Unlocking the Secret to Beating PCOS: A Lifelong Remedy Discovered

Author:
Writing Coach -- Rajinder Soni
Updated:
Nov 28, 2023

This condition is becoming an alarmingly common reproductive health issue. Rajinder is pleased to announce that his wife has successfully overcome the condition, which has prompted the creation of this post.

What is PCOS?

PCOS, or polycystic ovaries, is a syndrome related to genes that presents several symptoms. These symptoms include the inability to lose weight, weight gain around the waist, irregular periods, excess facial hair and acne, difficulties in getting pregnant, and recurrent miscarriages. Women with polycystic ovarian syndrome may experience some or all of the symptoms mentioned above. While some women may experience frequent miscarriages, others suffering from polycystic ovaries may conceive easily. On the other hand, some may struggle with weight gain and delayed periods throughout their lives.

Polycystic ovarian syndrome is the most common cause of menstrual irregularities in women aged 15 to 45 years. PCOS is primarily responsible for fifty percent of the issues faced by women suffering from conditions such as recurrent miscarriage, infertility, and sudden weight gain.

Although this condition is not new and has been around for years, its incidence has increased, possibly due to lifestyle changes, rising environmental pollution, and dietary habits. Our ability to diagnose this problem has also improved with the introduction of transvaginal ultrasound (although ultrasound performed with a full bladder may miss the diagnosis in most cases of PCOS).

The ultrasound expression of PCOS remains present from birth until death. However, PCOS may not exhibit all its features in the initial stages. This is why some patients can have children (after having regular periods until then), but then, with an increase in weight, start experiencing delayed periods.

pcos-and-tips-on-dealing-with-it — Canva

PCOS and Diabetes

Medical professionals have identified a significant correlation between Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) and the likelihood of developing diabetes. Consequently, doctors often prescribe daily medication to counteract the onset of this disease. Women diagnosed with PCOS face an elevated risk of glucose intolerance, rendering them more susceptible to diabetes. This condition can manifest at an early stage in life or during pregnancy, commonly referred to as gestational diabetes in medical terminology. Moreover, these women possess a fifty percent chance of developing diabetes after reaching the age of 40. Consequently, it becomes imperative for individuals with PCOS to adopt preventive measures, such as weight loss and dietary modifications, from an early age.

Treatment of PCOS with Allopathy or Modern Medicine

Allopathy, also known as modern medicine, approaches the treatment of Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) as a hormonal imbalance. The primary course of action involves hormone replacement therapy (HRT), which entails administering hormones following a thorough evaluation of the patient. Additionally, a personalized diet plan and exercise regimen may be recommended to complement the treatment.

There is a growing consensus that PCOS is linked to a malfunction in insulin, a hormone responsible for regulating blood sugar levels. Consequently, doctors may prescribe diabetic medications such as metformin to address this aspect of the condition. In cases where infertility and hormone imbalance are prominent concerns, surgery becomes a viable option. Surgical interventions may involve puncturing follicles in the ovary or removing tissue from the ovary.

However, it is crucial to acknowledge that each of these treatments carries potential side effects. Therefore, it is imperative to engage in open and thorough discussions with your gynecologist, as well as conduct personal research to fully comprehend the available choices and their associated risks. This principle applies not only to allopathy but also to other medical systems, as you bear the responsibility for your overall well-being.

Natural or Ayurvedic Treatment for Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome

Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) may yield favorable outcomes in the short term; however, it is not advisable for long-term use due to potential complications. The administration of artificial hormones disrupts the natural functioning of the endocrine system, inducing a state of dormancy.

In light of this, an alternative evaluation and treatment approach for Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) is proposed. Consider the following recommendations:

1. Adhere to regular meal intervals. For instance, if you typically have breakfast, lunch, and dinner between 8 to 9, 12 to 2, and 8 to 9 respectively, it is crucial to maintain this schedule. By doing so, the thyroid gland becomes accustomed to releasing its secretions at these specific times. Any deviation from this routine places undue strain on the glands. Even if you only consume a glass of milk, ensure you adhere to the designated time.

2. Restrict your salt intake. Prepare meals without salt and add it to taste afterward, preferably using saindhav salt (Himalayan crystal salt).

3. Incorporate papaya into your breakfast or dinner at least two to three times a week until your menstrual cycles become regular. Additionally, consume porridge made from Ragi extract (nachini, millet, Eleusine coracana). Enhance the taste with crystal sugar (Khadisakhar, Mishri) instead of regular sugar. Crystal sugar is a safe alternative, although individuals watching their weight may prefer sugar substitutes.

4. Avoid napping after lunch. Instead, have a glass of buttermilk (prepared without salt).

5. Steer clear of consuming or indirectly using certain foods, including brinjals (eggplant), peas, peanuts, cauliflower, seafood, pickles, curds (buttermilk is acceptable), green chilies, mustard, or bakery products (although pastries in limited portions are permissible).

Simple Remedies and Dietary Changes for Regulated Menstrual Cycles

1. Purchase Ashwagandha roots (Withania somnifera; approximately 150 grams) and Arjun bark (Terminalia arjuna; around 70 grams) from a local herbal shop. Divide both of these ingredients into 30 equal parts.

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Each morning, boil one part in three cups of water (approximately 150 ml) until it reduces to one cup. Filter the mixture and add one cup of cow's milk. Boil the mixture again on low heat until only the milk remains. While boiling, add two cardamoms for added flavor. Consume this milk on an empty stomach in the early morning.

If desired, a small amount of sugar can be added for taste. The remaining filtrate of Ashwagandha and Arjun can be used in a similar manner in the evening. During the summer months, Shatavari (Asparagus racemosus var. javanica) can be used as a substitute for Ashwagandha.

2. If your menstrual cycle does not resume after 30-35 days, you can try the following mixture for three days:

- 10 grams of Nagkeshar (Mesua ferra flower stamens)
- 10 grams of crystal sugar (Khadisakhar, Mishri)
- 10 grams of cow's ghee (clarified butter from a cow)

These amounts are for one day. Mix the ingredients together and consume them with milk once a day. If your periods still do not resume after taking this medicine, there is no need to worry. Continue taking the above medicine, and eventually, your menstrual cycle will resume, along with proper ovulation.

By following this simple remedy and making dietary changes, you can lead a normal life with regulated menstrual cycles and improved fertility. If you feel the need for further evaluation, it is advisable to consult a reputable Ayurvedic physician. A personalized and specialized treatment plan will help expedite the healing process.

2. Panchakarma techniques such as Basti, Uttar Basti, Vaman, Virechana, and Nasya can also be pursued.

3. Incorporating specific yoga asanas like Simhasan, Vajrasan, Shalabhasan, and Sarvangasan can also prove beneficial. By diligently practicing these yoga asanas in conjunction with the consumption of ayurvedic medicines, you can experience remarkable advantages.

Ayurveda suggests a simple test before trying to get pregnant:

In addition to the aforementioned natural remedies, this simple Ayurvedic method can assist in determining the normalcy of menstrual cycles and the presence of proper hormonal function. To perform this method, a few drops of menstrual blood should be placed on a clean white cloth and left for a few seconds. Subsequently, the cloth should be washed with plain warm water, avoiding the use of soap or detergents. By observing whether a pickle-like stain is left on the cloth, one can ascertain the healthiness of their periods according to Ayurvedic principles. Once this is achieved, individuals can then proceed with attempts to conceive.

Acknowledgements: We extend our gratitude to the esteemed Dr. Sumit for his significant contribution to this article. For further information, we recommend referring to Dr. Sumit's publication "Ayurveda for Women" from 2011, as well as visiting his website at https://www.nlam.in/.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and does not substitute for diagnosis, prognosis, treatment, prescription, and/or dietary advice from a licensed health professional. Drugs, supplements, and natural remedies may have dangerous side effects. If pregnant or nursing, consult with a qualified provider on an individual basis. Seek immediate help if you are experiencing a medical emergency.

Comments

Satwika on May 05, 2020:

Pcod ,problem irregular periods.

Kesar on December 07, 2019:

medicine ..i am also having pcod got getting my periods . So if it follow the steps and if got my periods so can I stop taking those herbs or I have to take those herbs through out my life...

Can this problem be completely cure forever if i do follow the method..

Writing Coach -- Rajinder Soni (author) from New Delhi, India on November 20, 2019:

Hi Asmeen, please talk with her gynecologist about Himalaya Evecare also.

Asmeen on November 20, 2019:

I HV been diognose with pcod

my gynecologist had prescribed ayurvedic tablet M2 tone ,hyponidd, and glycyphage

Halemane Muralikrishna from South India on September 24, 2019:

Herbal medicines are more natural than factory made medicines. Due to communication gap and first hand knowledge of the herbs, it is losing its value. Those who have PCOS must read this eye opener article. Wonderful read.

Prantika Samanta from Kolkata, India on September 24, 2019:

A thorough and an informative article. I will bookmark this article for reference.

mitali on June 06, 2016:

Need help for Hair thinning happening due to PCOD. Also taking Himalaya Eve care without consulting is a right decision?

Sneha on June 06, 2016:

Hi i am a PCOD patient. Right now i am taking Ayurvedic treatment as i have tried lot of Allopathy and very against to take medicines and tablets i want to cure my self naturally with diet and Yoga which plays major roll in PCOD if i am not wrong. My problem is with hair thinning which is happening day by day i have curly hairs with which i am able to hide my baldness but i need to know if theirs any treatment for it as in PCOD we have to suffer with the same. Kindly suggest

Thank You

Writing Coach -- Rajinder Soni (author) from New Delhi, India on April 10, 2016:

Please stop spamming and let real user or patients write down comments here.

Writing Coach -- Rajinder Soni (author) from New Delhi, India on September 20, 2015:

I have deleted several comments from above as those were posted by spammers. Please don't follow the advice of any spammers here using casts, spells etc for treating pcos. PCOS is a disorder and is treatable with Himalaya Evecare tonic which is available at all ayurvedic stores throughout the world. Please write me a reply here and I will surely help you in treating this. Everything else is in God's hands.

akansha on May 24, 2015:

suggest some indian author book for pcos...

joshitha on January 10, 2015:

Am suffering frm pcos am using novelon 21 tablets first pacl after how many months i can become pregnent

bhanu on April 21, 2014:

hiii i have pcod problem no periods my report shows small peripheral follicles of d size 3-8mm with central echogenic stroma

no e/o free fluid in pod

i used benforce -m tablets daily 2 times

plz help me with out laproscopy any ayurvedic or homeopathy medicies

henna on April 07, 2014:

and 1 more think this himalayaeve care u mentional is it helpful in reducing the male hormones androgens which will help in reducing hair growth ..becoz i have heard that spearmint tea reduces the male hormones.....plz reply soon

henna on April 07, 2014:

hii soni...after reading or going through several blogs i found that spearmint tea helps in reducing hairs in pcod problems.....is it safe to drink...want your comments on this ....and is it safe if we use peanut butter and eat white rice..because in some pcos blogs it says that not to eat white rice. and dairy products ..can we drink skimmed or low fat milk....waiting for your answer...

Writing Coach -- Rajinder Soni (author) from New Delhi, India on February 25, 2014:

Hi Heena, I have already recommended to several women to take Himalaya's Evecare which works best for PCOs

Karishma on February 19, 2014:

hello soni plz answer to my querry ...

heena on February 14, 2014:

hii soni, I am also suffering from pcod with hairs on face and body also and hairfall is also there and my weight is also incrasing i am trying a lot still not able to loose weight .I took medicines from 2 doctors but still aftr 6 or 8 months same problem with delay in menstrual cycle continued ..I am thinking of using baidyanath ashokarishtha is it good...??please give some suggestion

Azeem on January 27, 2014:

Hi,

My wife is suffering from PCOS from last 12 years and 3 months before she started homeopathic medicine and nw having menstrual from last 45 days and still going on. she is having weakness and low HB level.

Doctor is suggesting that dont stop remedies and it will stopped automatically. let me know your opinion for this as we concerned about health and HB Level.

Karishma on January 23, 2014:

I am suffering from PCOD . I consulted doctor , then doctor suggested me to take MYOTOL-F tablet for duration of 3 month. trying to conceive, but

this month I observed light blood spots during periods which last just after 2 days... Am I pregnent???

please help me .

Varsha Tanwar on December 29, 2013:

I am 25 ,unmarried . I am suffering from PCOD with heavy and frequent bleeding and low platelet count. I am taking Patanjali medicine, which includes Ashokarishta ,patrangasava, tablet Giloy Ghanvati, Kanchnar guggal and Stri Rasayan Vati and a mixture of Sphatik Bhasma,Swarna Makshik Bhasma, Muktashukti Bhasma, Kamdudha Ras, and Keharwa Pishti . For first three months I was taking Ashokarishta and Patrangasava and Kanchnar Guggal andd mixture mention above ,my bleeding was normal and my menstrual cycle was of 20-22 days. From last 2 weeks I started Stri rasayan vati for get my periods regulaize ( increase the number of days of menstrual cycle ) and Giloy ghanvati to increase platelet count. But in that month my bleeding is abnormal, it was heavy with large clots for 4-5 days. Please suggest what to do ,Do i need to add some ayurvedic medine along with this or to cut of some medicine which are mentioned. Please help I am really worried.

Writing Coach -- Rajinder Soni (author) from New Delhi, India on December 13, 2013:

Hi Bhuvana and Lokesh, please start using Himalaya's Evecare. It is very effective in PCOD. I recommend long-term treatment as I have seen very good results.

lokesh on December 11, 2013:

hi can u please tell me pcod treatment in Ayurvedic Hospitals in pune

Bhuvana on December 10, 2013:

Hi, i have pcod problem since from 2 years due to this i have irregular periods. pls suggest me any natural medicines to cure this problem

simran345 on July 30, 2013:

ANd forgot to mention, i have very very scanty periods, i hope it can be corrected as well with ayurveda herb.

simran on July 30, 2013:

Hi , I am quite impressed the way i see you helping over here to ppl like me, so i will also like to ask you regarding me. I am 36 married , have a daughter, since last 2 yrs i am suffering from pcos, it has takn my life on toll, my skin has got worst with acne/ acne marks/ melasma/ hair loss. tried everything under the sun. I weigh 70 kg now, i was 58 kg beofre, i do yoga for around 3 hrs everyday still unable to loose weight which again i know is related to pcos.. can you please help me ., i will be really really very thankful, Thanks and God bless!!!

Trupti13 on July 18, 2013:

Hi,

I am Trupti, i am 27 yrs and my weight is 90 Kgs, height 5' 4''.I am suffering from PCOD since i remember. I have taken a lot of allopathy and Homeopathy medicines since yrs. Only when i keep taking medicines i get my periods else no. I was fed up of medicines and stopped taking it from last 2 yrs and not got my periods since then. But due to excess weight gain i have started exercise and diet and lost a lot of weight. My dietician have advised me to start taking Ayurvedic medicine. Please advice me something. As Ayurved is my only last hope.

Thanks and Regards,

Trupti.

Tulip on June 26, 2013:

First time when I visited a doctor before that, I had my periods after three months and the flow was for more than 15 days. Earlier too my periods were irregular since the onset of my menstruation but never was it so severe. Also I used to get mild acne only on my face and back. But when I turned 20 I got hair around my nipples and got lots of acne on my chest , back and face. Maybe because it was lack of good diet and exercise . Since the time I was diagnosed with PCOS, I am on birth control pills while taking 6 months of gap.

From the time I am taking BCP, my symptoms have aggravated whenever i go off the pill i.e increased weight, more acne everywhere, more mood swings , more anger and never got my periods normally, it is always induced.

While on pill, I have hair fall. I gained weight but not too much,I am 5 ft 1 inch tall and weigh 50.6 kg. I have darker skin on underarms too. Now I want treat myself naturally with ayurveda but I am confused about which category I come in, insulin resistant or non-insulin resistant.

I have been doing certain blood work and this is what i got in the first blood test in jan 2010

cholesterol : 245 mg/dl

triglyceride : 101 mg/dl

LDL : 176 mg/dl

HDL : 49 mg/dl

VLDL : 20 mg/dl

Liver function:

Bilirubin : 0.8 mg/dl

Direct Bilirubin : nil

SGCT (AST): 40 U/L

SGPT (ALT) : 46 U/L

sex hormones

testosterone : 58.74 ng/dl

SHGB : 43.48 nmol/L

free testosterone : .87 ng/dl

bioavailable testosteron 22.15 ng/dl

serum albumin : 4.7 gms%

prolactin : 14.10 ng/ml

T3 - .80

T4 - 9.87

TSH - 3.15

Insulin - 20 ulU/ml

accordingly please suggest me some diet and exercise regime.

Lalitha on May 06, 2013:

My daughter is now aged 17 and weighs 60 kgs. Her height is 163 cms.

At the age of 13 she attained puberty and had normal periods for 2 years. Then it stopped suddenly. We went to gynec and she was diagnosed with PCOD. Her weight was around 70 kgs and then was 80 kgs last year and in the past one year she has reduced 20 kgs (by exercise 10 kgs and rest by diet only no time for exercise)

For the last 2 years she gets her periods only if she takes medicines otherwise no periods. She has acne, hair in her chin and in her stomach area. The cysts are multiple and in the size of 5 – 6mm.

Her blood sugar is 108 random and Serum insulin is 63. Her LH is 8.8 and FSH is 4.8

We have started on ayurveda medicines, the doctor gave the below medicines during our first visit to enable her get periods (she had her last periods in Nov’ 12 and till Feb’13 no periods)

stroulyasheva podi and asked to make kashyam at home, (i hope the name is correct) rajapravirtini vati ayaskriti for a week.

she got her periods only for half a day.. then it stopped so we went back to dr.

She then gave the medicated bitter ghee for 10 days and then asked to come for abhyangam and on saturday – 23rd feb’13 did vamanam she did not vomit much and hence said could be pitta body type and has given below medicines

rajapravirtini vati – 2 tabs morn and evening before food

tila kashayam – 15 ml before food

ayaskriti – 30 ml after food

Sowbhakya sunithi – 10 ml before food

dhanvantiri thilam – oil bath and apply in stomach area 10 min before bathing.

She got her periods on March 19th for 2 days only.

Only diet restriction is No sweets, curd, buttermilk, fruits and juices. She is still continuing these medicines and yet to get her periods.

I request you to please let me know if these are sufficient to cure PCOS or are there any much more effective ones.

Kindly let me know

Thanks

Writing Coach -- Rajinder Soni (author) from New Delhi, India on March 23, 2013:

Drowsiness, nausea, irritation. Etc. Yasmin is a birth control pill and also a hormone replacement therapy. So stop this course and start HImalaya Evecare which will provide same benefits without side effects. Consult a natural practitioner for dosage or start taking the syrup according to the dosage recommended on the bottle.

Writing Coach -- Rajinder Soni (author) from New Delhi, India on March 23, 2013:

divya112 on March 18, 2013:

I am 23 years old, weighing 55kg and 5'2 height.

I have disagonised with PCOD problem and am taking Yasmin tablet from past 3 months. i was advised by doctor to take Yasmin for another 3 months along with g-reg-sr-1000.

I wanted to know effects of taking these.

Writing Coach -- Rajinder Soni (author) from New Delhi, India on March 13, 2013:

From your questions I reach to this conclusion:

You are overweight-the reason is PCOD.

Chrominac A tabs have been prescribed for strengthening Chrominac A is a comprehensive approach for management of PCOS (a heterogeneous disorder).

Overall it improves insulin sensitivity;combats elevated androgen levels;improves glucose uptake into cells and adipose tissue;skeletal muscles;improves pancreatic beta cell functioning; and also helps to loose extra body fat

Overall induces ovulation along with ovulation inducers.

Though it seems a good medicine but I would request you to use HImalaya Evecare syrup which is a natural medicine having Indian herbs really effective in management of PCOS but one important thing to be noted here is its long term treatment of almost 1 to 2 years depending on the severity of your PCOS. Yes it will cure PCOS but it takes time.

Amulya on March 13, 2013:

I am not able to view your post, this was my question to you:

I am 28, my height is 5'2 & 65kilos..recently i got diagnosed with PCOD problem & have a small cyst in my uterus. I underwent a miscarriage last year, not sure about reason. Usually my periods get delayed by 1week or 10days, but last month i did not get my periods for over 2months...so my gynac prescribed me Chrominac-A tablet for 3months...I have been taking this tablet for a month now, do you think this medicine would work fast??? Is it some kind of contraceptive? During this medication is it safe to get conceived? Does it have any side effects? Also can this be treated as a vitamin tablet to strengthen my capacity to conceive? Looking forward to hearing from you.....thanks

Writing Coach -- Rajinder Soni (author) from New Delhi, India on March 12, 2013:

I already replied Amulya or pls ask the question again.

Amulya on March 12, 2013:

I am waiting for your reply :(

Amulya on March 07, 2013:

Hi Soni,

I truly appreciate your interest in helping out people with your suggestions, which would mean a lot to people like me.

Writing Coach -- Rajinder Soni (author) from New Delhi, India on March 06, 2013:

PCOS and weight gain are interrelated. Don't go through these liposuction and lap surgeries etc and instead take my humble advice and start taking two teaspoons of HImalaya Evecare syrup everyday for at lest two years. No side effects. Natural medicine. Works better than any allopathic HRT pills available in the maket.

seema singh on March 04, 2013:

hi soni,

i m suffering from pcos from last 6 years and y age is 30 years.i hve herd about ovarian drilling and laproscopic surgeries to cure pcod......will these help in removing pcos permanently.and i m planning of liposuction for weight loss but i m afraid that after doing dat,will it again come back....plzzz help

Writing Coach -- Rajinder Soni (author) from New Delhi, India on March 04, 2013:

No Roopa don't stop Evecare it will not harm you. It has no side effects. You need to be on this Ayurvedic medicine at least for two years before this problem is treated from the root. Natural medicine takes time to heal. But I advise u to not stop Evecare a single day. Evecare will not harm you. Don't stop even if you are experiencing regular periods for months. Best of luck

roopa on February 22, 2013:

Hi,

I want to know after taking evacare for 3 months for pcos,periods will get regular continuously for years or what care should be taken

Jasmine on November 23, 2012:

I am trying to conceiv from ladt 3 years. Because of pcos i couldn t. my periods are also irregular from last 6 to 7 months. I like to have ayurved treatment to take my periods back. My question is that, I am using cumin seeds, brinjals and other ayurvedic herbs (Ashwagandha roots, Arjun bark) to take my period at time, and with the same time i m trying to conceive. Is it right to take all the food and herbs while planing for a baby?

rachnafernandes on October 15, 2012:

Nagkesar can be taken if i am trying to conceive ?

plz update me

rachna on October 15, 2012:

I am trying to conciev from last 2 years , is it fine to take nagkesar while conceinig ?

shaliniml on September 25, 2012:

HI ,

i m 33 years old,and over weight.i gained weight in last 6 months only.i had regular periods all my life but from last few months i have my periods just for 2 days.and its becoming less very time.Could it be PCOS? i m trying to conceive but couls not.Can evecare help me ?

please answer my query.

waiting for ur reply

thanks in advance.

Writing Coach -- Rajinder Soni (author) from New Delhi, India on September 22, 2012:

Siri, do you know long-term hormone replacement therapy has been associated with breast cancer. I advise all women visiting this page to stop taking Diana, Yasmin, etc. Instead start Himalaya Evecare tonic which is an ayurvedic remedy for PCOS and also does not have any side effects. When you know that only medicine can help your PCOS then why not start taking a natural one instead of chemicals that will ruin your overall health. Believe me these HRTs are deadly.

@Priti, follow the same advice as given to Siri and others and also maintain your weight according to optimal BMI. Go to gym, walk for exercise, anything to maintain weight. This is the most important problem with PCO patients.

siri on September 22, 2012:

hi..

i m 20yrs old..i m suffering from pcod since menarche..and using medicines.(diane,yasmin..etc..).but during use only menstrual cycle will come regular after that situation repeats…overflow will occur and cycles continues for days.... since 7yrs i m using medicine but of no use…i have no thyroid problem but i m overweight…plzzz help me out of this problem…i m suffering a lot due this problem..suggest me a gynaecologist in hyderabad...

Preeti on September 19, 2012:

Hello Sir,

I am Preeti age 22 yrs height is 5ft 2 inches weight is 64 kgs having periods at the age of 11 yrs but from last 3-4 years facing a problem of irregular period. During Ist year I consult with gyne after ultrasound it was observed that suffering from hormonal problem in this period I used to take the treatment from alophatic, homeopathic and ayurvedic but no result the problem is still going on. But last from one year again consult with gyne and found the PCOS, in this year my weight is increased about 5-6 kgs from waist, starting of face hair, now the period is absent when I used to take the pills like dronis the period is coming otherwise no. Please help me what should I do. My marriage is near plz help mee….