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Why You Should Spend More Time Alone

Mazlan has a passion for health and fitness. He enjoys yoga, cycling, home workouts, and healthy food.


The Benefits of Spending Time Alone

We equate being alone by ourselves as a failure, of being sad and lonely. We also fear what people think of us. Are we being antisocial? To quote Yoko Ono, "being alone is difficult".

Most people do not truly appreciate the importance of being alone until they have kids. Children are a blessing and are the center of our world. Occasionally you need to be away from them to give time to yourself and love them even more.

The study by Christopher R. Long and James R. Averill, "Solitude: An Exploration of Benefits of Being Alone", concluded that solitude, in contrast to loneliness, is often a positive state. It should be sought rather than avoided. Being alone is not the same as loneliness.

Being alone does have its benefits and can be quite healthy. Here's why:

Find Your Inner Wisdom

Have you experience hearing a voice inside you, telling you what to do?

What is Your Inner Voice?

That voice is actually your soul. It can only be heard when you are in a peaceful mood and alone. When you follow that voice's instruction, it is intuition.

Studies in intuitive counseling show that it is possible to develop your intuition and hear more of that inner voice. That voice needs your full attention and if you learn how to do this on a regular basis, you will see the benefits.

As reported in this BBC article, learning how to tune into your thoughts will help you on an individual level.

How to Listen to Your Inner Voice

You can start by spending twenty minutes alone. You can do this when you are having your hot bath or drinking your favorite tea.

Learn to experience this moment to find that inner wisdom. Pay attention to your emotions and inner voice patterns. There will be lots of emotions and your mind might take over. This is common. However, if you pay attention to the first answer that comes through, then that's your inner voice talking.

Doing this can also help to rejuvenate your soul and heal your body.

As I get older I'm more and more comfortable being alone

— Sienna Miller

Find Your Inner Self

Do you want to know your inner self? Do you want to know the values and beliefs that you discovered for yourself and not told by others?

What is Inner Self

Inner self, as defined by Merriam-Webster, is the emotional and spiritual part of someone. It is your personal internal identity that is closely linked to your beliefs, values, and goals.

How do You Find Your Inner Self?

Spending time alone will help you find who you are, your life purpose, your goal, and your visions. Finding your inner self does not happen within a couple of days or months. It is a lifelong process.

When you focus on spending time alone and finding your inner self, you start to align your life with it. This is when you start to live a conscious life.

Meditation can also clear your mind and helps you find your inner self.

Being Alone is to Be More Independent

Spending more time alone will make you less dependent and reliant on others. You learn to do things yourself, learn to cope with life when you suddenly are alone and learn to have faith in yourself. It can even promote a less stressful lifestyle, which means better health.

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This healthy independence may take a while to develop, so take one step at a time.

Alone by Yourself Gives Time to Daydream

Spending time alone gives you space to daydream in quiet solitude. It let you contemplate your next move and dream about your future.

Daydreaming is good for your soul and mind. You work out your fantasy and it makes you feel better.

Daydreaming is also associated with creativity. The outcome of the study by Jasper Schilder, Faculty of Humanities, Tilburg University, suggests that the most creative moments are when daydreaming.


Being Alone Let You Learn to Relax

Stress from deadline pressures, multitasking at erratic hours, and competing demands from your office and family can sometimes be too much.

Alone by yourself help you to de-stress and unwind. It allows you to clear your mind and forget momentarily all those issues. It allows you to stop and breathe again and be at ease with yourself.

Being Alone to Do Things You Like

Do you find it difficult to spare extra hours to do things that you like? If you have commitments to other people, then this has to be on hold.

Being alone gives you the space to do things that you like or do things with someone you like.

You do not have to conform to others and be influenced by them. You have the opportunity to do things that you truly enjoy.

Do you remember when was the last time you actually spend time alone?

How to Spend Time Alone

Do Things That You Love

Spending time alone does not mean keeping yourself busy with things that you had put off for a long time. It is the time to do things that you love. It can be for a facial, a massage, joining a cooking class, or do something new and creative.

Try something new that you will not be bored with. Some people need the courage to try something new. But once you have summoned this courage, you feel satisfied with this simple accomplishment.

Be Out and About

Get out from the comfort of your home and spend time alone at your favorite park, restaurant, museum, etc. Go somewhere where you will not bump into anyone you know. You can explore further and visit a neighboring city.

If you are the adventurous type to try an extreme sport, now is the time. Alternatively, you can go hiking by yourself but make sure others know of your plan.

Or Stay Home

If going out is too much of a hassle, then stay home and enjoy things that you have always wanted to do. Have a relaxing bath, have meals delivered, or watch movies.

You can do your reading and writing on things that are of special interest to you.

Switch off your phone and enjoy the uninterrupted moment.

Value Your Time Alone

"Weird people follow you in the streets, you can't sit alone in a restaurant or a cafe and read a book in peace, and I think everybody values those moments of being alone" - Winona Ryder

As rightly said by Ms. Winona Ryder, you value your time alone more after you realized how difficult it is to be on your own. As mentioned earlier in this article, most people realized the importance of spending time alone only after having kids.

It is essential to spend some time alone for its many physical and psychological benefits. Forget for a moment about work, or what is going on in other people's life.

Care for yourself and for your own happiness first.

Additional References

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and does not substitute for diagnosis, prognosis, treatment, prescription, and/or dietary advice from a licensed health professional. Drugs, supplements, and natural remedies may have dangerous side effects. If pregnant or nursing, consult with a qualified provider on an individual basis. Seek immediate help if you are experiencing a medical emergency.

© 2012 Mazlan A

Time Alone in a Relationship Comments

Mazlan A (author) from Malaysia on August 03, 2015:

No matter how busy a person is, they must find at least a few minutes for themselves. It is a simple and cheap therapy, but unfortunately not many can afford to do it. Thanks for dropping by and sharing your thoughts, kiwinana

Elsie Hagley from New Zealand on July 23, 2015:

I love having time by myself, but don't seem to find the time, my aging husband is just around the corner needing help.

I should be used to no time for myself after 55 years of marriage and five children.

Happy days.

Mazlan A (author) from Malaysia on September 13, 2014:

Au fait, there are many advantages of being an introvert. In the book 'Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking' shows that introverts are warm & caring people. You are right about extroverts who try hard to please others and forget of their own needs. Thanks for dropping by and sharing your thoughts and feelings.

C E Clark from North Texas on September 12, 2014:

I've always been an introvert and a loner. I prefer working and being alone when possible. Have to have my rejuvenating alone time everyday, as being around people for very long wears me out emotionally, psychologically, and it affects me physically as a result too.

It's great to be with people for a while, but then I need to go back to my woman-cave and recharge. Never have had trouble finding things to do and rarely feel lonely. One can be lonely in a crowd after all.

Interesting article, and hopefully it will help people who are trying so hard to be extroverts pleasing other people and ignoring their own needs, to rethink what they're doing.

sarahshuihan on January 02, 2013:

This is great! I don't think people take time for themselves, it leads to too much stress. I know some people think that spending time by themselves is something selfish, particularly if you have kids. I don't think that at all.

Robert Erich from California on October 30, 2012:

This is a great article. The very first quote was one that I could relate with perfectly, and the rest of the article followed suit. It took me a while to get used to being stuck with myself, however, it can be very rewarding, as you have mentioned, to take trips (or just stay at home) on your own. Well written article!

Mazlan A (author) from Malaysia on October 26, 2012:

@Billybuc, you are right about finding growth and contentment. To some people, this may be easy whilst to others it may not. Thanks for sharing.

@sandrabusby Thanks for sharing your opinion

@searchinsany Yes, it is good to be alone but you must not feel lonely. Thanks for stopping by and commenting

@teaches12345, Glimmer Twin Fan and lindacee, Thank you all for sharing and the compliment and vote.

Linda Chechar from Arizona on October 25, 2012:

Love this Hub! I find that on occasion I need alone time. Even if it is just taking the dog for a long walk. It quiets my mind and helps me get away from the problems of the day. If I had to choose, I think I would prefer to spend time alone rather than in the company of others.

Claudia Porter on October 23, 2012:

I love to be alone. In fact my husband thinks I need to make more friends, but I have always been like this. I'm quite independent because of it. There are times when I enjoy being with others. I also find I get more done when I am alone. Interesting hub!

Dianna Mendez on October 21, 2012:

I love having my daily alone time. I rejuvenate my outlook on life and refresh my inner being as well. Mostly, I spend time reflecting upon how much God has helped me to achieve my happiness in life. Great post here and voted way up!

Alexander Gibb from UK on October 21, 2012:

Lots of good advice. I travelled a lot in my job and was often alone but never lonely.

Sandra Busby from Tuscaloosa, Alabama, USA on October 21, 2012:

Very true. Silence and solitude are indispensable for getting in touch with your intuition.

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on October 21, 2012:

I completely agree! I have always believed that once you have reached the time in life when you are comfortable being alone, then you have truly found growth and contentment. It is so valuable to take time for yourself, for reflection and for peace of mind.

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