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If You Ain’t First, You’re Last - Pt. 2

Katie doesn’t have any experience with this topic—that’s why she’s opening up to all of you in hopes of learning more!


My last article makes me laugh a little. As a soon as I transitioned out of “the beginnings” of my blog, I cut my sentences and thoughts short and ended the piece. I ended my last piece encouraging us to enjoy the unfinished, messiness that can be the beginning.

But that can also be the middle and end.

I still say I enjoy the beginnings, but after thinking more and talking with some of you, I think I should dive in deeper to the good, and bad I’m sure, that come from beginnings, middles, and ends.

I have been amazed and appalled at the creative process my whole life.

This already feels vague and big. It feels hard to talk about because it’s abstract. And not always linear. Sometimes you know how you want something to end but no idea how to start it.

I’ve paused 3 times now trying to write this. I don’t know where to go. Because, like I found in the ‘beginning’, there are so many different options. And none of them are wrong.

That’s where I have the hardest time. Trying to make a definitive statement on a process that is infinitely changing and evolving seems impossible. I don’t want to rule out an option I haven’t thought of, yet I’m getting to the point in my personal processes (whether that be creative or not) where I need to have more boundaries. I need to start figuring out MY way and while allowing room for change and growth, I should be more mindful of what is changing and growing, instead of just letting ALL the ideas take over.

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This blog feels messy, unfinished, and raw. Maybe that’s not just qualities of ‘beginnings’ but of all stages, honestly.

Maybe the performative stage isn’t about the creation at all. It’s about how we put it out there.

Creation happens every day even if we don’t mean to create. I think that’s it. These stages, sections, and processes have never been about the thing I was making, it’s always been about me. That sounds selfish but as a human, I am selfish. And art is not. The existence of art is inevitable. (You know those bumper sticker that read eARTh?)

I think I’ll start phrasing “The Creative Process” as “My Process While Creating.”

As far as beginnings, middles, and ends are concerned—it’s all messy and unfinished.

And I’ll probably contradict myself and change my mind about all of this several more times.

Today’s article feels 3 months into rehearsing a new dance piece and I have a section in the middle that’s still a hole…

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