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Sensitivity, Does Not Mean Weakness

Lazola Pambo holds a Bachelor of Arts in Creative Writing from the University of South Africa.

man and woman looking at woman

Sensitivity, Does Not Mean Weakness

Somebody once lied to my face that a real man shows no emotions.

My anonymous elder, continued further with this appalling lie: that man is also a heartless beast that dies a stone cold death and never sheds a tear in his whole entire life.

At some point I firmly believed this to be true, but little did I know that I was a puppet on a string, immensely persuaded by a clown. Now let us look into our society for a brief moment. What do the statistics tell us regarding domestic violence and community upbringing?

The answer is a horrific nightmare of the escalation of suicides and loss of identity among young boys and girls, who were taught to never be sensitive.

In other words, to suck it up and deal with it. Children are evermore afraid to express their vulnerable side. The dark cloud of this matter continues to persist as they mature into the stage of adulthood. Many go around admitting that they were told, to never show whenever they are hurting but pull out a brave face in the light of the day. What kind of absurd lessons are these?

To correct these wrongs, I would like to inform anyone out there, who is caught in this trap with the shyness to speak out: sensitivity, does not mean weakness. It’s more than okay to show your vulnerable side. We do not want a society of heartless men and women, who stick out their chests to the ease of doom. Problems can still be fixed with no raising of voices.

To threaten with an iron fist is like a useless coward hiding behind his knuckles.

When order needs to take place, why is it so damn hard to be sensitive? I raise this concern because human beings are human beings and not plain robots, who have to be operated to orchestrate their movements.

If we know that we are Spirit and not merely a body, how come are we not more tolerant to that great spiritual essence of our being?

Often the excuse that many raise is that; if you are sensitive, you give yourself off as bait for another man to take advantage of you.

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I don’t know how many times I keep hearing ridiculous statements. For one to think in such a manner is like thinking in a watered-down assumption that all men are the same and have the same thought process.

Understandably so, one can find the challenge of meeting with strangers, who try to test a person’s character by aggressively checking their sensitive side. Without a doubt, I am not saying that an individual must beat himself on the ground and weep in the spur of the moment.

Sensitivity can still take place in the very same challenge of being checked by the aggressor. How so, you ask. Simply by acknowledging how much of a fool the aggressor is and not falling in the trap of returning the aggression.

Oh, I can almost hear someone in the background exclaiming: “So, are you saying that if they slap you on your cheek, you must take it with a smile and walk away with a sense of great delight?” I have learned to not answer people who know the very answer to their bewildering questions.

The beliefs of society, are often clumsy vehicles invented and driven by human beings. As we navigate further about this subject of sensitivity, I remember how one young person that had a gift of writing. He was so ashamed of being known within his community that he had dreams of being an established writer.

I was intrigued by it all and could not help myself but to ask him: why was he so embarrassed by it. The answer he gave me was a harrowing shock.

“I don’t want people to think that I’m too soft,” was what he told me. I’m sure you probably guess how appalled I must have been. It was my first time encountering another greatest lie that if you want to be a writer or follow any artistic path for that matter: you are considered to be soft.

Then again, I find it as my duty to inform the uninformed. To create or innovate is to have a sense of sensitivity. It is nothing to be shameful of or worry by thinking that you will go to prison for it. For anything in art, there has to be an element of sensitivity and a lack of it. You cannot write about nature and use toughness in all of its wonder: that would be a weird way to define nature.

Forget whoever told you that if you are sensitive that means you are a ‘cry-baby’.

I will tell you this with no fear or favor. We can all go far in life with a sensitive mind. You are not weak by being sensitive but you have reached a wonderful state of what it is to be human. To have a caring and understanding heart; that is not influenced by hate but influenced by love.

Men especially, have to do away with the notion of trying to up bring heartless boys and girls in their homes. Of course I am not telling you how to raise your children, but if you love them enough: you will not raise them to turn against you in the first place. Society needs men and women who are not just bold and carry their own weight on their shoulders, but society must accept that every human being has a sensitive nature embedded within.

We are not creating a world of people to be feared but we are creating a world of people that are tolerant to fight the ones who seek to be feared.


This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.

© 2022 Lazola Pambo

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