The Dumbest Things People Say To Vegetarians and Vegans
Most vegetarians and vegans have to put up with a lot of questions about their diets from curious omnivores. Some of these questions are the result of legitimate (if perhaps ignorant) curiosity, such as "Do you need to take supplements?" or "Do vegetarians eat eggs?" Most vegetarians and vegans are happy to answer these types of questions, at least the first few hundred times.
Quite a few other questions and comments are so dumb they're just plain obnoxious, though. This type is most popular with internet trolls and other omnivores who think they're funny, and there's no legitimate curiosity about them. Here are some of the dumbest:
Do you eat animal crackers?
Har har har, vegetarians are so dumb they can't tell the difference between dead animal flesh and a bunch of ground grains, refined sugars, and chemical additives molded to look like animals humans don't even typically eat! Har har har! I'm slapping my thighs over here!
In fact, I'm pleased to report that Nabisco's Barnum Animal Crackers are not only vegetarian, they're vegan, too! Some other brands do contain dairy or whey, however, so check the ingredient list.
On Being Prey
I didn't climb to the top of the food chain to eat plants.
Vegetarians and vegans are often accused of being city slickers, but I think this comment reveals who the real city slicker is. Only somebody who has never had to make peace with the possibility of becoming something else's dinner could make a statement like this. As a frequent hiker in grizzly country, I'd be an idiot not to take sensible precautions when I hit the trail, but I can do everything right and still become prey.
Grizzlies are just one of the small but legendary group of species that occasionally remind us that humans are NOT, in fact, the top of the food chain. We like to pretend that we are - in part by killing off the real tops of the food chain wherever we take up residence - but they're still waiting out there in the wilder corners of our world, haunting our collective nightmares. It takes a city slicker to forget it.
Biblical Vegetarianism
If God didn't want us to eat animals, why did He make them out of meat?
The Good Lord made humans out of meat, too. Does that mean He wants us to be cannibals?
Seriously, people, if you're going to drag religion in to muddy up the issue, there are plenty of legitimate ways to do it. This is not one of them.
Unintended Consequences
If we stopped eating meat, the world would be overrun by animals!
Believe it or not, this one may be even dumber than the last one, completely ignoring the reality that livestock species only exist in the numbers that they do because humans breed them for meat and other animal products.
Wild animals, meanwhile, keep their own populations under control just fine... as long as humans stay out of it. Ironically, ecologists have learned in recent years that grizzlies and other top predators are killing us even in their absence, through auto collisions with deer, hantavirus spread by mice, and other symptoms of prey populations run amok.
But you eat fish, right?
Um, no. Vegetarians do not eat dead animals, therefore vegetarians do not eat fish. Same with chicken.
In fairness, some of this is semantic confusion. For whatever reason, the word "meat" in English is usually taken to mean red meat, while fish and chicken are labeled "seafood" and "poultry" respectively. As a result, when vegetarians say they don't eat meat, a surprising number of people assume that means only red meat, as if fish and birds are some sort of plant.
Adding to the confusion, some pescetarians (people who eat fish but not red meat or poultry) and pollotarians (people who eat poultry but not red meat) call themselves vegetarians or semi-vegetarians, either because it's simpler or because they don't know the correct terms themselves.
Variety is the Spice of Life
So what DO you eat, salads?
Some omnivores appear to suffer under the ridiculous misconception that vegetables are the only foods vegetarians eat. In fact, some go even further, with an apparent belief that lettuce is the only food vegetarians eat. Others will generously offer to give you their lawn clippings.
Har har.
In fact, many vegetarians eat a significantly more varied diet than typical omnivores consuming the Standard American Diet. The initials spell SAD for a reason!
Almost all vegetarians probably eat a more varied diet than the sort of omnivore who asks "But what do you eat?" when you say you're vegetarian, as if the idea of a single meal without meat is some sort of incomprehensible alien concept.
The snarky reply is "Everything but dead animal corpses." If the question appears to be genuine, you can be more polite and say "Everything but meat," maybe adding a list of a few of the delicious vegetarian meals you've eaten recently.
Source: http://icanhascheezburger.com/
You carrot-murderer!
~sighs~
This one is just plain obnoxious but there's a related question that occasionally is serious - "Why is it okay to eat plants but not animals?" - so I'll put some effort into countering it anyway.
There are several related points you can touch on here.
The most basic is that plants have no central nervous system and cannot feel pain. Animals can, and despite efforts to minimize the suffering of slaughter, the truth is that these measures often aren't enforced, and even when they are, they don't always work.
It's also worth noting that very few plants are actually killed by being eaten. (Carrots are one of them - at least our dumb omnivore got that much right.) The majority of plant foods that people eat are forms of fruit, nut or seed. Harvesting these types of plant food neither kills nor harms the plant in the slightest.
If the goal is to minimize suffering (in the sense that a plant experiences suffering, anyway, which has little similarity to the ways in which humans and animals experience suffering), you can point out that eating animals causes twice the "suffering" that eating plants does, because plants are eaten by animals and then animals are eaten by people. Vegetarianism and veganism isn't about being perfect, it's about doing less harm. This is also a good answer for people who bring up the issue of insects and other animals killed during harvesting of plant crops - there is no perfectly cruelty-free diet, but the lower you eat on the food chain, the less total harm you're racking up.
I'm a member of PETA -People Eating Tasty Animals.
Obnoxious for the sake of being obnoxious. Ignoring them is the best solution.
Defensive Omniovore Bingo
Source: http://veganachronism.wordpress.com/
Comments
Meztli from United Kingdom on May 18, 2015:
If God didn't want us to eat animals, why did He make them out of meat?"
where I hear that one, I know there's no point in talking with this person about it anymore.
Nick Deal from Earth on September 15, 2014:
I bet you get new ones every day that you could add to this list.
Fay Favored from USA on September 15, 2014:
I haven't been asked all these questions but indeed some of them. What really gets me is that so many people think salad is all we eat. When we are invited to a gathering my husband shares that I'm a vegetarian and most say, "She can eat salad." We usually bring side dishes!
Buce on April 08, 2013:
You'd be surprised how many vegetarians eat fish, actually. I as a vegetarian myself think it is hypocritical, but whatever, to each his own.
dudeser on January 24, 2013:
Some of these are very dumb. I have veg friend and just tease him while he teases me for other things. His diet is very well cus is about the pickest veggy person ever.
Linda on October 16, 2012:
Its funny how the exact point you are making in this article, ppl are still posting and saying the same ridiculous things and in the attack mode. smh
supermom_in_ny from NY on July 18, 2012:
I am not a vegetarian, but my teenage daughter has been a vegan for years. I hate when people ask stupid questions or ridicule her lifestyle choice. Bad decision on their part, since I am a confrontational type. If you make a stupid comment, you shouldn't be shocked if you get an antagonistic answer. I always feel sorry for the idiot that opens their mouth around me to trash talk about autism or veganism. I'm pretty sure that after they come across me, they think twice before EVER doing it again. LOL! ;)
Voted up, awesome and shared!
Claudia Porter on July 01, 2012:
I eat meat, but would never think about asking my vegetarian friends these questions. There were some really funny points.
billd01603 from Worcester on June 21, 2012:
This was a funny Hub
Orinoco on June 21, 2012:
I've always wondered why people get so defensive. I'm an 'omnivore', but never once have these questions ever crossed my mind. People can be so weird sometimes. Haha :)
Henning on June 05, 2012:
I understand you're annoyed by stupid questions. But, I have heard some pretty daft reasoning from vegetarians to, like "it's unnatural for humans to eat meat." I totally relate to the ethical and eviormental issuses often described, but the fundament of our civillisation is still buildt upon being hunter/gatherers and dressing our naked skin in other animals fur... don't know if this is an unrelated "cavemen comment" :) Weird thing then that we haven't moved on to the point where we cut down on our increasing exploitment of natural resourses, now that we actually have all the means to change our ways.
katie on May 31, 2012:
People just like to criticises if you're not like them. I'm not a full vegetarian because of my family (my sacrifice for them) but I always order vegetarian meals when at restaurants and get asked why I didn't just get a salad. Personally I don't like meat; never have. The looks I get when I tell people I don't like steak and don't eat any form of pork... funny thing is I'm healthier and more energetic then them!!
Btryon86 on May 08, 2012:
I absolutely love this article. I can't tell you how many of those bingo spaces I could fill in from all the ridiculous things people have asked me about being a vegetarian, lol.
TheLifeExperiment from Seattle, WA on May 02, 2012:
mark- lol what? That makes no sense at all
mark on May 01, 2012:
just cause vegans are completely stupid irational and all these points make sense doesn't mean youhave to rub it in their faces. Heck if people want to eat dog shit let them eat dog shit.
TheLifeExperiment from Seattle, WA on April 17, 2012:
Oy, thank you. So many people have asked me all these questions and I just look at them like, "are you mentally retarded?". Meat isn't the biggest part of human's diet (or at least it shouldn't be), so why is it such a big deal to stop eating it? People don't get all these stupid questions if they go on a no-carb diet, and carbs make up most of our diets. People who don't like or understand vegetarians are a mystery to me...Good hub :)
celt130 on April 16, 2012:
"The process of harvesting itself had little? effect on the mice,but the removal of the cover afforded by the crop greatly increased predation pressure on the mice.After harvest,mice either emigrated from? the arable ecosystem or reduced activity.Nevertheless,over half(17 of 32)of the mice radio-collared before harvest where taking by predators in the first week following harvest.Together with emigration,this produced an 80% decrease in the population"
"Tew, T.E. and D.W. Macdonald. 1993. The effects of harvest on arable wood mice. Biological Conservation 65:279-283. "
-"Davis, S.L. 2000. What is the Morally Relevant Difference between the Mouse and the? Pig? Pp. 107-109 in the Proceedings of EurSafe 2000; 2nd Congress of the European Society for Agricultural and Food Ethics"
-"OSU scientist questions the moral? basis of a vegan diet (3/5/02)"
Pamela Lee from Washington State on April 11, 2012:
This is a funny and very original Hub. I am a pescetarian, and love the subjects that You touched in this writing. Thank You for the great Hug to read!
RockMomster on April 08, 2012:
Not a vegetarian here, and I say when it comes to our menu choices that BOTH sides could show some tolerance. I'm pretty sure I haven't said the things from your BIngo card, but seriously, the animal crackers question is obvious sarcasm! Get a sense of humor, stop taking your diet so seriously, and lighten up! Yes, it's an old, stale joke but it's not a criticism. Know that both sides can play this Bingo game, because there are some pretty holier-than-thou vegetarians looking down their noses at omnivores. If you attract too many obnoxious comments, you might want to ask a meat eating friend to pull out their Obnoxious Vegetarian
Remarks Bingo card for a quick self-assessment.
amarah on April 06, 2012:
I got a good one vegitarians say i dont eat fish egg or meat yet i see them eating haribos GELETINE I SAY THAT COMES FROM ANIMALS the respons get oooooo
vegetarianceleste from San Fransisco on April 05, 2012:
A very witty article, I was giggling throughout! I guess most of us vegetarians have heard these kinds of comments before - it can be so darned frustrating!
Thanks for making it funny!
kerryg (author) from USA on March 02, 2012:
Hi Jen,
Vegetarians have different reasons for going vegetarian. A person who goes vegetarian for health reasons wouldn't necessarily care about wearing leather or wool, whereas a person who goes vegetarian because she opposes killing animals might be okay with wool but not leather, and a person opposed to animal exploitation of any kind generally wouldn't wear either.
Additionally, modern industrial agriculture is indeed horrible for the planet, whether it's producing steaks or rice. However, by eating lower on the food chain, you can reduce the environmental damage you do. Eating a steak from a corn-fed steer compounds the environmental damage by combining the problems of animal and plant agriculture, whereas if you just eat the corn directly you're not only eliminating the damage caused by raising the steer, you also require much less corn.
Of course, the best option from an environmental perspective is not eating food produced by industrial agriculture at all, but if you must, it's better to eat vegetarian.
Jen on March 02, 2012:
Very amusing article, but I do have a few questions..
People who say they are vegetarian, yet go around wearing shoes/ handbags/ clothing ect made of wool, leather or any other product which comes from an animal annoy me. Either do it properly or not at all. They shouldn't be consuming anything which comes from milk or eggs either. Hypocrites.
In addition, vegetarians I've met have this 'holier than thou', preachy attitude which quite annoys me. 'Ooohh, I'm a vegetarian.' Yeah, so what? You think your doing the planet good, I suppose? Despite the fact the rice fields which produce your rice kick out tonnes of methane a day, contributing to global warming?
How hypocritical!
AKKessinger from Grand Forks Air Force Base, North Dakota on February 14, 2012:
Nice Hub, a funny interesting read. Great information. I'm a very new vegan and I'm still learning about everything.
farmer on January 18, 2012:
How do you call a vegan who run a farm and sell 150-200 cattles to slaughterhouse per year and refuse eat eggs from my backyard chickens. His explanation - i am not going to kill chickens - every eggs representing new life. Bullock up to 200 cattles lifes vs 4-8 roosters on my farm (on average one or two of my hens sit on eggs per year = 18-24 from 800 eggs)
SanXuary on January 12, 2012:
I am Vegan but have never called myself one. The reason why is because I am Vegan for health reasons only. I do the research and there is no doubt that it is the healthiest thing you could ever do for yourself. It will almost guarantee that you maintain the proper weight and if you our over weight you will lose most of it. There is no doubts that the over consumption of animal based products in our food supply is the largest reason for are current health crisis in America. Read the ingredients on almost any food item and it has eggs, milk or animal in it. Most people think that they only had one steak or hamburger today but they actually had between ten or twenty. There are current studies that prove that a vegan diet has cured cancer and reversed and healed coronary heart disease. I often watch TV and realize that the joke is on non-vegans. Eat this big burger and we will donate x amount to fight cancer the whole time they are sending you to your death. All the medications that average over 40 side effects to solve problems that our the side effects of worst problems. For example erectile dysfunction is a symptom of coronary heart disease. Mean while late night TV is running adds to find out if you are a victim for some medication you took. Their are people who went from death to better then average health by going vegan. They went from countless medications to none and lost weight and never did a diet. Just as scary our the countless additives and sweeteners made from chemicals that the human body can not process but people consume everyday to claim that they are dieting. The best medicine is nutrition and eating the right things and I do not do this for the furry animals.
omnivorous on January 02, 2012:
actually humans are indeed on the top of the food chain.
your opinion is obvious biased.
animal slaughter is not the same as animal cruelty. There are many ways not to contribute to animal cruelty and you should also post about it since you bash those who accept themselves.
I actually find this article insulting...as if vegans were superior to omnivorous...
jalo on January 01, 2012:
nice :)
Buddy on December 20, 2011:
This is just what I needed. Thanks! The BINGO is all too familiar.
What kills me is my friends who question my vegan lifestyle yet go to bars every night.
Daisy Mariposa from Orange County (Southern California) on December 19, 2011:
Did anyone cite this one yet?
"I'm a vegetarian too - I just eat chicken and fish!"
Also, when people at work want you to go to lunch or some food event, they'll say
"Well, they have salads."
creativebutterfly from Florida USA on December 19, 2011:
Loved it, great Hub, as a vegetarian I can understand all of it.
vegteen on December 15, 2011:
Think being veg as an adult is hard? Try being one in high school. You get the peers who think vegetarianism makes you a freak and veganism is a disease PLUS the condescending adults who pat you on the head and tell you that you're too young to understand nutrition and to go get some protein.
Great hub, by the way. Love the bingo.
vanessam on November 28, 2011:
@Arthur Windermere: The reason they are one the defensive, most probably, is that a large number of vegetarians/vegans approach omnivores with accusations. I am almost vegan myself, but I try to avoid criticizing omnivores for their choices. Rather, I try to educate them and let them take out of it what they will.
@Amalee: Agreed entirely. It's so ridiculous...not that beef jerky would sustain you for long enough to get away, anyway, so it's rather pointless.
Thanks for this Hub. Voted up and awesome.
Vanessa
veggie tarian on November 23, 2011:
This is awesome! I am going to print it out and leave it in my meat-loving friends locker! She has used almost every one!
Schatje on November 04, 2011:
This article leads me to think that vegetarians and vegans surround themselves with morons. Hmm...
Works for me!
PiaC from Oakland, CA on October 26, 2011:
I personally am quite confused when folks who eat fish and chicken claim to be vegetarian, but a lot of fish eating folk do label themselves that way. In India, even eggs are considered non-vegetarian, which I understand, as they certainly are not a vegetable!
Ken on October 23, 2011:
Fair enough but left out one of the main reasons people say some of those things is to get even with vegetarians. Not all But the majoraty of Vegetarians and vegans I have met have been the preachiest most condescending people I have ever had to deal with. You do not eat meat fine but do not come to my table sit down and preach about how can I eat a carcass. Dont I know how meat gets to the table and the rest of it. I would rather have the evangelicals come knocking . At least I can just shut the door on them.
Jules on October 17, 2011:
You eat what you like - I like meat so will continue to eat it - no amount of witty banter (cos thats all this is) will change my taste buds!
My grandad was a beef farmer - cows for beef and milk - and he and my gran lived to be in their 90's eating meat daily, they were fit and happy. Would you have wanted to put them out of business and make them have to sell their farm? I think the minority of veggies in the uk should quietly get on with eating plants and let us eat meat - there is no need to go on about it constantly! Its almost as bad as jehova's wintesses coming rounbd with their unwanted opinions!
Megan on October 09, 2011:
my all time favorite that i get almost on a daily basis: "it's already dead you're just wasting it by not eating it"
Katarina on September 26, 2011:
What an interesting, unique article! I loved reading this, and I could definitely discuss stuff like this for hours.(:
Favorite parts:
1. I keep trying to go vegan and failing. Now that I know that there are dairy-free animal crackers to eat, I'll just eat them when i need that chocolate(: (Though there's always dark chocolate too! I'm so mature->;)) By the way, I don't mind this one as much, I think it's a little funny. Shame on me :7
2. I love how others think that us being vegetarians or vegans are making THEM look bad or inferior. Stay on top of your food chain, sure. Leave us alone.
3. I was hanging out with a girl once, and she said she thought God put animals on Earth for us to eat. But if that's so, why would He be so cruel as to give animals feelings and relationships, lives and freedom? I wont critisize your religion, as i was introduced to Bhuddism when I was 8 (im almost 13 now), but please don't proselytize or say ridiculous things.
4.Yes, completely true. If we're not eating farm animals, nature takes care of the other animals people eat, such as deer and rabbits.
MissChellePanda from Connecticut on August 22, 2011:
This made my night. :3
AlexaDarling from Memphis on August 06, 2011:
Thanks so much for posting this! I love it. I'm so sick of all these ridiculous questions! I've been listening to them for the past eight years, and I wish people knew how silly they sound when they ask them.
Jaye Denman from Deep South, USA on July 03, 2011:
Terrific hub, and I've heard all the lame questions and remarks over the years.
I clicked on a link to another of your hubs and made all my comments there. Guess I was confused, but I'm an old lady....:)
Majadez on May 30, 2011:
Awesome hub! Some of these are very true of what people say to mock vegetarians. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has been approached with these childish/ignorant remarks. Thanks for sharing.
amalee from Birmingham, AL on May 02, 2011:
I absolutely hate the "if you were stranded on a desert island and there was nothing but beef jerky to eat" scenario! This is an awesome hub.
Beverly Stevens from College Station on March 02, 2011:
Loved your hub! I have been vegetarian for 25 years and have heard every thing you posted except for one of the bingo squares. You forgot, "What do you eat?" It used to be, as soon as you said you don't eat meat, the question would follow. My son got his so often he got irritated and asked me in frustration one day, "Do they think we don't eat?" For the meat-eater comment that they don't care what we eat--so not true.
When I was dating, it was impossible to order a meatless meal, off the menu on a first date, and not have the date ask, "Are you vegetarian?" It always happened.
Thanks for sharing. Great hub!
Alexander Silvius from Portland, Oregon on February 14, 2011:
I am a meat eater but I was laughing so hard reading this hub, thank you. I've had a few beers tonight, question: do you drink beer? ;-)
I agree all these sorts of comments are ridiculous, but I have to question the fact that you feel you are making a difference by reducing the amount of damage you are creating (scaling back from meat to plants that do not suffer the same way that animals do - assuming plants feel pain), doesn't that presuppose that humans, or any animal for that matter, should not even exist?
I realize that from the tone of your article, you probably would have to place this next to all the other dumb comments, but I think it is fair to evaluate something by its ultimate value as opposed to, "degrees of truth," as I put it.
As far as religion, there is nothing wrong in my book (the Bible), with vegetarianism as a lifestyle choice. Even as a meat eater, I find your choice noble. I love animals (living), but I accept that for me, eating meat is a part of what I am. I may someday join your ranks if I feel that I won't turn sickly, pale and white as Sufidreamer mentioned above :-D
Honestly, I don't know how someone who doesn't know you can be so crass as to share those jokes and half sincere questions with you. I get the feeling you are annoyed at the sarcasm from ignorant meat eaters rather than truth seeking questions.
Great hub, thanks for enlightening me.
StarCreate from Spain on February 11, 2011:
Love it, the bingo is especially hilarious - tempted to print that out and stick it on the kitchen wall actually!
One of the most irritating dumb comments I find is 'so, are you ALLOWED to eat xxx?' Like I am some kind of medical freak or obscure cultist... Honey, I am a grown-up, I am *allowed* to eat anything I damn please, and I choose *not* to eat certain kinds of foods that used to be animals that died in pain. What's not to get about that..?
chechetka from London, UK on January 03, 2011:
Thanks for this hub, it's great! I have only been a vegetarian for 3 months but I am really getting fed up with justifying my choice. Have you noticed it's always us who have to defend, I'm never attacking or trying to convince anyone that my diet is the right one.
VeganLove on December 27, 2010:
I've been getting these questions and comments for years. I think one one the dumbest ones was that the plants are living creatures and I am killing them. I had to stop myself from slapping the person so I just said really I didn't know that and walked away. I also hate the question what do you eat salads, it kills me how intelligent omnivores are. It makes you think if they eliminated all that crap meat from their diet how intelligent they would be.
Sufidreamer from Sparti, Greece on December 23, 2010:
Really good Hub, Kerry - I can't believe I missed this one! I have been veggie for over 20 years, and have heard most of those at some point.
My favourite is the 'Vegetarians are Weak' argument - my response (tongue firmly in cheek), is to invite them outside for a bout of fisticuffs. Nobody has yet taken me up on the offer :D
Liz Elias from Oakley, CA on December 23, 2010:
Excellent, well-written hub! There are several hubs out there on this topic, and they all take different angles; I've just written one myself dealing with the 'why,' animal rights aspects and definitions; LisaHW has one on how to shop and "translate" meat-based recipes, and now here is yours on dealing with dumb questions. Good job!
I am reminded also of a bumper sticker I used to see a lot in San Francisco that poses a GREAT question to omnivores:
"Why do we keep animals we call "pets" and kill animals we call "dinner?"