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Overcome Alexithymia: Learn To Know What You Are Feeling

Joy sets goals for continuous achievement, and loves connecting with others by helping them reach their own ideals and aspirations.

What Do You Need Most?

We can each learn to influence our own emotions, and give ourselves the gifts we need.

We can each learn to influence our own emotions, and give ourselves the gifts we need.

Lists of Tricky Emotions

Below we present several checklists of emotions, designed to assist you in becoming aware of your emotional states. Many of us experience alexithymia, which is a lack of discernment concerning emotions, or an inability to recognize and describe emotions in oneself and others. These lists are designed to help you pin down what you are feeling. You will use them first when by yourself, or in "calm" circumstances, so you have less emotional clutter through which to wade. Later, after practice, you can use them to train yourself to know what you are feeling in other, "heavier" circumstances.

For More Information

Please see the end of this article for information on previous parts in this series, our qualifications, and an explanation of our approach to vision boarding.

Frustration Finding Answers

Do you find that emotions present an endless cycle of frustration as you try to identify and understand them? Hope is within reach.

Do you find that emotions present an endless cycle of frustration as you try to identify and understand them? Hope is within reach.

We will not keep our secrets from you, but hope to help you end cycles of pain.

We will not keep our secrets from you, but hope to help you end cycles of pain.

How to Use the Lists Effectively

The lists are divided into three main sections, each with its own aim. There will seem to be some overlap as you work your way through these sections, but each serves its own purpose, and should be treated carefully. Each will reveal new aspects of your thinking patterns to you.

The three sections are:

  • Core emotions
  • Reactions to your home
  • Environment triggers

Using the Core Emotions List

In order to use the first list to its full extent, you should try it in a place you feel at least a little comfortable and safe. This could be the most comfortable room in your home, or some place in nature--any place that you associate with happiness, or at least neutrality. The mere act of thinking through the emotions listed below is likely to trigger unpleasant memories--and though it may trigger hopeful, happy memories as well, they are likely to be overwhelmed by the more negative sensations. So it is important to start off with as great a feeling of well-being as possible, in order to gauge your true state.

Wheel of Emotions

Aura colors are traditionally associated with particular moods.

Aura colors are traditionally associated with particular moods.

Facing the Truth

The purpose of this first list is to reveal how you feel most of the time--apart from directly negative or toxic people, or uncomfortable influences and situations. So allow yourself to relax in some quiet place, and tell yourself it's okay to feel what is true. You are allowed to see the truth about yourself and others. You are in the process of changing your life for the better, and facing the truth will help in the long run.

If you feel you are going to hurt someone by knowing or facing the truth, try asking yourself who you might be hurting by ignoring the truth. Pain is a reality, but it passes when you allow God to bring the necessary changes and healing, and stop trying to ignore the fact that you are not yet healed.

Emotions and Their Vibrations

overcoming-fear-through-vision-board-development-facing-your-emotions

How to Begin

Mark each emotion that you connect with strongly, or that you feel excited or "tight" over. There may be dozens, or there may be only a few. The point isn't how many, but how deeply you feel, and whether you are able to recognize these emotions. If you can acknowledge them, even just to give them a nod in passing, they will begin to reveal to you your heart's condition, and then you can begin to see what to do to get better. So go on first impressions--resist the urge to overanalyze each possibility. This is a learning experience for your use, not a test. No one else needs to see your results.

Format

I am unable at this time to provide an easily printable version of the lists, with proper checkboxes. So while I get such a version developed, you can print the article or screenshot the lists. These tables can then be marked in any way you choose. We suggest using a highlighter to mark applicable selections, or use a photo processing app to "doodle" circles around the choices.

There is no such thing as a "bad" emotion. An emotion is simply an indicator.

Emotions as Indicators

After you have been through the first list once, you can consider using it to evaluate how you feel in other, more tense situations, or around other people. This will give you further insights into your heart's thoughts. Try not to be afraid of "negative" emotions. There is no such thing as a "bad" emotion. An emotion is simply an indicator. It is how you deal with emotions that counts. Afterall, even a "positive" emotion, such as elation, can be damaging in the wrong situation (say, at a funeral). So just take them as they come, and allow your hands to mark the ones that seem to apply. Don't be afraid to make a mistake, and don't worry about understanding each one right now. Just mark the boxes. Evaluation will come later. Marking the boxes is a positive step toward healing.

Neurodiversity can mean that emotions are extra challenging.

Neurodiversity can mean that emotions are extra challenging.

Some of us experience more and deeper emotions than others, and require more time to process and understand them. This is okay.

Some of us experience more and deeper emotions than others, and require more time to process and understand them. This is okay.

Core Emotions--Negative

Abandoned

Abused (physically, sexually, emotionally, psychologically)

Accused

Accused

Accusing

Affronted, Offended

Aggressive

Anger (outside yourself)

Angry

Apathetic

Apprehensive

Arrogant

Atrophied (emotionally, physically, mentally)

Avarice (sense of)

Bored

Boring

Captive, Caged, Jailed, Imprisoned

Chaotic

Chaos (sense of)

Cheerless

Clueless

Crazy

Cruel

Cold (emotionally, physically, psychologically)

Complaining (urge to, sense of)

Confused

Contentious

Contention, Wrangling (sense of)

Corrupted

Corruption (sense of)

Crass

Creeped Out

Dark

Deceitful

Defeated

Deformed

Demanding

Demented

Depressed

Despair

Devastated

Devastating

Difficult

Dirty

Discouraged

Discouragement (sense of)

Dizzy

Doormat Behavior

Drugged

Drunk

Drunkenness, Substance Abuse (sense of)

Expensive (you have cost someone a lot, or they treat you as if you have)

Fear

Fighting (sense of)

Fighting (temptation to)

Frenzied, Frantic

Frightened

Frivolous

Fruitless

Frustrated

Full, Distended (uncomfortably)

Grasping

Greed (sense of)

Greedy

Grief (sense of)

Grieving (you want to or do)

Gross

Hallucinating

Happy

Hard-Hearted

Hateful

Hard-Hearted

Helpless (physically, emotionally, psychologically)

Hidden

Hiding (you want to)

Hopeless

Horrible

Horror (sense of)

Humbled

Hurried

Hurrying (sense of)

Hurt

Hypocritical

Ignorant

Immoral

Inferior

Insufficient, Never Enough

Irtitated

Joke (you feel treated as)

Joking (you feel like joking)

Lied to

Lust (sense of)

Lustful

Lying (tempted to, or sense of)

Masked

Meanjngless

Mockery (sense of, or you feel mocked)

Mocking (you want to)

Morose

Needy

Nightmarish

Nuisance (feeling you are)

Nuisance (feeling someone else is)

Numb

Oppressed

Overcome

Overwhelmed

Panic (sense of)

Panicked

Pain

Paralyzed

Performing to Please (you want to or feel forced to)

Perversion (sense of)

Perverted

Pornography (sense of)

Pretending (you feel others are wanting to trick you)

Prideful

Pushed for time

Pushed (to meet someone else's standards)

Pushed around

Queasy

Rape (sense of, feelings of it happening)

Reckless

Regretful

Resented

Resentful

Resentment (sense of)

Retarded

Roaring (emotional sense of, or physical sensation in ears)

Rude

Sad

Scared

Screaming (you want to)

Screaming (sense of, or you seem to hear it)

Shock (sense of)

Shocked

Sexual Abuse (as if it's happening, or a sense of)

Sick (emotionally or physically)

Silly (either goofy or feeling embarrassing)

Stretched beyond my limits

Stricken

Stinky

Strangled or Choking

Stuck

Stupid

Submissive, Subjected (out of duty or force)

Superior

Trapped

Ungodliness (sense of)

Ungodly

Unforgiving, Bitter

Ungenerous, Stingy (regarding money, your soul, actions, words and tone of voice, time, emotions, etc.)

Unhealthy

Unpooular

Unreal

Unreliable

Unsophisticated

Unsure

Untrustworthy

Useless, Futile

Wasteful

Waste (sense of)

Weeping (a sense of very hard or deep crying)

Weeping (you want to cry very hard or deeply)

Work or Jobs (thoughts of your to-do list dominate your mind)

Worried, Anxious

Wrenched out of shape (mentally, emotionally)

Yelling (sense of)

Yelling (you want to)

Hitting (any sense)

Anything else you think of

Core Emotions--Neutral Emotions

Active (physically, mentally, emotionally)

Busy

Captivated

Comfortable

Conspicuous (physically, mentally, or emotionally)

Crying (an urge to, or actually crying)

Daydreamy

Deja Vu (sense of)

Desiring (a thing, situation, or person)

Eccentric, Strange

Educated, Intellectual

Embarrassed

Embarrassing

Entertained

Ethical

Fanatical (about a thing or person)

Fanciful

Forgetful

Free, Accessible

Frugal (financially)

Full, Satiated (comfortably)

Goal-Oriented

Impressionable

Impressive

Infatuated (with a thing, idea, or person)

Insistent

Intellectual

Loud

Messy

Memory (a specific memory, or sense of)

Nice

Picturesque

Poor

Poverty-Stricken

Popular

Powerful

Pretending (you want to, in a child-like sense)

Raw

Religious

Rural

Secretive

Secrets (sense of)

Self-Sufficient, Independent

Sexual Desire, Sexuality

Sophisticated

Spiritual

Talkative

 

Trustworthy

Want (you feel want, or have a sense of)

Weird

Yielded

Yielded

Zealous

Core Emotions--Positive Emotions

Ambitious

Assertive

Beautiful

Beauty (sense of)

Bliss (sense of)

Blissful

Capable

Cheerful

Cherished

Comforted

Confident

Cooperative

Creative

Curious

Desirable

Forgiveness (toward you)

Forgiving

Freedom (sense of)

Friendly

Friendship (sense of)

Generous

Gentle

Gentleness (sense of)

Genuine

Glorious

Glowing

Godliness

Good

Happy

Healed (physically, emotionally, psychologically)

Healing Powers or Energies

Healthy

Helpful

Hope

Hopeful

Humble

Imagination (you want to use yours)

Imagination (sense of)

Joyful

Jubilant

Jubilation (sense of)

Just (feeling right judgments, feeling fair)

Kind

Learning (sense of)

Light

Loving

Loyal

Meek

Moral

Nourished

Peaceable (from a sense of love)

Peaceful

Pretty

Prayer (sense of)

Praying (you want to, or you do so)

Productive

Proud (of something or someone specific)

Pure (physically, mentally, emotionally)

Purity

Purpose

Purposeful (a strong feeling of intention, authority, or capability)

Quiet

Rare, Unique

Rejoicing (sense of)

Relaxed

Released (from a person, situation, thing, or feeling)

Reliable

Repentant

Repentance (sense of)

Sincere

Submissive (out of kindness and cooperation)

Sweet

Sweetness (sense of)

Thankful, Gratitude

Vivacious

Warm

Inner Child Work Can Free Your Emotions

Pain creates immature parts of us who need help growing up.

Pain creates immature parts of us who need help growing up.

Learning to reconnect with and process the emotions we felt as children can bring deep healing on many levels.

Learning to reconnect with and process the emotions we felt as children can bring deep healing on many levels.

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery From Paranoia and Adrenal Fatigue, by Michele Lee Nieves Coaching

Reactions to Your House

This next list is designed to help you assess your thought loops and thinking patterns that may be triggered by certain atmospheres or spaces within your house. Be as honest as you can with yourself. This list is to help you pinpoint patterns that need healing, so think about what your reactions are to certain spaces--not what you meant your responses to be.

Pervasive Depression

Depression can permeate every area of our lives, but can be overcome. It does not need to be allowed to win.

Depression can permeate every area of our lives, but can be overcome. It does not need to be allowed to win.

Thoughts While at Home (General Wellbeing)--Negative

Abandonment

Abuse (physical, sexual, emotional, psychological)

Accusations (from me, about me, or about someone else)

Anger

Anxiety-Causing Situations

Apathy

Arrogant People

Avarice, Greed

Busyness

Chaos

Coldness

Comfort (wanting)

Contentions or Arguments

Corruption

Craziness

Cruelty

Crying

Darkness

Deceit

Defeat

Demands made on me

Depression

Despair

Devastation

Discouragement

Disease

Doormat Behavior

Drugs

Drunkenness

Embarrassments, Humiliations

Faithlessness

Fears

Frivolous Things

Greed

Grief

Gross Things

Hatred

Heartbreak

Helplessness

Hiding

Hopelessness

Horror

Hurt Others

Hurting

Hypocrisy (your own or another's)

Impressing Others

Illness

Incompetence

Incomplete (abnormally)

Inferiority

Insufficiency

Irritations

Jail

Loud Things or People

Lust

Masks (emotional)

Messes

Messiness (of life)

Miscommunication

Mistakes

Mockery

Needs (unmet)

Nightmares

Noise

Overwhelmed

Pain

Performance (yours or someone else's)

Perversions

Popularity

Pornigeaphy

Pretending (you or someone else)

Pride

Prison

Prudish Thoughts

Recklessness

Regret

Retarded (behavior, people)

Rudeness

Sad Subjects

Scary Things

Sexual Abuse

Superiority

Stupidity

Submission (out of duty, accompanied by resentment)

Substance Abuse

Trapped (you feel trapped)

Ungodliness

Unfirgiveness, Bitterness

Useless, Futile (you)

Useless (other people)

Useless (things)

Wastefulness

Worry, Anxiety

Thoughts While at Home (General Wellbeing)--Positive

Adversity (overcoming)

Assertiveness (practicing)

Beauty

Blessings

Bargains (along with good sense)

Business

Cherishing Others

Comfort (having)

Comfortable

Competence

Conversations

Cooking, Baking

Daydreams

Desirable People

Desires (wanting a thing or person)

Eccentric People

Education

Ethics

Expensive Things

Faith

Faithfulness

Family

Fanaticism

Forgiveness (wanting or giving)

Freedom

Friendship

Frugality

Gentleness

Glory

Goals

Godliness

Goodness

Healing

Hobbies

Hope

Hoping

Humility

Imagination

Intellectual Subjects

Joy

Justice

Kindness

Learning

Light

Love

Loyalty

Meekness

Memories (specific)

Morality

Nourishing (self)

Nourishing (others)

Peace

Peacefulness

Praying or Prayer

Productivity

Purity

Purposefulness

Quietness

Rarity (of anything specific)

Reading (actually reading, or thinking over what you've read)

Rejoicing

Relaxation

Religion

Repentance

Rural Life or Habits

Schedules

Secrets

Self-Sufficiency, Independence

Sex

Shopping

Sincerity

Spirituality

Submission (out of kindness and cooperation)

Sweetness

Talking

Thankfulness

Triumph

Trust

TV/Movies, Other Entertainment

Warmth

Isolated and My Inner Thoughts Are Ruining My Life, by Michele Lee Nieves

How to Not Have Self Love, by Michele Lee Nieves Coaching

Finding Triggers

These next sections have to do with evaluating which activities or feelings seem to have priority in different spaces of your home or life. The two lists below can be used either room-to-room as you explore your feelings about your home, or to get an overall impression of the emotions you feel while in your house. Spaces can become conditioned to hold emotions and memories of their own, so these lists may reveal where some house cleansing is in order. The lists can also be useful for determining triggers (both positive and negative) that are related to your everyday environment. Smells, furniture, colors, memories, and housekeeping schedules can all act as triggers. Note any others you find, and keep a record of them for your own use.

For purposes of dividing positive and negative, we decided that if an emotion is not overtly destructive, it is positive.

Dissociation Can Be a Robber

Having gaps in your life and memory can be both a blessing and a curse. It is okay to grieve those times, and grieve too the pain that caused them.

Having gaps in your life and memory can be both a blessing and a curse. It is okay to grieve those times, and grieve too the pain that caused them.

Positive Patterns

This next version reveals positive patterns that reveal you are healing in your mind, body, and heart. Allow this list to encourage you, even if there are only one or two things that apply.

What Asserts Itself in This Space--Positive

Ambition

Assertive Behavior

Beauty

Blessedness

Business

Capability

Cheerful

Comfort

Communication

Conversations

Cooperation

Creativity

Curiosity

Desiring (a certain thing)

Difficulties (identifying, overcoming)

Education

Emotions

Entertainment

Faith

Faithfulness

Fancy, Imagination

Feelings

Food, Eating, Cooking

Forgiveness

Freedom

Friendship

Frustrations

Fullness (a comfortable feeling or sense)

Generosity

Gentleness

Gladness

Glory

Godliness

Greatness, Great Things (worthy of admiration)

Healing

Kindness

Happiness

Helpfulness

Hobbies

Hope

Hugs

Humility

Intellect (for good purposes)

Jobs or Work

Joy

Jubilation

Justice

Kindness

Laughter

Liberty

Learning

Light

Love

Loyalty

Meekness

Memories

Morality

Nourishment

Patience

Peace

Peacefulness

Picturesqueness

Praying, Prayer

Pretending (as a child does)

Prettiness, Pretty Things

Pride (feeling proud of others, for desirable traits or accomplishments)

Productivity (moving toward desirable goals in a deliberate way)

Purity

Purposeful Behavior

Quietness

Relaxation

Reading

Relaxation

Reliability

Religion

Rejoicing

Repentance

Schedules

Self-Sufficiency, Independence

Sex

Sexual Intimacy

Shopping (wisely)

Silence (for a helpful purpose, not out of irritability)

Sincerity

Spirituality

Submission (out of true respect and cooperation)

Sweet Spirit

Talking

Tastefulness

Thankfulness, Gratefulness

Triumph over problems

Trust

Trustworthiness

TV/Movies (carefully selected)

Zeal

Negative Patterns

This last list reveals negative patterns that require change in order for you to fully heal in your mind, body, and heart.

What Asserts Itself in This Space--Negative

Abandonment (abandoning others, or having been abandoned)

Abuse (physical, sexual, emotional, psychological)

Accusations

Adversity (worrying about)

Affected Manners (pretending, not being yourself)

Aggressive Behavior

Anger

Ambition (without real relationships)

Avarice

Bargains (cheapness or frivolity--things you won't use or like)

Boredom

Brainwashing

Business (of an unhealthy sort)

Busyness (to an overwhelming degree)

Caging (self or others)

Complaining

Communication (a lack of it or not enough of it)

Communication (too much of it)

Communication (no heart connection)

Confusion

Contention

Conversation (of a banal or destructive nature)

Corruption

Craziness

Creepy Behaviour

Cruelty

Crying (futile, embarrassing)

Darkness

Daydreaming (of an unhealthy or vicious nature)

Deceit

Defeat

Deformed Things

Depression

Devastation

Difficulties

Discouragement

Doormat Behavior

Drug Use/Abuse

Drunkenness

Emotions (suppressing them, or exposing them in a harmful way)

Expenses

Fanaticism (carried to harmful degree)

Fear

Forgetfulness (in a negative way)

Frivolity

Frugality (too much, paired with a poverty mind-set)

Fruitlessness, Futility

Frustration

Greed

Grief

Heartbreak

Hiding

Hopelessness

Horror

Hurrying (too fast)

Hurting

Hypocrisy

Illness

Immorality

Impressing Others

Imprisonment (of you or another--literally or emotionally)

Incompletion (a lack of carry-through)

Inferiority

Insufficiency (you are never enough, or you feel this way about someone else)

Irritation

Jobs or Work (that you dislike or that bore you)

Memories (painful or bad)

Messes

Mistakes

Mockery

Money (as a god)

Niceness (hypocritical)

Nightmares

Noise (overbearing)

Pain

Panic

Peace (when achieved in deceitful ways)

Performance, Expectations

Perversion (internal or external)

Prayers (unanswered)

Pretending (hypocrisy)

Pride, Arrogance

Popularity (undeserved, insincere, or grasping)

Pornograohy

Power

Pushing, or Being Pushed

Rape or Molestation

Recklessness

Regret (your own or another's)

Religion (confusion or authoritarianism)

Remembering (want to forget, or need to retrieve memories and can't)

Resentment (at self or another)

Rudeness

Sadness

Secrets (unwanted)

Sexual Abuse

Silence (painful)

Silliness (overbearing)

Stupidity

Submission (out of duty or force)

Talking (unwanted or unhealthy, forced)

Terror

Ungodliness

Unforgiveness

Waste

Worry

Wrath

Anything else you think of

Emotional Flashbacks if Stuck in Fight/Flight | Dissociation Part Two, by Michele Lee Nieves

What Are Your Emotions Telling You?

Learning to feel and identify emotions can be a complex, but rewarding challenge. Once you realize they are clues to your inner thoughts, you can begin to find balance and healing.

Learning to feel and identify emotions can be a complex, but rewarding challenge. Once you realize they are clues to your inner thoughts, you can begin to find balance and healing.

Self Assessment

How did the process work for you? In order to get an overall sense of your emotions, look back over the lists and note which kinds of things come up over and over again. These are your core emotions and thoughts.

Chances are they are not usually positive. For now, simply note them and keep this record of your results. You will put it to good use soon, when you begin using it to establish a list of fears to overcome using the visualizing techniques we've been practicing throughout this series.

10 Steps--Self Love Habits That Changed My Life After Narcissistic Abuse, by Michele Lee Nieves

What Music Do You Hear in Everything?

Emotions color our perceptions of life. With what sort of music do you hear or listen to the things and people around you?

Emotions color our perceptions of life. With what sort of music do you hear or listen to the things and people around you?

Topics Previously Covered in This Series

In Part 1, we explore why fear inhibits our ability to know what we really want, and act on it. Our thought loops often hold the key to realizing our deepest desires. Focusing on and owning these thought loops can allow us to move forward, first making the decision that fear will no longer own us.

In Part 2, we cover the basics of how to develop a vision board, whether in an electronic or physical format. We offer prompts and resources to help you decide what you truly want out of life.

In Part 3, we discuss the role of bio rhythms in setting intentions which yield pleasant fruit. When you pair your firm and detailed expectations with careful timing, cooperation from others and the Universe often results.

In Part 4, we pinpoint how to choose the perfect visuals and images for your needs, decode your personal color associations, and use past regrets and misunderstandings to help you go forward more wisely.

In part 5, we explore the decisions to be made while setting up an Intentions-by-the-Month system, using a Pinterest Board or other format of your choice. This system allows you to form a habit of setting intentions daily, or on whatever schedule you choose.

In Part 6, we walk through how to set up a long term life plan of 5 to 10 years, using either a vision board format, a mind map, or a combination of these two systems.

In Part 7, we acknowledge that manipulation and painful circumstances can make it difficult to know who you are and what you want, then present emotional and mental exercises to help you overcome the gaslighting or conditioning of others.

Our Conditions and Qualifications

In case you missed our intro before, we are an autistic DID System who have spent years exploring how trauma affects our ability to live our best life and act on our deepest needs. We have no official diagnosis, and no legal qualifications to offer advice or training on mental health conditions. Conversely, we have a decade of experience managing our Dissociative Identity Disorder, as well as about four years working to understand our autism.

Our Approach to Vision Boarding

Because fear is such a huge roadblock to stability and satisfaction, we have chosen to approach the topic of vision board development by exploring how it can be used to assist in healing and changing trauma patterns. We specifically use it to overcome fear and other trauma responses.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and does not substitute for diagnosis, prognosis, treatment, prescription, and/or dietary advice from a licensed health professional. Drugs, supplements, and natural remedies may have dangerous side effects. If pregnant or nursing, consult with a qualified provider on an individual basis. Seek immediate help if you are experiencing a medical emergency.

© 2020 Joilene Rasmussen

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