Sagar is a writer by hobby, having an interest in human psychology and trying to help people understand the basic concepts of living life.
Can you stay happy, being alone?
If your answer is yes, then you can be happy with being everyone too, isn't it?
Let me clarify it, by being lonely I mean you are with no person, no objects, nothing. What's happening is, we are getting connecting with the world, with our mobile but getting alone psychologically. We have all the smileys in our keypad, to show off that we are happy externally, but is it the scenario, No.
Deep within we are getting lonely day by day, maybe because real connections are missing. We are scared of being lonely because our mind is programmed to lean towards negative thoughts. Think of a task practically, if I tell you to sit somewhere alone for an hour without any mobile, without any person, all alone, What will happen?
Won't your mind find excuses to run away from there? Won't you start feeling uncomfortable? You will start remembering the tasks that are not even important. What does this mean?
You can't even spend an hour with yourself. Think of how boring you are for yourself.
The point is what if, you are not getting bored with yourself, which means you have something interesting in you. Just imagine, if you are being lonely and your thoughts are powerfully entertaining, you are smiling because of your thoughts, wouldn't it be amazing?
We have become so restless that we always need something to spend our time with. Aren't we becoming slaves of things? If yes, then what is the solution?
In this article, I will try to chase the root of why we are uncomfortable with ourselves. I will try to make you understand that you are complete with yourself. You don't need someone to complete you. You don't need anyone to make you happy, you can be happy with yourself. Let the world make a connection with you.
Solitude and Loneliness
Let me clarify these terms first. Loneliness is a negative term, which means there is something missing in our life. Whereas Solitude is a positive term, a state of mind, when we are fulfilled... being alone.
In the state of solitude, we get connected to what's around us, not with the mess going inside our mind. We are already connected to nature, to our environment, but still, we try hard to get mix in. To the tree, to the flower, to the person around you, you are connected to everything. When you believe this "You are happy", and this connection is called Union.
To those who feel they are cut from everything, that's loneliness. I am trying hard to being with the other person, who is not even interested in me. Everyone is showing off their lives, no one is better than me, isn't this all fake. Loneliness leads to possessiveness. In this state, if you find someone to talk to, will you let them go easily? No.
When you believe the truth that you are completely connected with everything, you'll get connected to yourself within. You will be completely safe, completely secure, absolutely stable and this will lead to a strong mentality. You will not get affected by the presence of anyone or by the absence of anyone. When you believe this truth, I assure you, no one will ever leave you.
Can Solitude stay permanently?
Let's try to understand how to achieve solitude. You need to deeply realize two things, firstly, the way my life is going on, I need to change it, to realize that I am suffering and I need to get rid of this.
Secondly, you need to pay attention to the very fact that you simply aren't alone, you have an association with the universe. Go sit in the rains and watch how clouds get formed, enjoy the beautiful sceneries around you. This way you'll be doing the meditation 24*7.
Whatever you do, do it with attention, do it with awareness. This is the beginning of solitude.
Believe the fact that everything is temporary. Even your own body changes itself over time. Try to see things changing, moving and follow them, you'll feel there is no pattern to how you feel them. You'll have some insights wherever you go, wherever you relax.
Stop seeing other persons with your point of view, because if you leave judging people from your point of view, you'll love everyone around you. Leave social media for a while, where you see everyone and feel they are virtually happy and not you are. Spend some alone time with nature, with the surroundings, with the mountains, absorb the powerful energy it provides you, feel the cool breeze on your face.
Some useful Ways to attain State of Solitude for Happiness
"There is no such sense of solitude as that which we experience upon the silent and vast elevations of the huge mountains", a quote by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu. Give lesser importance to every thought inside your mind( be it positive or negative).
Start taking your life lightly.
Stop being entangled in your beliefs.
Change your sense of understanding complex things based on your beliefs. It is completely okay to make such topics funny for yourself, the best way to calm down your inner self.
Get a pen and paper, write everything on it that makes you happy, and try to do those things next time you make your alone time.
Volunteer for services, you can provide to societies to improve the societies.
Join NGO's and work with them for society and self-development.
Be free from the people who undervalue you, push yourself up and respect your thoughts.
Have faith in yourself that you are the great cause of happiness in this world, not just for yourself, but for everybody in this creation.
The whole idea behind this article is that to completely remove the sense of loneliness you should be LOVE, you shouldn't look for love. What is love is, someone who is filled with contentment, happiness, that's it.
Everything will be created and will be destroyed. People will come and go, it will be your awareness that will stay with you. By doing this you do not become antisocial or lonely but this shows that you are more content with yourself.
"You are not a being that is aware, You are the awareness itself", A quote by anonymous.
If you want me to bring a series of articles on similar topics, do comment below. Do share this article if this article helped you in any way. Thanks. "Stay Happy" !!
© 2021 Sagar Verma