Kiran Khannas a Nuclear Engineer, a die-hard blogger, and writes an article on personality/skills development for the leadership roles.
Are You Controlled?
If you are not happy, you are being controlled
Is your happiness depends on the external factor with whom you don’t have influence or control?
Do you look for happiness outside?
Do you watch endlessly motivational videos or reading inspirational books to get out of this state of depression?
This is the leading root of your problem since you have allowed the remote control of your life to someone independent to exploit the way they want. You have not only loved but also get attached to a level where your happiness is linked. So, how do you remain happy always, absolutely not if you give the ceded control of your happiness to others? This could be your husband, wife, kids & friends- all have the power to exploit you. This could be as simple as your friend not liked your Instagram post.
When you cede power in your life to social media followers and constantly do things you think will impress them or interest them or make them envious, you give those anonymous followers the power to shape your decisions and shape how you use your time. You’re no longer doing the things you want to do; you’re doing the things they want you to do and hoping for their approval.
This is exceedingly crucial. How to hold control over your happiness? And perhaps this explains running into a network of depression and screwing your life, career and future.
Can you escape this?
Yes, you can.
What can you do? It’s easy. Start taking control back. Even if you can’t fully wrest control of the situation back immediately (sometimes you can, but often the situation is deep enough that you can’t), you need to start down that path.
All you must do is to revisit the metrics and dependability of our happiness. Make those KPI’s independent variable for your aim function “Happiness” to maximize.
If someone doesn’t wish you on your birthday, how you can still enjoy? You have not to be invited or respected, still, you can be happy. We can understand it’s difficult, but also not impossible.
Your mind is your own personal space, the outer world doesn’t have the power to enter it unless you allow it to do so. Start creating the divine pure circle around you and practice this “I am the pure soul and I have the power to control my happiness” GOD is with me and I will celebrate my birthday with HIM. HIS unconditional love will always treat you with divine blessings. Get attached to HIM.
1. Explore Your Passion
The first step is to scribble the list of the things you are passionate about. It could be as simple as swimming, jogging, cooking, yoga, painting or developing your passion to the next level. If you are interested in writing, then making your own web content or writing blogs.
Distract yourself from the remote-control range/frequency and have self-control of your happiness. You need to reset the thoughts recycle that are killing you from inside.
2. Control Unnecessary Thoughts
Practice to remove unnecessary thoughts — for example, someone is not responding to your chat and you end up building several unnecessary negative conclusions/thoughts about that individual. This will deplete your energy and you need to conserve your energy with less and fewer thoughts. Same applies to the relations, we say relations are becoming complicated, which gives you stress.
Not really? It is the negative thoughts in your mind about that relationship that is giving you all the complications, not only in your mind but also in your physical body.
Doctors can remove the clots from your brain, but they cannot remove the negative thoughts that are creating this clot.
In your day-to-day life, you create many unnecessary thoughts like I know my boss, he never likes me. What are you gaining by creating these thoughts–Nothing right! or doing anything to reverse this? -you are wasting your energy by creating these negative thoughts endlessly.
3. Conserve Your Energy
You can do mindfulness by consciously not giving attention to routine activities which you don’t like. Like by giving your not required opinion or negative thought on something which happened daily, like your maid is not dusting properly. There’s no point yelling daily on your maid if you know nothing going to change. Why do? You need to conserve energy for the unexpected, unpleasant situations that you need to face. If you are healthy in your mind, you can face any conditions. Don’t discharge your battery by complaining every day.
4. Learn to say Gratitude
Take a situation where you could not able to meet your family or your son instead of cribbing or spoiling your mind with negative thoughts, express gratitude that “Thank God” for keeping you and your family or son safe. Convert complain to gratitude this is one way to convert negative parts to positive thoughts that will change your mind with positive energy. Start and end your day with gratitude–there is so much you should be grateful of.
5. Use High Energy-Positive Vocabulary
While you take an early morning shower, say loudly, I am a powerful, assertive and fearless being. This will make you strong against the influence of remote control or negative thoughts. Avoid scolding someone helplessly, showing anger and agitation. Instead, charge your battery with positive thoughts, stay calm — may listen to some motivational speech or spirituality.
6. Take care of Emotional Health
Spend an hour daily to make a good foundation for your emotional wellbeing.
You need to check the source of your thoughts –
Let go your Past-Experience -heal or clean it- difficult, but you can do by meditation. Do not hold the past anger or hurt, this will make you bitter and lesser loving person. Majority of the thinking is from your past, and it makes your future out of your past.
7. Conscious Full Stop
Use the word “FULL STOP”, again and again, STOP STOP whenever the past hurt/anger thoughts playing in your mind. Say I will not make me suffer because of the past. Don’t let anyone speaking about your hurtful past with you. Forcefully getaway and stop thinking about this.
8. Power of Chanting
Divert to good listening and let go of this past anger or hurt. Chant this “Let it go… Let it go…. Let it go… do this consciously every day or whenever the past came into it.
9. Delete Your Past
Possible? Try SHIFT+DELETE. This way old past will gradually go and rewritten again with good thoughts. This is IMPORTANT before this past impact your physical body because of stress, full pain & hurt thinking.
10. Conscious Efforts
These obsessive, dominant thoughts like Rejection- never go lean with time. Time is not always the best healer. You need to take some conscious step or make a next happy groove to replace the hurt groove. Stop thinking negative thoughts by experiencing the positive.
Be Patient. It takes time to learn how to stop negative thinking, but once learned you will be a much happier person.
11. Change your Belief System
Belief system — Your belief system should be comfortable, not competitive–like getting a promotion to the next level better make this as your career journey, which is not stressful to your mind and health.
12. Avoid Information
You need not investigate your emails on the phone as the first thing to do, the wrong start of the day. Keep your phone away from your reach for at least 1 hour of your high-frequency start.
13. Energize Yourself- Mindfulness
Spend time for your mind to gain energy at the start of the day and absorb spiritual thoughts and 10mins before going to bed to ensure not only your body but your mind takes rest. This is the process of energization.
14. Blessed Food and Water
Practice complete happiness whenever you cook food. This is the way to bring in positive energy to your food. Before taking food gives a very positive thought, you are eating blessed food and water for your body. See the miracle it will bring to your mind and body.
15. Wake Up at 4 am
Looks difficult but consider this a change in life-style.4 am has proven time when all the Divine Forces are near you to help. All you need a silence connect with these energies through deep meditation. Talk to your heart and empty your mind. I am practising this from the last several months and have given me results. I could now control my happiness and concentrate on what is important to me today at this moment. Try doing this, I would say it just shifting your cardinals clock from 4 am to 8 pm routine instead of 6 am to 10 pm. You will see suddenly you have a lot of time at your disposal.
16. Learn How to say "NO"
Many times you find themselves eventually trapped by a mountain of commitments and arrangements you brought on yourself by being unable to say “no” to others when they’re asked for something. This often leaves you feeling overwhelmed and unhappy and typically not performing at your best at any of those commitments. Be very wary of long-term commitments you can’t easily back out of.
The message in all of this is simple: most of you feel happiest when you have maximum control over your lives. When you cede control over your decisions to others, you bring unhappiness into your lives.
Take control. Cut those patterns out of your life. You’ll be happier henceforth for sure.
This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.
© 2020 kiran khannas