Learning to be comfortable alone is the best way to nurture self-validation and self-love. These virtues are your super power!
Why you feel alone
Feeling alone happens to the best of us. You can be surrounded by friends and family who love you but still feel alone. Loneliness occurs when you decide to act out of feeling alone. At this state, you isolate yourself and push people away.
I am not a stranger to feeling alone and being lonely. If you are like me you probably feel like an outsider everywhere you go. You relate to people deeply but you feel like they relate to you on a surface level. So you talk about the pleasantries while protecting yourself from being too much. If you are lucky, you have a handful of people or that one person that you can tell everything. But even that person seems tired of you some days. They are not always into what you need because they are probably handling their own.
If you find yourself feeling this way then you my friend have a superpower!
The problem of feeling this way is that most people end up creating codependent attachments to survive. They end up selling themselves short to escape the fact that they feel so alone. Such comes from instant gratification patterns. It’s like an addict looking to fulfill their next high.
Lastly, people who attach their sense of fulfillment to people end up being the simps of the world. They beg the beautiful girls to like them. They do too much to get validated. They never get that dream job or the deal that they desire because they stink of low confidence.
Why feeling alone is a super power!
Feeling alone has a superpower because what can endure the most pain can also enjoy the most pleasure. Your superpower is your well-developed sensors that see and feel everything. You just don’t know it yet.
When you find yourself feeling alone and being lonely it’s time to leverage these feelings. This is the time to do the reps to help you develop self-confidence and self-validation habits.
Your loneliness feeling emanates from not seeing familiar or simialr projections of self. You were probably raised in a violent environment or other numerous adversities that messed you up. So you feel different and what you show people is the rehearsed parts of you. The real you craves to come up but you have it bottled up unless someone else validates you.
Your superpower is to appoint yourself as the chief executive validator of yourself. This is a guaranteed game changer! In this state, you accept yourself for who you are. It’s like taking the initiative to control your emotions and reactions at all times. When people project their disapproval of you you will be able to respect their opinions but at the same time be detached from them because you are the chief executive validator of yourself!
The first step to accomplish this is;
This life is not for the weak. If you want different you have got to act differently. The things that happened to you don’t have to be your life sentence. You have got to accept that it hurts and it was so messed up that some things have happened to you. However, It is your responsibility to be accountable for yourself. So accepting you feel alone and going deep down to accept how you feel is the beginning of turning your greatest pains into your greatest pleasures.
The next step is to move with the intention
Being alone is an art and a science. I am kidding, it's not that deep.
After accepting your situation you can now identify the patterns and triggers.
What makes you feel such low confidence?
Is it negative self-talk? What is the origin of your negative self-talk? Is it from your upbringing?
Have you adopted negative self-talk as a coping mechanism?
If it’s from your upbringing why keep up the trend that hurts you?
What can you do to improve your self-confidence?
Seriously, what can you do to improve your self-confidence?
You can adopt morning positive affirmations for 21 days for it to become a behavior.
Also, you can get into a quest to figure out your life’s purpose.
This brings us to the next step
The quest to find your life's purpose.
Everyone is on earth for a reason. Whether it’s good or bad everyone contributes. When you choose to be alone you are choosing to be a visitor of the earth as opposed to a member.
I know life sucks and you would prefer to be left alone but what’s the joy in that?
Maybe you are not into joy but you keep waking up so you might as well make it count.
Figuring out your purpose allows you to focus your attention on service and creativity.
When you are on your purpose then you are focused on self-improvement. This means you are elevated at all times. You are too busy to care who likes you and who doesn’t. This way you are not giving off needy energy and you are giving space for people to freely interact with you.
Stepping into your purpose allows you to share your ideas and your authentic energy print. This allows you to receive the same in your experience; thus you are never really alone. Moreover, you will attract people of similar frequency .Therefore; this strategy will guarantee true friendships and connections.
You are never really alone you know. Look around you; the beauty of nature surrounds you, you have neighbors, you have social media connections, you have a pet, you have yourself. Learn to appreciate the small things. Be thankful for what you have and this will enable you to attract more things to be grateful about.
Fight the blues
Learning to be comfortable alone can be a challenging experience. Once you have set the intentions to be comfortably by your lonesome you will be tested. They are days that you will feel like slipping back into your old beliefs. There is a time when the patterns you are trying to overcome will test you. They will speak against you during your affirmations. You will be told you have changed. The imposter syndrome will begin to kick in. Regardless of how you feel keep going. Be resilient in your resolution. You are free to change and adapt new behaviors that make you happy and fulfilled. People who truly cared about you will be willing to learn the new you and be supportive.
Learning to be comfortable alone can reward you with an unimaginable peace of mind. Moreover, no one can really make you happy. The trick is to learn how to make yourself happy then to share the found happiness. The truth about this world is that you have to learn to be the master of your fate. Everyone has a unique energy print; thus, understanding how you interact with it and how you affect the collective is imperative.
There is a saying that says that you teach others how to treat you. Therefore; you must be your first friend. When you achieve being alone and comfortable with yourself then you are permitting others to be comfortable around you.
When you find yourself alone and feeling lonely, it does not have to be a bad thing. Learning to be alone results in freedom and character. This is the best way to nurture self-validation and self-love. No one and nothing can make a break you when you have the last say in your life. And this my friend is a superpower!