Nicole has a degree in psychology, and is a mom to four young sons. She loves all things art, and enjoys writing about her experiences.
After suffering two miscarriages in a row after the birth of my first child, here I document my journey to a rainbow baby. As you can see, I've been writing in this hub since February, but I'm just now posting it in May 2016. I hope my story will be of some encouragement to others!
February 10, 2016
I just found out on Monday, Feb. 8th that I am pregnant again! I am excited, but very nervous after going through two miscarriages. I'm optimistic and hopeful that the Lord will bless us with a second healthy pregnancy (we have a two-year-old son) and that there will be no complications this time. My pregnancy tests that I took this week showed very faint positive lines, so I am hoping that the lines darken as the weeks go by and my HCG levels keep rising. I recently cut out coffee completely as well as all other forms of caffeine, and am sticking to drinking Dandy Blend instead of coffee every morning. I really like it! To me, it tastes just the same as coffee except without the bitter aftertaste. I also immediately went to Sprouts and bought lots of healthy vegetables and also a Folate supplement to take daily along with my prenatal vitamin. I called my doctor and because of my history and our previous agreement, she filled a prescription for me for 81 mg of low dose aspirin daily along with progesterone suppositories to put in nightly. I started them both as soon as I picked up my prescription yesterday, and I'm really hoping and praying it works! I've read so many success stories of women using them both, so I'm feeling hopeful and trying to stay as positive as possible! So far. no morning sickness, but the smell of melting provolone cheese did make me feel a little queasy and so did the smell of coffee my husband was brewing one morning. Hoping the morning sickness comes on soon, as much as I hate throwing up, since it will be a good sign. Please, Lord, let this one stick! According to the pregnancy app I put on my phone, I am about five weeks along. Only seven weeks to go to get out of the really scary place (1st trimester!)
February 24, 2016
Today is my youngest brother's 18th birthday! Wish I could be with him to celebrate. I sent him a card and I texted him and wrote on his Facebook wall, but that's about all I can do because we live eight hours away.
There's a lot going on right now. The baby is now seven weeks along and I was supposed to have my first ultrasound yesterday, but decided to wait a couple of weeks this time. I'd rather wait until I am 10 or 12 weeks along, rather than disturbing the baby unnecessarily. The last two times, I had the early ultrasounds and then we ended up losing the babies about two weeks later. So I don't want to risk disturbing the baby, even though I had an ultrasound with my son at seven weeks and he was fine. I know they say it is safe, but really, the technology has not been around for all that long if you think about it. Women were giving birth long before ultrasounds existed so I figure I'll just wait, since that's what my husband and I have peace about.
In other news, I've been battling a pretty bad sinus infection for the past week. For the past four days I had horrible sinus headaches. Went to the doctor and she said it was viral and that I don't need to take antibiotics unless I develop a fever. So that's good because I don't really want to take antibiotics if I don't absolutely need to. So, just trying to drink lots of fluids and keep using the sinus rinse that the doctor gave me. I had never used it before yesterday, but I tried it and it helped tremendously!
In worse news, my husband was laid off from his job this past Friday. That's a lot of stress to add to an already stressful situation! He's been applying to lots of jobs and has an interview on Friday, so we are hopeful about that. Hoping and praying he gets a better paying job with better benefits than his previous position. We need it for our family! I also just hope and pray that this baby makes it all the way until delivery. I'm taking special raw prenatals every day along with additional folate and I'm taking a baby aspirin and doing progesterone suppositories every night, and I weaned my two-year-old from breastfeeding.... So I'm really hoping that all these differences will equal a healthy and full-term baby! I'm also avoiding sugary treats, except for last night I ate one cookie since my hubby baked them and he wanted me to try one. Other than that, I have not had a dessert in seven weeks and have barely had any sugar except in syrup on pancakes a couple of times and in salad dressing, and in cranberry juice (and natural sugars in fruits). But trying to avoid it as much as possible. Also trying to eat lots of salads, spinach, broccoli, and even asparagus (which I don't like at all), because they're good fertility foods. I also haven't had a single sip of anything caffeinated. I use Dandy Blend instead of coffee and I actually don't mind very much! It tastes very similar to coffee except without the bitter taste. I do miss coffee but it is totally more than worth it to me to skip it. I also have a totally caffeine free Bengal Spice tea that I've indulged in a couple of times (might have some more tonight). So I'm definitely doing fine on hot beverages. Hopefully my sickness with this sinus issue won't affect the baby.
If the baby is another boy, we are thinking of naming him Samuel. If it is a girl, we are thinking of naming her Molly. I really hope the Lord answers our prayers and gives us our rainbow baby this year!
February 26, 2016
My husband has a job interview today at 10:00 am. I am really hoping and praying that this will be the right opportunity for him and that God will provide for our family through this job. He also has another interview on Tuesday, if this one doesn't work out, so we'll see.
My sinuses feel a lot better. The sinus rinse must have helped a lot. I still feel very tired and fatigued but that could also be partly just the pregnancy.
Things are still going well so far with the new baby. I've been feeling more nauseous in the evenings, which is no fun, but I'm super thankful for it! I feel dizzy and nauseous in the evenings, and nothing sounds good to eat for dinner. I don't feel like eating a big meal like I usually would, so I just try to make little healthy snacks for myself.
"Fuller House" came out last night so I'm excited to watch that on Netflix when I get home, while I eat my dinner. Although I have no idea what I'm going to cook for dinner, haha. I'm thinking about asking my husband to get some ground beef at the store and follow the directions in my slow-cooker cookbook to make meatloaf for us. By the time I get home from babysitting all day, I won't feel like making a big meal (nor will I feel like eating it!) and plus, I won't have much time. I usually get home at 5:30 or 6:00pm. Thankful for a bit of work and income still coming in while my hubby looks for substantial employment.
Right now I'm just enjoying drinking my warm Dandy Blend (coffee substitute) and having a relaxing start to the day. God is good. Trying to stay positive and believe in the Lord for His continued provision and blessing over our lives. I am almost 8 weeks! That means only 4 more weeks till the 1st trimester is over and I can feel more confident and relaxed about everything.
March 4, 2016
So far, so good. I'm still doing my progesterone suppositories every night and trying to eat healthy. I did get a craving for In N Out last night, so I went there, but the burger and fries weren't as satisfying as I was hoping. It was so greasy that I only ate a few bites of the burger and ended up giving all my fries to my father-in-law. Oh well. I've been making healthy smoothies though and eating broccoli and cauliflower and spinach. Plus taking my extra folate and prenatals. Hopefully all of it working together, plus all the prayers, will make for a healthy, full-term baby.
My husband got a job at Carmax. He started this past Tuesday. His hours are crazy now compared to what they used to be. He used to start work really early and then get off early, but now he doesn't start until 10am or 12pm and doesn't get off until 7pm or 9pm! Like today, for example, he is working from 12pm-9pm, yikes! I know he's going to have to adjust big-time to the change in hours. Plus he's working Saturday and Sunday and doesn't get a day off until Monday! I hope he doesn't have to skip church on Sunday because that will be really sad to have to go without him. Hopefully it's only temporary and he can start having Sundays off once he's finished with his training and starts the actual selling part. On Monday I'm hoping we can all go see the new movie Zootopia with our movie gift cards, since the trailer looked cute and he will have the day off (and so will I).
Trying to continue to trust the Lord as much as I can during this whole process and just get through these first few weeks of pregnancy. I think I will feel much more settled once I get to the 2nd trimester. We've told a few friends and people at church, but not everyone yet. I will be 9 weeks on Sunday. Every day I pray over my womb, that God will bless the baby and allow him or her to grow healthy and be born full-term, and live with us on the earth. I almost don't dare to say such things, but I'm looking forward to my son being a big brother. I know he will be a great one.
March 9, 2016
Hi there. Been feeling very exhausted lately. I am now in week 9 of my pregnancy. Hoping and praying this is our rainbow baby. I'm almost afraid to type that, for fear of it not working out. Nothing sounds very good to eat lately, and then when I do eat it, it feels like it doesn't really satisfy me. It's so weird. I go throughout my day just feeling really weird. Very tired, lethargic and without energy. I just want to lay down and sleep all day but I can't because I have to watch my son (and a couple other little kids who I babysit for 2 days a week). So I try to force myself to do things like wash dishes, make meals, fold laundry and put it away, etc, because I feel as though I barely have any energy to do anything.
My husband hasn't gotten paid yet from working at his new job. He gets paid next Friday and I can't wait because we need the money. We're also supposed to get our tax return soon, which is now unfortunately going to be used toward fixing my van. The transmission decided to go out on us the other night. So we had it towed to the repair shop the next day, and I will be without a car for the rest of this week. I'm glad that at least my hubby was with me when it broke down. Just sad that we have to use our tax return to pay for the repairs because that's going to be over $3,000.
March 25, 2016
We had our first ultrasound on Tuesday, and everything looks great! Such a relief! We got to see the baby moving around a lot, and see the little heartbeat flickering. He or she has tiny little arms and legs already and you can see the little profile of the head and face, a tiny nose, etc. The technician said the baby's heartbeat is strong at 161 beats per minute, so that's good! She said I was measuring 10 weeks, which was actually a week behind what I thought I was, but that's okay. She said that since my cycles are irregular, that was probably why.
My appointment to see my doctor is on Thursday, April 7th, so I'll find out then when my due date is. But my husband and I calculated it on an app and it was October 15th according to that. That's good because my son's birthday is in November, so at least the birthdays will be spread out a bit. I'm just so happy that things seem to be going well. Just praying that the baby continues to grow in a good and healthy way and that God protects my womb and allows the baby to be born full term, with no complications. I'm already starting to show now.
At 18 weeks, they do the ultrasound where they check all the baby's organs and also reveal the gender. I'm really excited to find out if the baby is a boy or a girl! Of course, either way, I will just be thankful as long as the baby is healthy. If the baby is a boy, I really want to name his middle name after my dad, to honor him. I think he would like that. We want to name his first name Samuel because of the story in the Bible and the special meaning it has. (Samuel's mother, Hannah, prayed for a baby and God gave her Samuel and he was dedicated to the Lord his whole life and became a very important prophet, who heard God's voice.) If it's a girl, we have a name picked out already, too. Can't wait for the next 8 weeks to go by! Hopefully all will continue to go well.
April 6, 2016
I am now 12 weeks, 4 days pregnant. Tomorrow is my first appointment with my doctor (my last appointment was just with the ultrasound tech). I'm anxious to hear the baby's heartbeat. Hopefully everything is still going well and the baby is developing normally. I have been taking my prenatal vitamins and extra folate daily. I've stopped taking the progesterone and baby aspirin now. I still don't drink any coffee or caffeine at all, although I do allow myself to have chocolate sometimes, but I limit my intake of it because of the small amount of caffeine in chocolate. The first few weeks, I was eating absolutely no sugar (except fruit sugars) and was gluten-free, but I found the gluten-free thing to be very difficult, especially when my hubby lost his job and I didn't want to pay extra for gluten-free foods (although I found an Amy's gluten-free lasagna that was amazing! But it cost $5.00 and was very small). So anyway, so far, so good... Just praying every day that things continue to go well. I still feel queasy in the evenings at around 5pm or 6pm sometimes. At times I have to eat an altoid mint really fast to avoid vomiting, or eat some ginger candy. The other night, I ate Chinese food at my in-law's house because hubby was working late and I didn't want to be alone with just our son (we had been playing together all day prior to that, but I was getting lonely). So anyway, after I came home I re-heated my leftovers for hubby to eat, and the smell of that food made me nauseous, even though I just ate the same thing a few hours earlier! I ended up vomiting some of it up, which our sweet son thinks is hilarious... for some reason, seeing Mommy hunched over the toilet and vomiting is a riot to him! Even though its not a fun feeling, I'm so thankful to have morning sickness because that lets me know that everything with the baby is probably still OK. Excited but anxious to go to my appointment with the doctor tomorrow and see how everything is going.
Also, I really want to visit my parents and brothers before I get too far along in my pregnancy. Next month is my 31st birthday, but I would like to go before that (and visit them for my birthday as well). I haven't seen my parents since my great aunt's funeral a couple of months ago (in January, I think?) when they came down here, and that was only for a couple of days. So I'd like to be able to visit them soon, but I don't know when I can with work, and with hubby not having weekends off anymore I might have to go by myself, with just me and our son, which I'm kinda nervous about doing. So... we shall see.
April 8, 2016
So my doctor's appointment went very well! I'm SO happy and relieved. I heard the baby's heartbeat and the doctor said it sounds normal. Whew! I found out my days were a little off and that I was actually 12 weeks, 6 days along. So now I am 13 weeks today. So exciting! In 5 more weeks, we get to find out if the baby is a boy or a girl! We get to find out on May 19, right before my 31st birthday (my birthday is on the 22nd). Needless to say, I am very happy and excited about that! My doctor said that my due date is October 14, 2016. So that's only one day off from what we thought. My mom's birthday month is October, so I guess that will be a nice present for her, another grandbaby! I am just praising God and thanking Him so much for this precious gift, and praying that the baby continues to grow healthy and strong.
April 15, 2016
Hi there. I am 14 weeks today! So excited to be at this point and doing well. Hubby says we should go out to dinner tonight to celebrate. We might, since he also just got paid today. I've still been taking my extra folate every day and my multivitamins. The doctor said last time that it was fine that I stopped the baby aspirin and progesterone.
Just recently I went to a baby shower, and saw a friend I hadn't seen in a while. She has a 4-year-old daughter, but had 5 miscarriages after that. I had been praying (as had a lot of others!) that God would bless her with another healthy baby, as she desperately wanted a sibling for her daughter. Well, at the baby shower I told her I was pregnant and she let me know that she was 15 weeks pregnant as well! She is about two weeks ahead of me. I am soooo excited and happy for her! I was almost ready to cry! So thankful to God for His incredible grace. Lots of other gals at the baby shower were pregnant, and the friend we were all there for is pregnant with twins!! She is such a sweetheart and has had lots of losses herself as well, so we're all very excited for her.
My husband's cousin's wife, who I am pretty close with, is pregnant with another son (they have a 3-year-old already, I don't know if I mentioned it here yet or not). Her due date is June 4th. So our babies will be about 4 and a half months apart (since she's due at the beginning of June and I'm due October 14th). So that's pretty cool.
Everyone is really excited to find out if it's a boy or a girl. I'm kinda thinking maybe it's a girl, because this pregnancy has been so different than my pregnancy with my son. For example, I can eat salsa without a problem and I can eat red tomato sauce (although in the beginning I did get a little nauseous from it after I ate it, but I never really vomited). Also, my nausea has been mostly at night with this pregnancy, versus with my son I would throw up more in the mornings. I also couldn't have any salsa or tomato sauce in the first trimester, and I craved sour things, hence an obsession I had with Sour Patch Kids gummy candy. I don't crave sour this time around. I also ate lots of PB & J sandwiches when I was pregnant with my son, and this time around I don't really do that. Interesting. So we'll see, but they do say every pregnancy is different, so maybe it all doesn't mean I'm having a girl. Whether it's a girl or a boy, we will just be so blessed to have another healthy baby! Only one month and 4 days until we find out the gender!
May 6, 2016
Hi there! I haven't written a blog post here in a while. Today I am 17 weeks along! The nausea is completely gone and now I just feel hungry all the time (and a little dizzy if I stand up too fast).
Things have been pretty busy, I guess. Mother's Day is this weekend, which will be nice. My mom sent me a really sweet card. I wanted to surprise my mom and go visit her for Mother's Day, but she and my dad are dealing with a lot right now and my dad said it wasn't the best time. So I'm hoping we'll be able to drive up and see my parents at the end of the month instead. My birthday is coming up too, on May 22nd. I'll be 31 years old, yikes! Getting up there. Hahaha, still not too bad though... I've got a few good years left, I think ;)
I'm excited but also nervous because our next ultrasound is coming up on May 19th. We will get to find out if the baby is a boy or a girl. I'm nervous because I haven't heard the heartbeat in a long time. But I haven't had any signs of trouble or anything, so I'm hoping to hear a strong heartbeat and that we'll be able to see the baby clearly and be able to tell the gender pretty easily. The next couple of weeks really can't go by fast enough!
I'm starting to show a lot more now, and have started wearing my old maternity clothes from the last time. I bought a pair of maternity shorts too, but I need to get a pair of maternity pants that don't look totally lame (some of the maternity clothes out there are just not very flattering). There's a local maternity shop that I've been wanting to check out. I also don't want to spend too much money though. Right now I'm wearing one of my only long sleeve maternity shirts, since it's raining today. I'm also wearing a pair of jeans I wore toward the end of my pregnancy with my son, and they're really big on me... but my other jeans are way too small now. So as you can see, I really need some actual maternity jeans. Haha.
I'm so thankful that God has allowed this pregnancy to go smoothly and that it looks like we will be welcoming our rainbow baby in October. I still feel a little bit anxious to even type such statements, but at the same time I'm trying to just be thankful and trust God, knowing that He is working everything out according to His will. I'm just so excited to see whether we're having another boy or a little girl. Will definitely keep you posted! Either way, I really want to purchase the onesie pictured above (or something similar) for our sweet little bundle when he or she arrives.
May 13, 2016
Yesterday I went to the doctor because I realized I had missed an earlier appointment this month that I forgot about. So yesterday afternoon, they were able to get me in and I went to see the physician's assistant. I was feeling really nervous about the health of the baby, because I hadn't heard the heartbeat in a long time. But yesterday, she said the heartbeat is strong and that the baby was moving around a ton! I'm so relieved. Still looking forward to doing the next ultrasound next week! Only 6 days left until we find out if the baby is a boy or a girl -- wow!
May 20, 2016
We found out yesterday that it is a BOY!!! Another boy for our growing family. We are all excited. We did a little surprise gender reveal for my "in-loves" (in-laws) last night, where I had put blue balloons inside a big box, and when they opened the box they knew it was going to be another boy :) I also got blue frosted cupcakes specially made and brought them over :) Our son enjoyed the cupcake the most, I think, haha. He had been wanting one all day. I don't think he understands yet that he's going to be a big brother. I guess he'll find out soon enough! Now, between our sons and our cousin's two sons, there are going to be a lot of boys running around! Apparently we ARE a family of boys, haha! I'm really excited to name the baby's middle name after my dad. I told him and he said that was nice but that he "won't hold me to it". Haha. He is sweet. But I'm not going to change my mind on this one!