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Your Accomplishments Do Not Define You

Society has some very elitist and misguided ideas about what constitutes success. And who is more contributing to society. Popular thinking holds that a person who went to Oxford is smarter and better than someone who attended in less-known university. A medical degree is way more valuable than a fine-art degree. The father businessman who earns millions of dollars makes him more successful than a man who prioritizes parenting his kids at home. The student with an athletic scholarship and average marks is less hardworking than a one with a franchise scholarship and total A’s. And lately, a teenager with 20k followers on Instagram is more valuable than a one with 200 followers.

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When will this wrong-headed idea be a backdown instead of a motivation?

When someone believes that his value and self-worth depend on his educational or career achievements, or after meeting deadlines or exceeding certain goals.

His happiness and self-esteem will always depend on the results: If he succeeds, he’ll be happy and content about himself which will push him forward to thirst for more to achieve more. However, if He fails he’ll struggle, and fell into despair which leads even to questioning his abilities and the worthiness of his dreams that will relent him and hold him back.

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What happens when you relate your worth to your productivity?

You fell into Stagnation, the gnawing sense that your life is meaningless because you provide nothing which makes you feel useless and unneeded.

Many psychology studies of adult development, gave an evident fact sums up that for people to thrive, they need to feel like they are contributing and have a role to play in their communities, and be a part of the game of life:

They ask someone who had been employed for a decent amount of time and responsible of a family he declarde that he feels useless, not needed and not having the ability to provide the necessities to his kids and the money wasn't enough makes him feel like a dope, an asshole.

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Another man was asked as well, a novelist was going through a rough patch in his career and suffers from what is called the writer's stagnation. When he got a call that offered him a position to be the teacher of creative writing at a university, he said that he felt as if the offer confirmed his usefulness.

For the first man, the denial of that opportunity was a bitter blow. For the second the opportunity to be generative gave him a purpose. And for both of them, as for most people, unemployment wasn’t just an economic issue; it was an existential one. Because when people don’t feel like they have something worthwhile to do, they flounder. That explains why rates of unemployment and suicide rise together.

Success shouldn’t be centered on achieving the highest positions or meeting society’s expectations:

Achievements shouldn’t be counted by numbers of rewards or people standing to congratulate you. Your ability to manage your life and feel satisfied with how it’s running so far is the biggest success. There will be days when even getting out of bed is an accomplishment and worth feeling content to complete.

For the woman who decides to dedicate her time to her carrier, getting promoted is her most important accomplishment. Although a woman who chooses to have a family and settle down at young age, getting married and finding the right guy to start her family with, is her definition of success.

The father who's aware of his kids' life’s details, how their days were at school, what their hobbies and talents are, what kind of feelings and habits they are developing. Is a man worthy to be awarded and congratulated because he's giving the world sane future members. On the other hand, the housewife who decides to take a day off once in a decade to have some me-time, to take care of herself, and take a break from her exhausting responsibilities, well the decision itself is an accomplishment because she needs to be well-taking care of to be able to give the society what’s it expected from her.

Anyone who decided to drop out of school and begin his own business is as hardworking as someone who’s attending the finest colleges. Meaning that the candidate who has enough knowledge and skills to do a certain job even without a college degree is as qualified for the same position as the graduated candidates.

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Redefining Success in life:

Being a successful person isn’t only about lifetime achievements; your degrees do not define how a hard worker you are. It’s about being a kind, wise, and generous human being. Is about enjoying your life’s trip and dealing with good and bad days. It’s when you realize that life is no longer about charting your own course, but about helping others, whether it’s by raising children, mentoring colleagues, taking care of yourself, or creating something new and useful for the world.

Cultivating these qualities brings people’s vision to another level of self-satisfaction, which makes them stronger to face setbacks with resilience and meet death with peace. These are the characteristics of success that we should be using to define our own and the success of others in life, especially our children.

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