I have an old book on my hard drive that I don’t even remember how it got there. But as I was brainstorming for gift ideas for this holiday season I stumbled upon it, and it came to me that it is a good gift to give to the women of entrepreneurs and business owners in this post-Covid climate, when we are all looking to revamp the economy and rebuild lives and livelihoods.
To give it to the women so that they can become a source of inspiration to the men in their lives, to become their men’s refuge from despair and humiliation, to become their men’s source of strength.
But as I started writing this article, I noticed that it would actually make a great gift idea for mothers or any woman that is dating a man – all women above eighteen years perhaps! It makes a very good alternative gift if you find it hard to come by the traditional Christmas and New Year’s gifts for the 2021 holiday season...
According to this book, (we’ll get to it shortly), some men show their love by working hard, but the wives don’t always see it that way.
“Sometimes a man has to work long hours to build up a business, or get out of debt. He may put all his energy into his work and neglect the house maintenance for a time.”
In this post-COVID economy, a lot of us are going to find ourselves in these sorts of situations and dilemmas, both the men and the women, but according to this awesome book, “Life is full of humiliations for every man.”
But, “…a man who is admired and praised, especially by his wife, grows in confidence and nobility. There is a ready smile to his face, and a spring in his step. He holds his head high…your man needs your admiration more than he needs your love. Few women know this great truth.”
How to become your man’s success muse
Before you raise the question, “Shouldn’t the men take the responsibility to motivate themselves and work on sustaining their drive and their energy,” the quick answer from the author is that a man’s woman enjoys special powers in this regard.
Call it God-given or nature’s design, or the law of the universe, or whatever you want. It’s probably why men can’t take good care of themselves; why, even when they are already successful, most men can’t stay single.
The book I’m talking about is called Fascinating Womanhood, and I’m aware it has had a bad rep in the past in women’s circles. But for the modern woman who wants a proven way to inspire her man to greater success, without resorting to horoscopes, psychics, or artificial pheromones, this book needs a rebirth in 2021, alongside new-age concepts like wealth attraction, manifestation, visualization, and affirmations.
Here’s what the book’s author, Helen Andelin, had to say about a woman’s role to be her man’s muse:
“God has given us women the power to motivate men to rise to greater and more noble heights than they would otherwise achieve.’’
In spite of the negative publicity it received from feminists when it first came out, many of the ideas in the book are as relevant today as they were thirty, forty years ago.
One of the best reviews I have seen of the book offers this advice:
“I think from reading reviews, the point that some women get out of the book is the importance of giving their husbands positive attention. Nothing wrong with that, and most of us could probably benefit from regular reminders to treat our nearest and dearest kindly… You must take into account the fact that she [Helen Andelin, the author] is a 1950s/1960s housewife. However, I would encourage you to read the book and take what is good from it.”
Clear, benefits-laden relationship advice for the modern woman
There is a lot of good to take away from this book. It will show a modern, open-minded woman, among other things,
- Ways how to ensure your man grows in confidence and nobility. Leverage your God-given powers and become a successful, happier person yourself – by causing his confidence and self-esteem to soar in a way that arouses his energy, and his success drive.
- How to find qualities in your man you never knew existed… and what to say to him – and how – to make him feel more manly and worthy of success.
- What to do to get your man to confide to you his deepest and innermost thoughts… know what his most cherished goals and dreams are so you can position yourself to become his cherished goal buddy and his success muse. If you can get him to open up to you this will arouse his deepest love.
How to help your man overcome his doubts, his detractors, and his self-limiting beliefs. If you have gotten him to confide in you, this puts you in a power position because two heads are always better than one.
One HUGE side benefit of this is that you could help your man discover his core strengths and abilities, his hidden talent, or his passion. Like Oprah Winfrey said, “If you really want to fly, just harness your power to your passion.”
Helen Mirren said, “The great marriages are partnerships. It can't be a great marriage without being a partnership.” And it can’t be a partnership if your man does not confide in you anymore his dreams, his goals, or his challenges.
Service professionals: Work less and enjoy your business more...
Becoming his true friend
In the image above, that's Philippe Petit walking the tight rope across the twin towers.
According to Fascinating Womanhood, men and boys are hard-wired to seek, and thrive on, admiration. This has driven innovation, advancement, and development through the centuries.
This hard-wiring means that their pride is easily wounded. In Andelin’s words,
“Many times your [man] will come home to you, tired and discouraged. Not because of over work, as you might think, but because somebody has wounded his pride."
"Perhaps he was not shown any appreciation for something good he had done. Or he may have been criticized or reprimanded by a superior. Maybe a customer or a work colleague made a hurtful remark. He may have made a mistake that embarrassed him in front of his co-workers. That’s very common.”
But, according to Fascinating Womanhood, most men won’t let on how they’ve been ravaged by the day – if you’ve injured their pride yourself before, if there is no trust between the two of you, if you haven’t shown that you care about his career, if you don’t appreciate what he’s doing.
In fact, this is something of the acid test to a supportive relationship that is still a partnership…
So, does your man share his thoughts and problems, his past, his business or career goals, and his success dreams with you? Or he finds it easier to confide in others – women he works with, or his closest male buddies?
The smallest hint of ambivalence or doubt in responding to this question may hint at a growing rift that is doing untold damage to your man’s chances of achieving greater success in his life.
A rift that probably wasn’t helped by the recent COVID lockdowns, the losses of livelihoods and revenue, the losses of lives.
"Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend is his wife." ~ Franz Schubert
With all that said, I didn’t write this piece so that the men out there would read it and buy Fascinating Womanhood to gift to their women.
That’s not impossible (I encourage it in fact) but for some men it could be problematic on a number of levels. So, if you’re a woman and you’re reading this, buy the book yourself.
How to give your man the biggest gift of all (a chance to achieve greater success) wasn’t about buying your man a gift this Christmas; it’s about developing your capacity to become his high-performance success muse.
For the men out there, if you’re reading this and you can gift your woman Fascinating Womanhood, go ahead. If you think it may not be such a good idea, at least share this article with your tribe on social media.
In the wake of the COVID pandemic we’re all going to need all the perks we can get, all the inspiration and support we need to make business a success.
Women will need their men’s support and inspiration – and vice-versa. On the surface, Fascinating Womanhood would seem to heap all the perks and goodies on the men’s side of things, and that may offend some women.
But like John Wooden said, “Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.”
Good luck to you all, and happy holidays!