Don't Be Boring
In the last few weeks, a number of people at work celebrated their birthdays. They were milestone birthdays too - including a 50th and 60th! As usual, a card gets passed around for co-workers to sign. By the time it reached me there were a lot of inscriptions already. Reading them quickly, I put myself in the shoes of the "birthday boy".
"All the best mate - Stu"
"Happy Birthday! - Jim"
...What a boring card! These people didn't even make the effort!
That's why I've decided to be original. And funny.
Writing limericks has been a thing I've enjoyed recently here on HubPages thanks to Paraglider's Forum Thread, so I've decided to do a Hub mini-series on limericks for special occasions.
Introducing: Birthday Limericks
60th Birthday Limerick - I Used This Today
One of our procurement boys at work had his 60th birthday coming up. At least, people thought it was his 60th. Then they weren't sure. A lovely young lass in our office had the task of buying the card. Seeing as we were no longer sure if it was a milestone birthday, she bought a HAPPY 70th BIRTHDAY card as a joke!
A colleague wrote:
"They say you're only as old as you feel, and we felt 70 was about right, haha!"
- Classic! I couldn't top that. Then I figured: nobody had done a limerick before...
So I wrote:
This crew's providing some cheek:
They make it like you're an antique!
I don't think you're that old
When you get there, I'm told
You'll know, when your joints start to squeek!
50th Birthday Limerick
When you hit that half century milestone
You get anxious and let out a small groan
But calm down and relax
It's only 45.45 + tax!
Drink up, enjoy the party that we've thrown
Other Milestone Birthdays
"The second best decade" it's declared
"After your 20's" - are you shit scared?
The mind will go first,
Then your hearing - that's worse!
I'm just glad I've a while 'fore I get there!
Cliché Related Birthday Limericks
When you get a crap present you hate
And fake your joy just a little too late...
It sucks, so I thought
You'd appreciate nought !!
(That will spare you the awkwardness, mate!)
Hey Birthday [Boy/Girl]! - Guess who?
On behalf of me and my crew
We just wanted to say:
Hope you have a great day
And we hope all your wishes come true!
Don't you hate it when all your joints ache?
When many candles are crushing your cake?
It just leads to depression...
Change your facial expression!
Put your dentures in - smile FFS!! =)
"Don't cut the cake all the way to the base!"
Blow every candle or else you will face:
"Ooh (s)he's got ___ lovers
And some secret admirers"
(It's always the rellies - in every case!)
On your special day... we party each year!
And we come over to drink all your beer!
We will sing out of tune
Eat some cake and commune
When it's our turn we all disappear!
Submit Your Own Here!
I'd love to hear some of your own original birthday limericks!
Feel free to write them below!
Idioms For Idiots - for an added challenge, incorporate an idiom into your limerick!
Nat Chumley on February 07, 2015:
Happy birthday to you
Surprised at how quick the year flew?
Years go by fast,
each one seems sooner than last,
At least that's been my point of view.
gabriell desooza on January 19, 2012:
i was eating an ice cream
in a bowl full of mice and steam
i wanted to have plain eggs rather instead
but i couldn't have them or else i am dead
then i just ate my sweet icecream.
Troy Raney on July 22, 2010:
Turning 50 is a quite something to acquire. For some their life slows for retire. But you're far from being down, so discard that old frown, and help us put out your cake, it's on fire! -EC and Friends
osws_bluemoon on September 27, 2009:
Limericks are great for greetings cards as they are so easy to personalise. You have some amusing examples, thanks for directing me here, I enjoyed the read :)
marcofratelli (author) from Australia on September 04, 2009:
Thanks SweetiePie!! :)
SweetiePie from Southern California, USA on September 03, 2009:
This limerick thing is sure catching on here at Hubpages. I enjoyed your birthday limericks, and I will look out for more on various topics.
marcofratelli (author) from Australia on August 30, 2009:
Haha lovely!! :) Good to be back.
Yep, tomorrow is a new day. That's what my dad used to tell me. He was only wrong once! LOL
wordscribe41 on August 30, 2009:
You're 50, better prepare for your wake.
Too many candles to put on a cake.
First, it's glaucoma,
then retirement home flank steak!
Great hub! How are you? Sorry about the relapse, marco... But, hey... tomorrow's a new day, huh? Great to see you here.