Self-confidence and confidence are two different terms with different application in real life. We shall start learning about self-confidence first as it is on the very basic level and is closest to the root of what we want to achieve when we first learn about confidence or self-confidence. Self-confidence is worked upon on the inside, on our personality, on our skills, on our learnings from past experiences, or on our talents. A person's self-confidence comes from knowing that they are ready with the skills and talents to do something. Their capability to do something worthwhile boosts their self-confidence. It is like a self-explanatory proof that we are an appropriate candidate to do something in particular. A person who is self-confident in one field might not be so in another one.
Whenever we lack in self-confidence while doing something, we are also lacking in making the right efforts or skills to do something better in that field of work. We are slacking behind. We are not competitive enough. The only cure to low self-confidence in such cases is that we should work on it further on and gain knowledge about it so that we are ready to do something right while doing it.
With all that being said, let's jump to the topic of confidence now. Most of us have confused the term self-confidence with confidence in our lives. Confidence is that state of the person in which one appears confident on the outside. It is not about having the talents, or the skills, it is about 'appearing' confident in different ways. You can be an absolutely bad speaker on the inside (which is low self-confidence), but still appears confident on the outside and speak anyways hoping that this would work for them. A confident person can get away with getting embarrassed by using humor in every situation. It is all about appearing attractive.
To become confident, one could learn to copy the body language of confident and successful people; or wear stylish clothes, or by improving the tone of words they speak, by using positive affirmations, or by acting like your favorite role-model who is highly confident.
When we compare confidence and self-confidence, the key thing to remember is that the confidence is frail whereas self-confidence is strong and cannot be beaten up with a stick. Self-confidence comes from the maturity about something. It is molded with solid bricks and experience. It cannot shake away by simply dragging it down. It will take proof and loads of explanations to quake the self-confidence. Whereas confidence can sometimes lack the capability to handle some of the truths and can easily be broken. When something is only worn as an accessory, which is confidence in this case, it can break faster than you can notice. However, some people have learnt to wear confidence along with self-confidence as their primary state. It works better than anything else. When you are self-confident and confident at the same time, you appear much more valuable. For example, to a confident and self-confident speaker, it looks like he does not just claim himself to be a good speaker, he also have the clue about what he is saying and can debate on it if needed and also handle the criticisms coming his way.
So what to do to decorate ourselves with confidence and self-confidence both? We should start working on self-confidence first which means working on our skillset, becoming knowledgeable, and upgrading our mindset. What I mean by working on your mindset is that you need to be at the state in which you are ready to take best decisions, are prepared to say what is true or false about yourself. You are basically ready for anything thrown on your way. After this, you should also work on appearing more confident in the eyes of others. So decorate yourself with everything that looks better in comparison to what you are wearing right now. Speak in a way which appears better than the tone and the style of words you use right now to explain yourself. Make it a goal to walk, talk, move, and appear better than you do it right now.
It is mentioned somewhere that faking confidence can work as good as having the true confidence. Let's understand it deeply, shall we? We can fake confidence, we can fake the heck out of it, but when we are asked to prove ourselves, we might fail if the confidence is just fake. For example, Julie is trying to work on her confidence for the speech she has to give in her English class in school. But if she doesn't work on learning and improving the content of her speech, she has aligned herself to fail miserably. Her confidence won't appear like confidence, it will appear like showing unnecessary attitude. One cannot play with confidence in any way if one doesn't have it in them for real.
I would end this article with a quote: "Truly self-confident people need not fake confidence from the outside. They just do things with full involvement and without doubting on themselves. Doubt is the reason why people are unable to stay confident as their doubts want them to notice what they are lacking at. This is the time to look at your doubts directly and fuel them with knowledge."
© 2022 Neha