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What Not to Do as a Gentleman or a Lady

A modern day renaissance man who enjoys etiquette, gourmet cooking, brilliant music, and fine arts.

Your surroundings are a reflection of your person.

Your surroundings are a reflection of your person.

A gentleman never offends unintentionally.

— Oscar Wilde

Ladies and Gentlemen, at risk of sounding preachy, I wish to address some aspects of our culture that may be misinterpreted or unclear. I also wish to touch on some things one simply does not do, Gentleman or not.

Many of the items that I could touch on is (hopefully) common sense, like not urinating in public, so I leave those subjects for others to tackle. I chose the following topics, or rules if you will, with some thought to them. So without further ado, here is my list of Lady and Gentleman no-nos.

Being a Snob

Being classy should not be synonymous with being a prick or being arrogant. We don't raise our noses to those who behave differently or follow a different lifestyle. We are accepting and kind above all else.


A Lady/Gentleman does not lie, steal, cheat, or break a promise. One simply thinks before one speaks, and does not promise something which one cannot deliver.


Don't spend too much time looking at your reflection. There are far more interesting things to see right outside your front door.


Whether it's alcohol or other vices, too much of anything isn't very classy. In some cases it is down-right bad for your health. The Lady's/Gentleman's way is about modesty. Especially at social outings, a gentleman never has one too many at events. This is where one is at ones best behavior.

Apologies and Forgiveness

A Lady/Gentleman is never too proud to apologize for a wrong-doing. Owning up for something done wrong is an important way to grow, besides, everyone makes mistakes. We are only human. The same is to be said about forgiving simple mistakes. Three strikes on the big things though, in my own opinion.

Reckless Behavior

This one might be common sense for many, but it is one of great importance. Do not drink and drive, or participate in activities that can get you or your peers injured. Being brave or cool is different from being stupid and careless. One would do well to learn the difference.

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Not only is it distasteful, it is a malicious thing to do that does not belong in sophisticated society. If one has a problem with another person, one addresses that individual. Not everyone else.


One thing that separates man from beast is the ability to abstain from physical confrontation. We developed sophisticated languages for many reasons, developing peace is among them.

Distasteful Language

Speaking of linguistics and abhorrent behaviour, please don't swear in public. There are children around the corner always. And besides, there are better ways of expressing oneself. Though if you must, consider the time and place.

Forgetting One's Manners

Open the door for your fellow people, give your seat to the elderly, such things are not just paramount in the art of being a Lady/Gentleman, it is something that can brighten someones day. The small things can sometimes change lives and make the world slightly more bearable for someone.

Preach Hatred

Bigotry belongs in our past, like caves and clubs. Love your fellow man.

That's it for now, Ladies and Gentlemen. Until next time.

© 2018 Lars Melby


Lars Melby (author) from Ontario on March 16, 2018:

Thank you kindly. Being a Gentleman is quite easy, really. A reminder on the different aspects of the lifestyle is however needed on occasion.

Louise Powles from Norfolk, England on March 15, 2018:

There's some good points here. I really don't like snobs. It's not difficult really to be a gentleman.

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