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The Perfect Shave Does Not Exist

I'm an aspiring writer, but overall, I am an American who seeks a better America.

9nails created this image.

9nails created this image.

Some of you may think that I posted this article to vent a pet peeve. However, this topic is a much bigger issue for me and for a great number of men than you can possibly imagine. I am not a chronic complainer, but I felt that I needed to get this gripe off my chest once and for all. I may not get a Pulitzer prize for this article, but I am sure that most men will agree with what I have to say herein.

No. This article is not strictly for laughs. It's not a laughing manner at all. If you are a woman reading this article, you need to understand that we men are not without our problems or difficulties; and shaving is one of them. WE MEN ABSOLUTELY HATE SHAVING WITH A VENGEANCE!

This morning I thought up this article while I was shaving my face. If you are a woman, you don't even begin to know how much most men hate shaving. It is an archaic grooming ritual that has long outlived its purpose in our society, and, like shining shoes, it needs to be thrown out of our culture once and for all.

I know what some of you women are going to say. That it looks so good for a man to have a smoothly shaved face. Well, you can search the ends of this planet, and I can guarantee you that you will not find even one man who has a perfectly shaved face. Shaving your face as a man is about as fun as doing laundry; and I say so with conviction, because I know that the majority of you, if not all of you, hate doing laundry. The man in the video below shouts it all out from the top of his lungs.

Like Most Men, Frank Laundry Hates Shaving

Women Just Don't Get It!

Back in 2020 when the COVID-19 pandemic had generated lockdowns and quarantines across the nation and throughout the world, I began to notice that whenever I was out in public, there were more and more men with unshaved faces than I had seen previously. Offices and businesses were being shut down left and right, and men were having fewer and fewer reasons to shave their faces. It felt good to see men finally saying no to the shaving blade. Perhaps that could be one of the reasons why men wish to continue to work remotely from home in front of their computer.

Now, I'm not attempting to start a battle between the sexes over this topic. However, unless you are a man, you simply don't know how much trouble and expense we men have to go through in order to give our faces a good shave. First of all, shaving blades and shaving cream are both ludicrously expensive to purchase. It takes forever to shave every single, solitary hair off the lower part of our face. Shaving off our hair on the neck is torture.

Even when you think that you have gotten every little hair shaved away, you usually find out later on in your car mirror that there is one little hair still on your chin; and you just feel like punching anyone out who makes a comment about it. The problem is that it is usually a woman who brings it to your attention, because she has no way of understanding what we men go through just about every day of the week.

Ladies? I know that you have problems of your own. I am not here to make light of them. However, if you're going to come back at me with the argument that women have to shave their legs in the comments section below, then stop typing. No! Women don't have to shave their legs. Women can wear long pants over their hairy legs, and nobody will know the difference. What are we men going to do about the hair on our faces if we haven't shaved? Wear a ski mask?

Oh, wait a minute. Let me guess. You're a 36-year-old suburban housewife who lives in Miami, and now you're going to tell me that it can get as hot as 99 degrees Fahrenheit where you live in the summertime and even during other parts of the year. Once again if you're going to go down that road to contradict me, then stop typing. If you're using that lame argument to deny that you can cover your hairy legs up with long pants, then chances are that you probably live in some place like Barrows, Alaska or Iceland that seldom ever gets hot. You don't know what it is all about, because you are comparing oranges and apples. Besides, I have heard advertisements on the radio about clothing that cools itself from within. As I said before, women don't have to shave their legs.

Oh, wait a minute! Now, you're going to argue that you have to shave your legs so that you can go swimming at the beach or the community swimming pool. That is not a valid argument. You can still have your own swimming pool built into your backyard. When I lived in Southern California, there were women who owned houses that had their own private beach. You're not going to win this same argument with men, because women have so many inventive ways of hiding the fact that they don't shave their legs. Men have no way of hiding the fact that they haven't shaved their face.

The other day a speck of shaving cream got in my left eye. I had to spend so many minutes flushing it out of my left eye. A woman would never know what kind of aggravation it is to deal with something like that, because her legs are too far away from her eyes and, therefore, she would never encounter that same problem upon shaving her legs. Men must confront aggravation after aggravation whenever they shave.

Aside from shaving being an expensive and lengthy grooming ritual for men, it can also be a painful one. Every time that a man shaves his face, he always takes chances that he'll get a cut on his face. This one grooming expert once claimed that shaving cuts to the face can accelerate the aging process for men. Therefore, why do we even hold on to this archaic grooming ritual?

Every man who shaves knows what a pain in the backside it can be whenever his bathroom sink gets clogged up with facial hair. Then he has to go through the aggravation of unclogging it. Plungers usually don't work on bathroom sink drains whenever you're trying to unclog it. Drano is not cheap. Bathtubs do not clog up as easily as bathroom sinks do. Therefore, women who shave their legs don't understand how disruptive it can be to a man's life whenever he has to unclog his bathroom sink because of facial hair in its drainpipe.

It makes no sense that one little, tiny hair on a man's chin that he missed upon shaving can stand between him and a high-paying job if his interviewer spots it on his face. A man's job skills should not be evaluated based upon how well he shaves his face. Women don't have to go through that same nonsensical test.

To all the single women searching for Mr. Right, please don't go putting a profile on a dating site that indicates that you want a man with a smoothly shaved face. If you are measuring a man's quality and attributes by how well he shaves his face, you deserve to be alone for the rest of your life; and if you are one of those women who go counting all the hairs on a man's face that he missed upon shaving each and every time you go out in public, you then deserve to be locked up in a mental institution to share a room with a certifiable wacko who has requested a consumer credit report from every man she has ever dated.

Men with smoothly shaved faces don't necessarily look more handsome than men who grow facial hair. The late country singer Kenny Rogers didn't shave regularly, and women still liked him. If you've never heard of him before, the video below will give you an idea of how talented he was.

The Song Titled "She Believes In Me" By Kenny Rogers

Boys? Enjoy Your Childhood While It Lasts.

When I was entering into middle school, I was 11 years old. I remember the hustle and bustle of having to get up early in the morning, take a shower and select a clean pair of clothes to look my best to my classmates. It seemed as though this routine was like a never-ending chore for me. However, in hindsight, there was one major thing that I could really appreciate. I did not have to shave back then.

I'm always hearing young boys in middle school and in their first half of high school talking about how they cannot wait to be able to shave and feel like a man instead of a kid. Take it from any grown man. Shaving is nothing to which to look forward. Once you put shaving cream on your face and pick up that first shaving razor to shave off the first few hairs on your face, there is no turning back and you will never see those terrific days of your life again when you didn't even have to think about it.

Some women want us men to shave to look more like you middle-school boys and high-school boys, which makes no sense to me. I thought that women were supposed to want men to look mature and masculine instead of like kids.

This archaic grooming ritual of men shaving their faces has unleashed a whole myriad of problems and setbacks in men's everyday lives. There is getting to be less and less of a place for shaving in our culture. Men like me want to be set free from this archaic grooming ritual.

The Slow Death Of The Male Shaving Ritual Will Benefit All Of Us Economically

If our society were to throw out this archaic grooming ritual of men shaving their facial hair, it would have a positive impact on our economy. How? If fewer and fewer men were shaving, then fewer and fewer men would be buying shaving razors, shaving blades, and shaving cream accordingly and the manufacturers of these products would have to lower the prices of them to continue to sell them to individuals who chose to shave their faces.

In Economics 101, there is this thing that is commonly referred to as supply and demand. If the sales of shaving razors, shaving blades, and shaving creams were to plummet, sanity could be restored to men's roles in society. There is probably some C.E.O. from one of these manufacturers of shaving products reading my article while shaking his head, but it is true. The reason that these products are so ridiculously expensive is because the outdated grooming ritual of men shaving facial hair forces men to purchase them regardless of whether or not they really want to use them. In other words, these products are practically being shoved down us men's throats, even though most of us don't want to have anything to do with them.

A good analogy for this concern is when people would prefer naturally regenerated teeth as opposed to dentures and false teeth. Well, with these shaving products, most of us men would prefer not to shave at all. It is not that we desire to look like bums. We simply do not want to go on being overwhelmed with all the overhead, difficulties, and inconveniences involved in shaving our facial hair merely to satisfy an archaic grooming ritual that should have been thrown out of our culture ages ago.

I have seen videos on YouTube about women rallying to urge all the women of our nation to stop shaving their legs in protest of what they believe to be an archaic grooming ritual that defies feminist objectives. It is beyond my comprehension why these same women still continue to expect the men in their lives to shave their facial hair. We men need to post videos on YouTube to urge all men to give up shaving their faces. Promote unshaved faces among men as the new normal!

Pexels is the creator of this image.

Pexels is the creator of this image.

Conclusion

Most of us men would like to take shaving razors, shaving blades, and shaving cream cans and throw them into the trash. Most of us hate to shave, and we don't appreciate people who nag at us for not shaving either. The next time that someone sees a man who missed a small hair or two in shaving his face and that person finds it unsightly, I say that such an individual needs to put boxing tape over their eyes.

No man should take any derogatory comments about his facial shave being less than perfect as constructive criticism. These people who fixate in their search for the perfect shave need to get a life. Those of us men who are sick and tired of shaving are not interested in anyone's snide remarks about how their face doesn't look smoothly shaved enough. We get nothing out of it.

A Poll For Men Who Are Fed Up With Having To Shave

Another Poll For Men Who Are Fed Up With Having To Shave

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2021 Jason B Truth

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