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Happy Mother's Day in Heaven - A Letter to My Friend

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I Still and Will Always Miss You!

A Dove with an Olive Branch is a Symbol of Peace the World Over.

A Dove with an Olive Branch is a Symbol of Peace the World Over.

It is very difficult to believe it has been four years since you passed through Heaven’s Gate. I will always remember that day, being so near to Mother’s Day, your birthday and mine.

I miss your touch, your laughter and your infectious smile that could make my day a day worthwhile!

Our birthdays made us a common bond for they were just two days apart. The times we spent together built happy memories that can never fall apart.


Our trips to the ocean on Mother’s Day was our favorite thing to do. I’m glad I shared so many of them with you!


You enriched my life in many ways, you were more than just a friend.

You were my teacher, your daughters keeper and my children’s second mom.

Like a mother of pearl you had many layers of wisdom and charm.


Then along came that dreadful disease!

We talked!

Your mind never became a tempest of “if only” or “what if” questions. You focused on all the possible good outcomes. Your faith helped to weather the storms and offered strength to face the world.

I remember the first day you went for chemo treatment. Friends were gathered in your yard to open up your pool. When you returned you did not take to bed. You took to the kitchen and cooked us all some food. You had a heart of gold.

When I Was Home and Apart From You, I Would Play This Song and Think of You!

I hope you dance

I Hope You Dance / lyrics

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I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,

You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,

May you never take one single breath for granted,

GOD forbid love ever leave you empty handed,

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,

Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens,

Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,

Never settle for the path of least resistance,

Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin'

Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin',

Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,

When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,

Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance...I hope you dance

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,

Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens,

Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.


I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)

Barbara, Thank You, You Chose to Dance

The next six years had its ups and downs. And I was blessed to have you around. Our friendship grew. Your lively spirit was my beacon of light that inspired me to become a better person. You chose to dance and lived life to its fullest.

Then the unexpected

New challenges came up and things got rough for you. I watched you peacefully with your eyes closed come head to head with each new demon. I saw you do this before. I knew you'd be o.k.

The next day you asked for me. Jen called and I came. Things appeared to be the same; you resting and at peace.

Your skin was looking dry. I applied some lotion. I sat quietly for awhile.

It was time for me to go.  I didn't know it would be the last time I'd see you.

Your journey was soon to be over.

The next day, the shimmering road to the golden gate flung wide. And you, my friend, courageously entered.

I do not know the details of what happened.

I felt happy and sad. I felt happy that your daughters got to spend that last Mother's Day with you. I was sad because you weren't physically here for our birthdays. On your birthday that year I bought you some candles. I light them each year on your birthday. I will light them again on May 22. I know your presence will be near for the gift of friendship is ours to share.

If there's one thing I know for sure and that is nothing on this earth can separate us, not time, not space, not even death! You my friend, live forever in my heart.

Where Words Fail, Music Speaks. ~Hans Christian Andersen~

"Who Knew" is The Song I Listened To and Danced to Over and Over, While Holding Your Picture In Hand, To Help Ease the Pain of Losing You.

In Memory of My Precious Friend - Barbara J. Marciante - May 16, 2007

Barbara and my daughter Tracey/getting ready for First Communion

Barbara and my daughter Tracey/getting ready for First Communion


Happy Mother's Day in Heaven, Barbara - I Miss You!

Photo Credits

Graphic by ProCW

Graphic by ProCW

In The Arms of an Angel

Thank you Barbara

12/20/09 - Barbara you never cease to amaze me. Your Christmas cookies have arrived at my doorstep again. That is the best Christmas gift that I could ever receive. How do you do that? I'll put the tea on and let's have tea and Christmas cookies together right now, ok friend? I knew you'd say yes!

5/22/10 - Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday Dear Barbara, Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuu... The candles have been lit. Now lets have cake together :)

5/16/2011 - We're all missing you all over again Barbara on your 4th anniversary in Heaven!


bri on June 28, 2011:

i cried when i read this. im so sorry for your loss

dotty1 from In my world on September 16, 2010:

Dottie1 this beautiful hub brought tears to my eyes, so lovely and very moving... xx

also 'who knew' i love this song and saw Pink recently fantastic ... you write with such emotion

Dottie1 (author) from MA, USA on May 24, 2010:

Thanks Karen for stopping by. I'm so glad you enjoyed the tribute and the music to a very special friend. I know it must have lots of meaning to you as it did for me. God Bless You Too!

Karen DesRoches on May 23, 2010:

Dottie, OMG! You get the Gold medal for this tribute. You're very special and so was Barbara! May she rest in peace, knowing she has friends and family like you who loved her dearly. God Bless You!

Youngcurves19 from Hawaii on May 15, 2010:

Im so sorry for your loss and her daughters loss god bless you and happy mothers day

Anamika S Jain from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India on April 22, 2010:

That was a very touching Hub! My Mom is no more and i miss her a lot now. I did not value her or say her that i love her when she was alive but always took her presence in my life for granted. But now i regret it.

create a page from Maryland, USA on March 13, 2010:

This hub is so precious. It captures a bond between two people that existed while both were on earth and continues to exist even after one departs.

I love your photos, your poem and the final section 'Thank you Barbara'. You are indeed a gifted writer. You make me feel like I have met Barbara simply by reading this hub. It also reminds me of my own mother who passed two weeks prior to mothers' day several years ago, and she was buried the day before mothers' day. It brought back bitter sweet memories. Thank you!

Dottie1 (author) from MA, USA on December 05, 2009:

Thank you BB for stopping by and sharing a very touching story with me. I'm happy that you found hubpages. It is like a second home to many and where friendships do blossom. I hope to better know you in the days ahead and will pay a visit to your hubs. Take care and God Bless You Too and Your Family ~ Dottie


Hi Dottie,

I feel like we already share a bond and I don't even know you.You and I have something or should I say someone that was very special to us. My dear friend was Margot, she was 34 and I was just 14 when we first met.She had two girls at the time Kate who was 3,Joe was only just starting to crawl. Margot was pregnant at the time, the baby she lost but she had little Lou another girl to make three two years later. By the time I was 17, Margot and I had formed a close and I mean very close, relationship, like a second mother to me. My mother was not able to talk about all the things to do with intimacy growing up, in fact Margot told me everything needed to know about my changes in my body as I got older. My mother didn't even know when I got my first period for a while because every time I tried to talk about things like this she would clam up. . Margot was very special to me and I became so close to her, as I said she was like a second mother to me, leaving my mother to be very bitter towards what we had together, but not to her physically. I used to babysit all the time for them. On the day that I lost Margot I was singing in the Light Opera Company, where I had been singing for 18 months. I was supposed to be babysitting the following night and I was ringing to confirm. However, when I rang, her best friend from her nursing days, was on the other end and after sending the children away, she informed me that "Margot had died that day". Naturally, I was absolutely devastated when told this. She had apparently had a massive cerebral haemorrhage, and had died in the bathroom in the arms of her father, who was living with them at the time also. You can imagine the impact this had on me being told this out of the blue and startling information. I went on to sing that night as I knew this is what she would have wanted me to do. However, after each break, I would come off the stage, breakdown and have a big cry and then go back for the next scene. Because I had spent so much time looking after the children, Lou from time that she was only three days old had become like my own at times, the children thought, as children would, that I would marry their Dad, I was only just 17 remember, and "be their new mummy", I was so touched by their tenderness towards me and at the same time scared to death and worried what people must be thinking. Ernie's mother was trying to keep me away from them because she could sense what was happening. He on the other hand was missing Margot and had made some remarks to that effect a couple of times, which was not going unnoticed either. I was so confused about what to do. My father is a Psychologist. He told me don't worry Pamela, things will settle soon and the talk will stop. However, instead of settling it got worse. It got so bad that I had to eventually curtail my visits over there, which made it very difficult for the children because they were too young to see what was actually happening. It became so unbearable for me, in the end I left home. I enrolled in the RAAF, did Nursing and later went into a disastrous marriage. I have to tell you that leaving the children was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I still speak to them. They have each told me though, at the time they thought that they had done something wrong and I left them because of this. When I explained the reasons why I had to leave them, they said it was good to know because at the time I left, they had "hated me and felt like I had deserted them".I told them that I understood why they would have felt like this, but I did not have a choice. Their grandmother had given me such a serve because of the time I was spending there. Not only that, but she had been to see the local Priest, my Priest, and told him that I was spending far too much time with "her son"and she felt it was improper. I was 17 and we were just comforting each other, but she turned it into something sordid.She damaged not only my reputation but also her son was made to look bad in the eyes of a lot of the parishioners, people who knew both of us very well. You can see I did the only thing I could to stop things escalating to an impossible level. I left those dear little girls,because I was protecting Ernie's reputation.He has since married twice since her death, the first one he had two more daughters. The second one happened when the first marriage after her death, failed after just three years.He was missing Margot terribly and needing comforting in a way I could not give him if you get my meaning.I think I have said enough on this part of my life now. I will never forget her, in fact, the anniversay of her death is just around the corner. I am so pleased I have had the opportunity to tell you about her and to hear about your very dear friend, Barbara, loved by a lot of people. Take care Dottie, God Bless You and Your Family BB

Dottie1 (author) from MA, USA on September 29, 2009:

Thanks Kim, I appreciate your visit and heartfelt words that will help keep my memories overflowing which are indeed helpful in filling the void. Thank you kindly and many blessings to you too.

Kim Garcia on September 26, 2009:

Dotti1, what a beautiful and touching tribute and song in memory of your best friend. Loyal friends are like medicine, they keep our spirits alive. Once they've departed even though we know in the depths of our souls they are in a better place, that still doesn't fill the void of their presence. Your lovely heartfelt words truly tells the story of a blessed friendship, as well as a heart yearning to live those days and special moments once again. Beautiful!! Thank you!! Many Blessings!! ~K

Dottie1 (author) from MA, USA on June 11, 2009:

Thank you Joann for passing through and sharing your soul. May you be blessed always and FOREVER!

Joann Hohaia on June 10, 2009:

This brought great sadness and tears to my eyes as I read your sweet letter.Yes you where an honest and true friend.I know she will be always in your heart.Thats so sweet words cant express closeness at times.Some how you just seem to sit their in a hays I think you know what I mean My best friend jumped of a cliff she was 7mths pregent.I was only 17yrs old when it happened.and my other best friend was killed in a car Drunk driver run into her and her young brother died to.But I think of the good times we shared will always stay within your Heart FOREVER.

Dottie1 (author) from MA, USA on May 17, 2009:

Thank you soo much blondepoet.  Your comment touched deep in my heart, too.  If not today at least this Friday, May 22, on my friend Barbara's birthday (as I light her candles) she will definitely look down on me with a beautiful smile.  Thanks again!

blondepoet from australia on May 17, 2009:

That is such a beautiful tribute, that really touched deep in my heart. I am sure she is looking down on you with a beautiful smile on her face.

Dottie1 (author) from MA, USA on May 09, 2009:

Thank you Melody and Happy Mother's Day to you too! :)

Melody Lagrimas from Philippines on May 08, 2009:

What a nice tribute to your friend. Happy mother's day to you.

Dottie1 (author) from MA, USA on May 07, 2009:

Awwww gee cutepuppypicture, that is sweet, a meeting in Heaven. I would like to see that!

cutepuppypicture on May 06, 2009:

hey, i love this hub. Wish my mum is still here with me. Happy mother's day, mum. Mum Barbara... Barbara meet my mum.

Dottie1 (author) from MA, USA on May 05, 2009:

Thanks! :)

eaasi3574 on May 05, 2009:

excellent hub.I like it.

Dottie1 (author) from MA, USA on May 03, 2009:

CAMIE! Hello and Big Hugs to you!  How are you?  Having you visit here is bringing back Barbie and her sister memories.  Thank you!  I am wondering though which sister got left the honor of picking on baby brother Bobby!  Somebody has got to do it, ya know!

"The Mayor" ??? LOL.  She never told me that; I love it!  I still can learn something new about her everyday!

Thank you so much for your last thought.  I know how much Barbara loved the purple iris for she made me dig them up one year from my garden and put them in hers.:)

I also know she loved the purple lilac which are just beginning to bloom now just in time for her birthday.  She was able to see the first one bloom on my tree and today it is loaded.  I am quite confident that she would be digging some lilac roots this year for her garden for she had her eye on them.  God Bless Her!

Thank you sooo much Camie for stopping by and reminiscing.  You made my day!

Camie on May 02, 2009:

Could you have written anything more beautiful? How easy to write such beautiful words about someone as special as Barbie. She touched so many lives and taught us what courage really means. Barbie gave us the strength and wouldn't allow any of us to be weak. I miss her so much every day, but every time I think of her, I find something else to smile about. She touched so many people and left lots of wonderful memories. When I'm really missing her, I think of all the wonderful friends and family who adored her. We'll miss our friend the "Mayor", but we will never forget her. Again, thank you for such a lovely tribute. I know how much she loved you. Last thought ... Always smile when you pass a Purple Iris and look up!

Dottie1 (author) from MA, USA on April 30, 2009:

Thanks so much Charia for your visit and comments.

Charia Samher on April 29, 2009:

Wow truly touching, it's just so sad to loose a true friend, well in your case it seems that she is your best friend. Nice way to honor someone who is so close to your heart.

Dottie1 (author) from MA, USA on April 29, 2009:

awwww, thank you soo much Herald Daily, zensan, and anglnwu for your most warm and kind comments. You make my heart go pitta patta! Love and {hugs} to you all!

So sorry to hear about your mom anglnwu, I know how you must miss her. I loved hearing this from you..."I know how I can send my love". That's AWESOME! {hugs}

Thank you all for stopping by!

anglnwu on April 29, 2009:

Such a touching tribute to your friend. I bet she's smiling from Heaven, wishing you the same.

Your title gave me an idea. I always miss my mom on Mother's Day--now, I know how I can send my love. on April 29, 2009:

Hello Dottie, You're such a nice friend after alll the years u still remebered those kindness and loving memories of ur friend ,you have had a beautiful heart in giving tribute to ur friend Barbara...i hope i will be ur friend....take care and God bless

Herald Daily from A Beach Online on April 29, 2009:

It sounds as though Barbara was (still is) a true 'heart' friend.  She lives on through you and from the outside looking in, I think that she lives in a great deal of love and honor.

Dottie1 (author) from MA, USA on April 27, 2009:

Jennifer and Becky

I know you read this tribute to your mom and have sent me beautiful messages through email. 

I am willing to bet you will both be back here visiting as well as I. 

Jennifer - thank you for dropping by my house after you read this.  I enjoyed your company and our chat soo much.  It was a blessing to the two of us.  I see that you have posted a link to facebook and am watching the loving comments to you being left on the wall. 

Becky - I received your email and it truly touched me.  Together we will keep your mom alive through us and it is so easy to share her beauty with the world because she was beautiful!

Love and {hugs} to you both!


Dottie1 (author) from MA, USA on April 27, 2009:

Thank you Michelle, we'll all keep the visualizing going for strength comes in numbers.  I think of both you and Daisy and how busy you must be these days with all the rehearsing for your upcoming musical. Good Luck with that, I wish I could be there to see!  Sending love your way with lots of {hugs}

Hi Shirley, like I told Michelle I knew you would meet Barbara one day too. I'm so happy you did. I will always be thankful to you for making me laugh so hard as in ROF in your Beatles hub which was definitely healing for me. You let me know that it was ok to laugh, have fun, and enjoy life and I thank you over and over for that. Love and {hugs} to you too my Angel Friend.

Frogyfish thank you for those kind words. I appreciate your visit.

frogyfish from Central United States of America on April 26, 2009:

What a beautiful friendship.  Her touch still lingers on you.

And it is almost Mother's Day again.  Celebrate her and yourself too!

Shirley Anderson from Ontario, Canada on April 26, 2009:

Dottie, I knew that this would make me teary! It's obvious that Barbara was a very special person and friend. I could feel how much you miss her as I listened to the song and read your loving words. What a beautiful tribute.

Happy Mother's Day, Dottie Angel!

Happy Mother's Day, Barbara.

Michelle Simtoco from Cebu, Philippines on April 26, 2009:

Now Angel Dottie, you are making me cry!  It is an honor to be your friend and sis too.  I will continue to visualize that one of these days Daisy and I will meet you.  I know we will.  I also know we would have beautiful moments together.  Thank you for the gift of your love.  Can I have a hug now?  {(( hug ))}

Dottie1 (author) from MA, USA on April 26, 2009:

It's o.k. SweetiePie and thank you very much!

Brewen, I believe that and YaHooooo!

Michelle (ripplemaker) - I knew you would meet Barbara one of these days, it's just taken a while! As one door closed, my friendship with you was another door opened. Although we have never met in person our conversations and your soul and presence have been priceless and a blessing to me. I thank you so much and what a great gift if we ever do meet in person. Thank you sis! I love you much! ~Dottie

Michelle Simtoco from Cebu, Philippines on April 26, 2009:

Hi Dottie, now I finally meet Barbara. I am teary eyed reading about her and your friendship. I am at a loss for words but I sit here quietly on a rainy Sunday evening and just holding you close and sending all my love. You have such a beautiful heart dear sis and a blessed life to have had Barbara. Much love and love and love to you... :-)

Brewen on April 25, 2009:

Very nice hub. Your friend will be waiting for you when the time comes. You will share much more special times together.

SweetiePie from Southern California, USA on April 24, 2009:

Sorry I did not get it was about your friend. It is still a heartfelt hub though.

Dottie1 (author) from MA, USA on April 24, 2009:

Thanks Purple Perl, that was a very nice comment.

Hi SweetiePie, this hub was a letter to my friend and she was also a mom. I can fully understand the misunderstanding which I expected would happen. I tried to make this clearer in the beginning but it just wouldn't work out.

My own mother is alive and well. I don't get to see her often enough due to distance but we talk regularly on the phone. I feel extremely fortunate to have my father alive too and living with my mother, it's almost unheard of these days.

Take Care and thank you for stopping by. Also thanks for recommending the Beach House. I bet I will like that:)

Hi ya Eddie, It's nice to see you. I hope you are doing good and I mean, really good. Thanks for coming by.

Thank you lovezan for your visit and your comments.

Eddie Perkins on April 24, 2009:


This is a beautiful poem and tribute.

Blessings ~ eddie

SweetiePie from Southern California, USA on April 23, 2009:

This was a very touching hub about your mom. I think you might like the book the Beach House, which is a story about a mother and daugther reconnecting by studying turtles near the ocean. It is sad because her mom passes at the end of the book, but powerful because she has finally come to love and understand her mother.

Esther Shamsunder from Bangalore,India on April 23, 2009:

Dottie1,Beautiful hub as always! True Friendships are hard to come by and keeping them alive even beyond the realms of the earth,.....!

What a wonderful friendship! Happy Mother's Day to you Dottie1!

Dottie1 (author) from MA, USA on April 23, 2009:

Thanks DarleneMarie!

DarleneMarie from USA on April 23, 2009:

Thanks for sharing such a wonderful tribute to your friend Dottie! She would be so honored I'm sure :)

Dottie1 (author) from MA, USA on April 23, 2009:

Hey Comp, Thanks! You are absolutely right and for the same reasons I think we are friends. Friendships are not easy to come by but some of my best are here at HubPages and to me they are genuine;)

Thank you Lgali. Have a very nice day!

Dottie1 (author) from MA, USA on April 23, 2009:

Hi VioletSun, Thank you for letting me know. Your comment meant a lot to me.

Thanks Princessa. Here, let me dry your eye and bring another smile to your heart. It's true, friendships can be immeasureable and if made from the right stuff can last a lifetime.

Lgali on April 23, 2009:

This is very touching, Dottie. very nice again

Tony Sky from London UK on April 23, 2009:

Hi Dottie,

A beautiful tribute!! Barbara must have been such a kind and friendly person to have been a friend of yours Dottie!!

I never realised the true meaning of friendship until i came to hubpages and read hubs like this, and others like ripplemakers! which has tottaly changed my perception and thoughts of how and what a friend truly is!

Happy Mothers day 2 u n all!:)

Wendy Iturrizaga from France on April 23, 2009:

Very touching hub Dottie, you brougth a tear to my eye and a smile to my heart. Friendship is the dearest thing we can have, priceless, timeless and the best we can wish for.

VioletSun from Oregon/ Name: Marie on April 23, 2009:

This is very touching, Dottie. You were able to get one to feel the beauty and love of your friendship with Barbara.

Dottie1 (author) from MA, USA on April 22, 2009:

Thank you IslandVoice. I appreciate your comments.

Thanks G-Ma, I appreciate the visit and your concern and all the love you have for me and everyone. You have so many friends here that you love and love you.

Sorry to hear about your younger sister, that's sad. We just need to keep dancing through all our disappoints and our joys.


Merle Ann Johnson from NW in the land of the Free on April 22, 2009:

OMG what a beautiful story and rememberance dotti you are so very special and what an adorable girl you have...That was a great song to play too...reminds me of my  younger sister...we went through so much before she passed away at 42 yrs.old with 4 teens left behind...I was there as much as I could be..every friday...oh well is a long story and maybe one day I can tell it in honor of her...

...G-Ma :O) Hugs & Kisses


Sylvia Van Velzer from Hawaii on April 22, 2009:

I'm overwhelmed. Touched. Such a beautiful tribute to a friend- mom, a special someone you endeared.

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