Sabrina loves to write about love, life, and everything in-between in a candid yet humorous approach.
Being an empath can be both a blessing and a curse. Unless you are one yourself, it is hard to fully understand all that it entails. Try to imagine that every room that you walk into you can instantly feel the energy whether that is positive or negative. Large crowds are especially difficult since the capacity of that energy is magnified. This can feel overwhelming and even suffocating to the extent that you feel you must vacate the premises in order to gather yourself and return to balance. As an empath, from the time you were a child you always felt you were different. You were probably a loner and preferred to spend more time by yourself rather than socializing. You always felt everything so very deeply and wondered why everyone else just didn’t seem to care as much as you did. If any of these things sound familiar to you, you just might be an empath yourself.
Part of being an empath is being highly sensitive and intuitive. You are basically an “emotional sponge.” You care and you care a lot. There’s no way you can turn that off. You always wonder how people live the way they do without any regards to others’ feelings when it seems that all you do is care about other people. Empaths are not selfish by any means. They care way more about other people’s feelings than their own. They also try not to hurt others’ feelings or cause any type of problems in the world around them. Intuition is another aspect of an empath that comes to us naturally. We aren’t psychics by any means, but sometimes it feels like we are. When meeting people for the first time, we can tell immediately whether they are positive or negative. Whether we choose to listen to our intuition or not is another story. Sometimes we like to give people a chance even though we know in the back of our mind that it is not a good idea. We are not perfect by any means nor do we try to be. In fact, it makes our lives more complicated when what we want and what we feel are two different things. In spite of our intuition, sometimes we still choose to make the wrong choice and that’s something we have to live with.
Another unique quality of an empath is that they can not only feel the energy of people but of places as well. From the time I was a young child, I could always feel the energy of any place as soon as I walked in. I didn’t know exactly what that meant, but I knew that certain places made me feel really sad and empty inside, while in others I would feel joy and happiness just from simply entering. The size of the house or the neighborhood it was in had no effect on whether it had positive or negative energy. The nicest house in the best neighborhood could have the worst negative energy while a mobile home in an average part of town could have positive energy and make me feel peaceful inside. This made visiting friends’ houses in high school especially interesting. At the time, I didn’t know what an empath was or that I was one so it was particularly confusing to separate my feelings about the energy of a friend’s house from the friend themselves. In my teenage mind it made no sense that I wasn’t happy at a good friend’s house while I loved spending time with that friend in general. In the end, I would try to hang out with that friend in other places because I realized I could never fully feel at peace at their place. Don’t get me started on haunted places. Those make an empath feel a certain type of way to say the least.
Dating as an empath is also a very different experience than what most people have. Most people have to go on a few dates with a person before they decide whether to date them or not. I know in the first few minutes of a meeting a new person whether or not I want to continue seeing them. As an empath you immediately feel the energy of the people you meet so there’s no way of hiding that. When I was younger, I would constantly date people I knew were wrong for me because I had not learned to listen to my intuition yet. In the back of my mind, I would always have that nagging voice that lets you know what you are doing is wrong. Inevitably I wasn’t too surprised when those relationships didn’t work out. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve tried to listen to myself more when it comes to dating. I know that if I don’t listen I’ll just end up wasting my time and regretting my decisions in the end. There’s just no way around it.
Making friends as an adult and an empath is also an interesting experience. Right away I can feel the positive or negative energy from every person I meet. Some people fall somewhere in the middle of that spectrum. They are the type of people who are neither positive nor negative but just don’t care much either way. I don’t particularly like to have people like that as friends either because I can’t relate to someone who doesn’t care enough when I care too much. It just doesn’t make sense for me to become close to someone like that. I can also tell when a person is being fake friendly and I can see right through that. Sometimes, no matter how much I may try to like a person, in the end I just can’t do it and I can’t force myself to. Something inside of them just repels me and I just don’t want anything to do with them no matter how much I try. Lying to an empath is also never a good idea because we see right through you. I know exactly when people are lying to me and it’s especially hard when I already know the truth and they are still standing there lying to my face. As a general rule, if an empath asks you something be honest, because more than likely they already know the truth and you will make yourself look even worse if you keep lying to their face.
Empaths always choose quality over quantity when it comes to friends and relationships because they would rather be alone than around negative energy on a regular basis. If you felt the energy and emotions of every person around you at all times, you would also be picky about who you let into your inner circle. Empaths are also the perfect candidates for anxiety and panic disorders because we feel everything so very deeply. Sometimes the surrounding energy can be so negative and overwhelming that it may even cause an anxiety or panic attack in an empath. Most empaths outgrow such attacks with age and time. As they become older, they become more attuned to themselves and start to understand their abilities better. As an empath it is the goal to become strong enough mentally to be able to learn to block out the negative energy when we are out socially in public. This usually takes place when an empath is in their mid to late twenties, sometimes even into their thirties. Every empath’s journey is different.
As an empath, everyday is different. Sometimes we feel very strong mentally and those are the days we feel like going out socially and spending time with people in public. Even going to a crowded place like Wal-Mart doesn’t feel like a big deal because we feel like we are powerful enough to overcome anything on that particular day. This is usually when we are in a good mood and feel especially positive and happy. On other days that we feel low and our mood is down in the dumps, we tend to isolate ourselves until we feel strong enough to venture out into the world again. Going out into the crowded places on the days we feel low is not advisable because it will only make us feel even lower and weaker. These are the days when we should work on ourselves, recharge our inner batteries, and provide “self-care.” These are the days when we should also watch the types of music we listen to and movies, shows, or videos we watch. Since we are feeling particularly sensitive and low, those can either lift our spirits or drag us further down.
If you are an empath, you belong to a small and elite group of people, 15% to 20% of the world population to be exact. If you are not an empath, there’s nothing to be envious about, we didn’t choose this gift and some of us would gladly give it away just so we could be normal like the rest of you. The benefits of being an empath can be great, but the drawbacks are just as detrimental. After struggling and feeling like an outcast for most of your life, it takes you years to fully understand and embrace what you really are. It takes a lot of time to accept the fact that other people don’t care as much as you do and really be all right with it. For the longest time, it really gets under your skin that others aren’t as sensitive and enlightened as you. Sometimes you might even be jealous that you can’t be careless and turn off your feelings so you can sleep well at night. All I can say is be patient with yourself and take it one day at a time. Remember you have the power to choose who you surround yourself with which in turn gives you the power to control the energy around you.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2020 GreenEyes1607