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Pleasantness, Pleasant and Pleasantry

Holding degrees in philosophy and Law. Formal studies or certificates or degrees in business, theology, insurance and security. Ex-preacher.

Fun

Now I can fit into his shoes.

Now I can fit into his shoes.

Howdy

Ever wonder why some folks don’t “waste the time” being pleasant. I really enjoy pleasantness both the being and the receiving. How hard is it to give pleasantries? “How are you?” “Doing OK and you?” “Fine just fine.” Being pleasant is so often as the above. Not really sincere. Hardly pleasant. But pleasantries of this superficial example are better than not giving and taking them. Give me a pleasantry any day.

For me I like to be more sincere. “Hi Bob how are you and your kids doing?” “And your wonderful Elly?” Note the huge difference when using the names you care to know. Yes, remembering someone’s name and using it is a real pleasantry. Notice that even if you are at a place where they wear name tags using that name in greeting is real. Of course I know Lupe, Steve, Mike, Martha and Brian by sight and they know me. Just the grocery store.

I have trouble with names. You know what, that is just a cop out. I am being lazy in my pleasantness. I will work on it more. Have you ever written a thank you note and not signed your name. That would be weird. Even in internet land you can at least print your name. I will work on that also.

An act as a pleasantry. When you are doing something good up to your boundary line. Why not do the same for the other side of that boundary? You can apply that to social or your front yard. If a pleasantry distracts you from your task at hand, let it. You will do the task better after pleasant interaction with another. Check your watch. I have two neighbors and if you ask them how they are doing you might want to pull up a chair as they go on and on. Maybe I could shut my electronics down for five minutes and have real pleasant interaction. Maybe that five minutes may even make me more productive. And I may even learn something in the exchange of pleasantries.

One time I showed up five minutes late for a meeting of some import. When asked why I was late I simply responded if they knew that the Janitors wife has cancer but he still has to leave her to go to work to pay the bills. I must say that during that meeting my sincerity was never questioned. But I would like to think that talking about it may have helped the janitor. (no I did not catch his name) And again the members of the meeting.

Just a Hello

Signs

Nope I did not eat that chocolate cake.

Nope I did not eat that chocolate cake.

Courteous

“Hi”. “Good morning”. “What are you up to today?” Of course I know the answers and I am standing right there in the kitchen. So all that is just wasted talk? A little advise; Do not do that to someone who just got up and is still groggy. Do the pleasantry of getting them their coffee first. Then the pleasantry of leaving them alone. So we see that pleasantness can sometimes be the shutting up and leaving alone type.

Probably there are two types of pleasantries that become more than that. Whether you do them right is sometimes just a mystery. Someone is having a struggle. You inquire. They need to get it off their chests but also need some help with solutions. My favorite is to be quiet and listen. Often the answers come to someone just by talking it out with another. So sometimes it is really important just to listen, really listen. But sometimes a response is required. Obviously the response should lift that person up. And the response should be pleasant no matter the message. “Sorry buddy, you are a real good guy but you have to get out of your pity pot and just move forward”. “Let me know how I can help.” Boy let me tell you when you get those options wrong you are in for a bad one.

Now I was trying to make a left hand turn on a four lane road. The nice lady in her lane kept pleasantly waiting and waving me through. The problem was the other lane on her side had traffic blowing through. How nice of her and how dumb and dangerous.

I like to let people go in front of me in store lines. Seems pleasant enough. Well I do it because I want to see how they go through the check out. I make bets with myself if they will be pleasant or not after someone gave them a pleasantry. Normally I must say it is positive. It does not even take love to make our world a little better for all. What, I wonder about is the chain reaction. I doubt it is bad.

Boy Scouts are going through a rough patch right now. But I always remember that a boy scout is to be; Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent.

That sure sounds like being pleasant to me.

Look Over There

Somewhere on the Saigon river.

Somewhere on the Saigon river.

Everyday Hero?

I Hope You Get a Blessing

My mom was as strict as could be on politeness. Yes sir. Yes mam or miss. Better of course was to say: Yes Mr. Brown and Yes Mrs. White. An interesting factor is that we never did talk about race in our home. Politeness and courteousness and being pleasant know not boundaries. Race, Origin, Gender, Age, Religion and the politeness/pleasant just goes for everyone. Children to parents and parents to children. Teachers and bosses and janitors and garbage collection folk. Not to belittle the notion but why not someone’s pet?

I just really love the good stuff that comes out of the New Testament. Matthew (7:12) Lays out the Golden Rule. It is boiled down to love your neighbor and do unto him as you would have him do unto you. (OK kids, just because you would like a new toy does not mean that is what you get for mom.) That is not what that means ;-)

My wife is really not down with pleasantries as my boy and I are. I suppose that is fine, she is not rude except to me which is fine. After 20 years of loving I still find it amusing. Probably not just the honeymoon phase.

But I cannot help but think that that attitude shows disrespect. I suppose it is just engrained in me. I would reckon that I cannot pass judgment there as my perspective is all skewed.

Here is a funny one, in that all is well now. Whining is impolite. How far does that go? Leading up to my stage four cancer I would have horribly painful attacks on my pancreas. A couple of ambulance rides. But when examined after the fact I would not complain as that is rude. This “Pleasant” denial of pain got me through stage 1&2. Stage three and I whined and complained and by the time all the tests and preparations were had it was stage four. Needless to say that I am a happy hypochondriac now!

There is just a place where not being interested in people is fraught with unhappiness. We are not suggesting that you go out and be pleasant for your own sake. Although we are saying to go out and be pleasant for your own sake. If you get the point. Just look at the most cliché unmeaning exchange out there. As above; “How are you?” “Doing OK and you?” “Fine just fine.” It is not illegal to say something about the weather or sports. Maybe even a whine about something for commiseration as we tend to do.

It all comes down to if you want to make your world and their world better. I want to.

Comments

Linda Crampton from British Columbia, Canada on November 18, 2020:

Being pleasant whenever it's possible is important. Thank you for the reminder, Eric.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on November 18, 2020:

Thank you our Gypsy. I think you may be right, at least a good place to start.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on November 18, 2020:

Liz I know that you know that I know that you are very pleasant to me. I mean that both ways.

Gypsy Rose Lee from Daytona Beach, Florida on November 18, 2020:

Pleasantness all around is the best we can hope for,

Liz Westwood from UK on November 18, 2020:

I appreciate your play on the words in this article. A little more pleasantness would be very welcome everywhere these days.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on November 18, 2020:

Linda, I am (I refuse to use past tense) a hugger. God gave us two arms also :-) Interesting I told Gabriel he was being a poop just yesterday -- well he was by golly. We think being nice is cool. Not only do I listen to folks I get to listen to piano and Vietnamese practice also. Good training.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on November 18, 2020:

Nithya you are so right. I feel bad for a grumpy person but it still feels good to give it a go.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on November 18, 2020:

Thank you Peggy and peace be with you and yours. Personally I think being pleasant takes a little more time. And what a great way to spend it.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on November 18, 2020:

Mr. Happy, we suffer from eternal happiness. I like to spread it around. Yesterday it was dropping a table on my toes that hurt. (don't ask what spouses get us to do)

Weather was a brutal 49 degrees this morning.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on November 18, 2020:

Thank you Chirtrangada. Indeed you are a very pleasant soul.

Linda Lum from Washington State, USA on November 18, 2020:

Eric it doesn't take any more time to be nice than it does to be a poop (I said that for Gabe's benefit, OK?) And listening, really listening seems to be a lost art. Is that because we don't actually see people anymore, face to face? My dad always said there's a reason God gave us 2 ears and just 1 mouth.

Nithya Venkat from Dubai on November 18, 2020:

Saying hello, how do you do, how are you- just being pleasant and polite helps to connect with people and show them that you care. Being pleasant makes me feel good and happy.

Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on November 18, 2020:

Being courteous and pleasant is something that takes no less time to do than the opposite, but it can make a huge difference in people's lives. Thanks for sharing this evergreen topic with us, and have a good day today!

Mr. Happy from Toronto, Canada on November 18, 2020:

So, how You doin'? I suppose it doesn't snow where You are. It's snowing here so, hibernation is about to settle-in. I can sit and chat, may the Gods help You. Haha!! Careful, or it might be hard to get rid of me.

I do think Being pleasant is important. It is important to one's self as well as it is important for other Selves. I am not sure how the "Karens" of this world make it through the day. I chose to Be happy, whatever happens. I sliced my finger yesterday chopping-up a chicken; I was still happy even when I was trying to figure out if that was my blood, or the chicken's blood. Haha!! "Blood In Blood Out" - that's a movie I believe.

Alrighty, You have a pleasant remainder of the week. Cheers!

Chitrangada Sharan from New Delhi, India on November 18, 2020:

A pleasing article, and it was a pleasant read.

I agree with you that pleasantness, comes back to us, if given.

Thank you for sharing.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on November 18, 2020:

Pamela you made me think how nice it is to get a pleasantry back. Although that may not always be the case, being pleasant has to be a way of life I think.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on November 18, 2020:

Thank you Paul and you are quite welcome. It is my pleasure.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on November 18, 2020:

Manatita I have to admit that while I am being pleasant I feel no conflict.

Eric Dierker (author) from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on November 18, 2020:

Bill ain't it great to be past the 1/2 century mark and still trying and learning how to do better. I read a self help piece they were seemingly trying to teach how to be older to youngsters. I have to think on that.

Pamela Oglesby from Sunny Florida on November 18, 2020:

This is a great article, Eric. and I couldn't agree with you more. I think pleasantness is imortant. When I am pleasant to people even in a store they are pleasant back to me. That is a win-win. You do make the world a better place.

Paul K Francis from east coast,USA on November 18, 2020:

Thanks for your pleasant words. they make our world better.

manatita44 from london on November 18, 2020:

Your last sentence says it all. In other words, use the Heart ... that thing that identifies, feels more, like a child. No mind, just being. Great eh? Thanks a lot, Bro.

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on November 18, 2020:

I don't know what else to say but that I agree. I was raised to be polite. As I grew older, I actually meant it when I was polite with people. It kind of grew on me, you know? I, too, have trouble remembering names, but I muddle through, and make sure the rest of the "conversation" is genuine.

On the flip side, I despise rudeness. I work on my temper all the time, full-time job actually, and most of the time pleasant wins. :)