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Why People Struggle With Self-Confidence

Dione is an Author, Life Coach, and Blogger focusing on spiritual beliefs and underlying emotional and perceptual issues many people endure.

Trust Is at the Core of Your Confidence

If you are struggling with self-confidence, you're not alone. Eighty-five percent of people suffer from low self-esteem. The highs and lows of life affect individuals differently. People are born to unique sets of circumstances. These conditions include religion, social, environmental, and economic, to name a few—the conditions people are born into help to shape their outlook in life. Low confidence stops people from living the life they truly deserve. It's time to get to the core of this debilitating issue and create the change you crave once and for all.

Trust is at the core of your confidence. Your quality of life depends on it. You are either against yourself or for yourself, and you can not do both at the same time. Whether you're aware of it or not, every moment of every day, you pick one.

How you treat yourself and what you allow from others is linked to the quality of your confidence. In this article, I will disclose some of the reasons people struggle with their confidence. You'll also uncover solutions that work when you remain vigilant. Push forward. You're worth the effort.


How Does Lack in Self-Confidence Occur?

Doubt and Fear

Babies are born with the ability to trust. Children have resilience, courage, and determination to keep trying no matter what. When babies learn how to walk and talk, they do so with intention and purpose but, most importantly, without fear. How did you become fearful if you're born with the ability to trust?

As an adult, trust diminishes based on the happenings in your life. There could be many reasons for your trauma. One example is the treatment you've received from other people throughout life. When people abandon, mistreat, or lie to you, you internalize the behavior and suffer through the pain. The trauma suffocates your joy, steals your peace, and leaves you fearful. Your happiness is gone, despondency occurs, and then confidence is lost.

Doubt and fear steal, kill and destroy your ability to focus on your goals. What you focus on increases, and when you focus on doubt, you'll question yourself, become indecisive and anxious, and want to give up. A doubtful and fearful mind can not serve you in reaching your goals. Turn away from doubt and fear by refocusing your intentions on your desired outcomes and keep it there. Tunnel vision is vital to success.

Your endeavors toward the desires of your heart can reveal greatness once you change your mindset. Trust the process, let go of details and believe in yourself. Show up for yourself and never lose hope. Don't allow doubt and fear to steal your joy. Hope gives. Fear takes. Instead, turn away from doubt and fear and give yourself the trust and confidence necessary to propel.


Starting from the moment you're born, your parents, siblings, teachers, and society had their opinions on who and what they felt you should be. They stuck their desires on you and expected you to live by them. If you don't meet their version of who they want you to be, they attack, condemn, and give faulty opinions. They offer compliments when you meet their needs and share unpleasantness when you don't. Luckily the favorable or obnoxious views they express aren't your facts.

When you are vulnerable and not yet aware of your true self, you listen to and internalize the vies of others, then allow them to make you feel good or bad. You're on a roller coaster ride of rejection and acceptance. Guilt, fear, and the belief that you've failed to meet their concepts destroy your self-esteem. Let it go. You were born to be the best version of yourself. Nobody else can be you but you! Honor and accept yourself. Don't surrender to the highs and lows of other people's interpretations.

People don't usually know how to embrace what they can not fully understand, and individuality is complex. Knowing who you are and correcting your perception is the only way to lead the life you desire. Look within, not without.

Human beings, unfortunately, judge because they have endured the ugly face of judgment themselves. Condemned, criticized, and hurt people blame and attack other people. It's a learned behavior that doesn't help anyone or anything. The feelings relating to judgment are destructive and produce strife. Break the cycle, judge nothing that occurs, not even yourself.

Once you love yourself and recognize your worth, opinions don't matter, and sabotage is a thing of the past. You stop entertaining commentary, and your efforts to defend yourself cease to exist. You are now free from good or bad judgments and can Be~YOU~tiful, with boldness!

Inner Conflict

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You Are either for Yourself or Against

You reject yourself or accept yourself, and you can not do both at the same time.

— Life Coach Dee

Negative Self Talk

Do you criticize yourself? Do you replay past hurts, mishaps, and or frustrations? Do you attach yourself to past or present mistakes? Do you conjure up fears about the future? Are you envious of others? Call yourself names? If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you're not alone. Negative self-talk is a struggle for many people.

In your heart is the resolve that contains gratitude, increase, and courage. You can retrain your brain to honor your virtue and learn to listen to your heart. Decide today to learn how to declare joy for yourself by reconnecting to your authentic self. Negative self-talk isn't the way to improve. Self-love, honor, and encouragement is the narrow path that leads to your extraordinary life.

Negative thoughts can torment you when normalized and accepted as facts. The truth is, your thoughts are just replaying hurts and disturbances from the past and projecting them onto your future. Your thoughts are circular patterns of programming, nothing more.

The mental dialogue you focus on fuels your heart which directs your emotional response. When your heart, mind, and emotions agree, you are in creation mode. You're attracting the people and circumstances you encounter in life. You can summon self-sabotage or increase. The law of attraction isn't a made-up thing. It's a universal law.

Redirect and Retraining Your Thoughts

Decide what you want—a heaven or hell mentality. With hell, there is lack, fear, doubt, worry, and despair. Bliss, health, wealth, happiness, and increase are heavenly. Be peaceful and intentional when setting your goals. Visualize your outcome. If you're not intentional, you'll get what everyone else doesn't want, the leftovers. The leftovers are pieces of heaven and hell thrown at you simultaneously. One moment you are happy and filled with bliss. The next, you are sorrowful and have the slightest clue as to why.

Thankfully, your thoughts can be altered and redirected with your direction. The bible tells us to refute theories and reasonings and every proud and loft thing that sets itself up against the true knowledge of God. 2 Corinthians 10:5 The true understanding of God comes in stillness which is how awareness is perceived. God is stillness. Be still and know that I am God. Psalms 46:10 To know is to be aware.

It's your job to program your mind. One of the jobs of your mind is to feed the heart. Once you learn to change the way you think and feel, you'll feel better about yourself. When you feel better about yourself, you'll make better choices, and your life changes for the better too!

Reprogramming your beliefs isn't something that happens overnight. But, I am telling you it's possible and essential in setting and reaching your intentions. Try listening to Jesus Calling Audiobook, it's helped me in my journey, and I'm sure it'll help you! Click the link below to check it out.

Enjoying Peace in His Presence Jesus Calling Audiobook


Presence Is the Practice for Awareness


When you are not present, you're not attentive to what circulates within your psyche. You become reactive instead of proactive. A noisy distressed mind indicates your inner world is in turmoil. You can not be present and troubled at the same time.

When stress and agitation are your practice, awareness, the source of peace, and harmony, is forgotten. Pay attention to your responses. Detach from your thoughts to diminish the intensity that's necessary for depletion. Without an emotional response to fuel thoughts, presence increases.

Assurance can't be given to you by someone else. Show up for yourself, develop and stick to a mindful practice. Practice replacing old negative ideas with new and rewarding ones. If you're new to mindfulness, mantras are easy starting points. A mantra is a word or sound repeated to aid concentration in meditation. There are many ways to increase your awareness. Find a technique that works for you. Practice the art of confidence by living as your best self, now!

This content is for informational purposes only and does not substitute for formal and individualized diagnosis, prognosis, treatment, prescription, and/or dietary advice from a licensed medical professional. Do not stop or alter your current course of treatment. If pregnant or nursing, consult with a qualified provider on an individual basis. Seek immediate help if you are experiencing a medical emergency.

© 2021 Dione Howard

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