How to Create Personal Affirmations

Picking Sparks of Light

Hard Choices

It can be difficult, while wading through the garbage of regrets and gaslighting, to decide what you truly want. Especially if you have been manipulated or your choices were belittled or stomped on, learning to know what you like and how to choose for yourself can be daunting.

One approach is to state what you don't want. For example:

Exercise: What I Don't Want

• I don't want a fear-driven lifestyle.
• I don't want unnecessary pain--only that which is needed for growth and strength.
• I don't want turmoil or confusion.
• I don't want bad or degrading relationships.
• I don't want . . . (You fill in the blank.)

Exercise: What I do Want

Now, turn the statements into positives. It's okay if they're not ideal. Just start where you're at, this moment.

• I want a lifestyle characterized by hope, courage, love, and faith.
• I want to grow strong mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
• I want peace in my mind and heart. I want only truth in my life, body, and heart.
• I want pure, beautiful relationships characterized by respect and affection.
• I want . . . (Now you try one.)

For More Information

Please see the end of this article for information on previous parts in this series, our qualifications, and an explanation of our approach to vision boarding.

Free Writing

If you are stuck for ideas or words, try digging out some of your best pictures collected to this point--those images which appeal to you consistently and really grab your heart, making you feel intensely emotional whenever you look at them.

Study these images. Daydream. Let your mind wander in circles, or wander away and wander back again. Write down what you think and feel when you allow yourself to feel the image. Don't think about it intellectually. Try what it feels like to live the scene in your heart.

Eventually, words and phrases which accurately express what you want will come clear. Use these thoughts to build affirmations which can talk to your mind, body and heart, to change what you feel and think. This is a process of redefining what is possible.

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Refining Your Affirmations

Below are tips for refining your affirmations, once you know in a general way what you want. As you work with affirmations over a long time period, you will find your own ways to refine them which will make them more suited to your needs and thought processes. Don't hesitate to apply an idea for wording or format which seems intuitively correct. What you need is what works for you--not what works for someone else. You will know what is working as, day by day, you experience emotion shifts, energetic body releases of trapped emotions and thoughts, and changes in your thought cycles.

Hard-working affirmations usually meet certain requirements. They are:

• Specific
• Positive
• Personal
• Timeless
• Evergreen

Specific

Affirmations which are too general in their aim are confusing to your body systems and energy fields. They tend to get set aside or discarded, as they lack instructions on where to start improvements.

For example, suppose your energy is too low to meet life's demands. You feel as if you can never keep up. But rather than focusing on how inadequate you feel, imagine a world in which you have abundant energy--actually more than you need for your daily tasks. We're going to build an affirmation around this concept. We're going to choose specific words which reflect our magical scenario. What comes to mind first? Some images I have are:

• Smiling to meet the day
• Bouncing from task to task
• No pain in my body
• Clear sunshine and enjoying the outdoors
• Games and training sessions with my pets
• Enjoying cooking and baking
• Feeling social, glad to see people
• Being able to choose tasks for the day, and knowing I am truly productive

Positive in Format and Wording

Affirmations must be stated from a fully positive viewpoint. So we will phrase ours, "I am always naturally healthy and have overflowing, peaceful energy all day. I love being active" . . . not, "My energy is enough and I never feel sick."

What's wrong with the second example? It is neither specific nor positive in its wording. How much is "enough" energy?--1) to run a marathon? 2) to stand upright? 3) to not die? Also, the phrase "I never feel sick", though it seems positive, ends with a negative connotation. When you repeat this affirmation, your brain is likely to latch onto the word "sick", because that is the last thing you focus on as you speak. Focusing on "peaceful energy all day" and "active" will be much more helpful.

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Personal

Affirmations need to be personal to you. Those written for other people may use words or concepts which your own body systems cannot recognize.

Developing an understanding of the definitions your subconscious and body associate with particular words is important. We will discuss this more below.

Timeless

Your deeper energy systems and your heart don't recognize time. Therefore affirmations must be stated in a timeless way, or in a way which embraces all times, past and present. Our affirmation, "I am always naturally healthy and have overflowing, peaceful energy all day. I love being active," uses words that are timeless. "Always" and "all day" have no reference point in a timeline. "All day" can mean every day, forever. If you wish to ensure that there are no loopholes, you could say, "all day, every day."

Evergreen

Ideally, affirmations should not "run out". Their subjects should be applicable to your life and state of being today, tomorrow, and forever. Exceptions to this rule might include ones intended to increase your health from a poor state to an excellent state, or ones dealing with fears or other problems you have faith to overcome. Even these must be stated in such a way that they encompass the possibility of you having been healthy in the past, as well as the future. For example, "I am always naturally healthy" is evergreen. "I am" is me at any point, in any state. To think of this another way, try saying, "I exist healthy." End of story. There is no was, or becoming, or may be. There is now. And every time to your heart is Now.

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Body Talk

Ask your body and energy field to tell you clearly in your consciousness when something is working or not working. This knowing may take time and practice to develop. This response may come as a clearly defined thought in your head, or perhaps as a feeling of futility, apathy, or heaviness when you recite an affirmation. There is a big difference between reciting words and speaking into our souls.

The first is a dead activity leading to feelings of frustration and helplessness. The second is a living, dynamic interaction with our souls, which fills us with empowering thoughts, and leads us to gradual changes that add up to a new lifestyle. A bad day cannot erase these thoughts. They don't vanish like mist under the burdens of everyday troubles. A living, dynamic affirmation that resonates with us helps us fight against apathy, boredom, depression, feelings of doom, and other negative emotions, to help us reconstruct our lives using sound thinking and a confidence that we were created for good works.

Affirmations help us understand that pain is temporary. When properly constructed and used, they can help us crush patterns of defeat.

Original Format

If you are having trouble thinking what healthy looks and feels like, consider asking the Creator to take you back past what you know in your conscious memory, and slide past the illusion of time to pre-conception and -birth. This is what I refer to as "original format". Our bodies know about original format, and are capable of accessing the codes, as it were, to this pre-illness existence.

Even if you don't feel clear on what happens pre-conception, understand that you can ask your body to access and use the information about this "time" to build a concept of wellness. You can make this request literally and verbally, like this:

"To all my bodies and energy fields, I know that you remember what it was like to feel truly well under our original format. Please find ways to access and return to that format, so we achieve wellness, with truth in our inmost parts. Thank you for not stopping until every part of us is operating with clarity and absolute wellness, as we were intended to be."

This process is much like wiping a hard drive, though it may not be as straightforward. There may be incremental processes for you to go through, so that your conscious mind can understand what wellness truly is, and do it's part to increase and maintain it.

Some aspects of your body may resist these changes, and need further instructions and reassurances that these changes are welcome, and possible--that, in fact, every cell and energy wave can execute these commands to function in wellness.

We will further discuss Body Instructions in an upcoming part of this series.

Dead Affirmations

Sometimes we develop an affirmation which seems workable or right, but which fails to penetrate our souls. Modify or scrap these. It's perfectly acceptable to start over, or to fix what isn't working.

Remember that affirmations are for your benefit--you are not there to benefit the affirmation, like taking a dog for a walk.

We cover dead affirmations in more detail in the next part of this series.

Each Day We Make a Decision

Daily Use

Using affirmations effectively will require daily, conscious effort on your part. In order to reprogram our minds, these suggestions must be repeated daily, ideally several times a day. Some people who are very experienced developing and using affirmations recommend repeating each of your current affirmations for five minutes per day, mindfully.

Mindful repetition means that you must engage your focus and emotions with an attitude of prayer and gratitude for the changes already in effect, and for all things available from the Creator, including His presence.

In order to train yourself in the habit of using affirmations, you will probably find it necessary to post each one on a 3X5 card or sticky note, where you will see it every morning and evening.

Some likely places to post affirmations include:

• On the dash of your car
• On your bathroom mirror
• As a wallpaper image on your phone or computer
• On the edge of your computer monitor
• Above your desk
• Above your kitchen sink
• On the refrigerator
• Next to the toilet
• On your closet door
• On the wall next to your bed
• On your headboard
• Inside your purse, bag, or briefcase
• On your exercise equipment
• In your bullet journal
• On a card used as a book marker
• On a small white board

Practice devoting time each day to actually embracing your affirmations, not just looking at them.

In order to make this devotion possible, I wrote each of mine on a lined dry erase page--the kind intended for penmanship practice. I could place these on a windowsill at home wherever I happened to be, and focus while my hands were busy with simple tasks.

Incremental Believability

What if you just cannot believe in the truth of an affirmation which is very different from your present state of being? For example, let's return to our health affirmation developed above.

"I am always naturally healthy and have overflowing, peaceful energy all day. I love being active."

This may be hard to swallow or even to say with a straight face, if your state of health is poor, or you have never before used affirmations.

Another high-flown affirmation for many of us is, "I am a money magnet. Money always finds me, and achieving and maintaining abundance is effortless for me."

We will present two ways of dealing with small or frightened thinking, which many of us refer to as "being a realist".

Idealism

Affirmations state ideals about life. They can be powerful tools to recondition your thinking to see possibilities and resources instead of lacks--but only if you want them to. If you refuse to embrace idealism, and instead cling to your poverty mindset, no one can stop you, and an affirmation cannot change your circumstances or beliefs. Only you can do that by embracing opportunities and changes, however small.

Affirmations are not magic--they are merely tools. If your mind is like an engine, affirmations can act as wrenches and extension sockets to get into places you've never consciously accessed before, so you can replace broken parts and reset your timing. If you are really in trouble, you may need more than affirmations to lift out your engine and rebuild it--but without some way to work on your mind once you've got it out on a hoist or stand, you are in for frustration.

At this point the question isn't whether affirmations make sense to your circumstances, or whether you think you can ever do what you're saying. The question is, How badly do you want to feel differently, or change the details of your life?

If you want change to be possible, make up your mind to embrace idealism. We think you'll find that this seemingly daunting ocean of possibilities is really very swimmable once you start.

The key is to visualize, not your lacks, but the desired outcomes. That's what will actually reformat your thinking. Imagining how your new life looks, tastes, smells, and feels, will help you take the necessary baby steps to getting there. After a while, you'll notice change is blossoming.

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Increments

The second method of challenging your perceptions is to divide and conquer. If you can't believe in overflowing, abundant wellness (or riches, or relationships), try dividing a too-challenging affirmation into baby-steps.

Let's look at how our health affirmation can be changed to make it more doable.

We have:

"I am always naturally healthy and have overflowing, peaceful energy all day. I love being active."

But what if you:

• Don't know what wellness or peace feels like?
• Are moody or extra sensitive?
• Are frightened of the very thought of "all day"?
• Have trouble getting out of bed?
• Hate leaving your house?
• Hate being active?
• Want to be active, but don't see how you can be?
• Have major injuries that stop you in your tracks?
• Have depression or other imbalances that make it impossible to focus on affirmations, or much of anything?
• Get distracted by something shiny?
• Have a toxic person in your life who constantly tears you down?
• Have tried affirmations, and they left you more disappointed than ever?

What Now?

Baby steps. And more baby steps.

If you want wellness (or anything) enough, you will figure out how to break down an "impossible" affirmation into a "possible" version.

Let's do this.

Instead of, "I am always naturally healthy," try:

• "I learn how wellness looks and feels every day."
• "I embrace wellness in all my bodies, beings, and energy fields." (See note below for an explanation of this wording.)
• "I remember what it feels like to be healthy and in love with life, even if these memories exist pre-conception. My bodies know them, and tell my mind every beautiful detail."
• "My bodies feel strength entering into all their parts and aspects each day, all day."
• "My bodies are strong and healthy every day, in all their parts and aspects."

Next phrase:

"I have overflowing, peaceful energy all day."

First thing, you must decide what you mean by peace, and choose the word that best conveys this. Do you mean it as the opposite of strife? Do you mean serenity? Quietness? Hope? In the sentences below, substitute whatever word makes the most sense to you.

• I daily experience peaceful energy. (The structure of this affirmation suggests it is a sometimes feeling which comes and goes. But if you feel there is only strife in you or your life, this phrasing provides a starting point.)
• I learn more peace every day in my mind and bodies. (Not "I learn about peace", as such wording implies this knowledge touches only the intellect. We need words that reach the heart.)
• I choose to respond in peace.
• Peaceful thoughts always naturally fill my mind and bodies.
• Positive emotions fill my bodies and beings.
• Peace is the key signature of my life.
• I feel happy and peaceful. (This wording may result in hit or miss efforts on the part of your body to overcome unproductive habits.)
• I choose to experience peace in my mind and body. (The wording is unreliable.)
• My energy attracts peaceful people into my life.
• My energy attracts only peaceful people into my life.
• I experience so much peace that it overflows, blessing others every day.
• My body experiences more and more peace every day.
• I always naturally experience peace.
• I choose to welcome feelings of serenity as a housemate into my life.

Final phrase:

"I love being active."

Whoa. Some of us just want time to slow down and chill. Or read. Or sleep. Alone. Yet, being reasonably active is necessary for our ultimate wellbeing. Rest is necessary and good, but if you never seem to reach a state in which exhaustion no longer rules you, here are some ways to embrace the possibility that your body can (and wants to) attain and enjoy wellness, strength, and joy. Exhaustion is no longer allowed to write every chapter. You can--and should--feel pleasure in physical activity.

• The activity in each of my cells is always conducive to healing and wellness.
• All resources are available to me for healing and wellness. I choose to accept them and their spontaneous activity in my life and bodies.
• My bodies and beings choose to heal and maintain wellness.
• I am allowed to feel pleasure in movement/life/my bodies.
• Light fills my bodies and overflows, blessing others.
• Every cell in my bodies is constantly overflowing with light.
• Every cell in my bodies chooses to be filled with light and healing. I choose to accept healing.
• Movement brings me joy and healing, which I choose to accept with a grateful heart in all my bodies and beings.
• I choose to love.
• l enjoy my physical body.
• I choose to love my bodies.
• I choose to express love and healing to my bodies by__________. (Name an act of self care.)
• My bodies, I choose to love you, even when we misunderstand each other or don't get along. I choose to accept you and love you in pain and struggles, as well as wellness.
• I enjoy and find healing in _________. (Name an activity you have enjoyed or found relief in before.)
• My cells, you have permission and encouragement to find and use energetically whatever you need in order to heal and maintain wellness. Thank you for not stopping until total wellness is achieved and is our usual, everyay pattern.

Words to Avoid

The Word "Can"

"I can" means that you are able to do something, or that you have permission . . . but that you may choose not to act. For this reason, we avoid using this word in our affirmations. The reality is, you either do something, or you don't. If you truly want something, there can be no maybes or tries--you only do it. Timeframe does not matter. Doing is doing.

"Don't".

"I don't have a lack of money" is negative. The word "lack" causes anxiety, and the statement tells nothing about what it feels like to have enough and more. Try, "I have an abundance of money," or, "I have enough money to meet all my needs and to bless others."

"Can't".

Saying "I can't get sick" is negative. It doesn't show your body what it feels like to be not-sick, or better yet, well--it sends it into a state of anxiety by focusing on limits. No limits exist except the ones we set for ourselves. Affirmations are about removing limits.

About the Phrasing, "My Bodies and Beings"

Your physical body is only one aspect of your existence. In a normal, healthy person, there are up to fifteen energetic and different bodies and beings, each with their own purposes, which together make up you. These include our emotional and pain bodies, our soulish aspects, and our links to the Creator and each other.

Some of us have even more energy bodies, depending on the state of our souls in relation to trauma, and our level of compassion and connectedness.

For these reasons, we find it best to state bodies and beings in the plural when developing affirmations.

Multiple Energy Bodies

Never Settle

Last but not least, never settle. Don't accept less from your imagination than you need and truly want. Small thinking yields small results. Big thinking invites you to grow into big results.

Substitutes

Example: Suppose you've made up your mind to upgrade your car. You have your ideal make and model chosen, and you have designed an affirmation that is helping you move closer to owning it. You've researched your dream car, added it to your vision board, and have test driven it. But a more affordable car becomes readily available, and your current clunker is falling apart. What should you do? Depending on how close you are to realizing your ideal, you may choose to push a little longer, and hope your clunker lasts a few more weeks. Or, you may choose to upgrade twice--once now, and once later.

But don't settle. If you actually want your ideal, don't start telling yourself that the "available" car is good enough--that it actually fits the qualifications you set. This would be giving up. Don't give up. Don't settle. Don't cheat your dreams. Express heartfelt gratitude for the stepping-stone car, and enjoy it--but keep looking forward to your ideal. Keep your focus on ideals, not on circumstances.

Destinations Do Matter

Journeys may be important to your growth and character, but destinations are important, too.

Example: Suppose you've made up your mind to spend time in an amazing destination. A resort. A national park. A special city. Whatever stirs your soul and makes you smile spontaneously. Take a moment and imagine such a destination. What are the details? The sights? The smells? The tastes?

If, on your way to this destination, you experience setbacks or hardships, do you decide not to go? Suppose you miss your flight. Would this be cause enough to give up on the fuller plan? Would sitting in the airport substitute for the time spent at your ideal destination?

Obviously not. So don't allow yourself to spend your life sitting in airports after a missed flight. Get up and make alternate arrangements. Keep going.

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Topics Previously Covered in This Series

In Part 1, we explore why fear inhibits our ability to know what we really want, and act on it. Our thought loops often hold the key to realizing our deepest desires. Focusing on and owning these thought loops can allow us to move forward, first making the decision that fear will no longer own us.

In Part 2, we cover the basics of how to develop a vision board, whether in an electronic or physical format. We offer prompts and resources to help you decide what you truly want out of life.

In Part 3, we discuss the role of bio rhythms in setting intentions which yield pleasant fruit. When you pair your firm and detailed expectations with careful timing, cooperation from others and the Universe often results.

In Part 4, we pinpoint how to choose the perfect visuals and images for your needs, decode your personal color associations, and use past regrets and misunderstandings to help you go forward more wisely.

In part 5, we explore the decisions to be made while setting up an Intentions-by-the-Month system, using a Pinterest Board or other format of your choice. This system allows you to form a habit of setting intentions daily, or on whatever schedule you choose.

In Part 6, we walk through how to set up a long term life plan of 5 to 10 years, using either a vision board format, a mind map, or a combination of these two systems.

In Part 7, we acknowledge that manipulation and painful circumstances can make it difficult to know who you are and what you want, then present emotional and mental exercises to help you overcome the gaslighting or conditioning of others.

In Part 8, we show how becoming aware of your emotions is crucial to moving forward in your heart and life, and offer simple exercises to help you discern what you are feeling.

Our Conditions and Qualifications

In case you missed our intro before, we are an autistic DID System who have spent years exploring how trauma affects our ability to live our best life and act on our deepest needs. We have no official diagnosis, and no legal qualifications to offer advice or training on mental health conditions. Conversely, we have a decade of experience managing our Dissociative Identity Disorder, as well as about four years working to understand our autism.

Our Approach to Vision Boarding

Because fear is such a huge roadblock to stability and satisfaction, we have chosen to approach the topic of vision board development by exploring how it can be used to assist in healing and changing trauma patterns. We specifically use it to overcome fear and other trauma responses.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and does not substitute for diagnosis, prognosis, treatment, prescription, and/or dietary advice from a licensed health professional. Drugs, supplements, and natural remedies may have dangerous side effects. If pregnant or nursing, consult with a qualified provider on an individual basis. Seek immediate help if you are experiencing a medical emergency.

© 2020 Joilene Rasmussen