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Never Let Social Contracts, Whether With Friends or Loved Ones, Pressure You Into an Unhappy Situation

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When you consider other people’s opinions to be essential in your decision-making process, you begin to form your own self-image based on their judgments. If you aren’t aware of it, this mindset can be more harmful than helpful. It may push you towards making decisions you don’t necessarily want to make. It eventually becomes a pattern of making decisions without considering your own wants and desires, which sadly leads to dissatisfaction and unhappiness in your life.

If other people’s opinions are essential in your decision-making process, you become a reflection of everyone else’s expectations and end up living a life that is not entirely yours but rather everyone else’s idea of what it should be. You don’t grow into a person with particular objectives and aspirations for yourself; instead, you sacrifice some of your most valued attributes to meet the expectations of others.

When you allow others to make every decision for you, it’s because you don’t understand your own interests, goals, and needs. As a result, you will seek advice from those who have little to no experience or knowledge. Any advice offered by these sources is inherently based on how they think it should go, not how it will help you achieve your end goal.

Sometimes, you might make decisions out of habit or in reaction to a fear of failure. Whenever you make decisions out of habit or in reaction to a fear of failing, you are essentially giving up control over your own life. These are not actions that bring true happiness. Of course, there will always be times when you need guidance. Seeking counsel is perfectly fine, but ultimately, you should be the one who determines where your life goes.

In addition to your fear of failing, you may feel overwhelmed by all of the choices in front of you, and you may let someone else make the decision for you because it’s the easier choice. As a result, you hide behind the decisions of others. You persuaded yourself that it is preferable to let others make decisions on your behalf. Seek impartial advice from people who are competent but do not give away complete control.

If your decision disappoints or offends someone, you may feel guilty. While empathy and understanding other people’s feelings are vital, worrying about what others think of you makes it difficult to make decisions for yourself, which can lead to feeling continually uncomfortable and unhappy.

Spend more time considering your own thoughts and opinions, as well as learning how to take a position when your opinions differ from what everyone else expects from you.

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Don’t make yourself a puppet of other people’s opinions, wants, and needs. This leads many people to live with regrets and opportunities they didn’t seize, personal goals that were never met, and sacrifices they made for no real reason — and little confidence in their true abilities or worthiness.

Never allow social contracts, whether with friends or loved ones, to pressure you into an unhappy situation. You won’t grow and will fail to realize the person you should be. Everyone needs people. Moreover, a good relationship with a significant other, family, or friends is key to being healthy and happy. It is, however, all too simple to let someone else’s life become your own. In time, you find it difficult to separate their obligations from your personal responsibilities to yourself.

Getting input from someone with a lot of life experience or fresh eyes to assess a situation is important, but ultimately, the final opinion that counts is your own. Furthermore, it is your responsibility to choose who these people are and how they might support your personal development.

The more important something is to you, the more you should make it a priority. For some, it can be hard, but if it isn’t going to make or break someone else’s life, then there is nothing stopping you. Always consider what is best for you rather than what will please someone else. By doing so, you can begin to shape your life around what you want, instead of what others want from you.

© 2022 William Saint Val

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