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On the Heights of Despair

Author Wynter seeks to find accommodating answers to psychosocial stressors by doing extensive research and interviewing therapists.

“My life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes.” – L.M. Montgomery –

on-the-heights-of-despair

The Act of Despair.

Hopelessness is the most debilitating word out there. It carries a lot of pain that comes with it. You can see it in the eyes of its victims even when the rain is far gone. I hope for your sake you have never been through it, but I am sorry to say that at some point in your life things might be different, bad things happen, and it is, unfortunately, the naked truth. It is a subject that is hard for me to write about as much as it is hard for you to read about, it is very depressing, and I wish I never had to write about it, but one must discuss the realities which people get subjected to, it is an ugly layer of depression that is just too painful to be described, my intention on writing this is not to provide you with a solution or ways to deals with it, but I am hoping that I could help you turn your experience into meaning, and the answers come from within you; the way you perceive life is very different than the way I do, and I firmly believe that it won't be easy to comfort you, but at least when I do get to sleep I would know that I have tried to calm you down, even if it is for a while.

Loss.

Loss is the most gruesome reality to exist; the grief and the horror that ensue from it lead to a pure torment of constant pain, we are not as resilient as we think we are, we keep suppressing its acknowledgment, and we bottle it up in hopes that we do not experience it, but no one is immune to it, so as long as we seek relationships and so as long as we care about the people that live around us, because the right people they make us feel safe and they give us the hope to go forward with our lives, we share the memories which we live upon with them, and no matter what bad experiences we go through they help us cling to our purpose in life, we keep longing for those good moments that we have had, and we long more after loss, the visceral despair that comes from loss can be transformative and changing, you might become more emotional or alas, more indifferent to anything, and then nothing would matter to you anymore, your body, your mind, and your soul gradually dissolve into a person that you never wanted to be.

And Sorrow Persists.

Sorrow is a fundamental part of loss; it is our natural response to the pain of grief, but death is not the only type of loss, there are various reasons for it, and sadness in its capacity can be immense; it draws us back to our vulnerability and exposes us to the frailty of our nature, the environment surrounding us it harmonizes with our pain connecting us to a different realm of absurdness and nonsensicality, the concept of eternity lingers within our head until it collides with the truth causing devastation and utter desolation, and so, you must be aware of this reality and the great length it usually takes for acceptance.

Credence.

To accept that life has a lot of bad things to offer is not enough, one must grasp the realization that life can be transience, and this sort of acknowledgment is not easily acquired, but either way, you will experience distress, whether you reach acceptance or not, and it is the harshest reality of all time, some philosophers believed we could overcome the sense of grief by removing our mistaken longing for immortality, it doesn't make any sense to me, because loss is loss, no matter what, it conveys a message that is too hard to understand or bear.

You are not Alone.

You are never alone, even if you think you are, there is someone somewhere who really does care about you, someone who shares the same dreadful sorrow thinking about how you feel, and you are never alone as long as you carry those memories that you shared along with other people because the tragedy is much mitigated when we keep the good things inside us alive while we are living, you see nature it is enriching and supporting, it will keep you feeling alive as long as you appreciate its beauty, and remembering the simple moments that you have had together, so do not let those memories fade.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel.

I apologize for this uneasy and depressing article. Maybe you have read this because you have had an experience that you needed to make sense of, I wanted to write about it positively, but I discovered upon writing that there is simply no way of doing it. Alas, I have not found any words that could describe the experience of loss, sorrow, and grief optimistically, as it will ache inside your very being, but having the faith that things will be better someday and remember the good memories, they will keep you going no matter what, nature finds its way to heal you, it only takes time for the moments of hopelessness to disappear, leaving you with nothing but a changed you, someone, who has the capacity to go forward without looking back, someone who accepts our biological lifecycle, and appreciates the wonders of life. Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.

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This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2022 Wynter Northfield

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