If you've ever found yourself having a hard time saying no when it comes to helping others, then you might be a people pleaser. When you make a habit of out pleasing people, it becomes unsustainable and detrimental to your own well-being. Although your intentions are kind and good, it often ends up backfiring on you. This can affect not only you but the people around you in a negative way.
It happens because when you try to please other people in your life, then you have to put on a mask while you try to guess what it is you should be doing. This puts unnecessary stress on your body and can make you anxious.
If you have a hard time saying no, then you have to learn how to stop being a people please as you will often feel taken advantage of by others who will use your good habits against you and take more from you than you get in return.
It is best to be straightforward with others as if you're hiding your true emotions behind a mask, they can be detected on a subconscious level by others, and they will feel your stress seeping out.
So most of the time, if you're trying to please others, often you'll end up in a worse situation than you may think.
How can you change this behavior and stop pleasing other people?
First of all, you have to realize that some people can't be pleased, no matter how much you try to do for them they will never feel that it's enough and it's not your job to change them, they're just built that way, there's nothing you can do about it. If you're not feeling the right chemistry with someone, or someone's having a bad month, although these things may entice you to help them, it's not actually your fault, and sometimes it can even have the opposite effect if you try to help them.
Learning to say no is the most crucial step that you should try to learn to do. When you're trying to please people, it's very hard to say no.
Even if you don't want to help, you often feel inclined to say yes because you don't want to deal with the negative emotions associated with saying no.
But it's vital for your happiness; you will only stress yourself out by living the life of others and not following your own goals.
It's important to learn how to disarm the situation and express what it is that you need. For example, if someone asks something if you tell them that you're flattered that they asked you for help but saying that you don't have the time for doing what they are requesting is nothing to be ashamed about.
We each have our own lives, and every decent human will accept your answer, and if they don't, then you already know that you're doing with a person who isn't rational, and you shouldn't be helping them in that case anyway, hope this helps you in how to stop being a people pleaser.