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Why do people quarrel?

I am a wide reader, I can finish a 400-page novel in one to two sitting, about 2-3 hours only.

why-do-people-quarrels

The Art of Fighting

Historically, people fight for many reasons to achieve their personal goal. Like in war, they fight because they want to conquer one's land. The beauty of another land is the one needed to conquer. However, the residents of that beautiful land needs to defend it. So, there is already war.

They fight for a specific reason. They fight for something wanted to achieve. They fight because they want to defend themselves.

How could you fight if you have no reason to fight on? Nevertheless, the fight is clueless. The fight is senseless.

If the fight is senseless, why there is a fight?

No fight, no goal. No goal, no victory.

Relationship Goal

Sometimes, there is a fight to achieve a relationship goal. In particular, one country will try to set a war to a nearby country in order to have a good relationship in the future. Cool? Good relationship in a war. Why they have to fight for nothing? Take it for example, centuries ago, 1521, when Spain conquer the Philippines, their goal that time was to have the spices somewhere in Celebes Sea in which at the Southern part of the Philippines. And because the wind, their ships landed in the island called Limasawa.

Then, they reach Mactan, Cebu in which they fought with Lapu Lapu in which became the first Filipino hero written. However, there were some write ups that LapuLapu was not the first Filipino Hero, it was Makisig, a boy who told to LapuLapu about a possible conquerors.

And history count on, there is a fight in which Magellan was killed by LapuLapu. And after the death of Magellan, Spaniards retreat.

That was a temporarily retreat because there's only a preparation for a big way to conquer the whole land. And I would say thank to them (Spaniards) because if they do not conquer the Philippines, what would be the name of my precious country now? In which, Philippines came from then Spaniards King Phillip.

I am writing this not to give favor to the Spaniards nor to the Filipinos, however, it is for a benefit of the doubt, why do people quarrel?

If they do not quarrel (an antonym if fighting), is there peace?

Peace cannot be determined if there is no quarreling between two people or two countries.


why-do-people-quarrels

Man and woman quarrel

Why two people quarrel? Why there is an issue of quarreling? Why two people needs to fight?

Few hours ago before I am writing this article, me and my wife has a little misunderstanding and ends with a verbal argument.

That verbal argument is just like a clueless understanding how we started a negative conversation. Why we have to throw words that was not supposed to throw? I know it was my mistakes.

What was the reason why we have an argumentation?

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She planned to go to her cousin for lunch about 2 kilometers away from our residence. At first, it was okay with me. Until, few minutes, we supposed to leave, I asked for a simple hug not totally to make love (you know, what I mean for mature people), however, she refused to give a hug.

And that was the start of the argumentation. I do not want to go to her cousin's place just for a lunch. I am not in the mood anymore. I much prefer to stay in the house to wait my eldest son. And she left with full of anger. She will fetch our youngest son at the school first before going to her cousin. Our youngest son will be out from school at 12 noon. While the eldest is two in the afternoon. As of this writing, my eldest is already here in the house and asked, where are they? Specifically asking about his mother and his younger brother. I just answered, they took their lunch from the cousin of his mother.

And of course, two hours after my wife left, I haven't taken my lunch yet. My tummy is already not happy. Questioning my decision, why I did not go for that lunch to make my stomach much happier.

So, there it go, how will I decide now? I do not know, what to do? Should I follow together with eldest son? But, I do not know, where is the exact place. I have no heart to call my wife and say sorry for what I did.

Of course, my eldest son is already in stomach full because he had a lunch from school. How about me? How can I fulfill the sentiment of my stomach? How could I say sorry to my stomach who already starting to do a revolution?

A revolution in my inner to not to think a lot what to do?

So help me God.



This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2019 Luis G Asuncion

Comments

Luis G Asuncion (author) from City of San Jose Del Monte, Bulacan, Philippines on January 18, 2020:

God will always provide. Although, I have problem with money right now. However, I rely to God always.

manatita44 from london on January 18, 2020:

Thanks, Perhaps to Palawan or Samal, if I find the cash.

Luis G Asuncion (author) from City of San Jose Del Monte, Bulacan, Philippines on January 18, 2020:

Hope to see you soon here when you go back.

manatita44 from london on January 18, 2020:

Wow! The beach is amazing there, though I hear that the tourists are too many now. So the more discerning branch out to Samar Island and … I'm hungry. I have forgotten the other. I'll remember soon.

Luis G Asuncion (author) from City of San Jose Del Monte, Bulacan, Philippines on January 18, 2020:

Yes. I will pray for you tomorrow. By the way, my wife was born in Cebu.

manatita44 from london on January 18, 2020:

Awesome!

I have not mentioned my visits so far. But I have stayed in Cebu, Boracay, Mactan island and manila. Beautiful people and your wife seems a beautiful woman. Pray for me tomorrow. Much Love.

Luis G Asuncion (author) from City of San Jose Del Monte, Bulacan, Philippines on January 18, 2020:

Thanks Manatita for the prayer. Tomorrow is Sunday here in Manila, even lack of money, we will reserve tomorrow going to church for praise and worship.

manatita44 from london on January 18, 2020:

It's natural. Ask Nikki for advice. We all want to be happy and your wife needs to feel secure and without fear. Perhaps you're doing what you can, of course.

Try the beautiful shopping centre in Manila. Talk to friends. My prayer is that you have a little more soon.

Luis G Asuncion (author) from City of San Jose Del Monte, Bulacan, Philippines on January 17, 2020:

Had a fight with my wife since yesterday because I don't have money.

Luis G Asuncion (author) from City of San Jose Del Monte, Bulacan, Philippines on November 24, 2019:

Thanks Devika, enjoy your weekend too. Stay as always. Thanks for dropping by.

Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on November 24, 2019:

Hi Luis G Asuncion I am glad to be of help enjoy your Sunday.

Luis G Asuncion (author) from City of San Jose Del Monte, Bulacan, Philippines on November 23, 2019:

Thanks Devika, I will change my title with that. If I am allowed to change it. Maybe it just so happened that I accidentally misspelled it. Thanks for the observation.

Luis G Asuncion (author) from City of San Jose Del Monte, Bulacan, Philippines on November 23, 2019:

Cool my son. Those are your favorites. Thanks for dropping by here.

Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on November 23, 2019:

Why do people quarrels? An interesting title but it should read Why do People Quarrel? I don't mean to be rude just trying to help. You covered important points.

Sam Asuncion on November 23, 2019:

the war in this story is like Moblie legends, clash of clans, pirates of carribean plague of the dead. is all about defending our beautiful island or place because we want to live in a longer days, months, years, and decades......

Luis G Asuncion (author) from City of San Jose Del Monte, Bulacan, Philippines on November 23, 2019:

Wow, great Lynne. Hope your silly quarrel with your sister will not go beyond to serious quarrel. Ok.

Lynne Samuel from Malaysia on November 23, 2019:

Interesting read, Luis. Funny enough, I was in a playful quarrel with my sister just now. We both just hate to lose, however silly our reasons. We made up though, lol!

Luis G Asuncion (author) from City of San Jose Del Monte, Bulacan, Philippines on November 23, 2019:

Thanks for the support Liz. Thanks for dropping by.

Liz Westwood from UK on November 22, 2019:

You have tackled an interesting and very relevant topic. It seems to me that often the quarrelling is easier than sorting out the problems between individuals and groups. Ideally it is best to stop early and resolve issues, but too often quarrels escalate into something more serious.

Luis G Asuncion (author) from City of San Jose Del Monte, Bulacan, Philippines on November 22, 2019:

Thanks Brother Manatita. It is my pleasure you took your time to comment here. I appreciate it. In relation with this, back in the ancient time, in the Bible, I do not know the exact reasons, why they fight each other. Of course, maybe to conquer each land.

Luis G Asuncion (author) from City of San Jose Del Monte, Bulacan, Philippines on November 22, 2019:

Yes, Eric. I agree with you. Whatever the reason of the quarrel, make it sure that we have to solve it within the maximum of 24 hours only. Thanks for commenting.

manatita44 from london on November 22, 2019:

Very nice, my Brother.

You have practicalized it and made it simple. We fight for what my Christianity called the seven deadly sins. I have written about this using an Eastern style approach and called it The Five Cardinal Vices. You have covered them all. Actually, they won't change.

Man from time immemorial, has always been fighting for the same inherent reasons: Here is the Yogic approach;

Ahamkara (Ego, vanity or pride)

Attachment (Moha)

Greed (Lobo)

Anger or wrath (Kroda)

Lust, passion, desire (Kama)

One can add more, obviously, but they spring from the original five and are usually a by-product. Some very obvious but necessary practical ideas. Om Shanti! La Paz!

Eric Dierker from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on November 22, 2019:

Thanks. Buddy I needed this. My friend and I have quarreling lately and we hugged just this morning. That is how we have rolled for forty years.

Luis G Asuncion (author) from City of San Jose Del Monte, Bulacan, Philippines on November 22, 2019:

Yes, in our case as husband and wife, we do not put our quarreling into history. We make sure that any arguments that we had, it will not last long. The longest will be 24 hours or less. Thanks for sharing Bill. I am appreciating your comment here.

Luis G Asuncion (author) from City of San Jose Del Monte, Bulacan, Philippines on November 22, 2019:

Thanks for the advice Lorna. I do appreciate it. Since you've enjoy about the history of Spain and the Philippines, I will try my best to research something about it. And I am gladly to share it here.

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on November 22, 2019:

Good information and an interesting discussion about quarreling.....don't let them linger, clear the air with a discussion, place ego on the shelf...and move on.

Lorna Lamon on November 22, 2019:

An interesting article which tackles the age old question of why we quarrel. I enjoyed reading about the history of Spain and the Phillippines which I wasn't aware of, so it's nice to learn something new. My advice on quarrels is don't let them linger.

Luis G Asuncion (author) from City of San Jose Del Monte, Bulacan, Philippines on November 22, 2019:

Now you know Pamela about Spain and the Philippines. Hope, I gave you a background history of my country. Anyway, for quarrels, because of some misunderstanding, it goes, however, as of this writing this comment, my wife is already sleeping, it is already 11:21 in the evening here in the Philippines. Before she slept, we are now in good situation.

Thanks for the comment.

Pamela Oglesby from Sunny Florida on November 22, 2019:

I didn't remember or didn't know about Spain and the Philippines. That was very interesting.

As for quarrels, unfortunately they happen. So often they are just little matters that could be easily settled. I am not one to give advice though. We all have to figure out how to solve our problems.

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