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Comparing to Others Is Detrimental to Your Success. Nobody Is You and the World Needs a Lot More of You!

Michelle is an introvert who struggles with anxiety, depression, self-doubt, and overthinking. Comparison has held her back many times.

No ifs, and, or BUTS

I have an idea, but... Do a lot of your sentences start this way? I can't tell you how many times I have repeated these words. I have an idea but it's not great. I have an idea but she already wrote about it. I have an idea but this business is already doing it. I have an idea but it's already been done. I will spend hours sitting around thinking up a million and one ideas yet never execute them because every idea is followed by "but" and most often followed with some kind of false belief about why it's not a good one. I will waste hours trying to think of what doesn't exist already instead of living my soul's purpose - spreading awareness. It's been done BUT not by me!

Your story is needed too

Whatever your passion or purpose ends up being I guarantee you, thousands of other people are doing it too, and knowing this used to intimidate me. It used to hold me back from stepping forward with my own interpretation. I used to think, "well, they already have their perspective, why would mine make a difference." It DOES make a difference because as human beings we are all different. We all absorb information differently. Energies are felt differently. Sure this other person already wrote a book about sexual abuse but that's HER version, her feelings, her thoughts, her survival methods, her healing recovery which would differ from all of yours. Her style of writing would also be different. Her choice of words would not be the same as you. Yes, a lot of people will be helped with her version but what about those people who can't relate to how she felt? What if they don't click with the energy she projects through her writing? What if her healing methods don't align with someone else's needs? What if others don't agree with her way of thinking? What about those people who need YOUR version?

Your version will always be needed and matter. The same can be said about art, or music, or teaching. Everyone has their own energy; their own style; their own story. Someone out there is waiting for you to share yours.

The social media vortex

I have a love-hate relationship with social media. I love the idea of it to market and share your dreams, your products, your skills, your talents, and your stories. You can change the world from your bed. But you can also change your world and never get out of bed because of it. Having everyone showcase their versions in one place makes it way too easy to compare and feel inferior. As a self-doubter, you constantly feel like everyone else is better than you at everything. Oh, she has 100 likes and I have 20, her art must be better than mine. Oh, she's offering courses about relieving stress and anxiety, she must know more than me. Why bother.

I struggle with comparison, self-doubt, and overthinking, I find myself needing to take breaks from social media or only go on to specifically post something on my page without looking around at anything else. At first, I would feel guilty about not supporting, liking, and commenting on my followers' posts every single day but our sanity, our motivation, our success doesn't rely on them, it relies on us and for us to advance in life, we need to put our mental health first.

On the days that I feel mentally stronger, then I will go on social media and spend a little more time supporting, sharing, and shining a light on my online friends because I am capable of being genuinely happy for their hustle and success.

At the end of the day, you have to make social media work for you, not the other way around.

Do it for you, not for others

When I get caught up in my head and my anxiety starts spitting false claims at me triggering my need to please others and be accepted by others, I change the story. My ideas are now not for anyone else but me. This trick removes the need to please, to be liked, or to get recognition for whatever it is I am doing. If I am happy, then that's all that matters.

In reality, this mindset can be challenged by your own logic when the need to pay rent and bills come up. Selling that jacket determines whether you get to keep your apartment one more month or not and that can be scary. That sale does rely on having actual customers so how can you say it's not for them? The idea is to trick your mind here into believing that those customers don't matter so that your creative process is not intercepted with false anxious thoughts. If your mind is clear from negativity, then you'll be creating more therefore acquiring more potential customers in the end. If your mind is going to be filled with thoughts anyways might as well fill it with thoughts that will ultimately benefit you.

The copycat syndrome

I have fallen prey to the copycat syndrome. This disorder makes you envy someone else's success and then also makes you copy their work in the hopes of getting the same success. Been there, done that, it doesn't work! You were not born as the magical person that you are just so you can go copy someone else. Avoid at all costs.

When you copy someone else, you insult your own soul. You become imbalanced spiritually because their purpose and path are not yours. Worst of all, the world is starved of your own creations. In copying someone else, you rob yourself of the opportunities waiting for your ideas to be realized into existence.

Do you know what else happens when you copy someone else's idea? You also copy their mistakes and failures. Now not only are you wasting your time with ideas that don't belong to you, but you're also taking a mental hit when you fail. Now, you're being crushed by a burden keeping you from your own abundance.

There's a difference between sharing your truth about the same topic as someone else and straight-up plagiarism. You deserve better than that.

Truth above all else

I get lost. I get confused. I get tempted. I get blinded by my ego and fears. I get pulled in a million directions. I get dizzy by my need to succeed yet my lack of self-belief. I get scared of failing. I doubt my knowledge. I doubt my skills. I overthink and criticize myself. I convince myself that this world doesn't care about what I've got to offer. I fall prey to the illusions of perfection. I yearn for acceptance and feel like I have to copy someone else to get it. I constantly ponder over what I think others want from me. I worry that I am too much or too little.

When my anxiety starts spiraling out of control, truth is what brings me back. I stand in my truth. I speak my truth. I share my truth. I create based on my truth. When I live life in MY truth, there's no room for comparison or copying anyone else because my truth is the only one that exists. My truth is the only thing that keeps me aligned with my purpose. The only thing that keeps me balanced and free. No masks, no faking, no filter. Standing in my truth removes the need to pretend, hide, and get confused about who I am. Admitting my truth allows me to make decisions without the guilt of what others might think. Creating from my truth comes naturally, heals me, and fulfills my soul's need to share and release.

Living in my truth also allows me to keep creating despite what the rest of the world is doing. It allows me to keep flowing instead of coming to a halt and getting sucked in by the anxiety quicksands. It allows me to inspire others with my creativity, courage, accomplishments, and realness. I ultimately show others that their truths matter too and motivate them to live theirs as bravely as I am. That sense of fulfillment is priceless.

No more comparing. Get out there and live your truth! I can't wait to see what you create XO.

Comparison kills dreams

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This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.

© 2021 Michelle Brady

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