Grace has seen the negative impact of large families through her extended family.It's thoughtless to have more children than one can afford.
The Phenomena of Pregnancy Addiction
There are women who incessantly get pregnant. They already have children to care for; however, these women believe in having yet more and more children. Psychologists and psychiatrists call this need "pregnancy addiction". According to these psychologists and psychiatrists, the constant need to get pregnant is much as an addiction as other types of addiction. Psychiatrists further maintain that the constant need to get pregnant is a mental disorder.
There are women who are so in love with being pregnant and having children that they often neglect the children they have already have. Women who are obsessed with becoming pregnant do so to fill a void in their lives. These women often do not have a job/career, friends, hobbies, and/or an outside life. They are oftentimes extremely lonely and believe that being perpetually pregnant fills this loneliness and void in their lives.
Women who continue to get pregnant do so in order to feel useful and worthwhile. These women furthermore believe that they are nothing without children. These women further assert that they feel more feminine and womanly when they are pregnant. Other women are obsessed with being pregnant because they receive adulation and are stars for the moment. They feel as if they are the centers of the universe.
However, many women incessantly become pregnant as an excuse not to pursue other interests such as a job, career, and/or further education. There are many women who do not want to interface with the outside world which they perceive as threatening and foreboding. They are comfortable being in the domestic sphere and they continuously get pregnant in order to avoid interfacing with the outside world.
There are some women who constantly become pregnant in order to salvage their marriages. They contend that their husbands will never leave a mother with lots of children. They further believe that being having children will cement their marriages. There are women who keep getting pregnant to avoid the empty nest syndrome which means that they have to interface with their husbands more. These women are afraid to be alone with their husbands so they keep getting pregnant in order to have children whom they believe will act as buffers between them and their husbands.
Keith Ablow, M.D., a Boston psychiatrist, maintains that women who are obsessed with being pregnant, often have underlying problems and they are often insecure. Dr. Ablow further asserted that they have the need to continuously get pregnant because of deep emotional and psychological issues i.e. whether it is dependency needs, the need for attention and adoration, and to avoid certain problems that they have.
There are women who constantly get pregnant because it is an emotional rush to them. Pregnancy releases oxytocin, the feel good hormone. When women are pregnant, they have healthy glow and appearance. There are many women who remark that they feel so good being pregnant; however, when the baby is born, they lose this feeling. They often wish to capture this feeling and do so by repeatedly becoming pregnant.
There are women who view pregnancy as an end all. They are in love with being pregnant; however, when the baby is born, it is often too much for these women to handle. There are women who are in love with the theoretical idea of pregnancy and the novelty of newborns. However, when the newborn becomes a toddler, they tire of him/her and want to get pregnant again and have another newborn, often neglecting the children they already have.
In conclusion, there are mothers who have an addiction to pregnancy. Many psychologists and psychiatrists classify this as a mental illness. There are reasons for this malady. Many women habitually become pregnant because of the attention and adulation they receive from others. They feel as if they are stars and goddesses for the moment.
There are mothers who continuously get pregnant to feel a sense of self-worth and to feel useful. These are still other women who only feel womanly and feminine when they are continuously pregnant. Many women become habitually pregnant to fill a void in their lives. These women often have neither careers nor other outside interests and they sublimate all this energy to becoming pregnant repeatedly.
Many women use the issue of being constantly pregnant to avoid the the "big and bad" outside world, feeling more comfortable and secure within the domestic sphere. There are many women who repeatedly get pregnant in order to hold their marriages together and to avoid the empty nest syndrome. Other women are obsessed with being pregnant because it makes them feel good.
There are some mothers who are in love with the idea of being pregnant and having newborns. However, when the newborn becomes a toddler, the novelty wears off and the mother loses the high and often becomes pregnant again with deleterious effects on her already existing children. Yes, these women do have a verifiable addiction. Furthermore, they have a mental illness but they do not know it. Children are treasured individualized human beings to be cherished and loved. They are not collectible items! Women who have a pregnancy addition should seek psychiatric treatment for this is a sickness as any other.
More Hubs to Read
- The Large Family is Pathological, Part 2/2
I hope that this is going to be my last hub on the large family. We are all too familiar with the extreme megafamilies presented on cable television such as the Duggars and the Bates. The Duggars of Arkansas now have a total of NINETEEN children....
- The Large Family is Pathological, Part 1/2
Many decades ago, the large family was revered by society. Parents were praised for having lots of children. Psychologists and sociologists heaped emulations on parents that how beautiful and altruistic they were for bringing so many children into...
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on October 17, 2020:
Sharon, mothers of large families don't give a crap about their children beyond giving birth. Yes, mothers of large families are addicted to being pregnant. They also have baby hunger.
Mothers of large families have a void in their lives. They have no outside interests which explains why they are continuously pregnant. If they had outside hobbies & interests, they wouldn't be pregnant all the time. Large families are totally unnecessary in this postmodern age of advanced contraception. Anyone who has a large family is irresponsible as well as selfish & immature.
Sharon Ward on October 17, 2020:
Wow I really think you yourself have some deep rooted issues you should come to terms with, your post is quite offensive to big families. How you think mothers of large families don't give a crap about their children or how children raised in big families are feral is beyond me :/ seriously to say big families are in the pecking order ! you should open your mind and not be so judgmental ;)
Step mommy on December 11, 2019:
My step sons mother has the traits of this. She has 3 children by 3 men and ustody of none. She is in and out of their lives. Now she is pregnant again with yet another man. The strange thing is she is attempting to be a mother now but only when convenient.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on December 06, 2018:
This is TYPICAL behavior of large families. Large families live in an inverse world which is different from normal people. Large families AREN'T normal. In fact, they are DYSFUNCTIONAL & PATHOLOGICAL in scope. Large families are a BED of dysfunction. "Parents" of large families don't give a crap about their children. If they did, they would have small families in which children are cherished, given attention, & the best opportunities. "Parents" of large families are nominal parents only. Children in large families raise & nurture themselves. Children in large families are feral, uncouth, unrefined, & untrained. I have noticed this behavior in large families. Large families are the LOWEST in the pecking order of families. I have written many articles on large families- please check them out. Thank you for responding.
Oldbetty on December 06, 2018:
Yes, I totally agree somethings a miss, yet she continues to say I always wanted a large family cause I come from one. Pains she loves children, yet I’ve witnessed total strangers care about the safety of her kids. I worked at a restaurant where a fellow employee stood by the door ensuring the kids would not run out and hit hit by traffic. Yet the crazy thing the husband says she can have as many as she wants since she’s watching them. I don’t get why people don’t tell her to watch her kids better or stop, geez I’ve even witnessed her kid eat dog shit as she was crawling on a lawn, while the mother wasn’t paying attention to the kid
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on December 05, 2018:
Yes mothers of large families have this psychological, even psychiatric disorder. They have children to fill a void in their lives. They have a pregnancy addiction. They continuously have children, although they can't afford to adequately take care of them. This places a burden on the father who has to work constantly to stay afloat economically. In the future, I will discuss the deleterious effect of large families on the husband. Your sister in law exhibits the behavior of mothers who have large families-uncontrolled, feral children who raise & support themselves,& such mothers have little to do w/the children beyond giving birth. Michelle Duggar exemplify pregnancy addition to the nth power.
Oldbetty on December 05, 2018:
I have a sis in law same thing, has a slew of kids, close I’m age, once there independent she has another. Claims it brings you closer to your spouse the more you have. Her husband works like crazy has health problems and she does the bare minimum. These kids are unsupervised, sent outside all the time. She’s happy when Monday come than they all go to school all day. She’s also the first to tap herself on the back for being soo good of a parent and how she’s raising 6 kids. I just get it
Helen on November 19, 2018:
It may be a temporary hormone problem. I went through it and being in a dysfunctional marriage, plus a husband in the service gone a lot, helped get over it. I had a boss whose wife wanted a third child. He asked my advice. Suggested he act enthused, but wanted to make sure she and three children could get along without him if he passed or was an invalid. Might take a few months. Took me less than three to get over my baby desire. Asked myself: how could I support and care for three children, in case I had to? I had no family that could help me out When he came home between trips, that's all it took.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on August 18, 2017:
Your sister-in-law needs counselling period. She has a deep seated need for attention. Women who are addicted to pregnancy has a deep seated need for attention which they feel that they only receive when they are pregnant. Also, your sister-in-law needs outside activities & friends, women who have a pregnancy addiction have NO OUTSIDE interests that is why they continuously become pregnant as there is a void in their lives.
Susan on August 17, 2017:
My sister in law has this addiction. Her doctors have told her she could die from hemoraging again. She has birthed 6 children almost all 14-16months apart. My brother pays thousands of dollars for nannies, housekeepers, constant shopping addiction and I am deeply concerned he will eventually have a stroke from the financial pressure. They eat crappy snacks and sports drinks for meals and she seems to dislike them once they reach a certain age. Breaking my heart. I love the kids, I love my brother....why can't she see what she is doing? The only thing that will stop this madness is my brother getting snipped or God forbid buckling under a medical issue from the pressure.
sonnet gram on December 25, 2015:
I come from a family where my mother was addicted to being pregnant ,my father was an inadequate alchohlic and I can assure all the offspring have been damaged emotionally in various ways, its also true my mother was unable to give any love as was my father as both seemed to suffer from a form of narcisism, they did not have the money or social skills or interest in any of their children except tp use them as pawns to prop up their dreadful marriage, this type of situation spawns all kinds of serious issues, such as extreme violence from the mother towards several of the growing children and violence from the father also , never mind what has been said above its not on in many cases just because someone is addicted to pregnancy and chooses a useless husband its disgracful behaviour and and both needed to have psychiatric intervention never mind all the nonsense about hormones etc , it was deliberate to have these pregnancies so she could feel what ever , and damage all of the other siblings with her neglect and ignorance its a pathetic addiction and actually damages the whole family as I said disgrscful and selfish.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on May 04, 2015:
Amen to you, what an eloquently intelligent response.
yakima on May 04, 2015:
Good grief - those who think Catholic women don't have a choice are just ignorant. All Catholics know about natural family planning & it doesn't involve a pill, IUD or the like. I know plenty of women who use religion as an excuse when what they're really doing is filling a void in their lives as suggested in article. I loved being pregnant too but need to take care of those I have - four beautiful children who deserve all my love, attention and time.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on March 19, 2015:
Yes, she does have an obsession with pregnancy in order to full a void in her life. She has no outside friends nor hobbies. She also have vey little education. All those are voids which she fills by becoming pregnant.
Cindy on March 19, 2015:
I have a niece who is 21 and pregnant with her fourth baby! She didn't graduate from high school and her first baby is to a different man than the others. She was all upset because she couldn't celebrate her 21 st birthday due to being pregnant and vowed the next summer she would be back in shape and she was done being pregnant. She has 2 boys and a girl and is now pregnant with #4! I am seriously worried about her bc her fiancé is only 22 and I think it's crazy to believe she will be happy for the rest of her life just having babies
.My husband and I knew she was going to announce another pregnancy when she complained about deleting the pregnancy app from her phone. Her oldest isn't quite 4& her youngest is 6 mos and she's due again before her youngest turns 1! Making her kids 4,1and a half, 6 mos and another one due in 6 mos, she will by then be 22!I think she may be suffering from some kind of disorder and I'm worried about her. Any feedback??
Concerned Mom-to-be on March 16, 2015:
I am a woman suffering from a mental illness (although i is not being addicted to pregnancy as identified here), and I have to agree with what is written here. I've had counseling and medication to help me sustain a clear head and mental outlook for myself, which is why I've allowed myself now at 33 to become pregnant. I'm engaged to be married, am college educated and come from a 2-parent home. I've recently engaged my fiance's cousin in a close relationship because we happen to be pregnant at the same time. Here's the problem: This is here 5th or 6th pregnancy; 2 or 3 which were miscarriages, after which she was told by her doctor NOT to become pregnant anymore for fear she might rupture regions within her cervical area, and she has had surgery in the past to repair this area. She has 2 sets of twins already, pre-teens and a set of 4 year-olds. Her pre-teens were awarded to her mother by the state for lack of care some many years ago, although she lives with her twins, her other set of twins, and her husband (who is the father only to the most recent twins and her current fetus; which now makes 5 children), all in the basement of her mother's home. Her husband does not have a stable job as a construction contractor and her job certainly does not pay well enough to support her and her children should something happen and her husband cannot work.
Sadly, the laundry list of issues with this family is that her youngest twins have learning and speech delays; as do 1 of her older twins. The family cannot afford to move out of her mother's basement. It is known that she has attacked her own mother in her own home; which is part of the reason her oldest twins were removed from her care; all attributed to a mental-illness she does acknowledge, however seems to ignore. When I first met her (she wasn't pregnant at the time), she alerted me to plans of having more children, and this was beautiful to here, although I was not aware of her troubled-family past. Meanwhile, when mentioning news of this to my fiancé, he proceeded to tell me this could not be true because he's spoken with her husband who does not want any more children. She had been planning this pregnancy for the 3-4 months I'd been getting acquainted with her, having me believe this was a FAMILY decision.
In short, it turns out she spends more time at the doctor's office for every little hiccup she feels with her now unborn child, she calls all family members, including me, with every little detail of the pregnancy; and I'm told she carried on with this very same routine with her past pregnancies - all seemingly pursing attention when nothing was wrong. Now that she's told by her own doctor she should not be having any additional pregnancies (including her current pregnancy), I'm told by her family that she seeks out attention even more, in addition to telling me, who's she's just met, that she wishes this was another set of twins and not just a single gestation. She also states that she has no problem having more children even if her husband does not want any and that if he doesn't want them, then he should be "snipping himself." I'm sorry, but this is just plain selfish and manipulating if you ask me. This man did not know she was attempting to become pregnant this time around and assumed they were "done." She knows she cannot afford this additional child and does not care. In addtion, she is putting stress on her mother's home where she is a guest, does not have sufficient help for her current children who are mentally delayed and is now being threatened with divorce at the delivery room with her current fetus because her husband is furious with her selfish decision-making.
If you mean to tell me this woman is not suffering from a disorder causing her to be addicted to pregnancy when her life is heading in the direction of shambles, if not already there, then maybe you are not aware of what making an educated decision means. Because I suffer from my own demons and don't know her very well, I feel it is not my place to address her directly, but this does not at all seem NATURAL nor HEALTHY, and certainly not wise. Just because we can become pregnant, does not mean that we should...we were given minds and freedom to make choices for a reason. I can tell you first hand that her children are suffering because they come looking for attention from me or anyone else whenever I see them at my home. I've even donated clothes; etc. to these poor children because they ask and seem so much in need of attention...people who continue on to have children while not taking care of the ones they have are in need of serious help. I'm making the decision to have just 1 child at this time because after therapy much contemplation it is what I believe I can handle and because I want to pass my wisdom on - not just pro-create because I believe it is my right.
Trixie on February 14, 2015:
Thanks for spending time on the computer (wtgiinr) so others don't have to.
kathleen on January 24, 2015:
Scary stuff. Children are a gift. Have only as many as you can properly care for.
Fedorabro69 on November 16, 2014:
This is exactly what us logical males have been trying to say for decades. Females are pretty much all attention seeking, hormone driven, emotional trainwrecks waiting to happen. They should never, ever be trusted with family planning since their estrogen addled minds are incapable of rational decision making. Any female with 3 or more kids is pretty much guaranteed to be some sort of mentally ill nutcase spermjacked (theft of sperm) some innocent male to get attention for herself or to get rich off of child support. Only under the guidance of strong alpha males, such as myself, can females be properly controlled and put in their place!
By the way, this was sarcasm.
Jallie on November 01, 2014:
I came to this page looking for what is known about this type of issue. If you are one watching this thing happen and can see full well the destruction of a family that is imminent you don't have any questions at all that something very unhealthy is happening. I so far am finding very little from professionals aside from those generated around the Octomom and the tv reality shows several years ago and this recent blog. gmwilliams I found your article helpful and informative in trying to understand some of the many reasons this happens... however, I am disappointed in your post later when you resorted to calling people degrading and disrespectful names. It is my belief that this can happen to anyone no matter how educated they are... addiction can happen to anyone and for many reasons. Each has a story to tell and most of these people; I'm guessing, didn't get there as a well laid plan.... hindsight truly is 20/20 but unfortunately...we as humans make unwise choices that comes from ignorance...not always stupidity...there is a difference. Addiction is sometimes thought to come from a predisposition in the persons biological make up; others lacked something in their emotional development as a child; and etc. What I noticed in these post more often than not in those defending those that have large families is the word "I" To me that is the deciding factor in determining something unhealthy is going on... when someone is doing it for the fulfillment of "I". Having children is a very fulfilling thing...I had three...my nest is empty now and I'm entering retirement.... and as of yet...nothing has quite brought that kind of fulfillment and level of significance as nurturing them. But I had a healthy understanding of when continuing would impact my marriage and family in a very destructive way. That is called love... I loved my husband to much to burden him with more than he could provide and take his pride away...and I loved my children enough to have them far enough part so I could give them the bonding time so they could grow up without detachment issues. It is my hope that anyone reading this blog struggling with this addiction will give serious thought to their true motives. I urge you to love your unborn children enough to examine the level of stresses that are in your life so that when they do come...your family is stable, committed and capable to meeting their needs... not just for them to fulfill some unhealthy lacking in your own makeup.
LR on September 10, 2014:
It's the husband who wants the wife to be pregnant, usually with his children, so that way she doesn't leave him nor get pregnant by another man. Usually these women have husbands who don't trust them to have careers, outside interests, friends, nor hobbies. Their husbands are very possessive and overprotective of them so they want them to be pregnant with their children only to prevent them from straying.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on July 10, 2014:
Hmmbug, your name should be Smartperson. Totally agree, this obsession with having large families is beyond stupid if you ask me. What is good about large families? Well, poverty, want, struggle, no privacy, poor food/nutrition, having to work in childhood, and foregoing education.
In essence, there's NOTHING GOOD about large families. People who have large families are psychotic and have voids in their lives that be filled by jobs/careers, friends, activities, and hobbies instead of popping out kids ad infinitum. I believe that birth control should be mandatory, 1-2 children only.
Yes, large families are responsible for POVERTY and CRIME. Small families are GOOD for society, higher standards of living and individualism which are beneficial for society. Thank you for stopping by and adding to the discussion!
By the way, you are right in saying that large families have little to do with loving kids. In fact, it is parents of small families who LOVE their children by giving them individualized attention and care in addition to providing their children with the best that life has to offer. Parents of large families, au contraire, DON'T love kids although they possess to doing so.
If you love your kids, you wouldn't subject them to struggle, doing without, having them live on top of each other like animals, making them wear castoff and secondhand clothing, neglecting them, and all the other negative things that children from large families are subjected to. Large families are a dinosaur which only the illiterate, stupid, and uneducated have.
Hmmbug on July 10, 2014:
The churches or belief systems that foster the old large family, due to no longer existing farm needs or high death rates, are responsible for adding to poverty and crime in the world. Africa for example cannot get out of its own way unless there is better population control. What good is a poorly raised economically unviable large family? Large family obsession is not normal and has little to do with loving kids.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on April 13, 2014:
To Amanda, Thank you for stopping by and adding to the discussion. Women from large families can never be qualified and deemed to be good mothers. In fact, they disqualify greatly. To be a good mother means that a MOTHER must be constantly involved and interactive with the child/children. Women from large families RELEGATE the raising and responsibility of children to the oldest/older children. Women from large families have it EASIEST; they are mothers in name only, seldom are they involved in raising their children. They just keeping popping them, giving them to the oldest children so they can continue popping them out.
Pregnancy addiction is a serious ilnness. Women who have this condition do so because they have no outside interests, friends, jobs, nor hobbies. They also have a strong sense of inferiority. They feel that they are nothing in or of themseles so they become pregnant to gain a sense of self. There are women with baby addiction, they love babies but once the children become older, the child loses the magic so they become pregnant again and again.......and again. This women need psychiatric treatment to cure them of pregnancy addiction. Children are not dolls to collect but individual beings that need love and attention.
Amanda Roddy on April 13, 2014:
Ann Landers caused quite a controversy years ago when she said birth control was all the woman's responsibility. I agree with CherylIvanHoorn in saying it works both ways. She brings up a good point about men. Andrea Yates comes to mind concerning religious dogma. She didn't have 5 kids because of an addiction. She had 5 kids because of a twisted beliefs and her husband didn't want to stop in spite of doctor's warnings. Michelle Duggar has been lucky in some respects. Jim Bob Duggar says it is up to her, but I take that with a grain of salt. I think men can be addicted as well. While I am certain there may be women of larger families who seem to be good mothers, but it seems to be their only ID and someone will get neglected no matter how good of a mother others think they are. I do agree pregnancy addiction is real and unnatural as it is unnatural to have a food addiction. And notice none of these people ever consider adoption. it is an addition because they must have a bio child.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on April 10, 2014:
YOU really need help. Get a job, get involved in activities, get friends, or a hobby. You are really sick and need psychiatric help.
Rochelle on April 10, 2014:
I am addicted to pregnancy. I don't care about the attention- I always plan to keep it a secret, but eventually someone finds out (I made it to 17 weeks last time). I love all my children and don't neglect them...I spend every moment of my day attending to their needs. The "novelty" of the newborn isn't it either. My youngest is 5 weeks and I literally wanted to be pregnant again the day after he was born. I LOVE pregnancy. I don't know what it is about it, but I love it. I don't know when I will stop having children. Lucky for me I breastfeed so my kids are all 2-3 years apart...I don't think I'll be like Michelle Duggar, even though I did start having kids at 18. I could end up with 15 if I'm like my mother and don't experience menopause until 55...
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on January 10, 2014:
@ Careerdrivenandamom, I believe that women who choose to have large families(6 or more children per household) are acting selfishly and without forethought. There is NO WAY that parents can effectively raise a large family by themselves. This means that the OLDEST child MUST parent the younger children, forfeiting his/her childhood and adolescence. This is not right at all. Children SHOULD NOT be raising children. Each child should have a childhood. Unfortunately, oldest children of large families DO NOT HAVE a childhood. Women who choose to have large families should be frowned upon for they are not concern about how having additional children have ramification upon the remaining children.
In large families, older children are oftentimes cast aside and either neglected or pressed to be parents. Have you heard of the parentified child. The oldest child in large families(6 or more children per household) are parentified children. While one is popping out children ad infinitum, it is the OLDEST child who is the actual parent to the siblings, not the parents. This is immoral and selfish, what gives you the right to burden your oldest child. That is downright abusive. The oldest child is a child and has a right to enjoy his/her youth. What you are doing by having all these children is to deprive the oldest and/or older children of a normative childhood and adolescence. I feel that 1-3, maybe 4 children, is an adequate amount of children for parents to effectively raise without cosigning the oldest child to be a parent. No child should be a parent. What is wrong with you lady? Think for once!
People are not biased against large families. They know the inherent evils of the large family system. Yes, the large family is evil for myriad reasons. Truly intelligent women DON'T have large families, they are aware of the emotional, psychological, and financial detriments of the large family system. In the large family, some children(the oldest/older) will be neglected, waysided, and waylaided in favor of the younger children. An example of this is the Duggar clan. Each time Michelle pops out one, it is the OLDEST daughters who are RAISING them, not Michelle. Really, lady, you need to get a grip. Women who choose to have large families are abusive parents-abusive to their oldest children in making such children parentified. To reiterate, no child should be a parentified because a mother has an obsession with having children.
careerdrivenandamom on January 10, 2014:
Very sad when women who choose to have large families are judged. AS IN THE PREVIOUS POSTS. I find this more negative and opinionated then soundly informative. I'm quite insulted that a statement, such that intelligent women with careers know not to have many kids. Well not too insulted just puzzled by such a comment. It appears very biased. I guess you and others on here are the ones who look at a women with 4+ kids and frown upon them. This is based on not only the original post but all the comments that followed.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on January 01, 2014:
You are quite welcome indeed.
sarah on January 01, 2014:
I have taken measures to prevent any more pregancys and am glad it is recognised as an illness as I was unaware on the otherhand I feel I have done all I need to career wise after 5 years in the navy I definatly will seek further advice and am thankful for this hub
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on January 01, 2014:
Sarah, you are ADDICTED to pregnancy. This is not healthy at all. Please get medical help. Get involved in some outside activities. Have some friends, get a JOB, CAREER. What YOU are doing is not psychologically healthy at all. What YOU have is a sickness!
sarah on January 01, 2014:
To add to last comment partner works as head chef in a buisy restaurant and we have a happy relationship he chooses his hours and sometimes chooses not to get paid to keep within targets so im not putting financial strain on him there are lots of ways to avoid extra costs of children
sarah on January 01, 2014:
I googled this as my 2nd child is 4 1/2 months old and I want another (only 22 months between my children) I can completely relate and glad others feel the same, I urge to have lots of children or be pregnant as it makes me feel happy I like to look after people, I am the typical person I am a house mother (partner works 58+ hours a week and believe my children should not be in childcare but have a relationship with atleast one parent) I have no social life or friends as such its just me and the kids family live 6 hour drive away others 2 hours, they are too well behaved, my son asks me to go to bed and naps well in the day they are both well cared for but once the house work is done I have nothing to do but play with the kids they nap 3 hours in day and go to bed at half 6 so have lots of time on my own, I love the hectic dinner time and bath time I feel I don't neglect my children at all they are well looked after and cared for, as a precaution had the coil fitted as the pill is too easy to just stop taking one day, not all people addicted to pregnancy neglect they're children and I don't think it should be all negative, to me its makes me feel proud and needed by my children the laundry the stories, nappy changes everything I crave for so maybe I do want it for attention but only from my children to feel loved by them
bdb on December 25, 2013:
My sister in law was already showing signs of addiction when her 6th child passed away at two months of age. Since then she can't have babies fast enough to satisfy an addiction that was already present. She's also trying to drown the sadness in a sea of babies. By the time the kids can walk she has little time or in them. Her husband is a fairly successful surgeon and he pays a team on nannies to raise the children which serves to further enable the addiction.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 18, 2013:
Many women have large families oftentimes to full some type of void in their lives. These women view children is the BE and END ALL. Many times, these women have NO outside life and hobbies. They simply HAVE children to fill this void. Also, these women are putting an onus on their husbands financially since their husbands are THE ONLY breadwinners in the family. Many women also have large families in order to HOLD ON to their husbands and THEY LOVE the attention that being pregnant entails.
Melanie on September 18, 2013:
Does it ever dawn on anyone that some people want large families? And not make it a psychological thing. Maybe for some women this is a full time job and it is as fulfilling as a career if not more. Who says a women have to have a career to be fulfilled? I think this article is Ludacris. I've had 4 children in 7 years. Since I was young, and I have an autobiography to prove it, I wrote for school when I was 10 saying "I wanted 4 children, 3 boys and 1 girl". Oddly enough that's exactly what I have too! And I still have something inside me that is secretly wishing for another child. I just love my children and can't get enough of them. It certainly isn't to keep my husband around. But I can agree a little that being pregnant is glorious, and that I love a newborn. Quite possibly I could be filling a small emotional void too, but I disagree that's why I'm thinking of having another baby. Its because I love my children and truly want another one. They are my world, I take care of them well. Its just a different world we live in now where big families aren't around as much. And its a shame that everyone thinks they have to label us women who choose to have lots of children with some psychological imbalance.
jdwest on July 23, 2013:
I definitely think this is a real thing. I'm pretty sure my wife has this disorder. We have 1 child together and she has 2 from previous relationships. I expressed the fact that I didn't want anymore kids while she was pregnant with ours and she made the decision to get her tubes tied. Now 6 years later, she blames me for not being able to get pregnant. Every month when that time of the month comes around she gets extremely depressed and when she finds out someone she knows is pregnant she gets very angry and says horrible things about them simply because they are pregnant and she isn't. Does anyone have any suggestions about how I may be able to help her out? I think some of hers has to do with a mis carriage before I met her and she is still trying to fill that void.
Amanda Roddy on June 01, 2013:
Beth 37@No one ever said all large families are from a pregnancy addiciton. Some of us see no justification in bringing so many kids in the world when there those who need good loving homes. Even if bio parents are exceleltn parents, what about the one-on-one attention? I am not childless by choice but hardly envy anyone with 6+ kids. I think these women feel their only ID is mother that isn't a result from addiciton. Liking kids and being their parents are far different.
I do agree pregnancy addiction is real. It reminds me of Michelle Duggar and Nadya Sulemean. Ye th situations vary, but the issue is the same. They need to have kids. And you don't have to be relgious. The cason family from California, featured on 'Megafamilies' documentary, is expecting their 17th child via IVF. The mother claims she isn't addicted but why would she go to such lengths after 16 kids, the youngest 2? She felt dispapointed after two miscarriages before they conceived no 17. It is one thing having several kids and another being disppointed after 16 kids less than two years apart and still want more.
Author Victoria Sheffield from Georgia on March 21, 2013:
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on March 10, 2013:
You are quite welcome. The situation you have described is quite sad indeed, that mother needs psychiatric counseling.
smcopywrite from all over the web on March 10, 2013:
unfortunately i know a woman who does seek the attention admiration and praise of being pregnant. she is a horrible mother and after having one baby she is on to the next one. unfortunately, the two husbands she has chosen to have these children with are not great parents either. they know which mate to seek out their procreation plan of action with because a father worth his salt wouldn't bother bringing a child into the world with them knowing their not so good intentions on becoming a loving parent after the birth of the baby.
there is definitely other psych problems at work here and after careful research i could not find any women seeking help for the problem. after all, wanted to be pregnant isn't a recognized condition of being mentally ill in the eyes of many.
we are still trying to get our relative with this issue to find the help she needs, but i dont see it happening any time soon if ever. she currently has eight at the age of 30 and says she will have as many as god will bless her with. the children are the ones that suffer.
how do you make a child report on someone that says she simply doesn't love them. she admits she doesn't love them and only wants to be pregnant. she feeds them and clothes them and by law that is all she is required to do.
thank you for putting together something so very important.
torrilynn on March 09, 2013:
this is a really great hub that you have here
I've never known someone to be addicted to being pregnant
I feel that it is more than possible and I find it a bit strange
thanks for sharing this information with myself and others
Voted up and shared
Hezekiah from Japan on March 09, 2013:
I am not a women but I can't imagine how anyone would be addictive to that pain and stress. I know some women are extremely fertile though, so they can't help it.
Beth37 on March 08, 2013:
"To cherylvanhoorn: Intelligent and thinking women do not have large families. They know that having large families negatively impacts upon their socioeconomic and emotional lives."
Holy cow that's a broad and sweeping statement. You might as well say all gays are child molesters and all republicans are homophobes. I have a friend who has 7 kids who is an amazing mother. Her family is something to be envied, with their sweet gentle spirit and supportive ways. They both went to college, she was an accountant before she decided to be a full time mom. I happen to know quite a few couples similar to them. Where your article could be a good description of a woman in trouble, it does not include all women who have big families.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on March 08, 2013:
Theophanes, you have really educated me. Where I live, 1-2 children per family are the norm and 5 children per family is a rarity. In fact, nowadays, 1 child per family is the norm. Couples are busy establishing themselves educationally and careerwise. In essence, highly intelligent and educated people are opting for smaller families because of the benefits to them and the child. Larger families are becoming more and more a province for the less affluent and educated among us. Even traditionally religious women are having small families nowadays.
Theophanes Avery from New England on March 08, 2013:
I live in a town where having 12 children is considered normal. I think it has more to do with that whole birth control is a sin thing... When my boyfriend moved here we were out one day and saw a family of 5 children all under the age of five with a mother in her early twenties. "That's a family starter package." I joked. Really though... I also have an extended family that seems to have many children out of...well...stupidity. Although religion has its part there too. No sex before marriage... and they're all shocked when their 16 year olds come home pregnant EVERY TIME. Hello, something's not working here, time to change something you're doing! I cut myself off from most my family. Couldn't handle the poverty, despair, and outright dysfunction.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on March 07, 2013:
Misty, totally agree with you.
Alexander from Kazakhstan on March 07, 2013:
We are friends of a Baptist family. They are Germans ethnically. A great number of children, 8. They are not rich in terms of wealth, but they are in any other terms. I believe it takes some courage to have that number of children. Most of Kazakhs also seek to give birth to as many children as possible. Perhaps this is due to their aspiration to build a new, larger nation. We have but one. I wish we had more, but... Well, it is the lack of courage actually to get more. In a modern-day world, pregnancy is exposed as something unnatural. At all times, people has as many children as they wished to or just were able to feed. No reason to raise this issue today as one in need for special consideration or discussion. It is private and personal. I suspect that there are some fucking liberals or homosexuals behind this post.
Misty [Never Give Your Full Real Name On The Internet] from Never Tell Where You Are On The Internet on March 07, 2013:
This makes me embarassed to be a career driven woman of today. I just got married and both my husband and my families seem to be pressuring children on us and I'm like dude I don't need three kids to be happy I am developing my portfolio. Then there are these women who do nothing but produce nothing more than a pooping tax deduction. These women need to have their children put into foster homes while these poor ladies go through counseling before they can't feed what they breed.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on March 07, 2013:
Thank you for your response, be free to stop by anytime. Thank you again.
Clayton Hartford from Alger WA on March 07, 2013:
Here is another angl, how about if the women has "pregnancy amnesia", wherte they fogot all the pain of the birth itself and are in love with the 9 months of pregnency. I brought this up with my wife a few times (we have 1 20 mo old)and she said that it could be true....after she laughed :) But I honestly believe it, after watching her give birth, and then whilst still in the hospital bed she asked when I wanted our secon child....pregnancy amnesia. Great Hub.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on March 07, 2013:
Thank you for your response.
The Chewy Mommy on March 07, 2013:
Having a child is an enormous responsibility and to have more than you can handle on purpose (no birth control is 100% effective) is not fair to the kids you already have. While I personally cannot fathom being addicted the physical aspects of being pregnant I guess I can understand how some women could thrive on the attention a pregnant woman gets. This was an interesting article and opened my eyes to a problem I did not realize existed. I voted this article up.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on February 28, 2013:
You are quite welcome indeed.
schoolboy on February 28, 2013:
I have to say this text have been really informative thanks for writeing it gmwilliams
wisentime on February 25, 2013:
I think that a woman is allowed to have as many children as she likes as long as there is evidence of those children being loved and encouraged to be contributors to mankind. Each situation is different. Some women don't always get pregnant for the right reasons and it's usually obvious. I do believe there are women who have a mental disorder in this area, like Octo-mom. When society sees abuse or neglect it should guide a person in filing a complaint to authorities or family.
I think psychologists need to look at this possible problem and find a way to test for it. That is the only way a woman can be helped and not persecuted which won't help the children.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on November 22, 2012:
You are quite welcome indeed.
Nylrem on November 22, 2012:
Thank you for sharing this information it has clarified alot to me.
kylie on November 18, 2012:
A.Roddy If you read my comment you would have read that I said that the blog appeared insightful but however it then degraded into jugdemental behaviour. This was aimed at all concerned and not directly at the author.
I am aware of what the author said and did agree in my coment that this topic is a real issue for some. My only grugde was that people were behaving in a very jugdemental manner which is very easy to do but not necessarily constructive.
A.Roddy on November 02, 2012:
Kylie@ The author did not say ALL larger families were like this or it was wrong to go past the normal 2-3. What the author did say is it is wrong to keep having children to feed a psychological need and neglect the children. From my view, it seems most I know can not take care of the 2-4 they have.
Tracy09@The author also never said anything about the disorder being limited to a socieconomic class.
I do agree it isn't always the woman wanting babies. I think some men are addicted to pregnant women. They see it a way to put the woman in her alleged place and control her. Some Quiverful/no birth control type women may not want anymore but the men and their church keep pressuring them like Andrea Yates. Rusty insisted on another child inspite of doc's warnings about her mentla instability.
monica on October 12, 2012:
Many women do crave the attention and want you to "ooh and ahh" over them when they become pregnant. I know someone who is currently pregnant with her 5th child with the 4th child just turning 2. She can't financially take care of her current children. She can't be bothered with the other children because basically it's not about the children...it's all about her.
There are those out there that do want large families but I get what you're saying in this article...the focus is not large family...the focus is the woman who wants the focus to be on her and when the focus is not on her...here comes another pregnancy.
kylie on September 28, 2012:
At first glance this would appear to be an insightful vew on a real issue for some people, But reading further it degraded into jugdmental banter that no longer held credibility. There are people out there with this very problem but there are also people out there that just choose to have a large family & cope quite well in doing so.
Just as it is your right to have an opinion and print it for the world to see. It is also peoples right to decide the size of there family. I wonder if the jugdement is for the poor souls afflicted with the disorder in question or for all women that have chosen to have more than the standard 2.1 children?
tracy09 on September 10, 2012:
gmwilliams, intelligent women have mental disorders too! Now if you are just talking about some woman wanting to become pregnant over and over to be in the spotlight or not believing in birth control, that is kinda dumb. If we are talking about a woman with a chemical imbalance in the brain that causes her to not think logically and rationally about having multiple pregnancies over and over in order to satisfy some sickness in the head, well that is not all their fault. Maybe less their fault than when one does drugs for the first time to find out they have an addictive personality that makes them crave the drugs. Most women with this don't get pregnant the first time knowing they are going to have this sick addiction that will need medical treatment to overcome. I am just making a point that it does not matter how smart or unintelligent the woman is with this type of illness. I mean, don't intelligent people get addicted to prescription drugs???
jessica on August 28, 2012:
It's real on July 15, 2012:
This is a real issue, I know of someone that has 3 children all with special needs one with severe health issues and what's the latest.... She plans to be pregnant again in a year! While not all with many kids suffer from a psychological issue there are so,e out there! It's a shame when it happens, particularly in a case where the ability to care for the kids; financially, emotionally etc. is compromised! Very sad!
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on July 05, 2012:
To cherylvanhoorn: Intelligent and thinking women do not have large families. They know that having large families negatively impacts upon their socioeconomic and emotional lives. They further realize that it affects the familial relationship. Thinking women have children they know they can support emotionally, financially, and psychologically. There are many Catholic women who use birth control and disregard the archaic contraceptive teaching of their church. They use reason intelligently, they are not nonthinking automatons who lemming-like follow the Church's teachings and mindlessly reproduce children at will, knowing how detriment this is to them physically and emotionally.
What some Catholic women do is totally incomprehensible and inexcusable. It does not matter what "authority" states regarding your reproductive destiny, YOU, not the church nor any so-called authority, are in charge of your reproductive destiny. You are a thinking human entity, not a lower life form who aimlessly reproduce at will.
Yes, it is the woman's fault when she repeatedly reproduce. Men do not reproduce. When two couples engage in congress, as it is now, women take the main responsibility regarding contraception! Let us face facts. It is woman mindlessly reproduce, it is her fault for not taking the responsibility to use preventives and contraceptives!
cherylvanhoorn from Sydney on July 05, 2012:
I am sorry I was not going to comment but I feel that I have no choice to. While there maybe a grain of truth in this it is a tiny one. One thing that everyone is forgetting is that we have only truly had control as women over the ability to procreate for the last half a century or so. In this case what do we term those women who begat large families due to extreme fertility and without the choice of birth control?
What this piece completely over looks are two things-personal beliefs and church dogma. There is a community out there to which birth control is a sin. For every single catholic this is the case. The edict from on high is that it is not allowed under cannon law. Whilst many women exercise the choice to control their own reproductive rights for some women it is not an option. For them exercising any form of reproductive rights is a mortal sin in the eyes of their relegion. There is no option. The cases of the high profile media cases of women with large families are a case point. Each one of them are devout christians.
It is naïve in the extreme to liken this to Muchausons syndrome, it is a completely different disorder with a completely different pathophysiology. We are genetically engineered to procreate; as in all mamals it is a biological imperative that we are driven to do. I have known women with large amounts of children for many different and varied reasons and have found them to be caring and lovely women who are great mothers. Just because we do not fully understand a person's circumstances and points of view does not mean there is a pathology there and that we need to condemn. Again I say look at the entirety of the circumstances before rushing to pop culture references and blanket assumptions on these women.
Oh and by the way why is it the WOMAN'S fault that there is an excess of reproduction? It takes two to make a baby; is there something pathologically wrong with the male as well or are they dupes of the female just falling in with what the woman wants?
lolzbot on May 20, 2012:
Attention cravers are creepy.
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on October 17, 2011:
To kittythedreamer: This is so true what you have said. That reminded me of an article in THE NEW YORK SUNDAY DAILY NEWS that I have read three and a half decades ago which stated the same thing. Many women constantly get pregnant because they are no outside interests to keep them occupied. They are usually uneducated and have no marketable skills. You presented an excellent point. Thanks for stopping by. Your comments are always welcome!
Kitty Fields from Summerland on October 17, 2011:
I've definitely met women like this...I've also met women who constantly get pregnant to get out of working or doing things for their own family. Sad, really.
Ingenira on September 19, 2011:
I have never met a woman with such psychological needs. An eye-opening issue for me. Interesting hub.
Voted up and tweeted.
Rosmary Smith on September 07, 2011:
I know a women who is on her seventh baby. She has a 5 month old and has just announced that she is 10 weeks.. She surrounds herself with people who run around after her... While I stayed in her house I was constantly in demand from her other children who were desperate for attention and affection. I was seeing her husbands friend who lives with them and when he mentioned the idea of my becoming pregnant though said in jest she immediately set about sabotaging our relationship. I believe because she could not bear sharing the lime light! The babies as you say are a means to gaining attention. She is a very dominant women but her other children are more likely to be shouted at than cuddled, she is not mean exactly but too busy for them.
Her husband this year went and had a baby with another women whom he has now abandoned. She may be on her seventh but he in on his ninth!
I had likened it to Münchhausen myself as the babies are a way of making her the constant centre of attention! Took me ages to find find any reference to this as a disorder on line! I guess women can knock em out one after another and everyone is frightened to say it is anything other than natural! It's not natural to have so many children when you don't have time for the older ones.. How will the baby she has now fare, he will be little over a year when her arms become occupied with the new one! :(
Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on August 03, 2011:
To Amy: Thank you for your response. Many women use pregnancy to seek attention, admiration, and praise. These women have nothing else in their lives and use the idea of being pregnant in order to feel needed and useful. Also, there are such women are feel like stars so they continuously get pregnant to get that rush.
Amy on August 03, 2011:
My sister is in her forties and she's been pregnant 6 times in the last 5 years (2 were miscarriages). Her husband can't hold down a job. Before she had their first child my other sister mentioned that she actually paid his child support a few times for his child from an earlier marriage. She has worked full time throughout all her pregnancies, taking 3 months maternity leave for each one. Her husband "takes care" of the children, although it seems like they're not being taken care of very well. The oldest wasn't toilet trained until he was five years old. I don't know what to make of all of this. She is college educated (notre dame). The only thing I can think it is is that my mother always treated her like everything she did was perfect. I feel like her marrying this deadbeat makes her feel perfect in comparison and maybe all the attention she gets when she's pregnant makes her feel "perfect." It's like she's addicted to praise, even if it's guilt-inspired. Does anyone have any feedback on all of this?
joe on July 29, 2011: