Grace loves to write commentaries on psycho-cultural and sociocultural dynamics in their myriad forms.
What Happened to Self-Reliance?
There are many stages in human development. There is infancy where there is total dependence on parents for physical and emotional sustenance. Then there is the progression through early, middle, and late childhood when there is gradually independence. Subsequently, there is the periods of early and late adolescence when there is greater independence. By adulthood, it is expected that full independence is achieved. Furthermore, by adulthood, people have achieved self-sufficiency and are able to support themselves without the assistance of others. There are exceptions for adults who can either partially support themselves or cannot support themselves needing some type of assistance because of physical, emotional, and mental challenges.
It is quite understandable, even acceptable that physically, emotionally, and mentally challenged adults need and should receive assistance in order to lead a decent, high quality life. There are also temporary downturns when adults may receive assistance from others because they were laid off, downsized, and/or fired from their jobs. However, such situations are temporary and such adults will gradually go on their feet again. Temporary assistance in these instances are very understandable, even accepted but for the most part, adults who are not physically, emotionally, and mentally healthy/capable are expected to pull their weight- to be self-sufficient and self-reliant.
In fact, the average person wants, even craves to be self-reliant. Infants walk to crawl, then walk. They even want to feed themselves without the assistance of adults. Toddlers want to establish their hegemony early. For instance there are the terrible twos when toddlers strongly assert their budding independence. Children exhibit independent behavior by performing minor tasks by themselves. Adolescents show their independence in various ways from rebelling to taking part-time jobs. The average person as an adult views full independence, self-sufficiency, and self-reliance as badges of honor.
However, there are those among us who are not self-self-sufficient at all. They do not even want to entertain the concept. To them, being independent, self-sufficient, and self-reliant are foreign concepts to them. They are not challenged physically, emotionally, mentally, nor psychologically in the least. They are intelligent, even highly intelligent. So what gives here? They just simply do not believe in doing for themselves. They even contend that why should they extend the effort to do so. They also may see the futility in it all. They may be of the school that being independent, self-reliant, and self-sufficient are too taxing to undergo, even endure. They feel that it is much easier, if possible, to depend upon someone to foot their bills so to speak. They assert that they have far more better things than to worry doing what it is required to be independent, self-reliant people.
Thinking, logical adults who have a moral compass, conscience, self-pride, and self-respect want to be independent and support themselves. Being able to provide for oneself gives one a self of accomplishment, not to mention ownership of one's life. Furthermore, working for oneself and earning one's way means that one is neither beholden nor having to answer to anyone. In essence, being independent and self-reliance means being free to determine one's life. Now, there are some people who missed or refuse to listen to the message. They would rather depend upon others. In fact, they are not ashamed at all.
There are people who strongly believe why should they work when there are other people who will support them. They believe that life is too short to work. They further argue that they have far more better things to than to be a slave to some company, corporation, or organization. They maintain that there is life out there. They even rationalize that those who work for a living are merely modern day slaves who are routinely abused and a barely livable wage. They see this as a purgatorial at best and quite infernal at worst. They strongly contend that work is an utter waste of one's life when one should be having enjoying life to its fullest.
They believe that much of people's lives are consumed by work which is oftentimes mundane and meaningless. They feel themselves to be above such. They have a disdain for the so-called rat race and law of the jungle. They assert that earning one's way is an uphill battle which is emotionally, mentally, psychologically, and many times, psychically taxing. They feel that it is not worth it to earn one's way if they are to suffer negative repercussions from it. In their purview, it is far easier to have someone do it for them while they reap the benefits. They contend that there are ways to live, even live quite comfortably, without working.
VAMPIRES.......of a Socioeconomic Kind
There are adults with strong entitlement issues. They feel that somehow that they should receive things with little or no effort on their parts. They believe that life should be the proverbial peaches, roses, and honey. They see difficulties and obstacles as immobilizing, even paralyzing. They are of the school that difficulties nor obstacles should ever be in their lives. To them, difficulties and obstacles are to be avoided. They are the ones who refuse to people up to situations. They are deserving people i.e. that others are to give them, not they earning what they deserve.
They contend that working and earning their way to success, even a decent livelihood is quite taxing to their sensibilities. They strongly insist that they are above such things. To them, the concept of being independent and self-reliant is totally beneath them. They reason why should they earn their way when there are others who will earn it for them. They maintain that there are others who will gladly support them. They even surmise that with others' support, they do not have to bother with such a mundane business. They even believe that they have far better, more glamorous things to do than middling along in a mere job.
They oftentimes rationalize that they are somehow special. They argue that the concept of independence and self-reliance is pure hyperbole to guile the masses to be mere slaves. They know that in their purview there are better ways of living. They may even feel that they are far smarter than the so-called enslaved masses who work their lives away. They do not even give one thought about being self-reliant in the least. They further contend that those who claim to be independent and self-reliant are not in actuality. They maintain that the latter are merely latter day slaves who are owned by the powers that be. They go as far as to argue that such people are actually powerless as they are working for others, depending upon the latter's whims. They maintain that they are the powerful ones as others support them and supply them a decent lifestyle.
Yes, I.......DESERVE It
REFUSAL To..........Assume Responsibililty
There are adults who are quite averse to responsibility. To them, the idea of responsibility is overwhelming. To be responsible means that they have to be proactive regarding the status of their lives. It also means that they must take the initiative regarding making choices. Of course, they avoid, even refuse to take responsibility for their lives because it involves a level of initiative and accountability. They refuse to be accountable in their lives. It is far easier for them to be passive. In being passive regarding their life, they do not have to admit nor accept responsibility for the results of their life outcomes.
They can be quite irresponsible. They are not in the school of doing for themselves. They contend that it is not worth it assuming a responsible, self-reliant persona. They feel that their being self-reliant individuals would create an undue amount of stress in their lives. This is the last thing they want in their lives-to be stressed by responsibility. They want a relaxed, stress free life. They assert that it is far more relaxing to be deemed irresponsible. After all, they will not have that headache. They prefer to allow others to support them than to have the responsibility i.e. headache of actually supporting themselves. They do not intend to fret about supplying their needs and/or paying their bills. They feel that others can do that for them. They really do not mind being passive regarding their life and life outcomes at all. In fact, they welcome others supporting and supplying their socioeconomic needs.
They realize that assuming and/or being responsible means being focused on enhancing and positive goals. Being responsible is also making self-sacrifices to attain such positive goals. To them, being responsible in these contexts are not worth the effort. The word effort is an anathema. to them. They simply find the word effort to be overrated to the point of pure hyperbole. They will strongly insist that being focused and making self-sacrifices to be self-reliant are seldom, if ever, worth it. They even deride those who are focused and self-sacrificing regarding their goals as mere fools, even suckers in the system. They cite how such people work and sacrifice hard but are merely used by the powers that be. They are not about to be part of that scene, thank you.
Don't STRESS Me
A Sense of DEPENDENCY
There are adults dependent on others to support them. They actually enjoy having others take care of their socioeconomic needs. They feel that they do not have to face and endure a harsh, cruel, and even predatory society. They somehow experience a level of psychological, even psychic security in having someone else foot their bills and socioeconomic sustenance. They also feel that they are protected, even enveloped in a psychic womb.
By being dependent on others, they somehow feel somehow worthy. They can feel a specialness which separates them from those who have to be independent and self-reliant. They may consider themselves lucky that others want to support them and make their lives easier. They contend that at least others consider them special enough to want circumstances to be much better for them. They are happy that others think so highly of them to guarantee such a better life with very little or even no effort on their part. They just have to just relish and enjoy the myriad benefits.
They do not have to worry about the prospect of failure. They know that failure will be highly unlikely or will not occur as others are footing their socioeconomic lifestyle and taking care of their socioeconomic needs. So they do not have to work for nor worry about that raise or promotion as any monetary concerns are in others' hands, not theirs. They also do not have to worry about deprivation or doing without anything because if they need something, all they just notify others of their need which will be supplied, if not taken care of.
Adulthood is defined as being independent and self-reliant. Adults are supposed to be responsible and not depend upon others to socioeconomically support them. They are to make and earn their own way. There are such occurrences as layoffs, firings, and other downturns which adults turn to others for temporary assistance until the former gets back on their feet. However, there are able-bodied adults for whom socioeconomic support from others is a permanent condition.
They are quite capable of working and supporting themselves but refuse to do so. They may contend that earning one's way is too tough for them to undertake. They rationalize that it is far easier for others to foot their bills. What they do not realize that they oftentimes must play by others' rules since the latter support them. Also, if others refuse to support them anymore, where will they be? In essence, by having others' support them, they have given their power away. That is a sad way to live as their lives are totally at the behest of others. If others pay their bills and support them then others have the power.
© 2016 Grace Marguerite Williams