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Sometimes You Have to Lose to Win Again!

Writing is my passion. I have an undying thirst and quest in the field of writing. Some eat, drink, or use drugs when stressed; I write.


When so much is going wrong, it is easy for emotions to build up and it's hard to remain calm. When things are going bad, it is understandable to wish to change your life.

When you cannot reach your goals, it’s natural to want to make a change. Although my life is better today than it was three years ago when life gets hard, the pain comes and the hurt continues.

Even though I’ve dealt with the pain in the past, it doesn’t go away. My life is simple now; I’m getting older and I’m a woman who doesn’t take love for granted, a dreamer who believes dreams come true. I understand love is not just four words mumbled or shared.

When things get tough, I remind myself that no pain comes without a purpose, and there is always something to be thankful for. It’s best to move on from what hurts, though you will never forget what it taught you.

It doesn’t mean you are a loser or a failure because you made mistakes and struggled. When you don’t like where you are in life, you change it.

Your life does not need to be filled with everything positive all at once. Know what to hold on to and what to let go of because there comes a point where... sometimes you have to lose to win again.


There is no denying the truth that happiness is not the absence of problems, but you must have the ability to deal with them. Nor does getting what you want guarantee happiness.

If you're going to find happiness, it is best to take a look at what you have, instead of stressing over what you don't have. To make things seem better, don't reflect on what the world has taken from you, but learn to appreciate what you have left.

When you learn to be grateful for little things no matter how bad you have it, you wake up each day embracing your life around your struggles. Sometimes life has to close the door on us and that's a good thing because if it doesn't, we won’t move forward unless circumstances force us to.

When times are rough, don't give up and remind yourself that no pain, is no gain. When it comes down to it, we have so many paths to take and if you travel wrong, it will lead you directly on the road to being lost in a losing battle.

However, because you begin losing in life doesn’t mean that you have lost the war. Sometimes, you have to lose the fight in life to gain something worth having and win the war, expressing that sometimes you have to lose to win again.


Who says your journey has to be utterly flawless, it will get harsh but if you want to scale a particular trial you need to focus on the route that may become a little blurry before you. What is earned with hard work is well worth it, if you maintain it.

Know that there is no quick route, you have to know where all the exits are in case you lose your way or the road seems too long. Also, you can't get there by bus, car or a plane, only through hard work and risk, and by not its entirety.

When the path gets too harsh to choose, remember to decide wisely, so you don't make a wrong turn. What is most important is that you strive just to find your way, that is the reasons you travel. Everyone has their own pathway.

But sometimes bad things happen in peoples' lives that put them directly on the road to doom. That doesn't mean you should just give up; sometimes you have to lose the battle to win the war. Better yet, it is best to use a high resolution to adjust and get back on the winning team.

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I am reminded of the long troublesome year that happened a few years ago. It was as if I had one obstacle after another that comes my way. I was left to face some of the worst setbacks in life could ever offer, we all go through situations like that, which are unfair; I have pushed many boundaries in my life and they were not easy.

To experience times when it seems like one bad thing after another is going wrong, it looks as if the world is out to get you and that is a feeling of an ultimate loss.

The thing that kept me going during those challenging times is my determination and the desire of finding my own way. Also, the instinct to seek out challenges as opposed to avoiding them.

Moreover, it's relatively easy to persist when things are going well and we see progress, but when things are going wrong, we must strive to break free or the more they tend to fester and distort, only to surface again in another way, at another time.

Dreadful circumstances or tragedies will affect most of our lives at some point in time, but what is most important is that we strive not to get lost in self-pity.


Have you ever experienced times where everything went wrong and you screwed up, no matter how hard you tried, and no matter what you desire to do it didn't work out? If so, you are not alone.

Bad things happen to us all, including me. No matter what your circumstances are, you can choose your path. Especially, if you decide to love the life you have while you create the life of your dreams.

You should not blame your circumstances because over time, you will be able to change your concern and you can choose righteousness and happiness. The thing is, as long as we live in this world, we are subjected to negative things happening to us.

However, the most significant part of survival is a positive state of mind. Precisely what sets one person apart from another is how he or she choose to deal with a challenging situation.

Realize, no matter what happens to you in life you always have a choice in how you react to a problem. While you may not be able to control when obstacles happen to you, you can most certainly control how you behave while facing them. There is no such thing as an exit route door that frees you from trouble.

Troubles have a way of finding us when we least expect it. I might have lost my share of battle to problems in life, but through sheer persistence and hard work I begin to pass life's challenges with flying colors, and I learn how to win the war.


There are two things to consider when it comes time to decide whether to lose or to win, one, how to deal with the challenges that you will face each day and two, what happens when your void is filled?

Firstly, we all suffer different problems that are out of our control and it's never easy to gain back control but we must. Secondly, when the void is filled, we can embrace the emptiness we feel inside to live a life of passion, joy, and fulfillment. Then we can decide to lose or to win, meaning, lose the things that are a hinder to us that can affect us and we can win again.

The thing is, as long as you live in this world, you are subject to the ups and downs, the good and bad of life. Furthermore, life can wallop you suddenly when you least expect it, in ways that you don’t feel prepared for it.

When the challenges come, it’s easy to feel stuck, defeated and like you don’t get to choose the exercise equipment life tests and builds your strength with. When this is happening, you are tested and shaped in a way you feel least equipped and it’s easy to fall into a victim mindset.


Let today be the day you step out of the victim mindset and learn the depth of who you are. The challenges you are facing today can be the strength for tomorrow and just because the victim mentality argues that you are losing, doesn’t mean that you lost the war. Sometimes you have to lose the battle in life to gain something worth having and win the war, meaning sometimes you have to lose to win again.

When Fantasia Barrino sings the song, "Lose to Win" she does not want people to believe she was only talking about love. She stated in an interview, "When I say lose to win I don’t want people to think I’m only talking about love.”

“There are people out there who’ve lost homes and jobs... I want them to know, sometimes you have to lose those wrong things for God to put the right things in your life.” People like myself and Fantasia learn you have to lose all the wrong things in your life for God to place the right things in, lose to win again.

Not only lose but forget the wrong things that were bad for you that are taken from your life to win, yet be at peace with yourself that you no longer own whatever gone, so you can learn to appreciate and maintain when it comes along again. Fantasia tells her story which she so masterfully echoes in a song. "Win to Lose."


Fantasia - Lose to Win

Fantasia - Lose To Win


Sometimes you can tell a singer is going to be wonderful just by their name, like Fantasia Barrino. This R&B singer has a voice that's as amazing as her name, a

For each question, choose the best answer. The answer key is below.

  1. What is the title of Fantasia Barrinos memoir that was published in 2005?
    • Life Is Not A Fairy Tale
    • American Fairy Tale
    • Idolize
    • What is the title of Fantasia Barrinos memoir that was published in 2005? Life Is Not A Fairy Tale American Fairy Tal
  2. What broadway play did Fantasia Barrino star in beginning in 2007?
    • Phantom Of The Opera
    • The Color Purple
    • Cats
    • The Lion King
  3. Guilford County declared a special day in her honor. What was it called?
    • Fantasia Barrino Day
    • Fantasia the American Idol Day
    • American Idol Day
    • Fantasic Fantasia Day
  4. True or False: K-Ci and JoJo of Jodeci are related to Fantasia.
    • True
    • False
  5. In July of 2004, Fantasia became a spokes model. Which company did she sign with?
    • Tommy Hilfiger
    • Baby Phat
    • Fetish
    • American Rag Cei
  6. True or False: Did Fantasia win an NAACP Image Award?
    • True
    • False
  7. True or False: Did Fantasia go through any formal vocal training before "American Idol"?
    • True
    • False

Answer Key

  1. Life Is Not A Fairy Tale
  2. Phantom Of The Opera
  3. Fantasia Barrino Day
  4. True
  5. Tommy Hilfiger
  6. True
  7. True

Fantasia "Lose to Win" Lyrics


Fantasia Talks Being Single, Social Media & Lose to Win on NiteCap

Fantasia - Lose to win Lyrics


The #strongest people aren't always the #people who #win, and the one who refuse to quit


© 2017 Pam Morris


Pam Morris (author) from Atlanta Georgia on July 21, 2017:

You, are so welcome and thank you so much for your comment

Patty Florence from Illinois on July 20, 2017:

I really can relate to your article about winning, but sometimes losing the battle. Yes, we need encouragement in our daily struggles, and finding that one person who has such insight is a blessing. Thank you Pam!

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