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How To Deal With Gaslighting Behavior

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Grace has been experiencing the issue and would like to share some of her experiences

The Mind Of A Manipulator Is Scary. There Are Questions That They Can't Answer

The colors that you've painted in me

The colors that you've painted in me

Don’t Answer The Question They’ve Asked.

You must have found yourself where you think you’re right and you can’t wait to prove the other person is wrong. There are times where this method will work but this time, not with a
manipulator. Manipulators are very good at twisting your words and making you look like you’re the bad person here. When you ask a manipulator a question one can’t seem to answer, they will try to buy some time and deflect the question by asking you a question back.

It’s a common tactic of manipulation. What you must do is never answer the question. Don’t let the manipulator gets one’s way. Instead try to proceed with your thoughts. Tell that person what wrong exactly has the manipulator been doing.

When you try to get your point across, never speak to fast. Make sure the point is well organized in your head as to buy people on your side. To make sure people buy your story and support you. Don’t waste your time answering the manipulator question. It will only give that person a way to put you down

Don’t Give Them Arguments

When arguing with a manipulator, it’s important to note that you don’t give that person an argument that can be used against you. Make sure all of your points are beneficial to you only.

Do not bring a third person as an argument to prove you’re right. Manipulator will use that third person against you to prove you’re wrong.Never give your side of the story that will make the manipulator argues against you.

I’ll give you an example. For example, when Joe is proving that her husband is cheating on her, she should tell her husband that, he didn’t come last night, he didn’t pick up the call.

Her husband as always will tell her that she is overreacting to small things. And then Joe gets emotional and starts to fire back, she told him, “you’re the emotional one here, you walk away every time we have an argument, you didn’t speak to me about your feelings”.

Now this gives the manipulator an argument to argue. With the information that was given to him, he could easily say “that’s because you’re the emotional one. I can’t handle your unstable mind.

My feelings are none of your business”. As we can see, the manipulator can give you an argument based on the words that you’ve say so from Joe wanting to prove her husband infidelity, her husband managed to make her angry so she lost her point. The argument can last for hours because Joe keeps giving him arguments to be used against her.

Stay calm, say things briefly and leave.

It is important to stay calm when arguing with a manipulator. When you’re arguing with someone especially with a manipulator, you have to stay calm otherwise other people will see you as the emotional one and that will exactly prove the manipulator’s point.

Other people will say “oh hey look, calm down. she is right about you. you need to be more rational”. If you keep getting angrier, it will give the manipulator a plenty of time to win the heart of the crowd.

Winning the heart of the crowd is almost equal to winning in an argument. The one who determines who win is actually the crowd. Deliver your points, explain why you think the manipulator’s point is wrong. It is not recommended to always explain your point because the manipulator will definitely find a hole in your explanation.

He will use your words to prove you’re wrong. Instead, focus your time on proving that his points are wrong. The crowd will see that you have points and will be at your side.

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The color that you've painted in me

Look at the colors that you've painted in me. Makes me silly, makes me mad, makes me ugly

— Anonymous

Be Blunt

It is very important to be blunt when delivering your points. Don’t use sarcasm or any type of languages that will definitely make your points less valuable. It will make other people think “hey she is so annoying, she is making this a big deal, she always does”.

I absolutely not recommend using sarcasm to convey your points. Other people will be annoyed and it will give the manipulator a reason to argue with you. The manipulator can say “see, this is what she does” to try to win the public opinions. Remember, the one that determines who wins an argument is and has always been the public.

Try your very best to be blunt but stay calm. Explain to the manipulator as well as the public about why one’s actions are so wrong. provide evidence. When providing evidences, make sure that when you convey them, you have no doubts.

A clear example is “last night, I saw my husband walking with another girl. He didn’t tell me where he was going. I called him to see if he could pick up but he purposely turned off his phone in front of the girl and continue to walk with her. He’s a cheater”.

When he tried to gaslight her by stating “what you were doing there at night? So all this time you’ve been stalking me? wow!”.

Be blunt as possible by saying “you were afraid that I could caught you so you ran away from home, spends time with a girl behind my back. You turned off your phone so I couldn’t know where you are. You’re a liar”.

That will give the manipulator a dead end but what if she
responded “of course I have been following you, you’re rarely available, you’re always busy. I want to make sure that you’re doing what you’re saying you’re doing”.

Now this argument will give the manipulator, plenty of time to strike back. Now he can say “Now you have an attitude. You need therapy. You always want to trap me. I have to turn off the phone. Seriously, I can’t even hang out with friends? I need time to breathe!”. Never falls in a position where you have to defend your point. Always be in a position where you attack the other person’s point.

Best way to deal with a manipulator

This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.

© 2022 Grace

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