Lynn lives in Upstate New York with her two fluffy dogs and tyrannical cat. With her writing, she hopes to make the world a better place.
Desperate Times = Desperate Measures
In June of 2020, I felt desperate.
I quit my job in late 2019 –the unforeseen Covid-19 lurking and waiting to strike– in order to pursue my Life and Health Insurance Certification. Soon after passing the tests after strenuous months of studying– QUARANTINE STRUCK. I had been applying to jobs while hearing of the rise in Covid cases in China, and when they started popping up in the states, things shut down faster than I expected. Suddenly nowhere was hiring, even my mom's employer who agreed to hire me once I got my license, was actually firing current employees.
Thus began my search to make money by any means necessary.
It felt like there were no other options than to try out this booming industry of sex workers. What else were we supposed to do during a lockdown other than explore new interests? Turns out... I loved it. And when you love something and become good at it– You thrive.
My social media accounts went from a couple hundred followers to thousands. I caught onto new trends really fast and adapted to them. My new job was to be on social media every day and take pictures and videos for my adoring fans. It was fun! Exhilarating, even. And it was so freeing. The only person who knew at the time was my boyfriend and, once he saw the money pouring in, he didn't mind my new profession.
But I began to lose sight of who I was. I dyed my hair blonde, always had to have my nails done, always had to be ready to film, and had to wear all the hottest clothes. My diet became a part of my business. In the end, I spent thousands on making myself beautiful and forgot to remind myself every morning that I am beautiful. When I looked in the mirror... A stranger looked back.
The Ascent vs. The Descent
How did I become the top 0.5% on the platform so fast only to fall just as quickly?
Loss of happiness.
In order to excel in the sex worker industry, you have to really love your job and keep your spirits high– Even when you have a bad interaction with a customer. The work can be mentally taxing and not enough focus is on the mental health aspect of the sex worker industry. It's hard for customers to remember that they're people too and that's why I was always strict with my fans. If they ever got too pushy on a day that I couldn't take it... BLOCK.
Never was I ashamed to block someone because some people just don't understand the word "no" or they take interactions too far and become creepy. I've been lucky that I was never stalked... But you never know these days. With so much information at the finegrtips of some only creep anything can happen. That is why safety is so important and my number one concern when I did OnlyFans for two years.
But it wasn't just OnlyFans. In order to expand and promote you have to go on different platforms. Soon enough, I had videos on PornHub and ManyVids. I had a few in-person interactions that scared me where men would say they recognized me and then would act creepy. It can be scary if you aren't prepared... But I always was. I never walked places at night or alone, and I carried a switchblade on me for safety. My car keys stayed around my neck and I always parked close to stores.
This is the sad reality of being a woman in today's society.
So when it came to my fast descent –from top 0.5% to top 60%– the answer as to 'why' is simple. I became unhappy. But more than that it was depression. The mental toll being in this industry had on me outweighed the benefits of the money. I'd rather be penniless than feel what I felt back then.
Hopeless. Lonely. Silenced.
It seemed like there was no way out. And that's when I deleted everything across all my platforms– Even the videos on my YouTube channel which had just become monetized. To say I was spiraling into even more of a depression at that point is an understatement. Now I had nothing to show for almost two years of hard work and dedication. On top of this, I left my boyfriend of 9 years and moved back in with my parents.
This is the ugly truth of what sex work can do to a woman's soul.
Word To The Much Wiser
If you are in the sex work industry, I admire you so much. Whether you're an exotic dancer, stripper, OnlyFans creator, PornHub star, and so on... You have my respect and the appreciation of so many– Never forget that.
If you ever find yourself questioning if this is the right path for you– Talk to someone! Reach out to a therapist or a friend in your life who knows you for your true self. You never want to lose who you are along the way to achieving fame or money.
Remember a few things...
- You'll get tired and feel like you're putting in so much effort, so have hobbies outside of OnlyFans! Read, spend time outside, and take breaks.
- Make sure to cultivate relationships in your life, even if they don't know about this. They can be your support without knowing but there should be one or two close people you can disclose this to. Or even join a community on Discord to chat about it!
- Back to taking breaks... Make sure you treat yourself to a vacation. If you're making the money to support your lifestyle and take a vacation– Do it! Save some money for bills and save some for travel, your future self will thank you for it.
- Be safe. Whether you work with people in person, online, or both– There are ways to stay safe and information that is right at your fingertips. Ask people who have been in the industry longer than you for their advice and they typically give it, gladly, for free.
A New Beginning
Why do I love OnlyFans so much? Because it's a platform for anyone. And I mean ANYONE.
The girl who doesn't feel like her body type is desired. The struggling parent balancing work and life. The college student just trying to pay for textbooks and a burrito on their lunch break. The nonbinary person who is just discovering who they are and want to find confidence. And especially anyone who just feels like strutting their sexy body online– Either under a made-up persona or their real name.
OnlyFans, and other XXXsites, give people the platform and ability to discover themselves in such a passionate way. You may feel lost along the way but in the end, you'll realize your true self-worth and believe in it. Worth is not the sum of beauty plus sex appeal. It's the root of who you are and only you can determine that. Once you feel worthy of loving yourself, things like self-care and treating yourself to a new pair of shoes will be a breeze.
Because you deemed yourself worthy of those things.
Now I have a free OnlyFans page dedicated to my writing because the platform is valuable to all kinds of creators! Although I still post classy pictures of myself on the platform and take customer requests, I'm no longer letting it consume my life. Now I'm in the right frame of mind after taking about 6 months off from content creating. You can watch my return to OnlyFans announcement video below and the feedback I got from this video was outstanding!