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Self-Damaging Behaviors: Fears of People Who Have This Attitude

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Self-Damaging Behaviors: Fears of People Who Have This Attitude


Self-Damaging Behaviors: Fears of People Who Have This Attitude

Everybody makes bad choices in their lifetime. However, if you constantly commit these mistakes even if you are well aware of the consequences then you may have a behavior which is referred to as self-damaging.

Constantly doing this deprives you from learning from your past experiences and it also hinders you from maturing and growing as a person. Individuals who have this trait commonly exhibit at least one of the most common fears possessed by those who have a self-sabotaging behavior.

  • Fear of Letting Others Down

Individuals who have this kind of behavior are incapable of facing the fact that if they say no to someone, they will be letting them down. This leads to doing all the things that is asked of them which may lead to overly sacrificing themselves just to please other people.

  • Fear of Disturbing the Balance within the Family

Every individual has their own perception about a family. However, for those who have this kind of behavior, this basic unit of the society may the cause of their unfavorable trait. For example, if they have parents who are over controlling, they may only be contributing to this kind of behavior of their child.

As a consequence, since these people would not want to disrupt the balance in the family, they would continually follow the commands of their parents without any hesitation. In the end they will never be able to take responsibility for the consequences of their actions and will simply blame others for their own shortcomings.

  • Fear of Success

Some people with a self-damaging behavior fear success. Even if they have all the skill needed to succeed in their chosen field, they would rather take on a mediocre job because they are too afraid of what might happen once they succeed. Not only will these people miss the chance of becoming who they always wanted to be but they will ultimately never be able to experience the exciting road to success.

  • Fear of Commitment

A person with a self-defeating or self-damaging behavior usually has fears of commitment and being intimate with people. They often choose partners which are abusive or those who will only cause them pain and hurt. There are a lot of others which he or she can choose from but they are less inclined to go with them.


Self-Defeat Attitude: 4 Ways to Help Your Child

Adults are not the only ones who can have an attitude which is in line with self-defeat. This kind of behavior may even start during their younger years. More and more people are being noticed with this kind of behavior. If you are a parent and you have observed signs of this kind of behavior on your child then it is about time for you to take actions before it gets worse.

1st Step: Learn to Listen

When you are dealing with your kids and you want to help them become a better person by gradually eliminating those unfavorable traits such as self-defeat, you must learn how to listen. Listening is an integral part of any relationship especially on a parent-child level. You will not be able to help anybody, not even your kids if you do not know how to do this properly.

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Whenever your child is sharing something, may it be about their frustrations at school, patiently hear them out and avoid making reactions especially if they share an event which they are not supposed to be involved in. By listening to them, they will be more comfortable talking to you.

2nd Step: Let them Know That You Care

After listening to what your child has to say, it is now to let them know that you care about them. This should be established even before you give out any advice. If you have shared your piece and your child does not feel that you care for them, they will just reject your help never share their feelings with you ever again.

3rd Step: Believe In Your Child

After building trust and showing that you genuinely care for your child, you would then have to demonstrate that you believe in them. You need to show that you know they can change and they can turn their life around and become somebody which they have always wanted to be. This will help them realize that they can do it and they would need all the support that they can get especially from their parents.

4th Step: Make Them Feel Safe with You

This goes beyond the actual and physically holding your child. This signifies that you have to make your child realize that they are safe with you and that you will hold whatever conversation that you both had in confidence. They must realize that you will always be there to help them get through all of it.

As a parent, you will be playing an important role in the development of your kids as a person. You need to be there whenever they need you. If you think that you and your child would need further help, you can always seek the assistance of an expert.


Natacha lakhan on November 03, 2020:

Very informative

Medha on November 01, 2020:

Nice article

Wejden on November 01, 2020:


Cedric Noronha on October 31, 2020:

Very good post. Highly informative. Keep up the good work.

Tuba Arooj on October 23, 2020:


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