Michelle is a mother of a precious three year old little boy and is currently getting her degree to become a drug counselor.
My 2 Year Experience with Drug Induced Psochosis/Schizophrenia - Delusions, Voices, and Hallucinations
It all started in June of 2016. I decided to try drugs (meth) for the first and only time. Starting from that day and for the next 2 years, my life changed in the worst way. I'm going to share some of the details of my horrific journey. Immediately after use, I started to see things that were not there. I spent the whole weekend outside in the woods by myself because I thought everyone was trying to kill me.
For about 6 months, I believed that NASA was up in space and they had radiation on my brain! I thought I had 50 million dollar check coming from Donald Trump that my boyfriend intercepted and stole from me. Everytime Donald Trump ws on TV, I was sure he was talking directly to me.
I also thought that everyone could read my mind. Everytime I thought anything, I thought everyone knew it. I would literally see people with guns trying to get a good shot to kill me. I would duck and hide behind couches and stuff for hours.
The worst delusion I had was believing that my mom and my boyfriend were in secret relationship. This one was really bad and drove me absolutely crazy. Could you imagine really believing that your mom and boyfriend are secret lovers? It was torture!
During this time I got pregnant and had a baby. I found out I was pregnant because I went to the emergency room because I was sure I had bugs crawling all over me! I was crazy throughout my whole pregnancy and once again believed that NASA had radiation on my baby. When he was born and his eyes were black, I knew that was from the radiation. I remember holding him seeing bugs crawling everywhere on him. It was truly the worst experience of my life.
I would see spiders and bugs coming out of the walls and floors everywhere. I could literally feel bugs biting me all over my body all the time, and I hate bugs! Another time I though my boyfriend was trying to poison me and I took a Gatorade bottle to the police station to have it tested for poison, I filed a police report and everything. Thank God he did not get arrested.
One time during my pregnancy, I called the cops on my mom for helping NASA to try and kill me and my baby. Obviously the cops knew I was crazy and she did not get in any trouble. I called the cops many times on my friends and family because I thought they were all trying to hurt me.
I took 4 full bottles of Risperdone, Zoloft, Lamictal, and Tylenol because the voices told me to kill myself. Luckily, my boyfriend found me and took me to the hospital. He said I was talking like a baby and kept saying I was cold.
He put me in 3 different mental hospitals, but they would just let me go and I would not take my medicine. Finally, it took an unfortunte event to get my life back.
I broke the window out of my neighbors brand new car in the middle of the night because I could physiclly see my mom and boyfriend inside of it, obviously they were not. Well, they called the cops and the jail made me start taking my medicine.
I ended up in jail for a little over 2 months and one day I just woke up and was normal again. The craziest part is how I can remember it all. Once I became normal again, I could not believe what I had gone through! Everything just made sense. I dont know how my boyfriend stayed with me through all this, but he did.
Now, we have a three year old handsome little boy and could not be happier!