Joy sets goals for continuous achievement, and loves connecting with others by helping them reach their own ideals and aspirations.
What Do You Need Most?
Lists of Tricky Emotions
Below we present several checklists of emotions, designed to assist you in becoming aware of your emotional states. Many of us experience alexithymia, which is a lack of discernment concerning emotions, or an inability to recognize and describe emotions in oneself and others. These lists are designed to help you pin down what you are feeling. You will use them first when by yourself, or in "calm" circumstances, so you have less emotional clutter through which to wade. Later, after practice, you can use them to train yourself to know what you are feeling in other, "heavier" circumstances.
For More Information
Please see the end of this article for information on previous parts in this series, our qualifications, and an explanation of our approach to vision boarding.
Frustration Finding Answers
How to Use the Lists Effectively
The lists are divided into three main sections, each with its own aim. There will seem to be some overlap as you work your way through these sections, but each serves its own purpose, and should be treated carefully. Each will reveal new aspects of your thinking patterns to you.
The three sections are:
- Core emotions
- Reactions to your home
- Environment triggers
Using the Core Emotions List
In order to use the first list to its full extent, you should try it in a place you feel at least a little comfortable and safe. This could be the most comfortable room in your home, or some place in nature--any place that you associate with happiness, or at least neutrality. The mere act of thinking through the emotions listed below is likely to trigger unpleasant memories--and though it may trigger hopeful, happy memories as well, they are likely to be overwhelmed by the more negative sensations. So it is important to start off with as great a feeling of well-being as possible, in order to gauge your true state.
Wheel of Emotions
Facing the Truth
The purpose of this first list is to reveal how you feel most of the time--apart from directly negative or toxic people, or uncomfortable influences and situations. So allow yourself to relax in some quiet place, and tell yourself it's okay to feel what is true. You are allowed to see the truth about yourself and others. You are in the process of changing your life for the better, and facing the truth will help in the long run.
If you feel you are going to hurt someone by knowing or facing the truth, try asking yourself who you might be hurting by ignoring the truth. Pain is a reality, but it passes when you allow God to bring the necessary changes and healing, and stop trying to ignore the fact that you are not yet healed.
Emotions and Their Vibrations
How to Begin
Mark each emotion that you connect with strongly, or that you feel excited or "tight" over. There may be dozens, or there may be only a few. The point isn't how many, but how deeply you feel, and whether you are able to recognize these emotions. If you can acknowledge them, even just to give them a nod in passing, they will begin to reveal to you your heart's condition, and then you can begin to see what to do to get better. So go on first impressions--resist the urge to overanalyze each possibility. This is a learning experience for your use, not a test. No one else needs to see your results.
I am unable at this time to provide an easily printable version of the lists, with proper checkboxes. So while I get such a version developed, you can print the article or screenshot the lists. These tables can then be marked in any way you choose. We suggest using a highlighter to mark applicable selections, or use a photo processing app to "doodle" circles around the choices.
There is no such thing as a "bad" emotion. An emotion is simply an indicator.
Emotions as Indicators
After you have been through the first list once, you can consider using it to evaluate how you feel in other, more tense situations, or around other people. This will give you further insights into your heart's thoughts. Try not to be afraid of "negative" emotions. There is no such thing as a "bad" emotion. An emotion is simply an indicator. It is how you deal with emotions that counts. Afterall, even a "positive" emotion, such as elation, can be damaging in the wrong situation (say, at a funeral). So just take them as they come, and allow your hands to mark the ones that seem to apply. Don't be afraid to make a mistake, and don't worry about understanding each one right now. Just mark the boxes. Evaluation will come later. Marking the boxes is a positive step toward healing.
Abused (physically, sexually, emotionally, psychologically)
Anger (outside yourself)
Atrophied (emotionally, physically, mentally)
Avarice (sense of)
Captive, Caged, Jailed, Imprisoned
Chaos (sense of)
Cold (emotionally, physically, psychologically)
Complaining (urge to, sense of)
Contention, Wrangling (sense of)
Corruption (sense of)
Discouragement (sense of)
Drunkenness, Substance Abuse (sense of)
Expensive (you have cost someone a lot, or they treat you as if you have)
Fighting (sense of)
Fighting (temptation to)
Full, Distended (uncomfortably)
Greed (sense of)
Grief (sense of)
Grieving (you want to or do)
Helpless (physically, emotionally, psychologically)
Hiding (you want to)
Horror (sense of)
Hurrying (sense of)
Insufficient, Never Enough
Joke (you feel treated as)
Joking (you feel like joking)
Lust (sense of)
Lying (tempted to, or sense of)
Mockery (sense of, or you feel mocked)
Mocking (you want to)
Nuisance (feeling you are)
Nuisance (feeling someone else is)
Panic (sense of)
Performing to Please (you want to or feel forced to)
Perversion (sense of)
Pornography (sense of)
Pretending (you feel others are wanting to trick you)
Pushed for time
Pushed (to meet someone else's standards)
Rape (sense of, feelings of it happening)
Resentment (sense of)
Roaring (emotional sense of, or physical sensation in ears)
Screaming (you want to)
Screaming (sense of, or you seem to hear it)
Shock (sense of)
Sexual Abuse (as if it's happening, or a sense of)
Sick (emotionally or physically)
Silly (either goofy or feeling embarrassing)
Stretched beyond my limits
Strangled or Choking
Submissive, Subjected (out of duty or force)
Ungodliness (sense of)
Ungenerous, Stingy (regarding money, your soul, actions, words and tone of voice, time, emotions, etc.)
Waste (sense of)
Weeping (a sense of very hard or deep crying)
Weeping (you want to cry very hard or deeply)
Work or Jobs (thoughts of your to-do list dominate your mind)
Wrenched out of shape (mentally, emotionally)
Yelling (sense of)
Yelling (you want to)
Hitting (any sense)
Anything else you think of
Core Emotions--Neutral Emotions
Active (physically, mentally, emotionally)
Conspicuous (physically, mentally, or emotionally)
Crying (an urge to, or actually crying)
Deja Vu (sense of)
Desiring (a thing, situation, or person)
Fanatical (about a thing or person)
Full, Satiated (comfortably)
Infatuated (with a thing, idea, or person)
Memory (a specific memory, or sense of)
Pretending (you want to, in a child-like sense)
Secrets (sense of)
Sexual Desire, Sexuality
Want (you feel want, or have a sense of)
Core Emotions--Positive Emotions
Beauty (sense of)
Bliss (sense of)
Forgiveness (toward you)
Freedom (sense of)
Friendship (sense of)
Gentleness (sense of)
Healed (physically, emotionally, psychologically)
Healing Powers or Energies
Imagination (you want to use yours)
Imagination (sense of)
Jubilation (sense of)
Just (feeling right judgments, feeling fair)
Learning (sense of)
Peaceable (from a sense of love)
Prayer (sense of)
Praying (you want to, or you do so)
Proud (of something or someone specific)
Pure (physically, mentally, emotionally)
Purposeful (a strong feeling of intention, authority, or capability)
Rejoicing (sense of)
Released (from a person, situation, thing, or feeling)
Repentance (sense of)
Submissive (out of kindness and cooperation)
Sweetness (sense of)
Inner Child Work Can Free Your Emotions
Narcissistic Abuse Recovery From Paranoia and Adrenal Fatigue, by Michele Lee Nieves Coaching
Reactions to Your House
This next list is designed to help you assess your thought loops and thinking patterns that may be triggered by certain atmospheres or spaces within your house. Be as honest as you can with yourself. This list is to help you pinpoint patterns that need healing, so think about what your reactions are to certain spaces--not what you meant your responses to be.
Thoughts While at Home (General Wellbeing)--Negative
Abuse (physical, sexual, emotional, psychological)
Accusations (from me, about me, or about someone else)
Contentions or Arguments
Demands made on me
Hypocrisy (your own or another's)
Loud Things or People
Messiness (of life)
Performance (yours or someone else's)
Pretending (you or someone else)
Retarded (behavior, people)
Submission (out of duty, accompanied by resentment)
Trapped (you feel trapped)
Useless, Futile (you)
Useless (other people)
Thoughts While at Home (General Wellbeing)--Positive
Bargains (along with good sense)
Desires (wanting a thing or person)
Forgiveness (wanting or giving)
Praying or Prayer
Rarity (of anything specific)
Reading (actually reading, or thinking over what you've read)
Rural Life or Habits
Submission (out of kindness and cooperation)
TV/Movies, Other Entertainment
Isolated and My Inner Thoughts Are Ruining My Life, by Michele Lee Nieves
How to Not Have Self Love, by Michele Lee Nieves Coaching
These next sections have to do with evaluating which activities or feelings seem to have priority in different spaces of your home or life. The two lists below can be used either room-to-room as you explore your feelings about your home, or to get an overall impression of the emotions you feel while in your house. Spaces can become conditioned to hold emotions and memories of their own, so these lists may reveal where some house cleansing is in order. The lists can also be useful for determining triggers (both positive and negative) that are related to your everyday environment. Smells, furniture, colors, memories, and housekeeping schedules can all act as triggers. Note any others you find, and keep a record of them for your own use.
For purposes of dividing positive and negative, we decided that if an emotion is not overtly destructive, it is positive.
Dissociation Can Be a Robber
This next version reveals positive patterns that reveal you are healing in your mind, body, and heart. Allow this list to encourage you, even if there are only one or two things that apply.
What Asserts Itself in This Space--Positive
Desiring (a certain thing)
Difficulties (identifying, overcoming)
Food, Eating, Cooking
Fullness (a comfortable feeling or sense)
Greatness, Great Things (worthy of admiration)
Intellect (for good purposes)
Jobs or Work
Pretending (as a child does)
Prettiness, Pretty Things
Pride (feeling proud of others, for desirable traits or accomplishments)
Productivity (moving toward desirable goals in a deliberate way)
Silence (for a helpful purpose, not out of irritability)
Submission (out of true respect and cooperation)
Triumph over problems
TV/Movies (carefully selected)
This last list reveals negative patterns that require change in order for you to fully heal in your mind, body, and heart.
What Asserts Itself in This Space--Negative
Abandonment (abandoning others, or having been abandoned)
Abuse (physical, sexual, emotional, psychological)
Adversity (worrying about)
Affected Manners (pretending, not being yourself)
Ambition (without real relationships)
Bargains (cheapness or frivolity--things you won't use or like)
Business (of an unhealthy sort)
Busyness (to an overwhelming degree)
Caging (self or others)
Communication (a lack of it or not enough of it)
Communication (too much of it)
Communication (no heart connection)
Conversation (of a banal or destructive nature)
Crying (futile, embarrassing)
Daydreaming (of an unhealthy or vicious nature)
Emotions (suppressing them, or exposing them in a harmful way)
Fanaticism (carried to harmful degree)
Forgetfulness (in a negative way)
Frugality (too much, paired with a poverty mind-set)
Hurrying (too fast)
Imprisonment (of you or another--literally or emotionally)
Incompletion (a lack of carry-through)
Insufficiency (you are never enough, or you feel this way about someone else)
Jobs or Work (that you dislike or that bore you)
Memories (painful or bad)
Money (as a god)
Peace (when achieved in deceitful ways)
Perversion (internal or external)
Popularity (undeserved, insincere, or grasping)
Pushing, or Being Pushed
Rape or Molestation
Regret (your own or another's)
Religion (confusion or authoritarianism)
Remembering (want to forget, or need to retrieve memories and can't)
Resentment (at self or another)
Submission (out of duty or force)
Talking (unwanted or unhealthy, forced)
Anything else you think of
Emotional Flashbacks if Stuck in Fight/Flight | Dissociation Part Two, by Michele Lee Nieves
What Are Your Emotions Telling You?
How did the process work for you? In order to get an overall sense of your emotions, look back over the lists and note which kinds of things come up over and over again. These are your core emotions and thoughts.
Chances are they are not usually positive. For now, simply note them and keep this record of your results. You will put it to good use soon, when you begin using it to establish a list of fears to overcome using the visualizing techniques we've been practicing throughout this series.
10 Steps--Self Love Habits That Changed My Life After Narcissistic Abuse, by Michele Lee Nieves
What Music Do You Hear in Everything?
Topics Previously Covered in This Series
In Part 1, we explore why fear inhibits our ability to know what we really want, and act on it. Our thought loops often hold the key to realizing our deepest desires. Focusing on and owning these thought loops can allow us to move forward, first making the decision that fear will no longer own us.
In Part 2, we cover the basics of how to develop a vision board, whether in an electronic or physical format. We offer prompts and resources to help you decide what you truly want out of life.
In Part 3, we discuss the role of bio rhythms in setting intentions which yield pleasant fruit. When you pair your firm and detailed expectations with careful timing, cooperation from others and the Universe often results.
In Part 4, we pinpoint how to choose the perfect visuals and images for your needs, decode your personal color associations, and use past regrets and misunderstandings to help you go forward more wisely.
In part 5, we explore the decisions to be made while setting up an Intentions-by-the-Month system, using a Pinterest Board or other format of your choice. This system allows you to form a habit of setting intentions daily, or on whatever schedule you choose.
In Part 6, we walk through how to set up a long term life plan of 5 to 10 years, using either a vision board format, a mind map, or a combination of these two systems.
In Part 7, we acknowledge that manipulation and painful circumstances can make it difficult to know who you are and what you want, then present emotional and mental exercises to help you overcome the gaslighting or conditioning of others.
Our Conditions and Qualifications
In case you missed our intro before, we are an autistic DID System who have spent years exploring how trauma affects our ability to live our best life and act on our deepest needs. We have no official diagnosis, and no legal qualifications to offer advice or training on mental health conditions. Conversely, we have a decade of experience managing our Dissociative Identity Disorder, as well as about four years working to understand our autism.
Our Approach to Vision Boarding
Because fear is such a huge roadblock to stability and satisfaction, we have chosen to approach the topic of vision board development by exploring how it can be used to assist in healing and changing trauma patterns. We specifically use it to overcome fear and other trauma responses.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and does not substitute for diagnosis, prognosis, treatment, prescription, and/or dietary advice from a licensed health professional. Drugs, supplements, and natural remedies may have dangerous side effects. If pregnant or nursing, consult with a qualified provider on an individual basis. Seek immediate help if you are experiencing a medical emergency.
© 2020 Joilene Rasmussen