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A Booger and Nose Tale (a Comic Relief)

Sudha madhuri dash is a published author of many novels. Along with photography she loves horse riding and practices odissi dance.


My nose is mine

Yours is yours

what I smell, do or dig

is my business

and only I have the right to do

As I please.

What about you ?

The edge part of your face that you can see when you look at cross angles and it has two large holes that are full of hair is defined as the nose. It is the most important part of your face, insured at billions of dollars like Michael Jackson’s or the famous nose of Cleopatra that everyone wants nowadays. My personal favorite is Pinocchio’s nose that can grow longer at the drop of a lie, or the moment you tell a truth it become shorter. that is a versatile working nose. I have trained myself to think like my nose does.

Now nose hair has another function too.

The nose helps us to breathe as well snort like a bison when angry. I always prefer men with a lot of nose hair, I feel they breathe the cleanest air on the planet. Their lungs too are in peak condition. You call such men 'long race horse'. I heard that latest spas shave off nose hair along with pubic hair, anus hair, crotch hair and arm pit hair. Hair is hair, how does it matter where it comes from. Wigs from human hair is a booming business. With people going bald, spas must be adding to their earnings. Nose hair can be used to make toupees for men or side bangs for balding ladies. Nose hair can also be used to make fine Hitler mustaches for fierce men.

Now nose hair has another function too. It traps boogers and that protects our lungs. Now this one time my boss was giving an important presentation and as he breathed in and out, I could see something white coming out as he breathed out and then going in as he breathed in. we all sat there in attentive silence, our eyes watching his nose with the keenness a fox. We all had one thought, his booger. When suddenly he stopped and looked straight at me said, 'pack your things you are leaving.'

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I was shocked the booger had got all my attention, I had no idea where I was supposed to go and do what?

The booger got me fired.

I was desperate to get home

I was desperate to get home

This one time I could hardly wait to get home. My fingers were itching to reach my nose. I parked the car and ran into the house and straight into the bathroom. What a relief, I felt taking that little fellow out of my nose, I let out a grunt of relief. I heard a knock on the door and heard my four year saying, “mummy got the loosies again." The room full of neighbours went silent. I too fell silent inside the bathroom, the booger had got me again.

People often leave their boogers in their wills

People often have a tendency of leaving their boogers in strange places for others to find them. In way they are leaving behind a legacy for others. Children in school stick it under their desks. While often adults stick to the underside of their bed or chair. My experience has been quite colourfull.

royals and royalties’ also give off special royal boogers

I suppose royals and royalties’ also give off special royal boogers. Since they are royals they I suppose follow certain ten pointers rules.

  1. No boogers to be dug in public
  2. If the nose tickles then sniff delicately and wipe nose edge with powder-white, lace-edged hanky.
  3. If royal children are seen digging out their boogers then royal ladies are to go down on their hunches in their six inch high heels and wave a gentle fore-finger to stop the action. All the while smiling and giving two short wave to the curious public after one has got up, with the royal baby on the hip and balancing on their heels of royal six inches.
  4. Royal boogers need to be left in special packages so that they can be destroyed otherwise the chances of their country being exploited for the sake of the booger is an eminent danger.
  5. All new brides to the royal families are expected to carry lots of lace edged napkins.
  6. Royal ladies who are older and twice married before to other men can dig their nose and wipe their fingers on their riding breeches or saddle cloth.
  7. When royals want to dig their nose a change of guards takes place so that the public attention is diverted.

Every citizen of northern country is loyal to its country and ruler.

Every citizen of Northern country is loyal to its country and ruler.hence as per the rules of the country all citizens will get up at dawn and while the world sleeps the boogers are collected and sent to various restaurants. They are used to make birds nest soup and for tempering their sushi. Glass noodles look glassier due to smartens of boogers in them. The nature always finds a way to grow and prosper.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2022 sudha madhuri dash

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