When we talk about self-care, we can be talking about a lot of different things.
We can be talking about having 30 minutes to read, taking a bubble bath, having some peace and quiet to meditate, having a spa day. Whatever brings you refreshment and time to yourself, that is self-care. If, every morning, you take 10 minutes to write in a journal, that is self-care.
Now, with the way the world is, unfortunately, especially for moms that are juggling a million things now, they're juggling being a teacher, helping their kids with school, keeping the house in order, running businesses, cooking, cleaning, all sorts of stuff, not to mention if they have a regular 9:00 to 5:00 job, it can be very overwhelming, as well as extremely exhausting.
Self-care gets this reputation sometimes of being selfish on our part, as moms, as wives, as business owners. But it's really our way of stepping away from all the noise and having that quiet time to reset our energetic and emotional thermometers again. Our levels get depleted. We need to be sure and replenish, to keep going, to be the most fulfilled wife and mother, business owner, employee, daughter, sister, friend, etc…
We need time to ourselves, that can come in all different ways and all different styles. For me, I like to take myself on dates. I like to spend time by myself when I go get my nails done. I like to spend alone time taking a nap. Sometimes the smallest thing can be the difference between being completely refreshed, fulfilled and feeling resentful and agitated at the world.
I want to open up a conversation about self-care. I don't want this to be a taboo subject anymore. I want people, women, men, and children to understand the importance of having your ‘me’ time, your alone time, your time to decompress, your time to reflect and recharge - so you can go back out into your life and into the world at 110%.
I take myself on dates regularly. I spend the afternoon by myself. Usually, what I do is I finish up my work, I will go and get my hair done, or my nails done, or go do some shopping. I will then go treat myself to a very nice lunch, something I don't get with my family, something that I find is a treat. I spend time being present in the moments. I enjoy the food. I enjoy the atmosphere. I people watch. I relish the time I have in the stillness.
Then when I feel complete, I move on with my day and I shift back into that wife, mom, boss mode. But for those few hours, I am just me. I have no responsibilities. I have no one to answer to. It is just me, doing what I want. That needs to be the conversation that we start having. What can you do to bring yourself to that place, where you feel that sense of freedom as a whole? No responsibilities, no checking in, no having to plan anything, it's just you and the time, and however you want to spend it is how you spend it.
So let me ask you a few questions.
>> Do you put self-care as a priority?
>> Do you put yourself as a priority?
>> Do you think self-care is something that needs to happen regularly?
>> Do you feel refreshed and recharged after you spend some time with yourself, doing what makes you feel good, what brings you happiness, what brings you joy?
Those are all questions you need to be asking yourself, and you need to be getting the right answers. The right answers are, self-care, self-love, me time is a priority. You cannot do better for others until you do better for yourself.
Find what makes feel relaxed and happy. Is it reading? Is it going for a run? Is it going to the gym? Is it going to happy hour with your friends? Maybe it’s getting on a motorcycle for a ride.
What can you do for two to three hours that really releases you from the responsibility of life, and you're allowed to just be yourself and do whatever you want in those hours that you have dedicated to yourself.
That should be something you think about every month. Every month, you should be offering yourself time. Whether it's at the beginning, middle or end, find time. It's imperative for your mental health, your emotional wellness, for your soul nourishment, to have that self-care time, to have that ‘me’ alone time.
I can guarantee you, once you start putting that as a priority, you will see so many shifts in your life. Not only energetically, but within your attitude, your daily disposition. You'll feel happier. You'll feel fuller.
If you're not taking the time for yourself, you need to take a step back, look at what the barriers are, work with them, try to break them down, and keep moving forward, and bring that path of self-care and alone time to the forefront as a priority, as a must-have.
So tell me right now, what are you going to do to put these steps in action?
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2020 Jackie Sinclair
Jackie Sinclair (author) on October 17, 2020:
Charlene - girl yes! Acknowledgement is powerful and now work toward getting better :)
So proud, great job!
Charlene Gallant from Cape Town, South Africa on October 12, 2020:
I have to admit I struggle with this alot. I feel guilty most times for wanting me time. You're right I need to change that even in a small way, just to recharge a bit and 'be present'. Thank you Jackie for a great read