Author Wynter simply seeks to illustrate his experience with OCD in a way that explains its difficulty.
OCD Is Like Smoking, Its an Urge
OCD Starts Early.
Unlike other disorders, OCD tends to show up early in life, especially in childhood, it changes your perspective daily, and the way you deal with stuff, you start to contemplate everything in an exhausting manner. To me, it started early on that I can’t even remember when, but my first memory of it was in primary school when I used to read every sentence in repetition to fulfill an urge that I could not even understand, which to me seemed at first like a benign commotion that I sought perfection in some kind of way, however as time goes by it went on to be debilitating and draining, this disorder is cruel and torturous, the rituals you have to go through due to the compulsions will worsen every day, and the more it progresses, the more it creates boundaries and rules.
An OCD Experience Simplified.
OCD is all about references and creating guides that will pass you through a situation, for example, you wake up and wear your slippers in a particular orientation because you would believe that this direction gives you the best luck, and you find that one of the pair is slightly situated more forward than the other, so you move it back to be precisely positioned the way you want it to be, you stand up ,but you have to sit down and stand up again twice because you believe in odd numbers, you leave the room on a particular floor pattern, but oops you stepped one foot wrongly, and so you are going to have to walk back again and try for a second time, you need to turn the light off, but there is a sequence to which you should stick to, or else you would believe that something ominous would happen, you leave the room and go to the bathroom, but at the corridor you must knock on the wall for a certain rhythm while you are walking to attain something that you don’t know what it is, but it would feel irritating for you if you don’t do so, you wash your hand in a determined sequence countless of times, and if you do it wrong you will repeat again, you leave your house after doing what you do best, wasting time, but you remember that maybe I haven’t closed the door so you go check on it again, but suddenly you get the urge to wash your hands again because you held the door knob, so you go back inside the house wash your hand in a similar pattern and open the door with a napkin next time. These are just a few examples of how uncontrollable and tiring OCD is, but to understand how it occurs we need to delve into the brain of an OCD patient.
People with this chronic disorder get recurring and unwanted thoughts, supported by a compulsive behaviour that they most likely believe is necessary to them, and exceptional in some form of way; these compulsions are also based on certain triggers and beliefs, in order to understand how severe this disorder can be, let me tell you about a case that i happen to know of, a man who resorted to breathing in a specific pattern or else he would feel like something horrible would occur to them. These realities are hardly understood by anyone except for the person who suffers from this disorder; they are complicated and require thorough understanding and diagnosis. It is a debilitating disorder that can make your life terrible, and in case it is severe, it can affect your studies, work, and normal everyday activities.
Another aspect that makes OCD patients find it hard to deal with is the formation of fake memories, it is not talked about much, however, it is genuine, for example doing an action you know that you did and then move on, but in case of OCD compulsions, your mind will convince you again and again that you have not done this action.
References could come in so many forms, you could have an obsession over a piece of music for example, and feel protective over it, for example, you could become so obsessed with a TV show that you know and you would fear that someone else that you hate might know or watch it, and references become branched more and more with cues that complicates it even more.
Dealing With It.
Although medications could lessen the severity of your OCD symptoms, However, it is still a hard path to take, which requires inner support and decision making, like when you quit smoking, you try to overcome your fear by putting yourself out there, taking risks, and sacrifices, but it is not easy, however with time it could lead to successful progress, the second way is to avail yourself of it and make full use of it, OCD patients have their advantages, their state of mind and patience allow them to excel on doing many jobs, I remember in architecture school, my symptoms started to adapt to the required assignments, like drawing, rechecking and recalculating, of course, it takes a lot of your valuable time, but believe it or not, sometimes it benefits you, being obliged to deal with everyday pursuits will make your symptoms diminish over time, you just need the determination to overcome it.
- Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders: DSM-5
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and does not substitute for diagnosis, prognosis, treatment, prescription, and/or dietary advice from a licensed health professional. Drugs, supplements, and natural remedies may have dangerous side effects. If pregnant or nursing, consult with a qualified provider on an individual basis. Seek immediate help if you are experiencing a medical emergency.
© 2022 Wynter Northfield