Toothpaste Switcheroo

The Elf On the Shelf is a bad boy indeed. He switched the toothpaste for the hemorrhoid cream, hoping nobody would notice. It belongs on the nether regions, although some people also use it under their eyes to reduce puffiness. (Hopefully they use a different tube for their face.) If you fall for this ugly prank, at least your teeth won't itch.

That's Not Toothpaste on That Brush!

Santa's intern was caught switching the toothpaste and Preparation H (a hemerrhoid treatment cream).  At least your teeth won't itch.

Santa's intern was caught switching the toothpaste and Preparation H (a hemerrhoid treatment cream). At least your teeth won't itch.

The Jerk Who Taught Miley Cyrus to Twerk

You remember twerking, the butt shaking, hip thrusting dance that Miley Cyrus made famous on the Video Music Awards in 2013? She shamefully sexualized teddy bears, of all things. It was so wrong that according to TIME magazine, American society doesn't even want to hear the word twerking anymore.4 (Much less do we want to see it.)

But wait. Where did that troubled young woman originally learn her moves? Yep. The Elf On the Shelf taught Hannah Montana to twerk. North Pole Investigations caught him twerking in front of the teddy bears below. Just look at the expression on those poor bears' faces. Ditto dat.

Twerking Elf: Will These Teddy Bears Ever Be the Same?

This poor teddy bear has a baby bear in its arms.  Is nothing sacred?  Will they both be traumatized for life by this awful experience?

This poor teddy bear has a baby bear in its arms. Is nothing sacred? Will they both be traumatized for life by this awful experience?

FUNNY VIDEO: Seniors React To Twerking

Elf Gone Wild

As if twerking weren't enough, the elf has been acting out in other ways that embarrass the North Pole and poorly represent all things Christmas.

I hear that the Santa's intern was reported to have been snorting confectioner's sugar with a straw and drinking maple syrup straight from the bottle. Wouldn't you know that addiction was at the root of his troubles?

This elf needs serious help. These shenanigans cannot continue.

Wearing only a bow, this troubled young elf was caught sexting a photo of himself to someone in the Gingerbread house. He then posted these provocative photos on-line.

What does the Elf On the Shelf have, gumdrops for brains? Photos are forever. This is Conduct Unbecoming Of An Elf. He'll never be more than an intern elf if he doesn't cool it.

Then there's the peeping Tom issue. He's an unabashed upskirter, someone who receives the cheapest of thrills from looking up Christmas tree angels' dresses. The practice is not exactly illegal, but it sure is creepy. Upskirting involves secretly photographing the area under a woman's dress.

Word on the street is that Mrs. Claus has taken a special interest in this aspect of the investigation. She will be personally overseeing the Elf's punishment.

The Elf Is Sexting Again

The elf sexted selfies to Gingerbread people and then posted them on-line.

The elf sexted selfies to Gingerbread people and then posted them on-line.

Elf On the Shelf Caught Upskirting the Angels

You just know Mrs. Claus is going to have something to say about this.

You just know Mrs. Claus is going to have something to say about this.

Reader Poll

Major Crack-Up or Just Another Case of Nutcracker on Nutcracker Violence?

It's one thing to be a danger to yourself, but it's quite another to harm others. There was loss of life in the household where the Elf On the Shelf was staying recently. Sources say Santa's young elf sidekick may have been involved.

Stella, the North Pole Investigator who arrived first on the scene, checked for life, then secured the scene. She is a no-nonsense investigator who will get to the bottom of this. Check out the photos of her hard at work.

Two nutcrackers were found mortally wounded. The place was a massacre. Nuts were strewn about everywhere—both cracked and uncracked. Some elves say that the young intern didn't do it, that the massacre was just another case of the escalating nutcracker on nutcracker violence.

Nutcrackers carry weapons, as they have them glued to their hands. When they disagree, sometimes nutcrackers use their swords instead of their words to argue. It's not right. All I'm saying, is just keep an open mind. Just because the Elf On the Shelf sexted and pooped on cookies doesn't mean he did this.

Oh, he looks innocent enough.  That's the whole problem.

Oh, he looks innocent enough. That's the whole problem.

Just Remember: You Didn't Hear It from Me

This elf seems like a naughty guy who brings shame to elfkind. His jingle bells need a good shaking to make him realize that this is certainly not the way to represent Christmas.

Could this elf be in cahoots with the reindeer to oust Santa? They may be trying to frustrate the jolly old guy into giving up the reins of the sleigh. Or perhaps the intern is just candy cane clueless. (Or crazy?)

Whatever it is, you need to keep everything I told you to yourself. You didn't hear any of this from me. We don't want to end up on that naughty list, right?

References

1Haynes, Beth. "HomeGrown: Carol Aebersold, co-author of 'Elf on the Shelf'." HomeGrown. WBIR, n.d. Web. 13 Dec. 2013. http://mocux.wbir.com/story/entertainment/people/homegrown/2013/11/26/elf-shelf-carol-abersold/3762381/.

2Ortiz, Vicki. "Elf on Shelf popular, despite parenting experts' concerns." Chicago Tribune. N.p., 12 Dec. 2013. Web. 13 Dec. 2013. http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2013-12-12/news/ct-elf-on-the-shelf-met-20131212_1_shelf-the-elf-carol-aebersold.

3"Meet Mensch On A Bench, Jewish Counterpart To Elf On The Shelf."National Public Radio. N.p., 26 Nov. 2013. Web. 13 Dec. 2013. http://www.npr.org/2013/11/26/247346217/elf-on-the-shelf-meets-jewish-counterpart-mensch-on-a-bench.

4Steinmetz, Katy. "Newsfeed." Twerk Is Officially the Word You Want Banished in 2014 Comments. TIME, 11 Dec. 2013. Web. 12 Dec. 2013. http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/12/11/twerk-is-officially-the-word-you-want-banished-in-2014/.

© 2013 FlourishAnyway

Comments

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on October 26, 2020:

Lora - Thanks for your kind comment! Who knows what sparks their decisions.

Lora Hollings on October 25, 2020:

This is hilarious, Flourish. You have a little bit of that mischievous elf in you, I think or just a great sense of humor! I certainly wouldn't want that elf on my shelf, though. My vote went to Mensch on a Bench but I hope he's nothing like his counterpart or we're all in trouble. I loved your photos too especially the one with the cookies! A very fun article. I vote that they move it back to Holidappy.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on October 25, 2020:

Peggy - I love Christmas articles and humor articles so this was a good mix. The powers that be on HP decided to demote it from Holidappy. Grinches.

Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on October 25, 2020:

You must have had so much fun in writing and taking photos for this hilarious article. My vote goes to Stella and the Mensch on a Bench to keep that mischief-making Elf on a Shelf under control. Haha!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 11, 2019:

George - Thanks for stopping by. The elf needs some intervention.

George Xu from Philippines on December 10, 2019:

Hey! I dislike it when you're implying that Rudolph was somehow bad when he first started. Rudolph wasn't bad at all. He was just bullied.

Well, I'll say it's time for reinforcements and have this elf trained on good behaviour.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 08, 2015:

Linda - He's a strange little guy, a marketing delight. He'll watch you during the day and seek revenge at night. Thanks for reading!

Linda Bilyeu from Orlando, FL on December 07, 2015:

The elf is hilarious for adults, but not for kids, I think it's very disturbing. Luckily my granddaughters do not find the magic of the elf appealing! YAY! Yet, I think the "naughty" elf is entertaining. Great ideas! :)

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 07, 2015:

LTM - I bet she is! Wish I were her! Thanks for reading!

LongTimeMother from Australia on December 07, 2015:

Thank you, FA! Now I understand what an elf on the shelf is, and where they sprang from. I'd never heard of them before today. Carol Aebersold must be laughing all the way to the bank. :)

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 18, 2014:

Kailua - Maybe so?

KonaGirl from New York on December 17, 2014:

We'll just name him Pervie Elf on the Shelf -LOL!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 20, 2014:

KoffeeKlatch Gals - Thanks for stopping by. I hear the elf is doing well in Elf Attitude Therapy, as his personal issues are minuscule compared with the rest of us. Maybe there's hope for him.

Susan Hazelton from Sunny Florida on January 20, 2014:

I love your imagination. I enjoyed reading your tale about that naughty little elf.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 12, 2014:

Rebecca - I enjoyed the whole Christmas season myself. Thanks for reading and commenting!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 12, 2014:

Jeannie - I think he's safely locked away in an Elf Rehab facility for the Naughty. We'll see if he gets out by next Christmas.

Rebecca Mealey from Northeastern Georgia, USA on January 12, 2014:

I love the elf on a shelf concept. Amusing! Thanks, and you have me wishing it was still Christmas. Next year!

Jeannie Marie from Baltimore, MD on January 12, 2014:

I knew it! All along I've been seeing these Elf on a Shelf dolls at stores and thinking I could not trust them. This is proof of it. Thank you for being brave enough to step forward and cover this serious issue. No Elf on a Shelf for me!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 09, 2014:

mylindaelliott - He got coal this year in his stocking, so I hear. Hope he learned his lesson. Thanks for stopping by!

mylindaelliott from Louisiana on January 09, 2014:

Oh my that's hilarious. I knew there was something the matter with that elf!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 31, 2013:

Eddy - Thank you for stopping by and for commenting. I'm glad you enjoyed this. Have a Happy New Year!

Eiddwen from Wales on December 31, 2013:

Loved this gem and voting up for sure. Wishing you a great year ahead.

Eddy.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 28, 2013:

Jackie - So glad this gave you a chuckle! Have a great weekend.

Jackie Lynnley from the beautiful south on December 28, 2013:

How on earth did I miss this? So cute too! Well I can use the laughs today too. Thanks! ^

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 26, 2013:

Carolyn - Thanks for stopping by. Hope you had a fantastic Christmas.

Carolyn Emerick on December 26, 2013:

love it! Very whimsical and cute! Upvoted and shared :-)

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 23, 2013:

Better Yourself - Thanks for reading, commenting and for sharing. Yeah, this guy is naughty and definitely not for your sister's tiny tots, unless you want to create an army of little monsters just like him. (Oh, no!) Merry Christmas!

Better Yourself from North Carolina on December 23, 2013:

LOL! Very entertaining hub, well done! I'm going to share with my sister as she does the Elf on the Shelf but these ideas are definitely not aged appropriate for her kids.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 23, 2013:

Suzanne - This was a fun one to write! Stella has kicked the stuffing out of the Naughty Elf with her back paws when he gave her a smarty pants answer to a serious question. Merry Christmas!

Suzanne Day from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia on December 22, 2013:

A seriously awesome Christmas hub that I enjoyed reading. LOVED the photos of the errant Santa! Best Christmas hub this year. Voted up, shared and pinned ;)

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 22, 2013:

Shivapabboju - Thanks for stopping by.

Shiva Kumar Pabboju from India on December 21, 2013:

Mery Christmas friends

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 19, 2013:

chunnusaran - Thanks for stopping by. Merry Christmas to you, too!

chinnusaran on December 18, 2013:

mery christmas

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 18, 2013:

DzyMsLizzy - Anyone who upskirts angels gets whatever is coming to them. He is not a nice elf, but thankfully it's just pranks. Thaks for sharing and stopping by. This was a fun hub to write and photograph.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 18, 2013:

Writer Fox - This is apparently what you get when HR is not doing their job. Glad you enjoyed this shameful elf. We'll let Mrs. Claus go bonkers on him.

Writer Fox from the wadi near the little river on December 18, 2013:

My oh my! This really is a naughty little elf. I think viewer discretion is advised for the twerking and the toothpaste! Funny, Voted up and Pinning.

Liz Elias from Oakley, CA on December 18, 2013:

I just started hearing about this "Elf on the Shelf" tradition this year, when a friend of mine started posting daily 'antics' on Face Book. I had not heard of this supposedly old tradition before.

This is a funny (oh, I mean shameful) report, and this elf is very clever (oops, I mean perverted), in his actions.

I promise to keep the secret.. (Oh, oops..I forgot, and already hit the share button and for FB, as well!! Oh, dear--the elf must've slipped something into my tea!)

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 18, 2013:

Torrilynn - Thanks for stopping by. Naughty elf probably just needs some positive encouragement and a good kick in the patootie. Merry Christmas.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 18, 2013:

pocono foothills - I hope your Hershey friends enjoy that one. Thanks for stopping by!

torrilynn on December 18, 2013:

This was interesting and very well put together just in time for the holidays. Thanks for the laugh and the good story. Voted up.

John Fisher from Easton, Pennsylvania on December 18, 2013:

@FlourishAnyway-Very entertaining. I send some of my buddies the Hershey Squirts, because we live not too far from Hershey, PA.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 18, 2013:

Crafty - Thanks for stopping by. Check your toothpaste before you brush. Have a great day.

CraftytotheCore on December 18, 2013:

This is great! I loved it. We used to have one of those naughty elves on the shelf, but he would sneak up on me at night and scare me. LOL

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 18, 2013:

agusfanani - He is a naughty elf who needs a lesson in manners and dancing, just like Miley. They are both headed for trouble if they don't watch out. Thanks for stopping by!

agusfanani from Indonesia on December 17, 2013:

I'm honestly not so familiar with Elf on the Shelf but it seems that he has made a lot of influences in many parts of the world including to Miley Cyrus' sensational dance. Thank you for introducing me with this naughty elf in this entertaining hub.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 17, 2013:

Lybrah - Check his references first, by all means! Thanks for reading and commenting.

Lybrah on December 17, 2013:

Awesome, original hub! I love it! I totally want my own Elf on the shelf now!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 17, 2013:

Anna - Rumor is Santa has this guy in a headlock until he says "sorry" which doesn't look like it will be any time soon. I'm happy you got a kick out of it. Merry Christmas.

Anna Haven from Scotland on December 17, 2013:

Really entertaining and funny. Your spun a whole new angle on Christmas, which is no mean feat! Really cleverly pulled together and I love the 'reporter' style narrative. A great read.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 15, 2013:

Hi, Bill - I'm sure HR will check references better next time. Happy Holidays to you as well!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 15, 2013:

Christy - Thanks for stopping by. I am delighted you enjoyed this bad elf. He has some explaining to do.

Bill De Giulio from Massachusetts on December 15, 2013:

Very funny Flourish. A great hub for the holidays. Love the creativity. Happy Holiday.

Christy Birmingham from British Columbia, Canada on December 15, 2013:

I'm giggling -- like Bill I was laughing as I read along and looked at the photos!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 14, 2013:

bravewarrior - Sha, do you think are our twerkers are broken? It was cute watching those seniors trying to twerk. My daughter tells me I look just like them. How offensive. Don't join the panel just yet. Thanks for reading and commenting.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 14, 2013:

Deathblow - That's a good one! Wish I had thought of it! Thanks for stopping by.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 14, 2013:

DDE - Hope that elf avoids your house, Devika. I'm having Stella stand guard for me. Have a great weekend!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 14, 2013:

Jo - He is one bad fella. Glad you enjoyed his shenanigans.

Jo Alexis-Hagues from Lincolnshire, U.K on December 14, 2013:

This one really tickled the funny bone. There's just no stopping the malicious Elf.

Excellent write.

Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on December 14, 2013:

Naughty Elf On A Shelf: 7 Ways For A Christmas Elf To Go Bad is an amazing hub with such lovely photos and what an interesting thought about the elf. A hilarious hub indeed. Voted up, useful, interesting, funny and awesome.

Andrew Crawley from Earth on December 14, 2013:

My elf TPed my tree

Shauna L Bowling from Central Florida on December 14, 2013:

Flourish, this is a riot! You've really put your imagination to good use. I love the elders video. I'd never even heard of twerking. Perhaps it's time for me to join the geriatric panel of experts! :-)

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 14, 2013:

Kathleen - Who knew that Santa likes waffles? This Santa was very jolly, and after I took several uninvited photos of him in public he chuckled and came up and talked to me like old friends (because of course, we are). My husband asked, "Did you know that guy?" I replied, "Of course! That's Santa!" Tell your family to be on the lookout for him. I bet he's retiring in the area. He looked like he was enjoying himself.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 14, 2013:

Jodah - No one can replace Santa, especially not this naughty elf! Thanks for reading and commenting.

Kathleen Cochran from Atlanta, Georgia on December 14, 2013:

Too cute! My daughter and grandkids live in Chester, VA. I'll have to tell them to be on the look-out. Merry!

John Hansen from Queensland Australia on December 14, 2013:

Very funny hub Flourish, and had me smiling all the way. A good read before Christmas.Not sure he'll be a good replacement for Santa though. That's got me a little worried.

I have a feeling you had as much fun putting this hub together as we did reading it. Voted up+

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 14, 2013:

Frank - Glad you enjoyed it and didn't find it a bit too much. That elf is quite bad, especially for being so young. This younger generation is something else these days!

Frank Atanacio from Shelton on December 13, 2013:

This was one of the most entertaining hubs I read in such a long time, I had a good time with it.. thank you flourish up and sharing :)

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 13, 2013:

Heidi - Glad you enjoyed it. Have a good weekend!

Heidi Thorne from Chicago Area on December 13, 2013:

Sounds like he'd be a great companion for Bad Santa! Thanks for the holiday chuckles!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 13, 2013:

Faith Reaper - I don't know what his problem is, but it's bigger than he is! Glad you enjoyed the chuckle. Thanks for stopping by.

Faith Reaper from southern USA on December 13, 2013:

hahaha hilarious!!! I think he may just be going through puberty? hehehe

Up and more and sharing

Thank you for the laughs and sharing in your creativity here!

Have a great weekend,

Faith Reaper

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 13, 2013:

kidscrafts - This was a fun one. Stella is a superb investigator. She wasn't even invited on the scene but whadda ya know there she showed up to check things out. That's what a good investigator does. Stella may just rip this guy's stuffing out before Mrs. Claus gets a chance to even deal with him. She does decide quickly. Thanks for reading and commenting!

kidscrafts from Ottawa, Canada on December 13, 2013:

I think you have an elf with an attitude here Flourish ;-)

I love Stella, the North Pole Investigator :-))) I think I have that kind of investigator at home.... but I think mine would start to play with the elf and the nuts!

And Santa looking to retire and move to a warmer location.... who could blame him! I would like to do the same at his honorable age!

Great hub! Fantastic pictures! Obviously, you had fun with this one, Flourish!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on December 13, 2013:

Bill - Glad you enjoyed it! I guess we can all be a little candy cane clueless at times. Have a great weekend.

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on December 13, 2013:

Candy cane clueless? LOL....great fun with this one. You had me laughing all the way through. Well done my friend.