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The Problems of Self-Esteem and Envy

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Self-esteem issues: envy

Envy is the sorrow or sadness that an individual feels for the happiness of others, caused by conditions of success in aspects: economic, educational, social, cultural and others. The reason that originates it resides in the fact of not possessing those benefactor elements, which present in the envied person, stand out in a favorable way before other people.

Origin of envy

According to some scholars, it is an attitude learned from childhood based on experiences. The mother or father, when observing an achievement or quality of another infant, points out criticism and defects so that her child does not feel bad and also shows the same behavior towards the child.

also compares in relation to her siblings or other children of hers, they are not appropriate and therefore she learns to only see the defects, despising the qualities of others childs, to diminish the own attributes as; intelligence, values ​​and creativity, through deviant behavior, with criticism, verbal or physical aggression to others persons.

The perceptions around this negative emotion vary, as there are those who say that envy is an innate feeling of the human being.

Positive aspects and goals of life

It is an emotion that makes other alterations resurface, which can be beneficial according to the impulse they take. By envying the possession of something, the person wishes to obtain that object as well; intellectual or physical. What can mean the desire to achieve success as well.

In this case, the envied, brings well-being to the envious, presenting before him an example of overcoming, worthy of imitation. These facts arise depending on the type and degree of envy, and the way in which the envious minimizes the feeling of regret for that of hope and positivism.

Envy occurs in different situations and with the following responses:

Negative emotions and imitation

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The affected person can fall to extremes, assuming an imitative attitude that does not benefit him. In the event that it is not possible to reach or exceed the achievements of the envied person, the envious person presents negative emotions such as: depression, frustration, inferiority complex and verbal or physical aggressiveness, and other complex sensations such as guilt and shame.

According to the personal nature there are different forms of expressions and responses that are externalized according to the situation and intensity of envy. Hate towards the envied is manifested in actions such as:

Human behavior

Unwittingly, many human beings provoke the envy of other individuals. With: Intelligence, virtues, physical beauty, achievement of professional objectives, better economic situation and others.

The envied immediately perceive the manifestations of envy, and most adopt attitudes of indifference or tolerance, but there are exceptions, in which the response of the envied is just as negative as that of the envious with responses of aggressiveness and insults, due to their temperament and to the discouragement that it causes, to observe that its triumph or quality is not accepted in a positive way.

Benefit of envy

• The steps that a person must follow to reduce or control envy are:
• Calmly accept that you are envious.
• Emphasize within oneself self-respect and respect for other people.
• Plan strategies to promote this emotion with a positive attitude.
• Setting goals, whether professional or other, according to their skills and knowledge.
• Observation and assessment of his own qualities and virtues, that is, the incentive of self-love.
• Knowing the nature of this negative emotion, its repercussions and strategies to combat or manage it helps not only the person who suffers it, but also the social group or institution to which they belong.
envy as sin
In the Bible it is established as a sin and in Santiago, it says: "Because where there is envy and rivalry, there is also confusion and all kinds of evil actions."


Although it is a natural human feeling, it is a negative emotion, therefore it is necessary to combat it with positive thoughts; accepting that each human being is special and unique, with their own virtues and defects, limitations and creativity.

No one is the same as another person. We must all establish mutual respect, and if we receive attitudes of envy, apply tolerance and indifference, because the individual who does not control this emotion is worthy of our compassion, because this bad attitude can bring unhappiness in his life.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2022 Venus Mary

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