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Want a colon cleanse? Get a colonoscopy!

Mucoid Plaque

This is a so-called mucoid plaque.

This is a so-called mucoid plaque.

Are colon cleanses necessary for good health?

Are you plagued with any health problems at all? The latest craze seems to be that the colon is the base for almost all problems and that all we have to do is cleanse it and our tummies will be flatter, we will poop more and better, and life will be jolly.

What's going on here? It used to be SEX that was dirty. Now sex is fine, but something has to be in need of purification I guess, and so the dirtiest thing we can think of is the poop chute. According to many self-proclaimed colon experts, the typical North American colon contains 5-10 pounds of impacted fecal material and this also causes malabsorption, causing people to be fat. I'm not sure how it got twisted into this.  Logically, actual malabsorption would cause people to be thin.

I hate to burst your bubble, boys and girls, but there is a lot of money to be made here and distortions are happening.  "Colon cleanse" products are being sold by the buttload, and not doing any good, and possibly doing harm either directly, or by distracting people from their real issues. 

Katie Couric's famous Colonoscopy

Colonoscopy live

Katie Couric did the public a huge favor by agreeing to have her personal colonoscopy videoed and put on youtube for everyone to see. Here it is for your viewing pleasure.  

In order to prep for a colonoscopy you have to first drink megadoses of purgative laxative that cleans your bowels out.  Pretty much everything that is in there comes out.  I speak from experience.  So if you had any "mucoid plaques" you would either poop 'em out or they would still be in there, (because only certified "colon cleanse" products can coax 'em out)  fair enough?   As you can see, Katie had nothing in her bowels that even remotely resembled the picture at the top of this hub, and neither did I, and neither does anyone else who undergoes a colonoscopy

In the light of all the colonoscopy evidence, the colon cleansing industry will have you believe that "regular" doctors don't know how to find mucoid plaques during colonoscopy and that the mucuos coating that covers the colon lining  as in this link is somehow a bad thing.  Do not get me wrong I am no fan of the USA health care system, but most doctors are well-meaning individuals of at least average intelligence and their eyes are as good as anyone's.   How they get from some mucous in the colon to those rubbery worm things is beyond me.  Another theory is that the plaques are actually in your small intestine where the colonoscopy does not go.  But people, the purgative comes in from the top!  It purges your ENTIRE gut.    

The logical theory of "mucoid plaques" is that they are the result from using the cleansing product   Many of these products contain bentonite (clay) psyllium (fiber) or some other source of fiber.  Bentonite clay is like plaster.  And psyllium swells up when it gets wet.  That's why you have to drink it quickly.  It seems like most of the people who claim pass these weird alien turds do so while under the influence of a "bowel cleanse" product.  So I put to you (and I am not the first one!)  that the mucoid plaques are an artifact of the cleansing process itself. 

I did this so YOU DON'T HAVE TO

Colon Cleanse goop mixed very thick.

Colon Cleanse goop mixed very thick.

Tubular piece of plastic

Tubular piece of plastic

Goop inserted in plastic tube and closed so the goop wouldn't come out.

Goop inserted in plastic tube and closed so the goop wouldn't come out.

Poking many holes in it with a pin to simulate the colon's drying action.  This didn't work very well.

Poking many holes in it with a pin to simulate the colon's drying action. This didn't work very well.

Simulated mucoid plaque out in the sun to bake

Simulated mucoid plaque out in the sun to bake

Look! Now I have my very own mucoid plaque too!

Look! Now I have my very own mucoid plaque too!

Hot Dorkage simulates a colon cleanse

I happened to have been given some "Intestinal Drawing Formula" by a well-meaning friend. I kept it because I thought someday I would try it, but every time I smelled that smell and thought about what it would do to me I said, uh, maybe next week or something.  I had always been curious about this stuff so I decided to try a rather non scientific test.   I   had some tubular plastic bags left over from a little backyard project I did. Hmmmmm.... What if I mixed up some of this goo, put it in a section of tube, poked many pinholes in the plastic to simulate the drying effect of the colon, and left it in the sun to dry? Well, friends, you can see the results of my experiement right here.  What the photographs can't show you is the consistency of this thing:  Let me assure you that it is QUITE RUBBERY and would not break apart like a normal turd.   Now I, too, have my very own mucoid plaque, only I didn't have to subject my body to weird substances to get it.  Would you want something like this coming out of you?  If not, don't put it in!  It's as simple as that.   I wonder if the colon cleanse companies would pay for this picture. 

Colonoscopy is not without risks

Colonoscopy is an expensive somewhat invasive medical procedure and it is not without its own risks, which include perforation and bleeding. Perforation during colonoscopy is a medical emergency that has been known to happen. The guidelines for the point at which the benefits outweigh the risks, i.e. who should and should not have it and how often are based strictly on statistics. Generally the accepted ages for getting one's first colonoscopy is 50, but younger people get them too if they have a history of ulcerative colitis or first degree relatives with colon cancer. For example my sister came down with ulcerative colitis at age 19 and had to have colonoscopy done every year after that. At 35 cancer was discovered and she had her entire colon removed. But her colon was a problematic P.O.S. that didn't work very well anyway. For most of the rest of us the colon is a very important useful organ that we should take care of by eating right and exercising.

So if you're otherwise young and healthy don't rush out and get yourself a colonoscopy just to satisfy your curiosity. Take it from those who have had them: There is no such thing as mucoid plaques. Eat a good diet and yes do deacidify your body, but don't get sucked into expensive colon cleanse regimens.


C.Rose on February 23, 2014:

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I hadn't taken laxatives or cleanses, or anything when during quite a few hydrotherapy sessions a LOT of mucoid plaque comes out. Explain that?

Futamarka on March 21, 2013:

Водонепроницаемость (например, презерватива) характеризуется маркой W2, W4...W12, обозначающей одностороннее гидростатическое давление в МПа (0,2; 0,4 ... 1,2), при котором образец не пропускает воду в условиях стандартных испытаний. Испытания проводят на специальной установке.

soicsHefineve on March 06, 2013:

When i accustomed to receive on top of lifetime but lately I've truly accumulated any amount of resistance.

Loveofnight Anderson from Baltimore, Maryland on November 07, 2012:

I had a colonoscopy a few years back and was glad that I did. Fortunately everything turned out well and the relief factor was a great boost to maintain. When I went in for the exam and was lying on the bed all I remembered was their putting something in my iv and I woke up still waiting for them to start. It was quick, easy, and a stress reliever.

debra on May 10, 2012:

My mother died from colon cancer at age 77. She refused to get a colonoscopy 12 years before - she could still be alive. I miss her.

hot dorkage (author) from Oregon, USA on February 24, 2012:

Thank you. I am living proof. I had a huge polyp cut out. It was so big they actually had to resection my bowel. It was pretty horrendous but nothing like dying slowly and painfully of colon cancer would have been. Luckily my polyp was clean of cancer but even if it would have never gotten cancer it would have eventually blocked up the poop chute and that is also serious bad. I probably wouldn't be sitting here typing this right now if I hadn't had a colonoscopy.

Donna on February 24, 2012:

Definitely have to comment on this one since the conversation of "risk vs benefit" above came up. Turns out that there is proof of just that - colonoscopies do in fact save lives and better yet save one from having to be treated for colon cancer.

A snippet from the article : The new study indicates that people who have polyps removed slash their risk of death from colorectal cancer by more than 50 percent over the next decade and a half compared to the general population.

hot dorkage (author) from Oregon, USA on February 21, 2012:

You are right it works in that it has a laxative effect and causes rubberized poops to come out. If that makes you feel good and happy GO FOR IT!

Nikki on February 21, 2012:

I'm totally disagree! I have done this and it works! It really does look like the first picture above! Blessed Herbs is the best!

Johnny on October 27, 2011:

Thank you for the explanation! No need to post this, thanks!

hot dorkage (author) from Oregon, USA on October 25, 2011:

Johny, you would not deliberately put a sharp object into your bowels either through the mouth, or from the other end. An endoscope is not particularly sharp, however, it is a hard metal object, and if you move around during a colonoscopy it can potentially do serious damage. It does carry a certain risk, but once you hit that magical age, The risk of not discovering colon cancer is sure death, and the number of people who get perforations from a colonoscopy is way less than the number who benefit --i.e. get precancerous polyps stopped before cancer ever starts (e.g. me!) This is why they normally sedate people, so they don't get a chance to freak out. I was allowed to have my follow-up colonoscopy without sedation because I had a track record of four childbirths without pain med. They told me that if I so much as twitched, they would open the tap and dump the sedative into my veins. I was very careful not to move. It was moderately uncomfortable and a little freaky especially when they steered the scope around the bends in the bowels. The team held me just to make sure the scope went where it was supposed to go, and of course it was taking live video the whole trip, so they could see. I got to watch the whole show.

Johnny on October 25, 2011:

Why would you have anything sharp that can cause perforations going into the bowel? I don't understand how that can be a risk. Could you explain?

hot dorkage (author) from Oregon, USA on October 02, 2009:

Warren E, someone constipated is always going to look and feel better after a nice big dookie. What's in question is have they formed new habits to address the root cause of their constipation or have they merely swallowed some "cleanse" to force it out.

hot dorkage (author) from Oregon, USA on October 02, 2009:

Warren E, someone constipated is always going to look and feel better after a nice big dookie. What's in question is have they formed new habits to address the root cause of their constipation or have they merely swallowed some "cleanse" to force it out.

Waren E from HAS LEFT THE BUILDING............ on October 02, 2009:

It looks so real..eeew..LOL

Thanks for revealing the facts about those things, HD!

Still I've seen people look younger and brighter after using those colon cleansing things though!: )

hot dorkage (author) from Oregon, USA on June 08, 2009:

Well everybody wants to pig out on bad fats, refined carbs, and sugar AND have a flat tummy a beautiful body, a daily poo and perfect blood balance.

Food and exercise are key. If u eat right and exercise things just work. If you gunk it up with bad food and sit on your ass all day they don't. But nobody wants to hear that or do it, they'd rather pay $19.95 for some product or service that will "fix" them.

notorious_HAI on June 08, 2009:

Good advice. This is a trend among a lot of people to keep their tummy flat. If you can poo the conventional way, just poo :), wouldn't it also keep your bowels from going lazy if you let your body eliminate the waste?

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