Updated date:

Jesus Is Not Your Valentine

Cheryl is a poet, freelance writer, author, and former newspaper columnist. She has degrees in Psychology and Biblical studies


Pastors are the problem

Within the word of faith churches, there is a tendency to manipulate the thinking of those who attend services and watch online or on television. I speak from personal experience of having been a member of 2 such churches as well as watching countless televised services. Single women especially are highly manipulated when it comes to seeking a husband. I have heard pastors tell these unmarried females that God has picked out the perfect mate for them, who will be a man strong in faith and will treat them like a queen. In February unmarried women have been told, and may also be hearing that Jesus will be their Valentine. The Bible gives us many Names for Him and Valentine is not one of them. Preachers should stick to the gospel so they will not fall into the error of wrong teaching and setting female congregants up for failure. The love of our Father and Jesus Christ His son is Agape which is selfless love extended to all people. John 16 validates this; For God so loved the world He gave His only Begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. This is not Eros (physical love).

High expectations that do not manifest

I listened to one pastor preach to the single women how Jesus was their everything and would supply their needs so they should not think about Valentine's Day. February 14 is a date where many observe a man-made holiday and it has nothing to do with Christ. Just like Christmas, it is one 24 hour period which, if ignored will pass soon enough. I can recall in high school seeing other girls getting candy and jewelry and feeling as if I were missing something. I understand that kind of anxiety of wondering when it will be your turn. I did not understand at that time the importance of the scripture the 1oth commandment which says "Thou shall not covet." There is nothing wrong with hoping for a better future but using Jesus to make others think you are really OK with being alone is wrong. Preachers in pulpits cause single women to set their expectations on the type of man who does not exist and this brings disappointment. How many women may have missed a man who would have made a good husband because he did not measure up to what the pastor told them?


Jesus is Supernatural and All Powerful

Isaiah 9:6 gives us a few indications of who He is. For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. Christ is the anointed one and not anyone's husband or lover. He rose from the grave with all power in His hands. He later appeared to His disciples by supernaturally showing up without walking through the door. Then, the same day at evening, being the first day of the week, when the doors were shut where the disciples were assembled, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in the midst, and said to them, “Peace be with you. He later left them by ascending, rising, floating up to heaven.(Acts 1:6-11). We should keep him in His rightful place. There are plenty of people who do not observe any manmade holidays and they do not give it another thought so keep this in mind.

Valentine definition

For most adult single women, a Valentine is a man who gives them candy and jewelry, takes them out on the town, and ends up in their bed. None of this is the role that Christ plays in our lives. I recall a female minister who often posted on Facebook that God had told her that He had the perfect husband for her. She listed various attributes often as if that would make this man materialized. The descriptions she gave seemed almost impossible for any human. In February she would say that Jesus was her Valentine and chills would go all over me. This woman passed away a few years ago without ever getting married to an earthy spouse but she is now in His presence where He indeed is fulfilling all her needs. In heaven there is no Valentine's Day just as there are no birthdays or other holidays because these were all made by man.

Ignore the day

Over the years, single females have gotten together to celebrate Valentine's Day without men and that is their choice. My opinion is to just ignore the day. It is supposed to be a day for love and romance with other humans. If you do not have a romantic interest in your life, just go on as usual and the day will pass. There re divorced women and widows who must go on even though for years or decades they had someone to express love to them on Valentine's Day. There are women whose spouse is in a hospital, long-term care facility, and or dealing with dementia and cannot buy them a gift for February 14. Those who are women of faith will trust the Lord to get them through the day but hopefully, they will not say Jesus replaces their husband as they Valentine. After my daughter's husband walked out on her, my husband began giving her flowers and candy on February 14. He was not attempting to replace her husband but was just letting her know that he loved her and she mattered. I still give candy to my adult children and also my grandchildren in the spirit of the day. If you have someone to celebrate with then by all means show love. If you do not then it might be best to ignore the date because it will pass in 24 hours. Whatever you do please do not say that Jesus takes the place of a human. Keep Him in the supernatural, all-powerful position that He inhabits which is sitting on the right hand of the Father and soon vanquishing Satan for all eternity.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2021 Cheryl E Preston


Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on January 19, 2021:

Valentines is definitely a man-made holiday. Card companies, those selling roses, candy companies, and jewelry companies, among others, publicize it for obvious reasons.

Pamela Oglesby from Sunny Florida on January 19, 2021:

I .never think much about Valentine's day as my birthday is on the 13th, so Valentine's day was never celebrated really.

I think you are right about pastor's giving the wrong message, and it is their job to not do that. This is a good article, Cheryl, and I fully agree with you.

Clive Williams from Jamaica on January 19, 2021:

Very Interesting