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Father Means...

Family is the most important group that we will belong to in this life. I love mine. Let's talk about family, ur.... read about it.

,,.having dad moments many. The good daddying means that any way. Let's face it. There are men out here who do not take the full responsibility of fathering a child past the few minutes of creating a physical body. That being the truth, there are billions of us men who dad kids. We adopt them, we mentor them, or we co-dad them with another biological dad--or just another man. We dad them, most of us, because we love them and feel responsible to them. The following are some daddying moments.

I checked the photos of her birth to make sure she wasn't right, though.

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Dad Moment One - After the Story Dad.

The Mom and three of the kids sat in a room talking with one of my older girls' friends loudly as the women in my family do. They sat together talking about the boyfriend of my older girls' friend--about how he was out of touch with the average person, about how he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.

All the while these women spoke, my young daughter, 10, sat listening with a contemplative face, considering the words these women spoke of this poor man's life, the boyfriend.

"What is being born with a silver spoon mean in your mouth," the ten-year-old asked wide-eyed, but confused.

"It means you never had to really want for anything or work hard in your life," one of the older women instructed.

The ten-year-old sat for a minute absorbing that definition. She then said with all seriousness. "Then, I was born with a stick in my mouth."

After the uproarious laughter, I took notice and received the story. The girl born with a wooded stick in her mouth did not elaborate. I checked the photos of her birth to make sure she wasn't right, though.

The three-year-old says, "No," at first. Gratification fills my bosom. I had won. I intimidate the toddler.

Seeing that his "No" triggered no response he amended his decision and says, "Yes, I do!"

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Dad Moment Two - Do What I'm Doing Dad.

Standing in the kitchen on an Easter Sunday, I was preparing dinner for the family. Mother sat in one room while my wife and a few of our kids sat in the dining room turned den awaiting the food to finish.

One kid was crying, another kid was singing, another was reading, another was tampering with the laptop, and one was tampering with the dad in the kitchen. It was boy-child of three years.

One thing the dad did not like was to be tampered with in the kitchen! The three-year-old boy-child bothered the watermelon on the center counter as he sat at a stool chair with his plastic sword.

Banging on it, he was explaining to his five-year-old brother how we wanted to connect his sword with the "thing." Tod this day, the "thing" is a mystery.

"...'cause I want to cut that watermelon," he proclaims banging the melon intensely.

"No," I, the dad, said. "Stop messing with that watermelon."

"Nah," the tiny tyke responded. "I want to cut it," banging harder on the melon to my consternation.

I call him by the five-year-old's name in frustration, who corrects me immediately that it was the three-year-old kid-boy to which I should direct my frustration and not him. I say, "Do you really want to go down this road?"

I thought I was being mysterious and foreboding, a dad-tactic that worked on the ones before him.

The three-year-old says, "No," with a bit of an attitude, but my dad-tactic had worked! Gratification filled my bosom. I had won! I intimidate the kid-boy toddler!

Seeing that his "No" of his triggered no response from me, the dad, he amended his decision and said jubilantly, "Yes, I do!"

"If you go down this road with me," I threatened, "You're gonna get your feelings hurt."

Without skipping a beat the three-year-old kid-boy responded, "You're gonna get your hurt!"

I supposed that is all he could remember that I, the dad, had said. All I could think was there was nothing I could do at that moment! The kid-boy mocked me!

"Aight" was all I said, irritated by the noise the other kid-children made and trying to fry fish with limited cooking oil. I, the dad, was annoyed also with toddler-boy's not experiencing afraid-ness, challenging me!

My wife called the boy by name telling him, "Stop talking to your daddy like that."

That toddler tells his mom, "He talks to me like that." The nerve!

The mom responded, "So? He's the daddy. You're the child. You don't talk to your daddy like that."

The kid-boy tells his mom, "I can talk to him like that if I want to!"

Really! I planned then for a good old-fashioned spanking! She tells the three-year-old to go to his room to which he responds, "I was just joking."

He then proceeds to mock me, repeating every word I said to him. I yell to my wife in frustration. She tells him to go play. That was the fifth time I was a dad, my fifth born. A three-year-old... He never went to his room!

Later in the video, I am shown mocking one of my other kids, a kid-girl. I was just joking. I have no idea where my three-year-old learned it from, though.

"I was looking at magazines with naked women in them," he finally admits.

Dad Moment Three - Coming out Dad.

My boy sat in the van with tears in his eyes, shaking with dread as he opened his mouth to say the words, "Dad, I think I am Gay."

Taken aback by the admission, my mind went into a whirlwind of directions. I wondered what to tell his mom. I wondered how he came to that conclusion! I remembered the training I learned at a leader training not to respond to his admission with any emotion other than calm acceptance. I had read The One-Minute Manager too! I was ready for this.

"What makes you feel you are Gay, son?" I patted myself on the back for responding with the right question and waiting for the answer without rushing him.

"I was looking at magazines with naked women in them," he finally admits.

Wow, he wasn't even a preteen! We hadn't even had the talk about how life is created. This was the day I was looking forward to having. He was too young!

I explained to him gently that it is natural for boys to want to explore their sexuality and that looking at naked women was not a sign that he was Gay. I told him that he was heterosexual, in fact, because he was attacked to girls.

Was I relieved? Yes. I wasn't ready for the puberty talk, but I was not at all ready for a gender-alternative talk. I did cartwheels in my head! I did not want a son who was a Lesbian, who identified as a girl.

I figure he heard some things at school that made him think it was "Gay" to look at nudes of women. I don't know if that is the correct thing to say in this political environment, but I had a boy and hoped he would remain a boy who wanted to marry a girl in the future.

I also let him know that if he did want to be with the same sex, I love him and accept him. No, being a dad is not always funny or fun. Being a dad is accepting the person you get to dad.

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I love all seven of my fatherhoods.

Dad Meaning a Poem

Being a dad is about experiencing moments.

...all types of moments and remembering them.

Being a dad is hell.

It is heaven.

It is heartache.

It's being proud.

It's timeouts or spankings.

It's rolling on the floor dodging kids!

It's being choke by a toddler!

It's being choked up with emotion.

It shouldn't be losing a kid.

It's sometimes looting a kid.

It's being hate.

It's being adored.

It means loving the mother who made you a dad.

It means hating her sometimes.

Being a dad means being human.

It means being a responsible man.

It means being a jerk, sometimes.

Being a day means loving a child because...

Fatherhood can be a rewarding precious gift if those of us who have children are willing to put the effort into being present. I love my fatherhood. I love all seven of my fatherhoods. I want to be more fatherhoods.

© 2021 Rodric Anthony

Comments

Rodric Anthony (author) from Surprise, Arizona on June 08, 2021:

Linda, I hope this is the first of a few of these types of articles. My kids are awesome and provide me with many stories to tell. I love them. I have to be careful with sharing the stories, though. I don't want to get in trouble with any of the girls. I stick to boy stories mostly for that reason! Thanks for reading. I appreciate your words.

Rodric Anthony (author) from Surprise, Arizona on June 08, 2021:

Bill, I love being a dad. I love learning how to love another person in the right way without trying to control them. I did not have my dad active in my childhood, but he was there when I was becoming an adult. He did what he could and that is what I have learned to do. Thank you for your vote of confidence. Most of the hard work is done by my wife!

Rodric Anthony (author) from Surprise, Arizona on June 08, 2021:

Chitrangada, my kids are such a blessing to me. I look at my wife and thank her for producing and nurturing my kids how are mostly adults now. I blessed. I would be a liar if I said anything to the opposite. It is my prayer that charity, pure love is gifted to me before this life is finished.

Rodric Anthony (author) from Surprise, Arizona on June 08, 2021:

Thanks for reading Pamela! I have a house full of teens and young adults now. I miss those early days in life with the young ones. I have been looking at old family videos, of which I have many. It is like going back in time.

Linda Lum from Washington State, USA on June 08, 2021:

Anyone can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad. You've got this, and your stories prove it. Your little ones are adorable, and the love you have in your heart for them (and they for you) simply oozes out of these stories. I hope you'll share more.

And, Happy Fathers Day.

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on June 08, 2021:

What a fun read. What a loving read. I have no doubt in my mind that you embody everything it means to be a dad.

Chitrangada Sharan from New Delhi, India on June 08, 2021:

An interesting and heartfelt article about fatherhood. I liked your dad stories, and I believe, that you have a heart full of love, care and responsibility. You are blessed and the ones, who call you Dad are more blessed.

Thank you for sharing.

Pamela Oglesby from Sunny Florida on June 08, 2021:

I really enjoyed reading this article, Rodric. Your children are adorable. I loved the dad stories, which are so typical of being a parent, and it sounds like you have a house full of children. What a blessing!

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