The fear of getting failed and rejected is a blockage on your path to success. It is one of your deepest fears. The percentage of fear is different in all individuals. But some fear elements are common to all individuals.
Now let us discuss the reasons behind fear of rejection, its ill effects on your life, and how to overcome them.
Causes of Fear of Rejection
Not ready to face criticism: You avoid taking risks and are not ready to explore new opportunities. You fear that your ideas might get rejected by your family or friends. You are afraid to face criticism and getting hurt. But if you want to achieve success, then you have to take risks and prepare yourself to face rejection also.
Try to make everyone happy: You agree to do things that you do not want to do to please everyone. It is a short-term escape from getting rejected. It will cause harm to you in the long run as you cannot please everyone. You alone are not responsible for other people’s emotions. Slowly you will get exhausted and lose track of what you want to achieve.
Maintain a fake public personality: You hide your real self in public. You put on a fake smile and try to get along with everyone. But if you put on this mask every time, people will eventually recognize your behavior. If you do not express your authentic feelings, you won’t be able to form sincere relationships.
You do not speak up: You do not express your views and refuse to stand up for yourself. You are a poor communicator and always feel shy to ask what you want.
Consequences of Fear of Rejection
The fear of rejection can have adverse consequences if left untreated. It acts as a barrier to success in your professional and personal life.
Here are some of its most common consequences:
- You feel insecure and weak while appearing for a job interview. You will have sweaty palms, an increased heartbeat, and difficulty in speaking. You won’t be able to talk confidently, negotiate a job contract, and lose out on a high pay job.
- If you are an entrepreneur or a salesperson, you need to impress clients, sell products, and attract investors many times. If you suffer from fear of rejection, you even are not confident in answering or making a phone call.
- You meet new people daily either at a shop, gym, or bus stop. Short conversations take place at these places. But, these can lead to lifelong relationships. But out of fear, you feel uncomfortable talking to strangers and even your close friends. You lose out on connections that could prove helpful to you.
- You do feel nervous on a first date. But, the feeling of getting rejected spoils your date. You must focus on knowing each other. But you waste the entire time thinking whether the other person likes you or not. You worry about your appearance, not able to talk or eat properly, nervous, etc.
- Successful marriage demands compromises even if you are compatible with your partner. There will always be a difference of opinion between them. Due to fear of rejection, you are not able to express your needs and desires. You might also develop a feeling of being left alone. It also gives rise to distrust in your partner. It gives rise to unethical behaviour, such as checking your partner’s phone details and social media accounts.
Cure of Fear of Rejection
After going through the major causes of fear of rejection, let us now discuss various methods to overcome it. You can overcome it by:
Loving Yourself: Develop the feeling of self-love and self-respect. Face difficult situations with courage. It will boost your self-confidence. Your fears will diminish and will not affect your decisions.
Writing Down Problems and Solutions: Define and write the problem you are facing at present. Draw a line to divide the paper into two halves. Write down problems and possible answers on the left side of the sheet. Fifty percent of the battle is over if you can identify your problem.
Writing Down Worst Outcome: Write down the worst possible outcome of your problem on the right side of the sheet. It can be in the form of money or job loss, conflict in a relationship, bad health, etc. Writing down everything on paper relieves stress.
But what is the cause of this stress?
This stress arises when you resist yourself facing the worst outcome to your problem. You will stop worrying and feel relaxed once you have written down your worries on paper.
Accepting Worst Possible Outcome: You should learn to live with the worst outcome if it occurs. Once you make up your mind to face any outcome, there will be no stress. You will stop worrying.
Improving on the Worst: Now you are aware of your problem, possible answers, and worst outcomes. Your mind is now calm, clear, and capable of thinking clearly.
The next step is to think about how to improve upon the worst result.
What actions you could take to make sure that the worst does not happen. Worry is a result of indecision. So, start doing. Taking action will boost your confidence, and your fears will go away.
Fear of rejection is a limiting factor of your life. You must free yourself of it as soon as possible. If you are unable to do it yourself, then do consult a doctor for proper advice.
It will help you identify the real cause of the fear and help you find effective solution to treat it.
So, do not let your fears stop you from achieving what you want in life. Develop an attitude to overcome distress.
Have you ever suffered fear of rejection? Or do you have tips that can help to overcome the fear of failure?
Do share your views in the comment box.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2020 Preeti Shah
Preeti Shah (author) from Delhi on November 04, 2020:
I really appreciate your opinion. But I am very happy with my present achievements. It's just how you prepare yourself for good and bad situation both in same manner. You cannot ignore either of them.
Eric Dierker from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on November 04, 2020:
I call it "resistance". We are given gifts. We must find smooth ways to express them and share. But I feel like you are directing your thoughts from a point of not being grateful for where you are today. I think looking to be better is not a matter of dislike of where we are.